I didn't want to disappoint my friend, but I wanted to feel free to be who I was, and I wanted her to respect me for that. I like to find out who people are and judge them through my own experiences with them, especially people who I see so often. She knew this about me, but she still let me know how much I disappointed her in different ways. It didn't sit well with me, but I just didn't feel right doing the things she wanted me to. If I got involved with her fight against her family, it would have been so much more difficult and awkward for them to resolve things. It would only add more fuel to the fire. I didn't want to be involved with that. At the same time, it hurt me to see Teresa hurting. I wanted things to get better for her. It's also natural for me, when I see someone hurting, to offer my help. I'm a great listener and communicator, so I did feel a little shut out by Teresa in other areas, but I think I finally understand the way Teresa thinks now. I started to understand her boundaries more, and I needed to respect them. I also wanted her to respect where I was coming from.
Teresa and I both know that I never asked her about her financial situation, nor did I care to know any details of it. I was a good listener when she needed me, and I felt like I gave great advice. The times Teresa opened up to me about her grievances, they were mostly about her family. It became a little repetitive and petty after a while, so it became harder to hear at times, but I still wanted to be there for her. I was mostly concerned about the many personal, public articles that kept coming out in national magazines that she never acknowledged around us. All I knew was that Teresa told me she was putting out articles (as you saw at Jamie’s wedding), but I never knew what parts of them were true or not anymore. Some of them said scary things. Things that you would talk to your best friend about. Things I worried for her about. I figured that if Teresa took the time to share with the tabloids certain things about her life, friends, and family, which allowed many strangers to read these things and left people to speculate on what was real or not, that I just wanted the same (if not more respect) as her best friend -- to hear the truths straight from the source. I just wanted to know what was real or fake, if she needed my help at all, or to know if she was really hurting or not. The thought of her suffering in silence concerned me. I wanted her to talk to me about the things she was opening up to the tabloids about. Those seemed like much more serious issues to worry about than if Melissa was copying her feather skirt or not.