Napalm, Blubber, and Lauren's Lap Band
Teresa shares her thoughts on Caroline and Lauren's struggle with weight.
Like every Housewife in every city, I think filming the reunion is one of the worst parts of our job. It's a long, long day, it always gets ugly, it's hard to sit through and even harder to watch. At least this year I knew what I was walking into: I knew the other cast members, even my family, were going to band together to bash me. Last year was a total shock. This year was just sickening and sad.
I think one big difference between New Jersey and the other cities though is that most of the women on our show prepare for weeks for the ambush. They write little notes and look over every little thing I ever wrote. They're so desperate to make me look bad. Here's the thing: I don't care. I know who I am and I don't need to prove it to any of them. And I'm certainly not going to waste my off-camera, family time looking up words in the dictionary and making obsessive lists about them. For one, I'm not obsessed with any of them. If none of them had showed up at the Borgata, I think me and Andy could have still filmed a good show. For two, I'm not desperate to prove them all wrong, because they prove it all by themselves in every blog and every interview. I don't have to dig all the way down to vocabulary words (and PS for the millionth time: spell check! It's not hard!) because I've got nothing else. Their lies and contradictions are right there in black-and-white and there are far too many to list!
I do never know what crazy angle the other women are going to take at me, so my strategy is to sit there and be as calm and mature as I can. As calm and mature as anyone can filming all day with 10 people coming at you! I'm not an actress, I don't practice in the mirror at night, so my reaction isn't always perfect. But I'm not perfect. I'm just me.
Once we started going there with each other on our appearance, I guess it opened a can of worms for me that has really bothered me for a long time: Caroline's hypocritical and crazy unhealthy view of herself and how her view upsets her daughter. First of all, I have no problem with Caroline's body. Everybody is different and every size can be beautiful. But you have to own it, not lie about it. What I can't stand is that Caroline has for years talked about how she loses weight naturally, she even did interviews on her "portion control," meanwhile she's hiding behind a secret surgery. I'm sorry, I don't like that. It's one thing to keep your private business private, but then don't go being the poster child for natural weight loss and lying to everyone. And especially when you're lying to the public, you're helping create this body image lie that young girls are suffering from. Imagine if I told everyone I got bigger bubbies because I just took a certain vitamin. Guess what? It's not true and that's not fair to the public who really wanted to know how I did it.Then you had her big storyline all season: hovering over Lauren's shoulder and obsessing about her weight. I would NEVER allow that to be my storyline. Poor Lauren. When Caroline said in one of her on-camera interviews that she "couldn't even relate" to Lauren's struggle because she'd "been tiny her whole life," I realized what the problem was: Caroline. You should embrace your children and how they look, not constantly remind them how miserable they are, making them even more miserable.
And let's get this straight: Lauren was 185 pounds. Not 285. She's 24. Do you think major surgery chopping up your stomach is the answer for that extra 30 pounds? I don't. The ones who are sending out the bad message to kids in America are Lauren and Caroline for acting like Lauren was a prehistoric beast before and the lap band saved her life. The lap band surgery is a miracle for some people, for people who are extremely unhealthy, who have tried everything, who've had babies and are older with slow metabolisms. Look at Lisa Lampanelli. I know she tried everything, and the lap band worked wonders for her. She looks amazing! That's the person who should get lap band, not a 24-year-old with a controlling mother. Sorry, but that's my opinion.
I do want to apologize to anyone watching and any of my friends and family if it seemed like I only think skinny is beautiful. That's absolutely not true. My mother is the most beautiful woman I know and she's not a toothpick. My husband isn't super skinny and I call him "juicy and delicious." He's sexy to me. My friends are all different sizes and all beautiful. What your body looks like doesn't matter to me at all (unless you're a big public hypocrite about it!). I know the "blubber" comment was really random, so I want to explain where it came from...I have a habit of remembering certain words when I hear them and using them later in a totally different way. Like when I heard about John Mayer saying Jessica Simpson was "sexual napalm" I thought that was a really good description of how something clings to you, and I used "napalm" in my blog. Before the reunion my friend and I were talking about how I feel bad now about how everyone treated Danielle. I didn't see it, how bad everyone was to her, until last year. And my friend was like: "It's like your living in a Judy Blume novel! You're in Blubber! You were friends with the mean girls and you didn't realize how mean they were until they turned on you!" I guess I just had that in my head and "blubber" came out! I didn't plan to say something so crazy, the word was just in my head. I was thinking about a book about mean girls, not trying to be a mean girl! Sorry!
There's really not much more to say. Rosie shocked me, but then again, she really didn't. I think you got to see a bit more of the Kathy that I know... And Melissa and Jacqueline... stay tuned because their crazy is just getting started!
Thank you all for your kind words and support! Follow me on Twitter @Teresa_Giudice or visit my website at www.teresagiudice.com for more information on my appearances, where to buy Fabellini, Milania Hair Care, and PearlBrite!