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Party of None

Episode 4: Bravotv.com's Associate Editor explores all of this week's surprises (both good and bad).

This week was all about surprises. They can be good, like when you think your sons are buying a Jag and then surprise! It's actually for you. They can also be not so good, like when you think you'll have a house full of people to eat your potato salad, macaroni salad, and lemon ice and inexplicably no one shows up. Or when you think a brother and sister are going to make up but then they don't.

How to Watch

Watch The Real Housewives of New Jersey Season 14 premiere May 5th at 8/9c on Bravo and stream next day on Peacock.

No. 3 - The Manzo Mobile

Damn it feel good to be a Manzo! The kids rolled into the local Jersey Jaguar dealership on the hunt for the perfect “bitch” magnet for Chris and Albie. (I like that Chris and Albie are totally cool to just share one pimp car between the two of them.) Clearly that white Jag was the right choice, because it started pulling up Lauren’s skirt right off the bat. Now that’s a full service car.

But oh wait -- the car’s for Caroline! Now that was a well-executed surprise, Al. Hats off. The Manzo matriarch can’t ride around Franklin Lakes in any old vehicle. Though something tells me the idea of a car that attracts bitches isn’t exactly a feature that Caroline would be too excited about.

The Bitch Magnet
Party of None

Poor Kathy. She just wants to be the glue that brings her family together. And who doesn’t love a good backyard BBQ/pool party? Family fun at its finest. But Kathy just can’t catch a break between Rich telling his kids to secretly not invite any of their friends and Caroline and Jacqueline backing out. The glue was left with two feuding siblings and enough potato salad, pasta salad, and lemon ice for an army. Sadly the lemon ice did not manage to cool any tempers.

The other thing I couldn’t help thinking –- were Victoria and Joseph miffed that their annual party got taken over? Hopefully they just had their friends over the next day for all the leftover potato salad, pasta salad, and lemon ice.
Distance Yourself from Teresa
A Family Affair

Was it just me or were Teresa and Joe this close to making up at the pool party? I really thought it was going to happen. Alas, such was not the case. They seemed to get caught up on, what else, but family.

You say Caroline and Jacqueline are your family.
You say that Melissa’s sisters are your family.
I only have you and our parents.
I don’t need anyone.
Be an aunt.
Why doesn’t Melissa be an aunt?

 

You get the idea. Isn’t it a good thing to have a lot of people in your life that you consider close enough to be family? Does it need to be a competition? Can’t we all just get along? Of course easier said as an outsider, because sibling fights never make sense to anyone else but those involved. Something tells me though that we’re maybe (hopefully?) approaching a breakthrough.

The Family Feud Continues
Next week Jacqueline has a field day. Literally.
It's a Civil War
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