I can't make any excuses for what Joe said to me. He doesn't talk like that to me at home, he's never called me that name before, and he doesn't remember saying it. But it's not right. It hurt my feelings, and it was horrible to watch played out on national TV.
Why did he say it? I have no idea. I do know we were in the wine capital of America drinking heavily... Alcohol + camera = not a good idea. But believe me, if he talked to me like that regularly, we would not be together. I don't know why the camera (and alcohol) brings out the worst in him... it just does. Imagine being filmed all the time during the most stressful parts of your life. Last year was not an easy year for either of us for a lot of reasons: finances, family, people we thought were our friends...
We were on an 8-day trip in close quarters with people Joe didn't really want to be with. Eight days of nonstop filming is a long, long time. He did have problems with his work back home, and we left our kids behind in a hurricane. I guess it made for the perfect storm in more ways than one. But no matter what the circumstances were, it's not OK that he talked to me like that. It's not OK for our relationship, it's not OK as an example for our daughters, it's not how I want to be spoken to or will be spoken to by anyone.
Joe does feel terrible, and he's apologized to me and all of our friends. We all have a bad side, but not all of us are lucky enough to have it broadcast around the world. Being on TV is like being in front of the worst mirror ever sometimes. Hopefully you learn from it and try to be a better person.