Cast Blog: #RHONJ

Too Freakin' Busy

Amber Calls Out Andy Cohen

Dina: What am I Doing Here?

Amber: Is Dina Coldhearted?

Dina: "The Reunion was Very Hard to Watch"

Teresa: We Love Hard, We Fight Hard

Dina: The Ladybug Event was Perfection

Amber: I Felt I Like I Was Being Hazed

Melissa: Continue to Pray for Teresa's Family

Why Amber Shares Her Cancer Story

Dina: I Was Team Santa

Teresa: I Don't Blame Jim

Bobby's Unacceptable Behavior

Amber: Dina is Jealous

Melissa: "We are Heartbroken"

Dina Reacts to the Sentencing

Kathy Talks Kevin Jonas

Amber: Dina Was Planning a Blood Bath

Jim and Amber Were on Different Pages

Dina on Bobby's "Bizarre" Behavior

Amber Calls BS on Dina

Nicole: Words are So Powerful

Teresa: "Kudos to Dina!"

Teresa: I Love the Show, I Love My Fans

Praying for a Positive Outcome for Teresa

"Tipsy Melissa is My Spirit Animal"

Dina's Lose-Lose Situation

Jacqueline on Her Status with Teresa

Why Teresa Told Dina the Rumor

Amber on Her Cancer Scare

Teresa: There was an Agenda to Hurt My Family

Melissa: I Do Feel for Amber

Dina: Gia's Beautiful Inside and Out

Nicole: This is Not 'Jerry Springer'

Amber on Her Meltdown with Teresa

Amber's Emotional Call to Teresa

Teresa Thanks the Fans

Dina: Florida Will Be the New Scary Island

Teresa: I Wish I Never Heard the Rumor

Amber on the Shocking Rino Rumor

Victoria Gotti's Big No No

Too Freakin' Busy

Teresa doesn't have the time to purposefully or publicly hurt anyone.

Hi Baby Dolls!

My national book tour (well I was just in Canada this week so it was kind of international) is officially over! I'll still be appearing here and there, but for the rest of the summer, I'm just going to sit on the beach and soak up my girls! Thank you all so much for supporting me and Fabulicious: Fast & Fit! If it's sold out, you can still get it on Amazon. And keep sending me pictures of you making the food from it. I love, love, love to see your beautiful faces!

I loved watching my girls work with their daddy on our new garage/shed building. I'm proud that they're hard workers. We all are. Loved seeing them stucco. The pics I took of them with my phone that day are up on my website.

I was also so happy Rosie came over to talk to me. It's very sweet she's upset about tabloid stories about her sister, but believe me, she was preaching to the choir! Yeah, I know! Ugly tabloid stories are one of the many reasons I never wanted to see my family go through this. If Kathy ever told me she was even considering joining the show, I would have told her this is one of the really bad downsides: every skeleton, every person you ever had an argument with, everything the tabloids can twist, they will. It's not fun.

I actually think Kathy's gotten off pretty easy, and I'm thankful for that. I don't really remember seeing any negative Kathy stories except why would she come on RHONJ and bash her own cousin, and I think she probably expected those.

I thought it was interesting that Rosie said she didn't want the tabloid stories to "start a family war." It's been almost two full seasons now, and I've never said or written anything hurtful about Kathy or her family on the show (or in the press!).

Again, the big thing Kathy and Rosie are upset about? I was asked in a magazine interview if anyone harassed me about my spending since I'd filed bankruptcy, and I said the only person I can think of is my cousin, who teases me about shopping. I was talking about Richie, they put a picture of Kathy, but I'm sorry, I'm not seeing the huge insult here. Yes, when he's not calling me a bitch or "joking" about burning me on the stake, Richie does tease me about shopping. I didn't say anything else, but you can see for yourself how they all are in my business making up stories about us building a garage, freaking out about what purse I'm carrying...

Unfortunately for me, St. Kathy herself isn't so nice or restrained. Here's what you have heard from Kathy's own lips about me: "I guess intelligence is a different language for Teresa." "It's not my job to raise her." And from her blogs: "Teresa, a bit of advice -- it's usually not a good idea to bring up your spending or someone's alleged perception of it in the same conversation that you talk about your bankruptcy issues. Just sayin'." And "When Teresa could not think of an intelligent response, what does she do? Hmm, she then decides to attack me for leaving the christening. Does anyone else see a pattern here? Why is it that whenever Teresa is confronted, she flips the table? Come on, you've all been watching." Along with writing I'm "petty," "pathetic," and "mean spirited."And yet I've never had a "war" with her. I invite her to lunch and say I want to move forward, even though those insults are airing on TV at the same time.

This is the same time the mean stuff Melissa and my brother said about me in Season 3 is playing on TV, and yet I'm still trying to fix things. And they sit around and say I'm only trying to "make things right" with my family since my friends betrayed me?

Um, excuse me, but what wasn't "right" with my family? Oh yeah, my family betrayed me by joining the show behind my back and trashing me on it. I don't want to keep bringing it up, but they keep bringing up our family "problems" and THAT'S our family problem! No one else on any show has ever had to deal with an ambush like that. I think I've done a pretty good job with it. I got over it, forgave them, moved forward. I keep going to their events, I keep inviting them into my lives, and I keep my mouth shut about their personal lives. Have I ever said a word about their finances, lifestyle, pasts, parenting or personality problems? I'm not suddenly interested in my family. I've ALWAYS been all about my family. I'm not perfect and I'm not saying I never had a private argument with anyone, but I've never publicly and intentionally hurt anyone in my family.

OK, back to Kathy and Rosie... It's been weird to see Kathy put out there like she's my only cousin. I obviously have other cousins -- Rosie and her three brothers – just like I have other sister-in-laws, but only Kathy and Melissa joined the show, so I try to respect everyone else's privacy. Once Rosie decided to come on the show more, we could talk.

It was nice to be able to sit with Rosie again and just talk face-to-face. I really looked up her to growing up. And it's true, I was a papergirl because Rosie was! My father didn't want me to, but I was obsessed with being like Rosie. Rosie got to take her bike, but my father had to drive me because he was nervous because I was younger.I was close to both Rosie and Kathy, and when Kathy and Rosie had their issues, when Kathy didn't want Rosie around, I stayed out of it. I let them work it out. I wasn't trying to bring up the past because of anything other than Rosie sitting in front of me asking why things were the way they were. We were talking together about what we've been through, trying to learn from each other, comfort each other I think. Just like things are painful between me and my brother now, things were that way with her and Kathy. And it hurts. Rosie knows how I'm feeling because she's felt that way. You can still see the pain in her face when we talk about it. But you can see I'm very careful not to bring up any details that would be hurtful to Rosie or Kathy. They were lucky enough to go through it privately and not on TV, and I respect their privacy. It did make me sick to my stomach to feel pulled between the two of them, and I'm so happy that after years of working it out and going to therapy together (which I only just found out! I guess some old-school Italians do go to therapy, but they keep it secret!), they fixed it. They're actually an inspiration to me, because they got through it!

I was really hopeful therapy with my own brother was going to work, and I think you can see my brother and I are alike in a lot of ways. We're both stubborn, we both think we don't need therapy, but we love each other and we're willing to try. We're also not alike in a lot of ways. I would never talk to him like he talks to and yells at me. And I would never, ever bring my parents into this.

I did get a lot out of therapy that day, but after our session -- out in the hall -- I realized then that it wasn't the past, it was the present that was bothering Joey. Joey truly believes the worst about me, believes bad rumors from bad people, and he can't get over it. It breaks my heart.

I think that's what it really boils down to: every bad thing that happens to or is ever written about Joey and Melissa, they blame me for. They accuse me of it on Twitter, on the show, in other magazines. I've never done anything to them, and I never would. First of all, I love my family. Second, their garbage would make me stink too, so why would I want that out there? Third, I've been through the anonymous and not-so-anonymous friends/sources putting out horrible lies about me, and I wouldn't wish that on anyone. Again, one of the reasons I didn't want to do a show with my family.

When Joey brought up an article about our parents and blamed me for it, I could have died. First of all, if you know anything about me, it's that I'm fiercely protective of my parents. I don't ever talk about their private business on the show. Never have and never will.

My brother doesn't seem to feel the same way, but what he forgets is how often he talks about their private business with everyone! He thinks the only place the story about my parents could have come from is me? Joey, you just told a contractor last week on TV about them! A guy who obviously has no loyalty because he was telling tales about me to you!

From the day I was first on RHONJ, there have been horrible tabloid stories about me, but at least they were only about me. Then Kathy and Melissa and my brother join the show, and suddenly there are stories involving my parents! Are you kidding me? It's my worst nightmare!I love my brother more than anything, but I really feel like our parents should be off-limits on the show. My parents didn't sign up for this and they don't deserve it. Regardless of what my brother says on television, me, my brother, and my parents know the truth, and let's just leave it at that.

So, back to the tabloids.... Even though they know it's not true (hello, 99 percent of the tabloid stories are bad ones about me!), everyone on the show keeps trying to blame me for the tabloid stories. They keep saying it over and over and over... Why? Because they hope if they say it enough, that will make it true.

Why would they want it to be true? I have no idea. It's sad because I would never hurt any of them like this.

You've all known me for four years. I've never obsessed about anyone on our show, never went out of my way to "find out things" about them, taunt them on Twitter, harass them, have my family harass them. It's just not my style. I've never done the dirty stories, pretended to be a "source," or talked to shady people route. Ever. I'm not giving exclusive quotes to Kim G.'s friend Tom Murro. I'm not letting bloggers video me in my foyer. I honestly don't think I've ever talked to Radar Online in my life. I'm too smart, too spiritual, and too freakin' busy to waste my time on this kind of stuff. I'm taking care of four little girls and working!

Hear me clearly, Jacqueline: I'm not trying to accuse anyone else of putting the stories out there, I'm just saying it's not me. I know people over-analyze my blogs to try and find some way I hurt them, because they don't have any real reason to be mad. I never did anything purposefully or publicly hurtful to anyone. Again, I'm not perfect, I make mistakes, but I never have and never would never try and hurt someone that way.And good grief, two weeks ago I wasn't implying anything about Jacqueline's husband in my blog! I was literally trying to give an easy but emotional example I thought she might understand since she didn't get why me forgiving Melissa one time didn't count for everything I didn't know she'd done over the last two years!

I don't know how many times I can say sorry. I'm sorry I can't take the blame for everything in everyone's life. I'm not trying to take anyone down. I'm too busy trying to live my own life, trying to make myself a better person. Right after this season, I went on Celebrity Apprentice to find a new side of myself, and I think I found it. You all saw me there, and how I handled the pressure of that challenge. I learned a lot, and I will hopefully keep learning. Leaving the drama behind and raising money for sick children for NephCure put everything in perspective for me, and I'll never be the same. Our time on earth is short, and I want to spend it helping people and raising my beautiful girls and enjoying my marriage, not trolling on Twitter to hurt people I'm mad at.

I'm going to just keep moving forward, continuing to open my heart to new people and new opportunities, and pray for the best for everyone.

I hope you're all enjoying the summer! I'm loving the beach and the sunshine!

Here's how you can help NephCure: http://nephcure.org/

Here's all the places that sell my super sparkling wine Fabellini: http://www.teresagiudice.com/fabellini/

Here's my website with photos and my appearance info: http://www.teresagiudice.com/

And finally, follow me on Twitter @Teresa_Giudice. Love, love, love to you all!

Tanti Baci,

Teresa xx

Amber: I Felt I Like I Was Being Hazed

Amber Marchese dishes on her experience this season on #RHONJ.

We made it Housewife friends! As it was my rookie season, I felt like I was being hazed in a sorority, but as hard as it was, I made it! I learned so much about how strong I am as a person and some areas that I can work on. I learned that I really do have a “no surrender, never retreat” mentality. I will go to bat with anyone, at any time, and will defend myself and my family at all cost. I also witnessed the undying love that my husband has for me and his family. He was not going to let anyone hurt me and will unleash hell if someone tries. He is truly my modern day Spartan warrior. 

I am so blessed to have shared my experience and struggles with breast cancer -- the timing of my five year mark, the photo shoot, and growing my hair for five years then cutting it for charity -- it was nothing short of a miracle that the Bravo was able to catch that all. It was just meant to be and God was truly working his wonders. Cutting my hair was completely symbolic for me, since cancer no longer defines me. I will never forget, however the pain, fear, and anxiety is in my rear view mirror now. I can sometimes look back to remind myself where I came from, but it in no way defines my future. It is my promise to all of you, I will never take that for granted, especially knowing that there are thousands struggling with cancer every day. 

On to my perspective on the season finale! I am not quite sure why the twins make it a point to confront others in front of large crowds. As Teresa said, they had two weeks to call her and speak to her about what Victoria Gotti had said to us. If they had an issue or wanted an apology, so be it, but what ever happened to being a civilized human being and picking up the phone to call? They did the same thing to me. Two weeks went by without any phone call from them. In fact, they never returned any of my phone calls or texts! They decided to make a scene in front of an entire party. Difference is, this was at a charity event with children in ear shot. Can you blame me for not wanting to bring my babies to this event? I would have absolutely loved my children sashaying down the runway, but there is absolutely no way I would EVER allow my babies to hear what went on. I spoke with Teresa and I knew the twins never called her. So I knew exactly what was brewing, so did Dina. My children come first and mama was protecting her children. Dina was brazen enough to kick Jim and me out of the Florida home for less of an offense, why wasn’t Dina kicking the twins out because they were making a scene at her own charity function for children?! Can we say double standard? Where were her “heads rolling” that she claimed would happen if someone started anything at a Ladybug event? 

I will add that I completely understand how hurt the twins are. I can understand their anger. However, I cannot understand their way of handling conflict. That level of “hot headedness,” I would think, cools down at a certain age as we tend to calm ourselves, think clearly, and with wisdom. It is a level of discernment that should happen after a certain age or experience in life. 

Dina claims to be Teresa’s friend of 25 years, but does not back up her friend at all. If that was my friend, like Christine or Angelia, whom I have been friends for just as long, the twins would not have gotten to the letter T in stupid before I would be dragging them out of the event by their ears. Dina doesn’t have to agree with her best friend, but she should also never allow someone to call her friend of 25 years stupid, at her own charity function no less. Especially knowing what her friend is going through, which pales in comparison to some stupid rumor.

Since Dina has unwarranted venom towards my husband and has completely snubbed him for his previous contributions to The Ladybug Project, I am going to thank him on their behalf for coming up with the idea of the children's fashion show, as well as the connection to East Coast Stars. Since Jim did not attend, he also made a sizable cash donation on behalf of our family. Jim had also worked hard before all the drama to make sure Ladybug even had a venue with all costs covered, including food and beverage. The venue was ultimately not chosen, but Jim had still worked hard to give Dina an option for the event. Instead she chooses to focus on Jim’s comment about her IQ after she interrogated him at an extremely inappropriate, charged moment right after his wife was attacked. Despite her inappropriateness, Jim still ended up apologizing to her. However in my opinion she should have apologized to him for being so glaringly insensitive. 

It may seem as if my perspective is harsh for an end of season blog, LOL! But it is what I was feeling at the time. I owe it to you all to give you my honest interpretation of it. However, at the end of the season, I came out having a certain amount of respect for all of these ladies. Being on a reality show is hard; it pushes us to our limits and it is nothing short of psychological warfare. I truly hope you will support all of us, equally. Teams are good, and appreciated; however, keep the hate towards other Housewives out of it. Perspective are OK, different points of view are what make the world go round, however, when your perspective rises to a level of cruelty, it takes the fun out of our jobs. Allow us to be ourselves, with the good moments and even the moments when we could have handled ourselves a little better. At the end of the day, the Housewives are girlfriends that have strong personalitiesand disagreements -- we love, we hate, and we make up. That’s life. 

I have would like to thank: Denee Lockhart, Amy Malkoff, J. Vincent Jewelers, Cate Scaglione Photography, Castle Couture, Action Media Productions, Elinet Cakes, Christine’s Restaurant, Historical Names, East Coast Stars, Zaboyon, Greenhouse Flowers, Johnny Donavan PR, Anthony Palmieri stylist, Tony Bowls evening wear, and finally, my husband Jim and my mom, Pamula Aguero. 

It was an amazing experience that I would not change for the world. I want to thank all of you for you love and support. This was a wild ride. 

Many blessings to all!

Amber Marchese