Melissa Gorga

Melissa responds to some of the negative criticism regarding 'Love Italian Style'.

on Sep 30, 2013

Hi, everyone! What a week. The finale episode was only part of the excitement. My book Love Italian Style has been out for over ten days now, and it’s making headlines. Some of the content is controversial to say the least. At first, I was upset that a website accused me and Joe of horrible, disgusting things. But now I see it as an opportunity to further explain my philosophy about marriage.

Regarding the quote in the book about Joe saying every woman wants to have her hair pulled and clothes ripped off sometimes: First if all, it's not meant to read literally. Joe would be in serious trouble if he tore my clothes! His point is that women like feeling taken -- within the trust and safety of a mutually respectful relationship. Fans of Fifty Shades of Grey can attest that there's a difference between racy and “rapey.” When Joe and I talk about dominance and submission, it's racy. It's about a man being a man, a woman being a woman, a man taking charge and a woman letting it happen -- consensually! There are times I play hard to get, and Joe knows those signals. But when I am not in the mood, Joe doesn’t force me to do ANYTHING. In the Jezebel article, the reporter failed to quote another line from the book when Joe says, “She’s not in mood to have sex? How about a three-minute massage instead? Men need to be touched. Skin on skin. A kiss, a hug, a massage. That’s enough on some nights.” Or when Joe wrote “My wife is my life. I live to make her happy. I like it when she tells me what she wants.

When I refuse my husband, I do it nicely. I don’t slap his hand and say, “Get away from me.” The article took me to task for this. How can anyone find fault in showing kindness? I just don’t get it. I should make my husband feel like a pervert for wanting me? What purpose would that serve? Hey, I’m a nice person. I say “no” with kindness. Ladies, you won’t go to your grave wishing you’d humiliated your husband more often. I never regret being kind, to anyone, at any time, especially my husband.