Cast Blog: #RHONJ

Melissa's Meddling

Amber Calls Out Andy Cohen

Dina: What am I Doing Here?

Amber: Is Dina Coldhearted?

Dina: "The Reunion was Very Hard to Watch"

Teresa: We Love Hard, We Fight Hard

Dina: The Ladybug Event was Perfection

Amber: I Felt I Like I Was Being Hazed

Melissa: Continue to Pray for Teresa's Family

Why Amber Shares Her Cancer Story

Dina: I Was Team Santa

Teresa: I Don't Blame Jim

Bobby's Unacceptable Behavior

Amber: Dina is Jealous

Melissa: "We are Heartbroken"

Dina Reacts to the Sentencing

Kathy Talks Kevin Jonas

Amber: Dina Was Planning a Blood Bath

Jim and Amber Were on Different Pages

Dina on Bobby's "Bizarre" Behavior

Amber Calls BS on Dina

Nicole: Words are So Powerful

Teresa: "Kudos to Dina!"

Teresa: I Love the Show, I Love My Fans

Praying for a Positive Outcome for Teresa

"Tipsy Melissa is My Spirit Animal"

Dina's Lose-Lose Situation

Jacqueline on Her Status with Teresa

Why Teresa Told Dina the Rumor

Amber on Her Cancer Scare

Teresa: There was an Agenda to Hurt My Family

Melissa: I Do Feel for Amber

Dina: Gia's Beautiful Inside and Out

Nicole: This is Not 'Jerry Springer'

Amber on Her Meltdown with Teresa

Amber's Emotional Call to Teresa

Teresa Thanks the Fans

Dina: Florida Will Be the New Scary Island

Teresa: I Wish I Never Heard the Rumor

Amber on the Shocking Rino Rumor

Victoria Gotti's Big No No

Melissa's Meddling

Teresa wishes Melissa would have let her talk to her brother without interference.

Hi Loveys!
 
First I have to tell you, from the bottom of my heart, how much I appreciate you all. I see your Tweets and messages and emails defending me and my family. (Unlike Melissa and Kathy I guess, I do read Twitter!) I love how smart and sweet and loyal and fair you all are. I love that my fans like @Team_Giudice say that they love Melissa because she's the mother of my niece and nephews even if they don't agree with her all the time. I feel the same way! Thank you all for seeing the bigger picture, for seeing through the hypocrisy, for calling out what you know is the truth, and for being kind and classy. I know you are because I have met you all over the country and my fans are always the same: AMAZING.
 
I have no idea why some of my own family members said the things they did on this episode. It's beyond hurtful. Kids are supposed to be off limits, but they talk about mine. Marriages are supposed to be off limits, but they talk about mine. As much as Melissa likes to talk to everyone about me trying to break up her marriage, I have never, ever done that and I never would. I've always said the opposite and I'll say it again: I hope they stay married for a hundred years because they're my family and parents of my niece and nephews.
 
Melissa knows I've never tried to, so instead she complains I sit and listen to people talking bad about her so instead she complains I sit and listen to people talking badly about her when she knew very well I had nothing to do with it. She claims she hears rumors about me doing things to hurt her, but when you go and talk to anyone in our town -- my friends, Kim D., Melissa's "old friends," even Melissa's ex-boss and ex-boyfriend -- they will tell you it's not true. I have nothing to do with digging up dirt on her. For one, I could care less about her past. For two, I am busy raising 4 daughters, writing 4 cookbooks, and running my Fabellini, Milania hair products, Skinny Italian Food, and Fabulicious dessert line! Busy! It is interesting that this episode was filmed this winter, and this spring we all filmed with Andy Cohen for the WWHL special. Melissa was again crying that I was trying to break up her marriage (I guess I should be glad that that rumor is the only thing she can come up with about me, right?) and told Andy that you don't mess with anyone's marriage. That was a line she wouldn't cross. Wow. Yet she crossed it this episode. Like ran across it with a Mack truck. How could she sit there with a straight face and tell Andy she would never do that when she had JUST done it? I shouldn't be surprised because I know her, but I am. I was surprised and sickened by what she said about my marriage. And she did it, trashed me and my marriage on national TV, while she was supposedly writing her own advice book about marriage? She is very, very lucky that I'm keeping quiet about the things I do know. Let's just say if you believe one word out of Melissa's mouth about anything, I'm sure she has a bridge she can sell you too. God Bless you both.
 
I know I don't have to defend myself about my marriage. Joe and I love each other and we have a very happy, not perfect, real marriage, just like anyone. Everyone who knows and loves me -- even if you've just met me and Joe for five minutes -- knows that. And everyone who knows and loves me are the only people that matter to me!
 
I arranged the retreat for everyone so we could all heal. All of us. Rosie thought it was a good idea to invite Jacqueline and Caroline because they were part of it. Jacqueline was an important part because she had been my close friend for 10 years. So when she snapped last year and decided to turn against me and hate me and say crazy things about me, some people listened because she had been my friend for so long (which is also why the betrayal hurt so badly). We all know Melissa was desperate to prove I had something to do with the "set-up" at the fashion show so she could focus on me instead of what whoever was trying to expose about her. Again, I could care less what she did or didn't do in the past, but it wasn't me. And she keeps trying to beat an apology out of me. I'm sorry but I can't apologize for something I didn't do.
 
Kim D. explained very clearly to everyone a million times that Melissa was going after her business and her livelihood, so she was mad at Melissa and allowed someone Melissa used to work with to approach her. Melissa was mad at Kim, Kim was mad at Melissa. They tried to hurt each other. Kim apologized, and Melissa and my brother apologized to Kim. It should have been a done deal then, right?
 
Except Jacqueline got involved. Jacqueline told my brother that it really was me. And for some reason I will never understand, my only brother, my own flesh and blood, chose to believe Jacqueline over me. I know this because he told me. He told me what Jacqueline said, that he believed her, and then texted me, "You're dead to me." And we didn't speak for a YEAR following that. Not over the holidays, not through the hurricane, nothing. So, yes, I blamed Jacqueline. Why wouldn't I? She knows she was lying, she knows her words had power because she was my friend, and she told my brother anyway. And Jacqueline, this is for you: I hate to bring this all up again, but I want people to understand how I was feeling at the time, and I want you to understand too. If I told your brother something about his wife that was dirty, and then he texted you, "You're dead to me," you would be upset too. I know we've moved past it, and I'm very happy for that. I love you and your family.
 
So when we got together to heal after a year of not talking, I did want Jacqueline to be there so she could look my brother in the eye and tell him I didn't have anything to do with it.
 
I'll admit, I didn't want her there at first. I was so hurt by Jacqueline, but Rosie convinced me it was a good idea to invite Jacqueline and Caroline. So I made plans for them to be there. And they were supposedly coming. No one told me they weren't going to come until the rest of them walked through the door. It hurt me because I was planning for it, and I really thought they could help.
 
And then for Kathy to suggest that Jacqueline was far too busy taking care of her sick child was too much for me. I know Jacqueline had her hands full with Nicholas, but not so much that she can't still be involved in my life, as we all see on Twitter. I wasn't buying that as an excuse and neither was Joe. When Joe said that Autism won't kill you and that scientists had it, he wasn't being disrespectful, he was just trying to put things into perspective. Yes, Autism is a serious learning and communication condition, yes it's a struggle, and it can be heartbreaking, but it's not a fatal disease. Thank God! There is a huge difference between caring for a child with cancer or kidney disease and caring for a child with Autism. We have other friends, like our friends at NephCure who we see all the time, who aren't as lucky. Kidney disease can kill you. Cancer can kill you. God willing, Nicholas will get better and grow up to have a healthy, normal life. Maybe even be a scientist! Whoever knows my husband knows he's not malicious. Jacqueline and Chris, you know Joe would never mean anything bad about Nicholas. He has a special place in both of our hearts.

So back to the retreat... I was really nervous especially when everyone arrived and it seemed like everyone except Rosie really didn't want to be there. I could tell their hearts were not open and it broke mine. I wondered why they even came at all.
 
I thought the team builders were adorable, and they did get us trusting and laughing pretty quickly. But then it went downhill. I finally had my brother face-to-face for the first time in a year, and all I wanted to do was get him to believe me over Jacqueline. That was my "blood over water" speech, I wasn't talking about Melissa. P.S. When I joked about ghosts in the castle and said we had a "witch" coming, I was also talking about Jacqueline, not Melissa. Not nice, I know, but I was upset, it was a joke, and Jacqueline wasn't joking with her rants about me on Twitter... Put yourself in my shoes. I don't think it's the worst thing I could have said.But every time I tried to get through to Joey, Melissa would whisper in his ear. At one point, she stepped right in front of me to contradict me and bring Joey "back to her." It was beyond frustrating. We weren't there talking about him and Melissa or their marriage or me and Melissa. We were supposed to be talking about me and him.
 
Maybe if Melissa got on her knees in front of me before this point, we wouldn't have any of these problems! If she was only that humble normally... Needless to say, her big dramatic pose had nothing to do with being humble or serious. She only did it to make me look bad. And it did make me mad, but I held it together. In real life...


 
What else? I really hate when Kathy speaks about my parents because she doesn't speak for them, and they have nothing to do with this. I don't agree with what she said. Both of us know the true situation. Let's leave it at that.

And I do really appreciate Rosie and her heart. She didn't sign up for this show, she was dragged into it. It put her in the middle, and of course she has to stick up for her sister, but I appreciate that she also sticks up for our whole family.I guess you'll have to tune in next week to see how it all plays out.

I'm just wrapping up my fourth national book tour for Fabulicious: On the Grill (http://amzn.to/RtCq8e). Thank you so much for supporting me! I love love love meeting you all!
 
Go to my website www.teresagiudice.com for my appearance schedule and info about Fabellini, the Milania Collection (www.milaniahaircare.com), and my new Skinny Italian Food line (www.skinnyitalianfood.com). Fabulicious! Desserts are coming soon! And I just posted new pics of some adorable mermaids I found lying on the beach...
 
Tanti Baci,
Teresa

Twitter: @Teresa_Giudice
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