Cast Blog: #RHONJ

You Can't Argue with Crazy

Teresa is done with Jacqueline and Caroline.

Holy shit, are these bitches really role playing? Yes they were. And then some.

Before I get into that though, I have to address what my brother said about my parents: it’s not true. I knew Joey could be petty, like his comment about our carport (which he knew we were always going to do), but I didn’t know he could be so disrespectful or hurtful to our parents. My parents are very private people, and I’m not going to compromise their privacy by saying anything else, but shame on him!

So now you’re caught up to me: finally Jacqueline and Caroline say horrible things to my face instead of behind my back. They start out behind my back though, and you can still see I had no idea -– I really thought Jacqueline was a great friend.

Now that doesn’t mean I thought she was a perfect person or a perfect friend. You’re never going to agree with everything your friends do, but you can’t live their life for them. I accept my friends with all their quirks and faults. I’m very loyal like that. And I stay loyal until they give me a reason not to be. You saw how I operate on Celebrity Apprentice. I give people my heart right away, I trust them, and I’m loyal. I don’t live with my head in the sand -– I see people’s flaws. I don’t like everything my friends do or say. But one, I don’t judge or reprimand them to their face because it’s not my job to tell them they’re screwing up; it’s just my job to love them. And two, I don’t talk about them behind their back. I never have on RHONJ and I didn’t on Celebrity Apprentice either. That, to me, is loyalty.Up until Jacqueline and Caroline ambushed me that long, terrible night last summer to my face, I had no idea. I started hearing they were talking behind my back, but I didn’t want to believe it, and I don’t go by rumors. But wow, rumors were a lot easier to deal with then double crazy!

Before I get into the actual “discussion,” I have to address a few things of the things they were saying behind my back before I got there. My mother taught me to never point out, question, or judge people for what they eat or how they spend their money. Until you walk in their shoes, you don’t know, and it’s not your place to know. Apparently the Manzo and Laurita family didn’t get that same lesson. I’m only glad I don’t have an eating problem too…

Yes, bankruptcy sucks. If you’ve never been through it, God bless you, don’t file! It’s a nightmare. If you have, you know exactly what’s going on and why and how terrible it is. And it takes a long, long time. As you saw in our lawyer meeting, we withdrew our petition for bankruptcy and are paying our creditors back. It’s… still… not… final. I’m so sorry I can’t talk about it in detail (again!), because it’s not done, but the day it is, I will write a book and tell you all about it, I promise! I just met a woman at one of my book signings this week who told me she was going through a bankruptcy and that seeing how Joe and I were able to stay strong helped her keep going. It is a brutal experience that tears many people apart. I wish I could say more about it so other people could benefit, but right now I can’t…

Jacqueline knows this all too well. She and Chris revealed on the show that they have their own financial issues. WHICH I DID NOT KNOW. She and Chris know it’s sensitive, that talking about accusations against you could hurt the outcome… and yet they did it anyway. To me and Joe. Behind our back. I was sick and shocked that they would have such an obviously planned and hurtful conversation about Joe’s and my finances knowing it could hurt us. And their “generous” offer to help us at the non-existent auction of our stuff? For one, they know we would never take help from our friends. Joe would work 10 jobs before he ever took money from a friend. For two, it’s an interesting offer coming from someone with his own financial issues. For three, it’s sounds fairly illegal to me, and we’re not into that. And four, if it was really an honorable offer, it would have been done discreetly, not on camera and leaked to the press.

I didn’t know what they were saying and doing before I got there, and if I did, I wouldn’t have gone. When I got there, Jacqueline’s fake crying about the tabloid story of me possibly going to jail was my first indication that I was being set up. If she did really know me as well as she claims, she would know that if there was even a tiny possibility of me going to jail, I would be freaking out, especially to my friends. Who wouldn’t?

I do believe that Jacqueline was upset and slowly breaking down, but it was not because of an obviously fake story that obviously didn’t bother me. So what was it? Maybe it was upsetting her that at the exact same time her ex-husband, John Madison “Matt” Holmes, Ashley’s father, who we saw on this episode, was arrested with his wife for a long list of things. Funny that Jacqueline -- great friend who tells her friends everything -- never said a word about it. She tweeted about Matt being investigated by the FBI, but didn’t say one word to her friends. What? Matt was actually arrested and that doesn’t need a conversation, but me not telling her about one of the million fake stories about me in a tabloid, that’s a huge breach of our friendship?Even when I found out -– NOT from her –- about her own financial and legal troubles, would I ever talk about them on camera? No. I hate even bringing them up now, but I feel like in this case I have to because you need to see how her calling me a liar and hypocrite is just c-r-a-z-y.

This whole thing is insane, because Jacqueline knows exactly which stories about me are true and which aren’t. In the same way, I know which stories about Jacqueline are true. For her to be pretending confusion and calling me out when she has her own tabloid mess… But that’s on her… and Caroline and Melissa and Kathy and Joey (and apparently even Melissa’s sisters! Wow, love getting critiqued by Heckle and Jeckle!). They all know how interviews work because they’ve either been involved with it for the past 3 years like me, or watched their family member (me) go through it. To suddenly try and twist those tabloid rumors around to something I do on purpose to make money is not only sick, but a sick lie.

Caroline and Jacqueline know full well that when magazines are publishing tons of stories about me and my marriage, eventually you’re going to want to put out your own actual interview where you clear things up for your fans. Like Lauren Manzo talked to US Weekly about her lap band surgery this week. That is not “putting out stories.” I explained that all in last week’s blog. And they know it. But to call doing an interview or photo shoot every so often the same as “putting out stories to the tabloids” about myself is twisted and untrue. I have never, Heaven as my witness, put out a single rumor story to any tabloid or blog about myself or anyone else. I know for a fact they can’t say the same thing… Some of them have RadarOnline on speed dial!But the lunacy! Here’s a great example: last week when Jacqueline was all shocked about my vow renewal story, and then wrote that I stole it from her to “outshine her.” Um, what? Jacqueline wasn’t asked to renew her vows for a magazine: she was going to renew them on her own, because she and Chris never had a real wedding (no comment as to why). She even went wedding dress shopping – you see her trying on veils in the opening credits! And I totally supported her doing it – I thought it would be so cute! Then she backed out and changed her mind. I was actually disappointed, because I thought it was a really exciting thing for her to do, that her kids would love being in the wedding, she didn’t have any wedding photos with a wedding dress on!

During that time, the stories about my own marriage were brutal, and I was asked to address them with a vow renewal in a magazine. I thought it would be a good thing to let my fans know we were OK, and for my girls to see and participate in; to see how much Joe and I still love each other. And when I found out, I told Jacqueline right away. I thought she’d be happy for me since my marriage was being scrutinized, and she’d changed her mind on her own vow renewals. I have no idea how she twists that into I stole her cover. Simply not true.

I also never, ever tweeted Danielle anything regarding Jacqueline’s daughter Ashley. I don’t know what she was talking about there. You all know I don’t go near any of the Holmes family, including crazy grandmas, on Twitter. The only time I’ve ever tweeted Danielle was after I was on WWHL. Here’s the story: Caroline was on WWHL the week before me (so two weeks before this episode) and Andy asked her who was worse: Danielle or Kim G? Caroline surprised the world when she said without hesitation, Kim G. was worse. Everyone was shocked, the blogs went crazy: didn’t Danielle do something super evil to Caroline’s family? How could that be worse than anything her SON’S FRIEND’S MOTHER ever did?You know Jacqueline watched it and read about it on the blogs. Where was the accusation that Caroline brought Danielle back from the dead? Because she did, not me. (PS: Caroline didn’t stop talking about Danielle then either. Two months later in October at the Real Housewives Live Tour in Atlantic City, Caroline told the audience that she’d rather deal with Danielle than Kim G. because “somewhere deep in Danielle, there’s a heart.” A heart? After what she did to your sister Dina, Caroline? Wow.)

A week later, I was on WWHL and Andy asked me what I thought of CAROLINE’S answer. So again, this Danielle thing is from Caroline. I said Danielle never really bothered me; it wasn’t my family she was going after. Well, Danielle, I guess sick of being talked about twice in two weeks on a show she’s not on anymore, tweeted Andy Cohen live to say oh yeah, I never did anything to Teresa? What about the time I worked with her sister-in-law Melissa behind her back? Um, what?!? News to me! Horrible, horrible news to me. You know the place I was in; you know how I felt having my family join the show behind my back for evil reasons. Now here I am, trying to make up with Melissa and forgive her, and I hear that? You saw some of the tweets on TV from that night, but I think you should see all of them.

From Danielle:
- “@bravoandy @bravotv is this true? Maybe I should show everyone what
@melissagorga wrote my fb inbox about Teresa?”
- “Wow careful now bc ive got emails from her own sisterinlaw w so
much Teresa dirt.”
- “@melissagorga Melissa Did you ever tell Teresa you were contacting
me constantly?”
- “@melissagorga did you tell tre you wanted to come on w me last
season To get back at her”
- “@melissagorga and everytime you & Tre’s brother begged me to come
on w me – I said no!”As soon as the show with Andy was over, I was shaking, but I’m sorry, I was happy to hear the truth. You can only be lied to for so long. Yes, I was mad, so from backstage I tweeted: “Thank you @daniellestaub for telling the truth. I'm sad but not surprised. :( #famewhore”. I didn’t mention Melissa’s name and left who I was calling the “fame whore” open on purpose, because I wasn’t sure. I figured I’d let whoever felt guilty claim the title. A super nice tweet? No. I’m not proud of it, but put yourself in my shoes if you just found that out about your sister-in-law contacting who she thought was your worst enemy. I could have typed much worse.

I felt bad though and realized that I didn’t want the public seeing my family divided, and that maybe Danielle was full of crap, so I immediately defended Melissa and called out Danielle with this tweet: “I don't believe Melissa would ever talk to @daniellestaub. Danielle, stop tweeting about my family. If you got something, show it or STFU!"

Melissa chimed in with this denial tweet: “Let's be clear. After I posted abt the xmas cookies incident on FB she approached me to film w/ her. Did I film? No! Begged her? Please” Danielle shot back with: “oh she cannot lie out of this - she knows it and this is just the mild stuff she really had it in for tre.” Danielle also tweeted that Melissa was the one who told her about my nephew in the hospital because “how else would I know?” Good point, how would she?

So, is Danielle lying? I didn’t know at that point, but I left it with a smack down on Danielle to just shut up. Then I show up at Jacqueline’s Baileys & Bash Fest 2011 and I’m attacked for contacting Danielle. First Jacqueline cries that if I were any kind of friend, I would never have anything to do with Danielle. Um, I don’t. No mention here of Caroline, her actual sister-in-law’s involvement. Then Jacqueline confesses that she believes Melissa probably did contact Danielle, but so what. So what? Again, which is it? You’re freaking out that I would possibly answer her back, or you’re not bothered at all that your new friend Melissa has been in total contact with Danielle? Pick one!
But that’s the thing: Caroline and Jacqueline can’t pick one because they contradict themselves in every sentence. Caroline -– who conveniently stomped out of the darkness like Bigfoot to join the ambush –- says, “You never apologized to me for the cookbook.” I say, “Yes I did, several times.” Caroline answers, “Yeah, but they were empty apologies.” Caroline: “You said don’t be friends with Melissa and Kathy.” I denied it. She answers, “Of course you did, many times.” I call her out: “Really? I said, ‘Don’t be friends with them’?” Then Caroline changes her answer: “You never said it, but you meant it.” WTF? I didn’t apologize but I did… I said it, but I didn’t…

I realized right then a very simple but powerful truth: you can’t argue with crazy. When crazy invites crazier over, you should pack up and haul ass out of there.

Caroline is just full of crap, plain and simple. I have nothing more to say about her.
As far as Jacqueline goes, she is a really hard person to be good friends with because she is so unstable and moody. But I never thought her moods would turn crazy against me. She was screaming at me to “move on” and forgive Melissa for something evil that Melissa did two years ago, but guess what? I just found out about it a week earlier! Give me some time to process it! And I had already decided to and did publicly defend Melissa. How is it holding an old grudge when you just found out?

Let me see if I can use an analogy Jacqueline might understand: if you caught your husband flirting with your friend, you would be understandably crushed. Say you worked through it for months though and forgave him. Then you found out he really didn’t just flirt, he slept with her. Two years ago. Does your old forgiveness count? It was two years ago! Why should you care? You said you forgave him! Hypocrite! Um, I say would you care. And that your previous forgiveness doesn’t count because you didn’t know what you were forgiving. You need to work through the new offense that you just found out about. Right?

I knew Melissa joined the show behind my back with what I think are malicious intentions. I’m trying to work through it, but she’s giving me innocence and “Bravo just contacted me out of the blue.” Then I find out months later that Melissa had possibly sold her soul to the devil to bring me down. Game changer, yes?

If it were reversed and I had done that to Melissa, my brother would have had my head. If Jacqueline’s brother joined the show and trashed her, but claimed he joined it innocently, then she found out he’d been in contact with Danielle to do it, I think she’d probably go berserk. I’m just calming trying to process it.I’ll be honest, I really expected Jacqueline and Caroline to be on my side about Melissa’s harmful intentions when they found out Danielle was involved. Why wouldn’t they be, especially when they were just yelling at me for tweeting Danielle back? It makes no sense. Any friend (and all my other friends were!) would be outraged that Melissa had stooped so low. But instead, Jacqueline is defending Melissa, saying “so what?” and crying about how her feelings are hurt?

I’m tired of playing on Planet Jacqueline. I’m done with the crazy. Done, done, done.

I would never do anything to hurt or expose my friends or family, God’s honest truth. And I never have. Do I want to know what they’ve done to me so I can deal with it? Of course. Would I be crushed if some of their evil plots and secrets were exposed? I wish I could say yes, but truth be told, I’m not sure I wouldn’t be a little happy. Sorry, but I am human, and they’ve all hurt me very deeply. But their “exposing” won’t come from me, ever. I believe you get back what you put into the world, and I’m only putting out positive things.

You’ll see in the next episode that Melissa makes a surprising confession, and my brother and I come to an unexpected agreement. Giant shocker and small miracles, all in one.
Thank you all for supporting me on my book tour! I love, love, love meeting you all! Visit my website for my current schedule: www.teresagiudice.com. Fabulicious: Fast & Fit! is available in bookstores everywhere and on Amazon.

And follow me on Facebook or Twitter @Teresa_Giudice to let me know what you think about the episode, the betrayals, and how you would have handled it. I read every comment (haters are pretty quickly blocked though), and live for your wisdom and inspiration! My fans are the best!

Tanti Baci,
Teresa xx

Amber: I Felt I Like I Was Being Hazed

Amber Marchese dishes on her experience this season on #RHONJ.

We made it Housewife friends! As it was my rookie season, I felt like I was being hazed in a sorority, but as hard as it was, I made it! I learned so much about how strong I am as a person and some areas that I can work on. I learned that I really do have a “no surrender, never retreat” mentality. I will go to bat with anyone, at any time, and will defend myself and my family at all cost. I also witnessed the undying love that my husband has for me and his family. He was not going to let anyone hurt me and will unleash hell if someone tries. He is truly my modern day Spartan warrior. 

I am so blessed to have shared my experience and struggles with breast cancer -- the timing of my five year mark, the photo shoot, and growing my hair for five years then cutting it for charity -- it was nothing short of a miracle that the Bravo was able to catch that all. It was just meant to be and God was truly working his wonders. Cutting my hair was completely symbolic for me, since cancer no longer defines me. I will never forget, however the pain, fear, and anxiety is in my rear view mirror now. I can sometimes look back to remind myself where I came from, but it in no way defines my future. It is my promise to all of you, I will never take that for granted, especially knowing that there are thousands struggling with cancer every day. 

On to my perspective on the season finale! I am not quite sure why the twins make it a point to confront others in front of large crowds. As Teresa said, they had two weeks to call her and speak to her about what Victoria Gotti had said to us. If they had an issue or wanted an apology, so be it, but what ever happened to being a civilized human being and picking up the phone to call? They did the same thing to me. Two weeks went by without any phone call from them. In fact, they never returned any of my phone calls or texts! They decided to make a scene in front of an entire party. Difference is, this was at a charity event with children in ear shot. Can you blame me for not wanting to bring my babies to this event? I would have absolutely loved my children sashaying down the runway, but there is absolutely no way I would EVER allow my babies to hear what went on. I spoke with Teresa and I knew the twins never called her. So I knew exactly what was brewing, so did Dina. My children come first and mama was protecting her children. Dina was brazen enough to kick Jim and me out of the Florida home for less of an offense, why wasn’t Dina kicking the twins out because they were making a scene at her own charity function for children?! Can we say double standard? Where were her “heads rolling” that she claimed would happen if someone started anything at a Ladybug event? 

I will add that I completely understand how hurt the twins are. I can understand their anger. However, I cannot understand their way of handling conflict. That level of “hot headedness,” I would think, cools down at a certain age as we tend to calm ourselves, think clearly, and with wisdom. It is a level of discernment that should happen after a certain age or experience in life. 

Dina claims to be Teresa’s friend of 25 years, but does not back up her friend at all. If that was my friend, like Christine or Angelia, whom I have been friends for just as long, the twins would not have gotten to the letter T in stupid before I would be dragging them out of the event by their ears. Dina doesn’t have to agree with her best friend, but she should also never allow someone to call her friend of 25 years stupid, at her own charity function no less. Especially knowing what her friend is going through, which pales in comparison to some stupid rumor.

Since Dina has unwarranted venom towards my husband and has completely snubbed him for his previous contributions to The Ladybug Project, I am going to thank him on their behalf for coming up with the idea of the children's fashion show, as well as the connection to East Coast Stars. Since Jim did not attend, he also made a sizable cash donation on behalf of our family. Jim had also worked hard before all the drama to make sure Ladybug even had a venue with all costs covered, including food and beverage. The venue was ultimately not chosen, but Jim had still worked hard to give Dina an option for the event. Instead she chooses to focus on Jim’s comment about her IQ after she interrogated him at an extremely inappropriate, charged moment right after his wife was attacked. Despite her inappropriateness, Jim still ended up apologizing to her. However in my opinion she should have apologized to him for being so glaringly insensitive. 

It may seem as if my perspective is harsh for an end of season blog, LOL! But it is what I was feeling at the time. I owe it to you all to give you my honest interpretation of it. However, at the end of the season, I came out having a certain amount of respect for all of these ladies. Being on a reality show is hard; it pushes us to our limits and it is nothing short of psychological warfare. I truly hope you will support all of us, equally. Teams are good, and appreciated; however, keep the hate towards other Housewives out of it. Perspective are OK, different points of view are what make the world go round, however, when your perspective rises to a level of cruelty, it takes the fun out of our jobs. Allow us to be ourselves, with the good moments and even the moments when we could have handled ourselves a little better. At the end of the day, the Housewives are girlfriends that have strong personalitiesand disagreements -- we love, we hate, and we make up. That’s life. 

I have would like to thank: Denee Lockhart, Amy Malkoff, J. Vincent Jewelers, Cate Scaglione Photography, Castle Couture, Action Media Productions, Elinet Cakes, Christine’s Restaurant, Historical Names, East Coast Stars, Zaboyon, Greenhouse Flowers, Johnny Donavan PR, Anthony Palmieri stylist, Tony Bowls evening wear, and finally, my husband Jim and my mom, Pamula Aguero. 

It was an amazing experience that I would not change for the world. I want to thank all of you for you love and support. This was a wild ride. 

Many blessings to all!

Amber Marchese