Cast Blog: #RHONJ

Teresa in Wonderland

Amber Calls Out Andy Cohen

Dina: What am I Doing Here?

Amber: Is Dina Coldhearted?

Dina: "The Reunion was Very Hard to Watch"

Teresa: We Love Hard, We Fight Hard

Dina: The Ladybug Event was Perfection

Amber: I Felt I Like I Was Being Hazed

Melissa: Continue to Pray for Teresa's Family

Why Amber Shares Her Cancer Story

Dina: I Was Team Santa

Teresa: I Don't Blame Jim

Bobby's Unacceptable Behavior

Amber: Dina is Jealous

Melissa: "We are Heartbroken"

Dina Reacts to the Sentencing

Kathy Talks Kevin Jonas

Amber: Dina Was Planning a Blood Bath

Jim and Amber Were on Different Pages

Dina on Bobby's "Bizarre" Behavior

Amber Calls BS on Dina

Nicole: Words are So Powerful

Teresa: "Kudos to Dina!"

Teresa: I Love the Show, I Love My Fans

Praying for a Positive Outcome for Teresa

"Tipsy Melissa is My Spirit Animal"

Dina's Lose-Lose Situation

Jacqueline on Her Status with Teresa

Why Teresa Told Dina the Rumor

Amber on Her Cancer Scare

Teresa: There was an Agenda to Hurt My Family

Melissa: I Do Feel for Amber

Dina: Gia's Beautiful Inside and Out

Nicole: This is Not 'Jerry Springer'

Amber on Her Meltdown with Teresa

Amber's Emotional Call to Teresa

Teresa Thanks the Fans

Dina: Florida Will Be the New Scary Island

Teresa: I Wish I Never Heard the Rumor

Amber on the Shocking Rino Rumor

Victoria Gotti's Big No No

Teresa in Wonderland

Teresa Giudice explains why she feels like Alice.

Hello from the Jersey Shore! I'm holding on to the last week of summer as long as I can!

One of the days we had no sun, I sat down and watched Alice in Wonderland with the girls. When's the last time you saw that movie? It is seriously f-ed up! When I was a kid, I didn't like it, because it was too weird and scary. But I actually enjoyed watching it this time, because I felt like I could relate. It's not that different from watching RHONJ! I felt like Alice all last season every time I filmed with the other women, because I never knew what to expect and they were insane in a different way almost every day.

If you think about it, it actually fits really well. If I'm Alice (and according to my cast members' blogs and interviews -- blah blah blah blah Teresa blah blah blah blah Teresa Teresa -- it is The Teresa Show), then it's pretty easy to see who everyone else is: Caroline is the Red Queen (I don't think I need to say anything more about that...); her kids are those playing cards, running around trying to make the Queen happy so they stay on the payroll; Jacqueline is the goofy, confusing and very confused Cheshire Cat; Kathy is the high-and-mighty Caterpillar with her hookah, who insults other people's intelligence but can't pronounce words correctly herself; and Melissa... I think she's both Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dee since she seems to think she can play two different characters at once: the innocent, fun girl who puts on a show falling into a foot of water in a river and pretending to be scared, and her real self with her nasty little comments, blogs, and interviews...Speaking of that, before I forget, I am sincerely blown away that while even Jacqueline and Caroline managed to find enough respect to avoid talking about my husband's infamous "phone call" last week, and Melissa said because she didn't like anyone talking about her marriage, she wouldn't either, Melissa then ran to AOL and did a big interview about it anyway. I should be surprised, but like anyone who really knows Melissa, I'm not. All year she says that I crossed a line talking about her marriage (in PRIVATE to my own BROTHER) but it's cool for her to make awful assumptions to the public like I knew who Joe was talking to and I'm in denial? For the record, I have no idea who Joe was talking to and neither does he. It was a year ago and it wasn't just one person, it was a whole bunch of phone calls strung together. He can't remember who he was specifically talking to (and there was no "hi baby" like the media reported, was there?), but he thinks it was probably his driver, who's a childhood friend of his. The rest of the article is ridiculous and completely one-sided

The only thing keeping me sane through all of this is you all. Thank you so much for being on this crazy journey with me and seeing what I see! Bravo viewers (even the ones who don't admit they watch) are the smartest and most sophisticated viewers out there! No matter which Housewives you love or love to hate, you all aren't fooled by fake set-ups and bad acting. You all see everything, even things I missed!Thank you for seeing the hypocrisy of women who act like I'm wrong for being on the cover of In Touch but throw a party when Melissa's on the cover of a local "magazine" and pretend they didn't see Melissa actually bashing me in US Weekly the same week. You see the crazy of Kathy pulling up a comment I made about her husband's jokes on her phone and pretending to be shamed... this from the woman who took a paycheck to go on national TV and bash her own family member in every episode.

I don't know why the other women think the viewers are stupid, think you guys don't read every blog, every interview, every tweet, and REMEMBER them! You see my blogs are the same since the first season. You see how Melissa forgets you all can read and you keep track of all her contradictions. You see how Caroline doesn't even bother with a blog anymore because she has nothing to really write about because her whole argument is nonsense. (Whoever wrote me and called her "Angry Chuckie"... not nice, but thank you for making me laugh so hard I almost peed my pants!) You know how we talk to each other, how we put our hands on someone's face to say "look me in the eyes" like how Caroline did to me at the Season 2 reunion and how I did to Kathy; you know it's not a big deal like St. Kathy was making out.
I'm sorry, but it does make me feel better that the person accusing me of things can't even tell Andy Cohen exactly what I did to her, is the one who calls their own kid an asshole on TV, and says with a straight face that she "can't relate" to her daughter's weight struggles because she's "been tiny" her whole life (made my heart break for Lauren). If you are respectable and walk the walk yourself, I'm happy to listen to your opinion of me. If you're a delusional, hypocritical ball of anger who schemes against anyone and everyone, even members of your own family, I'm not.

So about Caroline and her big scary blow-up at me... It was very intense, all the animosity and hatred coming off of Caroline. I've known her a long time, and I've seen her be this way with many, many people in her life. She has a really unhappy, almost evil energy. I have to say though, as many times as she called me names and said horrible things to me, screaming and trying to get a rise out of me, I'm very proud of myself that I held it together. Again, thank you all for that. Since Season 1, you've helped me see that there are better ways to deal with things than just screaming and fighting. I really want to be a better person, even in my worst moments. At one point, I was so close to saying something really nasty to Caroline, but I caught myself and bit it back. I thought about Dina and their mom, Nettie, and I didn't want to hurt them, so I didn't say it. (I'm only human though, so I did call her a few names under my breath in my own room. Sorry!)
I guess Caroline doesn't have the same respect for my mother, because she told horrible lies about me and my mom. I've never said any of the things Caroline said I did, NOT ONE. Thankfully Caroline is a well-documented liar (remember Season 1 with the Danielle book at the salon?), and I'm not. The idea that anyone could poison a mother against her own son, especially an Italian mother against her only son, is crazy. My mother loves my brother and no one could change that, and I would never want to. We are all my mother has. She doesn't have 11 other kids to look to when we're fighting. It breaks her heart. (P.S. everyone knows I usually speak to my mom in Italian, and Caroline doesn't speak the language, just sayin'. Maybe it's an "off the boat" thing...)

Like I said, I've known Caroline a long time and know how she operates. And even before we ever had a bad word, I never trusted her. I know how she stirs things up and twists things, and I would never say anything in front of her that she could use later against me. Because she would. They all would. They take notes and bring them to the reunion! I'm not an idiot, I watched Real Housewives of New York when they had new cast members come on board. I saw how it backfired on Jill when she tried to tell other cast members not to film with people. It's not cool and it doesn't work anyway. If they're on the show, they're on the show. Did I hate how Melissa and Kathy joined the show behind my back? I've always been honest about that: yes I did. But I got over it. I never told Caroline or Jacqueline to hate Melissa or Kathy. In fact, I said the opposite: go be friends with them! I knew they'd all have to interact because we were filming together. And I knew the only thing me saying "don't like them" would get me is a big hatefest at a future reunion. Why would I want that?And as for Melissa being a stripper, hell no, I never said she was to Caroline. For one, I didn't know if she was. I heard the same rumors around town that everyone else did, but I chose not to believe them. The truth always comes out, and I wait to judge or act on things until it does. You can call that naive or in denial, but it's how I listen to my heart. I can't condemn someone who might be innocent, and dirty deeds and dirty pasts always come out. When they do, I'll act. For two, if I thought for one moment Melissa actually was a stripper, Caroline would be the last person on earth on I would ever tell. Why? Because it makes me and my family look bad! I don't hear her bragging about her family's dark side -- and for good reason. Why would you want anyone to know that?

I still to this day don't know if Melissa was or wasn't a stripper or a call girl or a whore or a lesbian or a drug user in her past. And I don't care. When she first started dating my brother, when she came around with her fake bubbies and her rumors, yeah, I cared. But Joey loved her, they got married, and I accepted her as a sister. Whatever she did or didn't do is in the past. In the present she's my brother's wife and the mother of my niece and nephews. I might not like her as a person very much, but she's using my last name, and I have no interest in Gorgas being associated with anything ugly. I still pray it's all not true!

And remember, I'm not the one that obsesses over other people's pasts, digs them up, and tries to humiliate them in our town -- that's Caroline and Jacqueline's hobby. Isn't it interesting that they did it with Danielle and tried to ruin her life as a mom to two lovely girls when her past was 17 years earlier, yet they don't care at all about their new best friend Melissa's past? Jacqueline suddenly she just doesn't care about the same kind of past in another new Housewife? I'm not buying it. I have no reason to bring down or (further) humiliate my own family. Caroline and Jacqueline however have a million reasons to want to hurt me and my family and make us look bad...The show started out as all about their family. They were the stars, I was just the silly friend. I wasn't interested in doing a show with my family at all. I'm still not. I turn down opportunities for my own TV show all the time, because I won't do a show that exploits me and my kids. I know other people are super into that and would jump at the chance, especially for all the money, but I won't do it. I won't sell out my family.

Keep watching, because it's about to get even more insane! Caroline's Wonderland continues to all new levels of crazy! And don't forget the "seed" the other ladies have been planting all season: that I'm a huge mastermind. I am the reason for everything -- global warming, gas prices, why people can't show up to reunions, why their sons don't get into law school... I personally know and pay every single mean person on Twitter and every blogger, even the ones who write bad things about me too. They're all in my army! And I won't rest until everyone is under my shoe, or my thumb, or my eyes, or however they said it...wait, Milania just tried to tie her sister to something. Since according to Melissa and her sisters last season I'm so pathetic I can't even afford a nanny, I guess I'll have to be the mom and go take care of this...

Then I'm going to go pour myself a big glass of Fabellini to toast another wonderful un-birthday. A very merry un-birthday to you (and you)!

Love, love, love you all!

Tanti Baci,
Teresa xx
@Teresa_Giudice (PS-- My Joe is not and has never been on Twitter! Just me and @TrueGia)

Amber: I Felt I Like I Was Being Hazed

Amber Marchese dishes on her experience this season on #RHONJ.

We made it Housewife friends! As it was my rookie season, I felt like I was being hazed in a sorority, but as hard as it was, I made it! I learned so much about how strong I am as a person and some areas that I can work on. I learned that I really do have a “no surrender, never retreat” mentality. I will go to bat with anyone, at any time, and will defend myself and my family at all cost. I also witnessed the undying love that my husband has for me and his family. He was not going to let anyone hurt me and will unleash hell if someone tries. He is truly my modern day Spartan warrior. 

I am so blessed to have shared my experience and struggles with breast cancer -- the timing of my five year mark, the photo shoot, and growing my hair for five years then cutting it for charity -- it was nothing short of a miracle that the Bravo was able to catch that all. It was just meant to be and God was truly working his wonders. Cutting my hair was completely symbolic for me, since cancer no longer defines me. I will never forget, however the pain, fear, and anxiety is in my rear view mirror now. I can sometimes look back to remind myself where I came from, but it in no way defines my future. It is my promise to all of you, I will never take that for granted, especially knowing that there are thousands struggling with cancer every day. 

On to my perspective on the season finale! I am not quite sure why the twins make it a point to confront others in front of large crowds. As Teresa said, they had two weeks to call her and speak to her about what Victoria Gotti had said to us. If they had an issue or wanted an apology, so be it, but what ever happened to being a civilized human being and picking up the phone to call? They did the same thing to me. Two weeks went by without any phone call from them. In fact, they never returned any of my phone calls or texts! They decided to make a scene in front of an entire party. Difference is, this was at a charity event with children in ear shot. Can you blame me for not wanting to bring my babies to this event? I would have absolutely loved my children sashaying down the runway, but there is absolutely no way I would EVER allow my babies to hear what went on. I spoke with Teresa and I knew the twins never called her. So I knew exactly what was brewing, so did Dina. My children come first and mama was protecting her children. Dina was brazen enough to kick Jim and me out of the Florida home for less of an offense, why wasn’t Dina kicking the twins out because they were making a scene at her own charity function for children?! Can we say double standard? Where were her “heads rolling” that she claimed would happen if someone started anything at a Ladybug event? 

I will add that I completely understand how hurt the twins are. I can understand their anger. However, I cannot understand their way of handling conflict. That level of “hot headedness,” I would think, cools down at a certain age as we tend to calm ourselves, think clearly, and with wisdom. It is a level of discernment that should happen after a certain age or experience in life. 

Dina claims to be Teresa’s friend of 25 years, but does not back up her friend at all. If that was my friend, like Christine or Angelia, whom I have been friends for just as long, the twins would not have gotten to the letter T in stupid before I would be dragging them out of the event by their ears. Dina doesn’t have to agree with her best friend, but she should also never allow someone to call her friend of 25 years stupid, at her own charity function no less. Especially knowing what her friend is going through, which pales in comparison to some stupid rumor.

Since Dina has unwarranted venom towards my husband and has completely snubbed him for his previous contributions to The Ladybug Project, I am going to thank him on their behalf for coming up with the idea of the children's fashion show, as well as the connection to East Coast Stars. Since Jim did not attend, he also made a sizable cash donation on behalf of our family. Jim had also worked hard before all the drama to make sure Ladybug even had a venue with all costs covered, including food and beverage. The venue was ultimately not chosen, but Jim had still worked hard to give Dina an option for the event. Instead she chooses to focus on Jim’s comment about her IQ after she interrogated him at an extremely inappropriate, charged moment right after his wife was attacked. Despite her inappropriateness, Jim still ended up apologizing to her. However in my opinion she should have apologized to him for being so glaringly insensitive. 

It may seem as if my perspective is harsh for an end of season blog, LOL! But it is what I was feeling at the time. I owe it to you all to give you my honest interpretation of it. However, at the end of the season, I came out having a certain amount of respect for all of these ladies. Being on a reality show is hard; it pushes us to our limits and it is nothing short of psychological warfare. I truly hope you will support all of us, equally. Teams are good, and appreciated; however, keep the hate towards other Housewives out of it. Perspective are OK, different points of view are what make the world go round, however, when your perspective rises to a level of cruelty, it takes the fun out of our jobs. Allow us to be ourselves, with the good moments and even the moments when we could have handled ourselves a little better. At the end of the day, the Housewives are girlfriends that have strong personalitiesand disagreements -- we love, we hate, and we make up. That’s life. 

I have would like to thank: Denee Lockhart, Amy Malkoff, J. Vincent Jewelers, Cate Scaglione Photography, Castle Couture, Action Media Productions, Elinet Cakes, Christine’s Restaurant, Historical Names, East Coast Stars, Zaboyon, Greenhouse Flowers, Johnny Donavan PR, Anthony Palmieri stylist, Tony Bowls evening wear, and finally, my husband Jim and my mom, Pamula Aguero. 

It was an amazing experience that I would not change for the world. I want to thank all of you for you love and support. This was a wild ride. 

Many blessings to all!

Amber Marchese