Just know that she loves your husband and that she just wishes things were the way they were before his life with you. I know it's not fair that she takes out a lot of her anger on you when she feels most upset at her brother. I know that you didn’t do anything horribly wrong to start this battle, but you hold your own when you need to. From what I understand, Teresa just wants to be back up on the pedestal where she felt your husband put her before he put you there as his wife. She sees the bond you have and she may not have the same bond with her husband, so she may resent the life you two have. She used to have her brother to herself, but now she has to share his time with you, your children, and your extended family. When Joey was single, he looked up to his sister and her life, and she liked that. He spent all his extra time with her. Once he got new obligations and responsibilities that come from having a family of his own, he had to prioritize his time. I think she became a little envious of his new lifestyle and that is where the competition started. I think she began to feel like he didn't need her anymore. But he does. I think you wanted a relationship with her, but she made it very difficult for you to enjoy her company, because you could sense her animosity toward you so it was hard to warm up to her. You also already had your own sisters to turn to, so you had your own support aside from Teresa where she only had her brother and you. I know she has done and said some horrible things to you that are difficult to forgive. I know at times you reacted to those things and the tit for tat cycle continued.
If Teresa ever decides to SINCERELY attempt to try again (notice I used the word sincerely) then open up your heart and embrace her like a sister and include her in your life as one. It may be possible that Teresa will never be able to move past this and she will continue to be a toxic force in your life and a wedge in your marriage forcing you to walk away. I hope that is not the case. You'll know.
Teresa, it brings back some painful memories to see you and your brother hurting over each other. I hated seeing that. I honestly and sincerely just wanted to fix you both so that my friend could be happy again. The truth is, I saw and still see you both hurting. I know your pain comes from your brother gaining a wife you resented, his kids, and his extended family as well as them joining the show. Things change when we grow up and get married. You can't expect to have your brother with you every day like he was before he got married. It doesn't mean that he loves you any less than he ever did. I will tell you what I've said to you so many times before during our talks, when you asked me for advice. If you ever want a good relationship with your brother, you have to respect his wife and his relationship with her first.