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The Real Larpers of New Jersey

Episode 8: Bravotv.com's Associate Editor thinks the show could use some more role playing action.

It was an episode full of fights, fears, and talking dogs (we'll get to that). And now we're finally starting to get the answers to all of those questions left over from the Season 3 reunion. Thank goodness! I think we've waited long enough.

No. 3 - A Ping Pong Ball of Emotions

Oh Kathy. Jersey's most sensitive soul is troubled (understandably so) by the latest tabloid story that Teresa may have to go to jail. Although Kathy wants to reach out and be there for Teresa, she's just not sure that her concern will be well received. Again, understandable given their past history, which was so conveniently reviewed in this montage.

I'm hoping she does end up taking Melissa's advice and having a little "talk stoop" with Teresa. It's about time these cousins made up. Think of how magical a cannoli collaboration between these two could be!

Also what was with that long pause during her interview? It went on for hours.

Kathy vs Teresa
No. 2 - The Great Escape

While all the drama was unfolding between Teresa, Caroline, and Jacqueline, you may have missed one of the most pivotal scenes in the show's history -- Santino's attempt to escape! Luckily we here at Bravotv.com managed to capture this footage and get the 411 right from the horse's, err, dog's mouth.

Santino (Jacqueline's adorable Cavalier King Charles Spaniel) has evidently been suffering in silence for years, hoping for a way out of all this RHONJ madness. Imagine all the screaming as heard by a dog's super sensitive ears. Torture! And as Santino points out, he's been dealing with the 'Wives in dog years. That's 28 years of table flipping and weave pulling.

Unfortunately for Santino (but luckily for us) he was captured before he could escape the confines of Franklin Lakes. Maybe Santino should be the mediator for all the ladies. How can you argue with a cute puppy who has a no-nonsense attitude?
Stuck in The Real Housewives of New Jersey
No. 1 - The Real Larpers of New Jersey

Well we all knew this was coming, but who knew it would happen so soon? The Caroline/Teresa turmoil finally boiled over, and now their reunion rumble from Season 3 is starting to make sense.

Now like any Jersey fight, it was pretty rough. You know it's bad when Caroline confronts someone, and Teresa isn't exactly one to back down. This was definitely a clash of the titans, but luckily no lightning bolts (or tables) were thrown.

However the best part of all this hubbub was when Teresa proclaimed, "Are these bitches really role playing?" This of course conjured up some stellar images in my mind. Could you imagine Caroline and Jaqueline larping (live action role playing for those of you who haven't encountered this uber-nerdiness before)? I would love for this entire scene to have happened while they were dressed up as over-the-top anime characters. Or even in some medieval Dungeons and Dragons garb. Combine that with the faux-English accents from last week, and this could become the most amazing show that ever existed.
There is No More Friendship
Next week it looks like Jacqueline's reached the end of her rope with Teresa as well.
Hurt and Disappointed

How to Watch

Watch The Real Housewives of New Jersey Season 14 premiere May 5th at 8/9c on Bravo and stream next day on Peacock.

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