Jennifer Aydin: Watching Margaret and Danielle Has Me on Pins and Needles

"It’s obvious to me that these two care about each other but have totally different approaches in how they express it."

Hatchets and visions and trips! Oh my! The hatchets were the highlight for me this time around. But before we get into all that, let me just say that I think Jackie is a great mom! Her kids are adorable and extremely polite which just validates what a great job she and Evan have done. I agree that parenting is a loaded question. She’s never going to make everyone happy — and sometimes she may deal with some backlash, but she’s a strong woman. I’m pretty sure she could handle it.

Now getting to Dolores and Frank. Frank is telling Dolores that she needs to have a “vision” for their decorating style but I think it’s pretty clear that Frank is the one with the vision — I mean, can we add "intuitive psychic" to his roster of capabilities?! He absolutely predicted that Margaret and Danielle's relationship will eventually come to blows. And how crazy is it that — that we see the beginning of that relationship unravel right after! Frank Catania has now become Frank “Can-tell-ya”! What do you see in the future for me, Frank? Is my husband going to have issues with me going on this trip? Lol!

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Watching Margaret and Danielle has me on pins and needles. Now, let me just say that I have mad love for Danielle! She’s an extremely passionate person. And hearing Danielle say that she wants to be able to be around her mutual friends without making any of the other girls feel uncomfortable is totally reasonable! But wanting Margaret to not be cordial or friends with someone that she’s not friends with? Completely unreasonable! I don’t think this “positive energy tea” is working! I’m impressed with how Margaret totally kept her composure. I’m sure Marge was super uncomfortable with Danielle’s behavior. I do believe that it wouldn’t have bothered Marge had it been the other way around. But not everyone is the same, and some people have different ways of dealing with their pain or anger. It’s obvious to me that these two care about each other but have totally different approaches in how they express it.

Time to throw the hatchet! It is definitely not as easy as it looks. As you can see, I decided to take matters into my own hands and cheat...although that didn’t work, either! I could not get that damned ax into to wood! And I do fluctuate with my weight constantly. I can write a book on diets at this point in my life. It’s just implementing a certain lifestyle. I don’t snack, I don’t drink soda, I barely drink coffee, I hardly drink alcohol. I eat two to three meals a day, and that’s it. But I do like food and I enjoy a good meal! So sue me! I want to have my cake and to eat it too...literally! I’m thinking working out might be a good idea. LOL! I’m throwing the hatchet to making excuses!

I was born in Flushing, Queens, but I grew up in Plainview, Long Island. My parents and older brother still live in the house that I grew up in. My dad and my brother own a jewelry store in Woodbury called John Michaels (my dad's name is John, my brother's name is Michael). I still visit every now and again and bring my kids to the jewelry store where everyone pitches in and helps customers. I love my family, and I love my husband!

I know you all see how I live now, but it wasn’t always like that. It took a lot of time to get where we are. He was a resident at St. Vincent's in Manhattan and if you know what a resident makes, let’s just say I know how to make the most of a dollar! We were constantly moving for his job and we finally set a foundation here in Jersey eight years ago. My husband is an extremely hard worker. He is not only devoted to his own practice but also to the multiple hospitals where he still takes calls. I didn’t even have a nanny until I had my fourth baby, Christian. It was then that I realized that I just couldn’t do it alone anymore, especially since they were so close in age. At that time, we were living in River Edge. When my parents and siblings would come and visit me from Long Island, they would always sleep over. So, when we decided to build the next home (and hopefully the last), we knew we had to build it so it could accommodate our lifestyle.

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My house took three years to build. It has nine bedrooms. The architect told me that for resale purposes and to sustain its value, it would be best if all the bedrooms had their own bathrooms while the master has two, so that’s 10 right out the door. So the other six remaining for the rest of the house, seeing that it is four floors, is really not that excessive! There’s one on the basketball court floor, one in the spa in the basement, one in the common area of the basement, one in my husband's office, and two on the first floor! After you take away the bathrooms that are allocated for the bedrooms, it’s really not that much!

And yes, it’s true — ever since I got married, I have never been away without my husband or my kids. I’ve gone away with my husband before and left the kids behind, and I’ve even gone away with my children to visit family in California while leaving my husband behind. But I’ve never had an opportunity to go away with girlfriends ever since I got married. It’s not that we don’t allow each other to do it, it’s just that the opportunity never presented itself. It’s just not something that’s normal for us and it’s understood in the beginning that that’s not what we do. My husband has never come home and told me that he’s going to some guy's bachelor party, which I love! And I have never come home asking for a girls trip, which I’m sure he appreciates! The girls in my social circle are all moms and don’t have live-in help, and they just can’t pick up and go whenever. If I was to ask one of my girlfriends to go away for the weekend just so we can get away from our husbands and our kids, I think she would look at me like I had 10 heads. It’s just not something that’s done. And that’s not to say I’m against it, but my husband and I have made the conscious effort to just have each other when it comes to going away. The funny thing is, I have never once felt or thought that I was missing out on anything. I still don’t. I love that my husband and I have so much respect for each other that we just don’t pick up and go out whenever we want. I was going on that trip regardless of what he said. I had already told the girls “Yes”. Asking him if he was okay with me going was really just common courtesy. I do what needs to be done to keep harmony in my home. It may not be for everyone, but it works for me!

At the end of the day, I feel like the lack of common courtesy and a lack of respect for one's spouse is the reason for the demise of most marriages these days. Marriage is constant work and constant compromise. The day you don’t give a s*** about what your spouse has said or what their opinion is is the day that your marriage is in the toilet. I care about what my husband thinks. It matters to me when he is happy or sad. Coddling his ego puts him in a good mood, so what does it matter if I thank him for the things he does to make me happy? Have you ever heard of the saying “Happy wife, happy life”? Well, I got one better for you: “Happy spouse, happy house."

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Now, on a lighter note, Teresa looks fantastic — but this trainer?! Ooof! She is tough! Too tough for me! I’d be waving that white flag and heading for the carbs! She can’t even eat on Easter! And I don’t know about you, but Teresa and Joe’s dad flipping out on Joe was awkward, to say the very least! But I felt so bad for Teresa’s dad! I wanted to give that teddy bear a hug. I totally understand how it is to work a lot. I have a husband who works a lot and I barely see him. But seeing that they do live really close to one another, I’m hoping that in the future he’ll make more of an effort to give his dad some quality time that he deserves. Maybe we can ask Frank? “Frank Can-tell-ya”!

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Jennifer Aydin

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