Cast Blog: #RHONJ

Melissa's Meddling

Teresa wishes Melissa would have let her talk to her brother without interference.

Hi Loveys!
 
First I have to tell you, from the bottom of my heart, how much I appreciate you all. I see your Tweets and messages and emails defending me and my family. (Unlike Melissa and Kathy I guess, I do read Twitter!) I love how smart and sweet and loyal and fair you all are. I love that my fans like @Team_Giudice say that they love Melissa because she's the mother of my niece and nephews even if they don't agree with her all the time. I feel the same way! Thank you all for seeing the bigger picture, for seeing through the hypocrisy, for calling out what you know is the truth, and for being kind and classy. I know you are because I have met you all over the country and my fans are always the same: AMAZING.
 
I have no idea why some of my own family members said the things they did on this episode. It's beyond hurtful. Kids are supposed to be off limits, but they talk about mine. Marriages are supposed to be off limits, but they talk about mine. As much as Melissa likes to talk to everyone about me trying to break up her marriage, I have never, ever done that and I never would. I've always said the opposite and I'll say it again: I hope they stay married for a hundred years because they're my family and parents of my niece and nephews.
 
Melissa knows I've never tried to, so instead she complains I sit and listen to people talking bad about her so instead she complains I sit and listen to people talking badly about her when she knew very well I had nothing to do with it. She claims she hears rumors about me doing things to hurt her, but when you go and talk to anyone in our town -- my friends, Kim D., Melissa's "old friends," even Melissa's ex-boss and ex-boyfriend -- they will tell you it's not true. I have nothing to do with digging up dirt on her. For one, I could care less about her past. For two, I am busy raising 4 daughters, writing 4 cookbooks, and running my Fabellini, Milania hair products, Skinny Italian Food, and Fabulicious dessert line! Busy! It is interesting that this episode was filmed this winter, and this spring we all filmed with Andy Cohen for the WWHL special. Melissa was again crying that I was trying to break up her marriage (I guess I should be glad that that rumor is the only thing she can come up with about me, right?) and told Andy that you don't mess with anyone's marriage. That was a line she wouldn't cross. Wow. Yet she crossed it this episode. Like ran across it with a Mack truck. How could she sit there with a straight face and tell Andy she would never do that when she had JUST done it? I shouldn't be surprised because I know her, but I am. I was surprised and sickened by what she said about my marriage. And she did it, trashed me and my marriage on national TV, while she was supposedly writing her own advice book about marriage? She is very, very lucky that I'm keeping quiet about the things I do know. Let's just say if you believe one word out of Melissa's mouth about anything, I'm sure she has a bridge she can sell you too. God Bless you both.
 
I know I don't have to defend myself about my marriage. Joe and I love each other and we have a very happy, not perfect, real marriage, just like anyone. Everyone who knows and loves me -- even if you've just met me and Joe for five minutes -- knows that. And everyone who knows and loves me are the only people that matter to me!
 
I arranged the retreat for everyone so we could all heal. All of us. Rosie thought it was a good idea to invite Jacqueline and Caroline because they were part of it. Jacqueline was an important part because she had been my close friend for 10 years. So when she snapped last year and decided to turn against me and hate me and say crazy things about me, some people listened because she had been my friend for so long (which is also why the betrayal hurt so badly). We all know Melissa was desperate to prove I had something to do with the "set-up" at the fashion show so she could focus on me instead of what whoever was trying to expose about her. Again, I could care less what she did or didn't do in the past, but it wasn't me. And she keeps trying to beat an apology out of me. I'm sorry but I can't apologize for something I didn't do.
 
Kim D. explained very clearly to everyone a million times that Melissa was going after her business and her livelihood, so she was mad at Melissa and allowed someone Melissa used to work with to approach her. Melissa was mad at Kim, Kim was mad at Melissa. They tried to hurt each other. Kim apologized, and Melissa and my brother apologized to Kim. It should have been a done deal then, right?
 
Except Jacqueline got involved. Jacqueline told my brother that it really was me. And for some reason I will never understand, my only brother, my own flesh and blood, chose to believe Jacqueline over me. I know this because he told me. He told me what Jacqueline said, that he believed her, and then texted me, "You're dead to me." And we didn't speak for a YEAR following that. Not over the holidays, not through the hurricane, nothing. So, yes, I blamed Jacqueline. Why wouldn't I? She knows she was lying, she knows her words had power because she was my friend, and she told my brother anyway. And Jacqueline, this is for you: I hate to bring this all up again, but I want people to understand how I was feeling at the time, and I want you to understand too. If I told your brother something about his wife that was dirty, and then he texted you, "You're dead to me," you would be upset too. I know we've moved past it, and I'm very happy for that. I love you and your family.
 
So when we got together to heal after a year of not talking, I did want Jacqueline to be there so she could look my brother in the eye and tell him I didn't have anything to do with it.
 
I'll admit, I didn't want her there at first. I was so hurt by Jacqueline, but Rosie convinced me it was a good idea to invite Jacqueline and Caroline. So I made plans for them to be there. And they were supposedly coming. No one told me they weren't going to come until the rest of them walked through the door. It hurt me because I was planning for it, and I really thought they could help.
 
And then for Kathy to suggest that Jacqueline was far too busy taking care of her sick child was too much for me. I know Jacqueline had her hands full with Nicholas, but not so much that she can't still be involved in my life, as we all see on Twitter. I wasn't buying that as an excuse and neither was Joe. When Joe said that Autism won't kill you and that scientists had it, he wasn't being disrespectful, he was just trying to put things into perspective. Yes, Autism is a serious learning and communication condition, yes it's a struggle, and it can be heartbreaking, but it's not a fatal disease. Thank God! There is a huge difference between caring for a child with cancer or kidney disease and caring for a child with Autism. We have other friends, like our friends at NephCure who we see all the time, who aren't as lucky. Kidney disease can kill you. Cancer can kill you. God willing, Nicholas will get better and grow up to have a healthy, normal life. Maybe even be a scientist! Whoever knows my husband knows he's not malicious. Jacqueline and Chris, you know Joe would never mean anything bad about Nicholas. He has a special place in both of our hearts.

So back to the retreat... I was really nervous especially when everyone arrived and it seemed like everyone except Rosie really didn't want to be there. I could tell their hearts were not open and it broke mine. I wondered why they even came at all.
 
I thought the team builders were adorable, and they did get us trusting and laughing pretty quickly. But then it went downhill. I finally had my brother face-to-face for the first time in a year, and all I wanted to do was get him to believe me over Jacqueline. That was my "blood over water" speech, I wasn't talking about Melissa. P.S. When I joked about ghosts in the castle and said we had a "witch" coming, I was also talking about Jacqueline, not Melissa. Not nice, I know, but I was upset, it was a joke, and Jacqueline wasn't joking with her rants about me on Twitter... Put yourself in my shoes. I don't think it's the worst thing I could have said.But every time I tried to get through to Joey, Melissa would whisper in his ear. At one point, she stepped right in front of me to contradict me and bring Joey "back to her." It was beyond frustrating. We weren't there talking about him and Melissa or their marriage or me and Melissa. We were supposed to be talking about me and him.
 
Maybe if Melissa got on her knees in front of me before this point, we wouldn't have any of these problems! If she was only that humble normally... Needless to say, her big dramatic pose had nothing to do with being humble or serious. She only did it to make me look bad. And it did make me mad, but I held it together. In real life...


 
What else? I really hate when Kathy speaks about my parents because she doesn't speak for them, and they have nothing to do with this. I don't agree with what she said. Both of us know the true situation. Let's leave it at that.

And I do really appreciate Rosie and her heart. She didn't sign up for this show, she was dragged into it. It put her in the middle, and of course she has to stick up for her sister, but I appreciate that she also sticks up for our whole family.I guess you'll have to tune in next week to see how it all plays out.

I'm just wrapping up my fourth national book tour for Fabulicious: On the Grill (http://amzn.to/RtCq8e). Thank you so much for supporting me! I love love love meeting you all!
 
Go to my website www.teresagiudice.com for my appearance schedule and info about Fabellini, the Milania Collection (www.milaniahaircare.com), and my new Skinny Italian Food line (www.skinnyitalianfood.com). Fabulicious! Desserts are coming soon! And I just posted new pics of some adorable mermaids I found lying on the beach...
 
Tanti Baci,
Teresa

Twitter: @Teresa_Giudice
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Amber: I Felt I Like I Was Being Hazed

Amber Marchese dishes on her experience this season on #RHONJ.

We made it Housewife friends! As it was my rookie season, I felt like I was being hazed in a sorority, but as hard as it was, I made it! I learned so much about how strong I am as a person and some areas that I can work on. I learned that I really do have a “no surrender, never retreat” mentality. I will go to bat with anyone, at any time, and will defend myself and my family at all cost. I also witnessed the undying love that my husband has for me and his family. He was not going to let anyone hurt me and will unleash hell if someone tries. He is truly my modern day Spartan warrior. 

I am so blessed to have shared my experience and struggles with breast cancer -- the timing of my five year mark, the photo shoot, and growing my hair for five years then cutting it for charity -- it was nothing short of a miracle that the Bravo was able to catch that all. It was just meant to be and God was truly working his wonders. Cutting my hair was completely symbolic for me, since cancer no longer defines me. I will never forget, however the pain, fear, and anxiety is in my rear view mirror now. I can sometimes look back to remind myself where I came from, but it in no way defines my future. It is my promise to all of you, I will never take that for granted, especially knowing that there are thousands struggling with cancer every day. 

On to my perspective on the season finale! I am not quite sure why the twins make it a point to confront others in front of large crowds. As Teresa said, they had two weeks to call her and speak to her about what Victoria Gotti had said to us. If they had an issue or wanted an apology, so be it, but what ever happened to being a civilized human being and picking up the phone to call? They did the same thing to me. Two weeks went by without any phone call from them. In fact, they never returned any of my phone calls or texts! They decided to make a scene in front of an entire party. Difference is, this was at a charity event with children in ear shot. Can you blame me for not wanting to bring my babies to this event? I would have absolutely loved my children sashaying down the runway, but there is absolutely no way I would EVER allow my babies to hear what went on. I spoke with Teresa and I knew the twins never called her. So I knew exactly what was brewing, so did Dina. My children come first and mama was protecting her children. Dina was brazen enough to kick Jim and me out of the Florida home for less of an offense, why wasn’t Dina kicking the twins out because they were making a scene at her own charity function for children?! Can we say double standard? Where were her “heads rolling” that she claimed would happen if someone started anything at a Ladybug event? 

I will add that I completely understand how hurt the twins are. I can understand their anger. However, I cannot understand their way of handling conflict. That level of “hot headedness,” I would think, cools down at a certain age as we tend to calm ourselves, think clearly, and with wisdom. It is a level of discernment that should happen after a certain age or experience in life. 

Dina claims to be Teresa’s friend of 25 years, but does not back up her friend at all. If that was my friend, like Christine or Angelia, whom I have been friends for just as long, the twins would not have gotten to the letter T in stupid before I would be dragging them out of the event by their ears. Dina doesn’t have to agree with her best friend, but she should also never allow someone to call her friend of 25 years stupid, at her own charity function no less. Especially knowing what her friend is going through, which pales in comparison to some stupid rumor.

Since Dina has unwarranted venom towards my husband and has completely snubbed him for his previous contributions to The Ladybug Project, I am going to thank him on their behalf for coming up with the idea of the children's fashion show, as well as the connection to East Coast Stars. Since Jim did not attend, he also made a sizable cash donation on behalf of our family. Jim had also worked hard before all the drama to make sure Ladybug even had a venue with all costs covered, including food and beverage. The venue was ultimately not chosen, but Jim had still worked hard to give Dina an option for the event. Instead she chooses to focus on Jim’s comment about her IQ after she interrogated him at an extremely inappropriate, charged moment right after his wife was attacked. Despite her inappropriateness, Jim still ended up apologizing to her. However in my opinion she should have apologized to him for being so glaringly insensitive. 

It may seem as if my perspective is harsh for an end of season blog, LOL! But it is what I was feeling at the time. I owe it to you all to give you my honest interpretation of it. However, at the end of the season, I came out having a certain amount of respect for all of these ladies. Being on a reality show is hard; it pushes us to our limits and it is nothing short of psychological warfare. I truly hope you will support all of us, equally. Teams are good, and appreciated; however, keep the hate towards other Housewives out of it. Perspective are OK, different points of view are what make the world go round, however, when your perspective rises to a level of cruelty, it takes the fun out of our jobs. Allow us to be ourselves, with the good moments and even the moments when we could have handled ourselves a little better. At the end of the day, the Housewives are girlfriends that have strong personalitiesand disagreements -- we love, we hate, and we make up. That’s life. 

I have would like to thank: Denee Lockhart, Amy Malkoff, J. Vincent Jewelers, Cate Scaglione Photography, Castle Couture, Action Media Productions, Elinet Cakes, Christine’s Restaurant, Historical Names, East Coast Stars, Zaboyon, Greenhouse Flowers, Johnny Donavan PR, Anthony Palmieri stylist, Tony Bowls evening wear, and finally, my husband Jim and my mom, Pamula Aguero. 

It was an amazing experience that I would not change for the world. I want to thank all of you for you love and support. This was a wild ride. 

Many blessings to all!

Amber Marchese

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