Hello Baby Dolls!
Last week's episode got me all fired up, but I'm not going to beat a dead horse. It is really frustrating to watch the episodes sometimes -- it's hard to relive things and hard to see what other people say behind your back. But we move forward!
I loved seeing my brother and husband joking around and hanging out like they have since we were kids. They have a long history together and my Joe was the big brother that Joey never had long before we were married. Great to see all the guys getting along and enjoying the resort.
Zen tennis wasn't very zen for me because I'm too competitive. I think we all are! And I've never played tennis before in my entire life. Swear! But it was fun and great exercise -- a full body workout! I really like it. Maybe when Audriana goes to school, I'll take lessons or something.
The high wire test.... O. M. G. I have never been so scared in my whole life. It is so much harder than it looks. You stand on the ground and watch someone and you're thinking, "Just walk faster!" but when you get up there. First, it's really high up, and even though you know you have a safety harness on, you can't really feel it until you fall. So when you're walking up there you don't have that safety pressure holding you up. All you can see is the damn, hard ground! And the wires move like crazy. The muscles in your legs are burning so badly just to try and find your balance and then the other person with you moves and throws you off and you're supposed to walk! The only way to really do it is to zone out, forget about the ground and the wire and just go. And if you have someone you can really connect with and look into their eyes, that's what you do, you distract each other and encourage each other. It was a very cool experience and I'm very glad I did it.It was great to watch everyone try it in different combinations. I think my favorite was Joe and Rosie! I didn't want anyone to miss out on it so I was trying to get Caroline and Melissa up there. I'm glad Melissa finally did!
The high wire thing was exhausting, and I was so looking forward to just relaxing and having a drink that night. I should have known that was never going to happen as soon as I saw Caroline wearing that Karma sweatshirt from the gift shop! We were all in a good place, we'd done therapy in Lake George with Dr. V, we'd worked out physically in Arizona, I just wanted to relax a little and enjoy my friends and family. I'm not sure why Caroline was so interested in stirring things up again. I didn't want to. Not because I don't want to get everything out, but we'd been doing that for months! Sometimes you have to move on to heal. If you keep opening old wounds, they will never heal. You have to stop picking.When Caroline doesn't want to talk about her family issues, I respect that. I wish she would respect my wishes. It's not my place to butt into how she deals with her family issues, and I don't think it's her place to butt into mine, especially when we're good!
I hate seeing my brother so upset about rumors. That's another reason I didn't want to bring everything up again. We've all faced terrible rumors. Every husband in that room has had to hear bad things about his wife. Some husbands (and moms!) have to see those rumors on the front cover of magazines every time they go to the grocery store. We've all learned though that the best way to deal with it is to ignore it especially when the rumors are ridiculous. If you don't give a fire air, it goes out. The more attention you give to a rumor, the less likely that it will die. That's what we were trying to tell Joey, just ignore it. If you spend all your time and energy trying to hunt down every rumor in the world when you're on TV, you will not have a happy life.
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