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Porcelain, Rainbows, and a Child's Laughter

Episode 5: Bravotv.com's Associate Editor was a fan of Chris Manzo's description of Kathy Wakile.

There were many lessons to be learned this week. Mainly that the way to someone's heart is through pastries, not books. Also find a way to stifle your laughter when your tween daughter asks for a training bra.

How to Watch

Watch The Real Housewives of New Jersey Season 14 premiere May 5th at 8/9c on Bravo and stream next day on Peacock.

No. 3 - Book It

The most important lesson from Gia's breakdown -- do not read her books! Just don't do it. She was not feeling Jacqueline's story on sportsmanship at all. (Side note: Does Jacqueline keep that book on hand during every field day? Or was it an odd coincidence that it was lying around? Books may be the biggest troublemakers in Jersey i.e. Cop Without a Badge.) Now the book wasn't exactly riveting, sure, but I wouldn't go so far as to say it was torture. (To be fair, we only heard a page of it.) Or perhaps Gia just feels very strongly about reading to herself. In any event, I'm sure Jacqueline will never be reading a book in Gia's presence ever again.

And how sweet was it when Kathy stepped in to help out Gia? What better way to soothe the pain of having a book read to you than to fall into the arms of the woman who comes bearing trays of desserts? I'm guessing Kathy probably slipped Gia some cannoli right then before the hordes descended upon them. That would cheer anyone up.

Gia's Breakdown
No. 2 - Little Women

Watching Teresa crack up while scoping out the training bra selection was hilarious. It's kind of like when the actors on SNL break during a sketch and you can't help but laugh with them. Obviously it was a bit, um, early for Gia to be shopping around for bras, but hey, I guess you have to roll with it. You can't be the only girl without a bra in middle school. I couldn't help but wonder though whether Teresa's laughter was partially motivated by the abject fear that comes along with realizing your daughter has officially crossed over into tweenhood. From what I understand, this is probably one of the most terrifying moments in a parent's life.

But props to Gia for sticking it out and getting that bra. I felt her pain at constantly being rebuffed by her parents. (I totally had a flashback moment to asking my parents to buy me baggy jeans in the '90s and being cruelly rebuffed.) She was already fragile going to a lingerie store for the first time, so Teresa cracking jokes certainly wasn't helping (justified as they may be). The road to adulthood is paved with incredibly awkward moments.

Gia's First Bra
No. 1 - Porcelain, Rainbows, and a Child's Laughter

Much like Chris Manzo as he was saying it, I cracked up during his description of Kathy. Allow me to refresh your memory, "I love Kathy Wakile. We say she's made of porcelain, rainbows, and a child's laughter." I personally would have substituted porcelain for cannoli, but otherwise I think that's probably accurate. Again, look at how she comforted Gia. Plus I don't think it hurt that she shows up with trays of desserts wherever she goes. This folks is likely the secret to making people love you -- baked goods.

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