In Vino Veritas
Kathy discusses the truths learned from this week's episode.
I think it’s best for me to pick up where we left off last week -- In vino veritas (in wine, is truth).
Truth: To be perfectly honest, the toast didn’t really bother me all that much. At this point, when it comes to Teresa, even though I always remain optimistic and hopeful that we may find a happier place in our relationship, I have come to not expect too much. I know that is unfortunate, but I also know her tactics, and it’s very clear to me what she was trying to do.
Truth: When I joined everyone in the hot tub, you can see that I really wasn’t that upset. I made a joke about the toast, and we all laughed it off. I was over it. Truth: In the hot tub, where it was just our family, I had the opportunity to tell her how glad I was that she and her brother were getting along and how we all had such a nice time together on this trip.
Truth: When Teresa and I had a chance to talk one on one in the hot tub, all I was trying to do was point out that there is a pattern to her behavior. She has a way of turning her back on relationships that were so dear to her for years. As soon as there was a conflict, she simply no longer had use for friends who have been supportive and had become her family.
Truth: It’s definitely no secret that Caroline doesn’t need anyone to fight her battles, and let’s be completely clear, that’s not what I was trying to do. Caroline happened to be the most current example of what I was trying to explain to Teresa. I really wanted her to see things from another point of view. I thought this was important, especially since both Caroline and Jacqueline have been trying so hard to help her reconcile with her brother.
Truth: I know how they must have felt, because I had been in that same position. I always tried my best to get Teresa and her brother Joey to try and communicate better and to resolve their differences. Joey made a good point when he said that Teresa refuses to consider any other point of view and never sees anything as her fault. She tends to see things in terms of black and white with no middle ground. Either you’re for her or against her. This attitude does not serve her well at all.Truth: In retrospect, I do regret trying to reason with Teresa. It was an exercise in futility. I wanted to see a resolution between everyone in the hopes of leaving all the ill feelings behind in California and going back to New Jersey with a clean slate. Sadly I was mistaken.
Truth: Teresa grabbed my face when she noticed that I was looking into my phone to pull up one of the “In Touch” magazine articles in which she accuses me saying things about her that I’ve never said. Once again, a joke to someone’s face gives everyone the opportunity for an exchange and then it’s over. The written word is so much more powerful and certainly more permanent.
Truth: Under NO circumstance is it OK to put your hands on someone during a discussion! Teresa had gone to a very bad place, and if I had not remained in control when she started to get physical, the evening would have gotten very ugly, very quickly. I really felt sorry for her. Truth: I never once raised my voice or spoke to Teresa disrespectfully, which to me shows that a person has confidence in the point they are trying to make. Conversely, when Teresa started to lose control, it was a sign that she was increasingly desperate in trying to be convincing. I tried to calm the situation. I went and sat next to her so she would not view it as an attack. I didn’t want her to feel that there were sides and my intention was for unity not division. But herein lies the real truth. Nothing I said or did was working and nothing was going to. She would not consider anything I was trying to tell her. Teresa would have nothing of anyone’s attempt to mediate.
Truth: When Joe and Teresa announced they were leaving that evening, I thought it was a wise decision for Joey and Melissa to be with them. Given Joe Giudice’s condition and Teresa’s emotional state, neither one was in any condition to be traveling by themselves. I went in to check on Teresa before they left to help her gather her things and to try and calm her down before they headed out. It was sad that our conversation ended this way. However after seeing what transpired with the men, I can see there were more truths being told that evening.
All I know is, I was looking forward to meeting up with my kids and my sister, Rosie, who flew out to San Francisco a few days earlier. We had so much fun exploring the beautiful California coast.
See you all next week.
Lots of love,