Cast Blog: #RHONJ

Joe Isn't "Whipped"

Melissa opens up about her marriage and the argument with Joe.

Hello, again! Hope everyone is planning a fun July 4th weekend. I’m going to be in Orlando, Florida for the holiday. I’ve got a big performance with the Jonas Brothers. I’ll be singing my new single “Never Let Me Go” in front of over 150,000 people! I’m rehearsing my butt off, believe me. If you’re near Altamont Springs, come by.
 
I got a little choked up watching the scene in this week’s episode with me and Antonia talking in my bedroom while I was working on Love Italian Style. I’m proud that she sees me writing a book about having a great marriage. I really do plan on giving her a copy on her wedding day. The advice about how to have a traditional-yet-modern marriage will totally hold up for Antonia, and for her own daughters one day. I’m just so excited that my love story -- good, bad, and sexy -- is going to be in print in only a couple of months!
 
My mother, aunt and sisters brought me old photos to put in my book. I’m grateful for that, and for their being understanding about my decision to tell the whole story about my childhood and my father. If at any point my mother said, “I forbid you to talk about it on camera or write about it,” you would not be seeing or reading a word on the subject. It would not have come up. But my mother gave me her blessing. My family supports me in what I’m trying to do. It’s not always comfortable or easy to speak the truth. But it is necessary and important for me to do it in my book.If I hear the phrase “pu--- whipped” one more time, I’m going to have to break something. A whipped man would never call out his wife if he thought she did something wrong. Joe wasn’t happy about my Chanel bag tweet. Meanwhile, anyone who says he never sticks up for his sister should be eating their words right now. In my own defense, I posted it in reaction to Teresa retweeting a link to a nasty blog about me. I was pissed off, and I impulse tweeted in retaliation. We’re constantly going tit for tat, and we’ll never get anywhere that way. Joe told me I was wrong to do it, and I agreed with my husband. I shouldn’t stoop to her level. It only gives her something to complain about. 
 
That’s our marriage in a nutshell. Joe will defend me to anyone. But when we’re alone, if one of us has a problem with something the other did -- even something as minor as tweet -- we talk it out. Sometimes, we yell it out. Joe and I have a real marriage. We argue. We struggle. We don’t put on an act like we’re happy and laughing all the time. That’s not who we are, or what we want to represent.

When Joe said, “My parents look at you like you’re the devil,” it bothered me. What Joe was trying to explain was that his parents were constantly only hearing one side of the story. We try our hardest not to get them involved. And Joe was starting to feel that his parents were getting a twisted vision of our marriage. After the fight with Teresa at Gia’s party and Joe’s argument with Teresa at the gym, we've had them over for dinner since and made sure they're not upset, which I mentioned last week.
 
Re: mind f---ing, I don’t take that back. I do think Teresa was up to something. She said things to Joe about me behind my back. Last year, it was that I would leave him for a richer man. This year, it’s that he’s pussy whipped. Anyone would look at this situation and think, “She’s trying to break them up.” Why does she do it? Joe and I have three kids. We have a life together. Why would his sister intentionally cause tension between us? I certainly haven’t tried to cause tension in her marriage. She said I controlled my husband. Why is she worried about that at all? I just don’t get it, and I’m fed up with the negativity.
 
I thought it was revealing that while Joe was sticking up for Teresa, she and her husband were laughing about Joe in public. That soccer mom’s face said it all. It was shocking and gross -- but typical for them.
She said that if Joe agreed with me, he had to be brainwashed. That’s a harsh comment. Does she really think Joe isn’t in his right mind because he loves me? Or that I’ve got him under a spell? He’s just being a good, loving husband! No witchcraft. No voodoo. I don’t think Teresa can wrap her mind around that. He’s not a cult victim. He’s in a healthy marriage based on mutual respect, trust, and affection. Breaking news: When a husband treats his wife well, it does NOT mean he’s been mentally tampered with.
 
Kathy and Rich have a real marriage. They’re having a power struggle at the moment. I’ve been through something similar. It took time and effort to strike a good balance. I know Kathy and Rich will work it all out.
How much do we love Chris Manzo? He cracks me up. He doesn’t want any kids? Famous last words! I bet he’ll wind up with five of them.
 
The scene with Jacqueline and Nicholas was really hard to watch. As Joe put it, “God bless this woman.” She’s an inspiration.
 
Rosie and Joe’s conversation was an eye-opener. No sex for six years, Rosie? We’re going to have to fix you up! Obviously, these two cousins have a lot in common. They’re passionate, love to laugh, have strong opinions and are not susceptible to brain washing. Rosie and Teresa’s conversation was very . . . loud. I do agree with something Rosie said -- we should be lifting each other up, not bringing each other down. Clearly, we’ve got a lot of work to do.

 
XO,
Melissa
 
Please check out my website for all my appearances and my performance schedule. Follow me on Twitter and Instagram. And preorder my book Love Italian Style, out officially on September 17, 2013. You’re just going to love it!

Amber: Is Dina Coldhearted?

Amber Marchese dishes on her first reunion and why Dina Manzo confuses her.

Hello Housewife friends!  Welcome to the jungle baby! My first reunion was a wild ride. Call me sick and twisted, but I had an unbelievable time at the reunion when most, I have been warned, dread it. I felt like it was “The Great Purge” and when I went home I was felt relieved of any built up tension. I don’t care if anyone has a grudge against me, my slate is clean and I harbor no ill feelings towards anyone. I love to argue my point, and I truly stood by all of my convictions this season, so I was ready to say exactly what was on my mind, and then some. 

I know the twins and I went at one another pretty hard, but that is what the reunion is all about. It is an opportunity to get it all out and potentially understand one another's position better. Then we can each make our own decisions as to where we want to go with our relationships. I am very much the type of person that can say some of the meanest things and sling mud, but hug it out at the end forgetting anything negative that was said. It just rolls off my back. I actually think it is healthier to say what needs to be said, and then move on.

One thing I did question after the reunion was if Dina actually has a heart or if I should start calling her the Tin Man. I actually have not figured her out yet. Is she really just a coldhearted bitch, or has she been hurt so many times that she has become warped and jaded. I feel I don’t owe anyone any reason as to why I call cancer “the cancer,” but I will give it once more anyhow. “The cancer” is “the monster” to me. It is a way for me to take away its power and to minimize it. “It” destroys lives, so “it” does not deserve a name. It is just “the cancer” -- it was “the monster” or “the dragon.” Although Dina claims to have an understanding of how devastating cancer is to a family, her actions and blatant lack of empathy proves otherwise.

In addition, I did not think it was appropriate for me to interject into family quarrels at the reunion; however, this is something that I feel strongly about. I have met Jaqueline and I have spoken to her on many occasions. In the very short time that I have gotten to know Jaqueline, I know and have empathy with the struggles she has caring for Nicholas. I felt that Dina’s interpretation of her nephew was callous and completely out of touch with reality. The only thing that keeps playing in my mind is, "You know nothing John Snow."  No, thank God, he is not hooked up to machines with cancer; however, what the Laurita family goes through is extremely difficult on a day to day basis that will continue on for a lifetime. It is emotionally and financially devastating. Although, Dina "visits" children with cancer, at the end of her visit she gets to go home, leaving it behind and goes on with her daily life. Since Dina does work with children with cancer, I pray that she can abstain from a self-absorbed lifestyle and become a loving, involved aunt.