And we're both trying. I don't think anyone on TV doesn't watch themselves and cringe at what they thought would be a funny joke at the time that just comes out sounding terrible or awkward. I know I do. But you also can't over analyze it or you'll go crazy or start faking your way through everything. I would rather be imperfect than fake. Or crazy for that matter. But, I'm not going to lie, it does hurt.
My husband disrespecting me on camera happened a year ago, but I just found out about it, and I'm trying to process it. I seem to always be the last to find out things, huh? People's pasts keep coming out and they admit their dirty deeds to me, like my own family contacting Danielle to try and "take me down," but I only find out about it months or years later. They say they're sorry, they're not that person now, and what can I do? I forgive them. I forgave my brother and Melissa, and I can forgive Joe. But I'm not stupid. It does make me wary, it does make it hard to trust the people I love.
But that's how it is in grown-up life. It's not a fairy tale. Everyone I know has their own share of heartbreak. And to be honest, guys in Jersey aren't the most refined in the world. I look around me and I see other guys treating their women the same as Joe treated me and worse. I don't like it; I don't think any woman does. It's weird that we put up with it when we're so strong and smart in so many other ways... But I'm sure it's the same with guys in a lot of places.
They're different animals. They are animals. They think it's funny to show everyone their buttholes. Women aren't like this. We have our own kind of ugly that men don't understand. But we have to work it out and live together, don't we? I don't really want a guy that acts like a woman. I'd rather not have Joe talk to me like a perfect gentlemen and go to his mistress' apartment every night either.