Kim D: "Maybe that's when she went from whorin' again to born again?"

Dina Manzo: "If you ever write something bad about me in your book, I'll f--- you up."

Chris Laurita: "You kiss me, mother f---er."

Kathy Wakile: "I'm no stranger to a drink or two...or three."

Joe Gorga: "Looking like a black condom made me horny."

Greg Bennett: "I am Sandra Bullock in Speed right now"

Kathy Wakile: "Sometimes I see really skinny girls. They may look great, but...they're not happy. Have a cupcake."

Albie Manzo: "I've got a certain type of person I know how to sell to, Greg's just happens to be Patti LaBelle."

Greg Bennett: "What, are you Clara Barton taking care of injured women on the battlefield?"

Kathy Wakile: "First rule of thumb: remember the bitch's name."

Jacqueline's friend, Heather: "F--- it!"

Teresa Giudice: "Are these bitches really role playing?"

Caroline Manzo: "Shut up. You and your hat shut up."

Caroline Manzo: "Caroline Manzo doesn't wear hats."

Chris Manzo: "I love Kathy Wakile. We say she's made of porcelain, rainbows, and a child's laughter."

Kathy Wakile: "I'm pissed because I made some potato salad, macaroni salad, and some lemon ice and everyone flaked out on me."

Rosie Pierri: "I'll throw yous right into the lagoon, I swear to God."

Albie Manzo: "Ashlee thinks she's Ke$ha. She has Ke$ha music playing in her head."