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How did all this go so wrong between Jill and Bethenny? Jill is a giver. She gives relentlessly, whether you want it or not, and expects equal payback as though friendship is a stock she’s optioning. Some people find that comforting; others don’t. There was a time in which she took over Bethenny’s life, and gave her love and good times and a place to stay in the Hamptons and her mother Gloria’s advice. I think they had fun together. I also think that Jill expected Bethenny to take Jill along with her as she grew her brand and career – that somehow to Jill the friendship she gave Bethenny was an emotional investment from which she wanted business dividends. To me that’s faulty logic. Most of us on the show are working as hard as we can to grow our businesses or otherwise better our lives for our families and ourselves by hard work and creativity, not by hitching our wagons to our castmates. When Bethenny fell in love, her heart found a home in Jason and she felt complete. Friendships always go through the ringer when people fall in love, and that’s when you see whom your real friends are. The ones who are superficial fall away, and the ones who are in deep stick around. There are friends I’ve had for decades and sometimes we don’t talk for a couple of years because we’ve been too busy having babies or working or something. We ALWAYS circle back, even if it’s just a hit and run email to let them know we’re thinking of them. Simon and I got to meet a few of those friends of Bethenny’s last weekend at her wedding, and I believe Bethenny thought she had a similar friendship with Jill. It was a crazy, work filled and falling-in-love summer and I think to her, falling in love was something Jill should understand, support and step away from so she and Jason could figure out where this relationship was going before the cameras started rolling in September. Instead of that, B got angry phone calls, the “why aren’t you taking me with you,” harangue again and again, whether it was a vacation or hosting the Today Show, etc. etc. I see how it happened, and I’m not surprised.
Regardless of how it started, a huge divide got even bigger when Bethenny phoned Jill. I thought it was reprehensible that Jill put Bethenny on speakerphone and didn’t announce LuAnn, and also that LuAnn wanted Jill to say she was alone. Let’s get one thing straight. It’s true that when we make reality TV, we are often asked to place calls on speaker. The biggest reason for that is so there’s no microphone reverb and they can record both sides. It DOESN’T automatically mean there are other housewives around. Yes, the crew is there, and yes, we know two million viewers will see it six months later, but it’s also a real conversation and we don’t expect that other cast members are lurking. The nasty smirks on Jill and LuAnn’s faces, coupled with Bethenny’s tears and disoriented wandering around the sidewalk, pretty much tell the whole story.
I have to tell you, you have swiftly become my favorite housewife this season. I didn't really connect with the show last year-in a different place. But now, I am a new mother, and am really appreciating your realness and genuity. Keep it up and try to keep these crazy-drama Queens together. P.S. I hope you keep on Jill! Don't let her squirm out of the comments she and Luan make! Opa!
You are so wonderfully refreshing. I don't think I could watch the show if you weren't on it. You bring cool, calm sanity to a room full of overly dramatic and sometimes very petty women.
I cannot believe how my opinion has changed so drastically from one season to another. I just read your opinion on the Jill and Bethanny fued and I whole heartedly agree with your synopsis. I was absolutely DISGUSTED by the phone call scene between Jill and Bethanny tonight. I really hope as Jill and Luann watch the episode tonight that sommewhere deep down they are sick to their stomach with their high school behavior. True colors really do shine through over time and boy how they have shined. I know it's early but I cannot wait to see the reunion episode this season! Whoa- it's going to be a doozy!! Thank you for continuing to be the rational adult of the cast this season! Every bunch needs one!
Alex, thanks for being so eloquent, real and neutral. Loved your blog. It speaks volumes about who you really are and Bethenny is lucky to have you as a friend. Best of luck in all that you do!!!
You are phenomenal. And you tell the story as we see it, not twisted in a LuAnn and Jill sort of way. Thank you. You are fast becoming my favorite housewife.
You hit the nail on the head in describing what B and J's friendship had been like and what caused it's demise. I think Jill could not stand the fact that Bethany had moved on with her love and career and just didn't have the time to revolve around Jill that she so desires.
I admire you for including Bettheny--she doesn't lie--about thatyou are so right! You were my least fav housewife last year. This year I am loving that you don't suck up to Jill. She doesn't deserve it. You are spot on. Kudos my girl! I am actually becoming very proud of you.
You are definitely a woman with class. I couldn't have put it all better. You have a quiet strength, wisdom, and maturity. You're my favorite out of the NY crew.
I'm officially Team Alex now! Way to handle the girls at your meeting to discuss the fashion show! I love how you reflect on the whole Jill/Bethenny situation. Your insight is fantastic, and I enjoy how down to Earth you are. Stay YOU!!!
Simon and yourself are a breath of fresh air while watching. If it weren't for you two- I wouldn't be able to watch the show! I look forward to purchasing your book!
"The nasty smirks on Jill and LuAnn’s faces, coupled with Bethenny’s tears and disoriented wandering around the sidewalk, pretty much tell the whole story."
What an incredibly true statement - My heart broke a little for Bethenny tonight and I'm glad she got her happy ending AND that people like you, who support her got to see it!
Alex...I think you are the classiest housewife on the show! You don't get involved in everyone's business, you are a great mom, and I love that you and Simon are genuine. As for Jill, I agree with you. She expects something extra out of a friendship. Poor Bethany is looking so desperate right now. I think she should just let it go and move on. Now Jill is showing her true colors by threatening Kelly. Why can't LuAnn see her true colors? She'll be next. And Ramona? OMG. She's just over the top. Thanks, Alex. I really admire you. Good luck with your book.
Hi Alex! I've always admired how diplomatically you handle these often sticky situations. Great insight on everything!
You and your family have become one of my favorites of the show. It's interesting that as the show has progressed and we get to know you more and more that you and your husband become the "normal stable couple". Your truth really comes across in these new episodes. You live a great life. But you are a working family just like the rest of us in America. My family and I live VERY different lives but I find you and yours to be very relatable. We two income families with kids are all in the same busy lives. I agree that the footage of the Jill and Bethenny phone call SPEAKES VOLUMES for both individuals intent and character. I think that both are represented in a very truthful way on camera. Bethenny is no angel with her sharp tongue but Jill is ruthless. And I agree with your appraisal of their relationship and why Jill is angry and hurt. I don't agree with her position but I think you summed up what happened very well. It's interesting to me that both times Jill is confronted by you and Bethenny she remarks that it isn't her problem. Good for you for confronting her for what she said about your kids. Kids are kids the world over. They are not mini-adults and take much patience and training over their life-time. I wonder where Jill was when Allie was little. Traveling and having a nanny raise her??
I like you and Simon, your more chilled than the rest of the cast. I thought that it was classless for Jill to put Bethenny on speakerphone. I guess LuAnn is Jill's new hobby. Your right on with your blog. Kelly just gets on my last nerve. I don't know why she thinks that Bethenny is beneath her. It appears to be the other way around. Best to you and Simon.
Alex you and Simon are my favs on the show. Please don't change because you two are the only ones who haven't let the 15 mins go to your heads and you both show class and make the show at least for me, enjoyable, let the others create drama, they don't realize how dumb and clueless they really look to the REAL world. You two make the show.
Two things: One, I think you hit it on the nail about the whole Jill/Bethenney relationship and how Jill perceives things. However, I do find it reprehensible that Bethenney did not at least call Jill's husband or go see him at least once when she still was calling Jill her best friend. I don't care how busy she was or falling in love, cancer is a killer and nothing to take lightly and both Jill and her husband had done a lot for Bethenney. Second, I'm a Floridian so have no stake in the whole NY scene, however, I see two things happening here. You have yourself and Simon, loving Brooklyn and totally involved and I love that. However, it appears that people from Manhattan want to distance themselves from Brooklyn as well as other areas of NY and I think you're expecting them to feel the way you do and it's misplaced. They don't have the engagement or passion for your area and probably won't so I think you might get disappointed more if you keep expecting it to happen. My two cents for what it's worth.
So, do you think you made the right choice of inviting Ramona, when she basically said your show was no better than the worst neighborhood in the city? I'm sorry but you all are using this show to make money or your catch term "build your brand" so why not Jill. Oh wait she and her husband achieved that without the show and LuAnne doesn't need it. You, Betheney, and Romona are acting so Jealous, you even made it seem that last week you belived Ramona about LuAnn not wanting you (were you not invited to her home?). Please open your eyes go back to being the person who you were, a loving talented woman, a wonderful wife and mother and an open minded person.
Alex, I think you are goddess!! I love the way you handled the argument at the Brooklyn fashion meeting.
I've thought so before, but especially after this season so far and now after reading this blog... you are the NY Housewife with class.
p.s. I saw a re-run and your pizza looked even more delish the second time I watched!
Your perception of J and B's friendship is how I interpret it also. You can really see the hurt in B's face and shock. You are refreshing to have on this show. I've watched it since the beginning. I like you more and more. You don't take sides and you try to have an open mind about all situations.
Alex you and Bethanny are my favs on the show. And not to leave Simon out i love his personality. I think you are the most down to earth and level headed out of all of them. I think Bethanny will really need a friend in the future and just from seeing tonights show i don't think it will be Jill. I think Jill was very spiteful on tonights show and as far as Lu-Ann is concerned i don't like the way she is coming across this season. I hope you will be there for Bethanny and was so glad to hear that you and Simon did attend her wedding. Good luck with your book and hope it hits #1 on the best sellers list (which i know it will). Congrats to you and Simon, and your two adorable boys.
Alex, I some people believe that because Behtenny seems tough, she does not have feelings, but I think that she is sincere and caring in the inside. I know motherhood can change her. You can take her under your wing and show her is alright to put her guard down. You two are about to have a lot in common with young children and all. Give har chance! She may have her faults, but she as a good heart.
You and Bethenny are my favorite. You have shown so much character and integrity. Can't wait to read your book!
I hope this makes the cut. When this show first started I was not sure how I felt about you and Simon. I liked Jill and Bethenny. I can now say from my heart that you are wonderful. Your insight seems so pure and unbiased. Thank you for telling it like it is. Bethenny is lucky to have you in her life. You are there to celebrate but also to help her stay grounded and we all need that sometimes. She may be mouthy at times but she owns it so I can accept that. Jill and LuAnn, they deserve each other because they want to live in that pretend place where they are worshipped by all. Thank you and Simon for being you and for being willing to aid others in their quest to promote their talents
Alex: i think you really hit it on the nail!! As women and friends we understand that when starting a relationship or a business, life gets crazy and a true friend will understand that. True friendship always survives. I think having LuAnn around adding to the fire doesn't let Jill see further. LuAnn 's expresions of satisfaction when Jill "dumps" on B. tell the story for sure..too bad Jill doesn't see it. I enjoy watching you and Simon and your kids are beautiful. Good luck with everything!!
Alex you hit it right on the head. Jill is the one who needs to grow up! Team Bethenny, congratulations on your new journey!
Congrats on being the most mature of all the OC, NYC and ATL "housewives." I really like the way you handle yourself in conflict and in compromising situations. You handled the Bethany/logo thing with grace, for example. There have been many situations where I would have scratched some eyes, but you don't...admirable. Having said that, your opening line about status bugs me. And, love you, but...kids sometimes need some boundaries. Take no offense, I'm just saying :)
Alex, I must admit you have not been my favorite housewife in seasons past, but I also must admit I am truly beginning to appreciate your point of view. I had the highest respect for Jill until this season. I wasn't sure whether I was coming or going watching their feud but you are proving to call them like you see them (not Ramona style either) and seem to have a fresh prospective. I look foward to reading future blogs!
Best wishes on the book release!
I have one problem with you. Bethany has been dood to you. She does has a dry humor, but you seemed to enjoy it when she came to your home. You are straddeling the fence because of Jill's social standing. You know she is wrong. When all is said and done Bethany will be your steps up the social ladder. I promise you. Guess what, she will be forgiving and grown up about it. You need to rethink your decsion and stop pretending to be the peace maker.
I agree with everything you just posted. The phone conversation w/ B and Jill was so hard to watch. I really though highly of Jill but now...not so much!
Oh and wait the email to Kelly was so childish! You are very logical and bring a level head to the cast. I'm so glad you shut that down w/ Kelly and B.
Alex, I really didn't like you on the first season. I warmed up to you on the second season, and I really like you a lot this season. All the housewives' bickering are very disappointing. I am glad that you shed a better lights to all true women out there!
Alex you are the type of person that I would befriend in a heart beat. You are so honest and true to yourself and I so respect that. Bethany is very fortante to have a friend like you.
Alex, Thanks for telling the story as it should be told. Really tired of Jill this season, she makes herself look really bad. Yes, maybe Bethany should have visited Bobby this summer, but just maybe Jill, Bethany didnt realize the extent of his cancer. Please get a HOBBY that does not involve your slamming Bethany, its pretty petty right about now. On another note, Alex, you have grown on me this season tremendously. I really appreciate your sincerity with everyone you meet, it truly is nice to see good people on TV, it seems to be rare, right about now.. And I wish you lots of luck with yours and Simons book!
You are my favorite Housewife because you are always classy, refrain from gossip, and just all-around intelligent. You have a great personality and I like Simon as well. I'm very happy for the both of you finding each other.
That being said, I'm not sure that I fully agree with your assessment of the Jill-Bethenny rift. Jill was there for Bethenny when she wasn't doing as well as she is now, or in her moment of need, you might say. Once Bethenny's star arose, she should have made a place for Jill in her life. There aren't too many friends who will stick around when you are down, as Bethenny was. Jill gave her comfort, a shoulder to cry on, and sound advice. When Jill's husband got seriously sick, for Bethenny not to visit Jill in person is inexcusable. Jill needed support from Bethenny then but did not get it. It speaks volumes about Bethenny's character. I agree that Jill should avoid sharing the phone message that Bethenny left her telling her off, but we all need to vent and since Luanne is her new best friend, I see nothing wrong in sharing something that hurt her with a close friend like Luanne.
Last, I'm not sure what nationality you and Simon are. I happen to be Hispanic and I know that we Hispanics tend to form very close-knit, strong bonds with people, just like the Jewish people do. Since I believe that Jill and Bethenny are both Jewish, they, or at least Jill, probably tend to form strong emotional ties with others because their culture is warm and expressive, just like ours is. We are not detached, unemotional people and are very affectionate by nature. In such a culture, you come to expect more of your friends and do not excuse long absences readily. I don't mean to offend you or Simon when I say this, but your description of friendship in your blog about friends not keeping in touch because of life commitments is more the course for an Anglo-Saxon relationship, rather than a Jewish or Latin one. We are very emotional and give, as well as expect to receive, a lot in our friendships.
Just some food for thought from a cultural perspective.
Of all the housewives, you are the only one who actually writes well. I am in complete accordance with you - Jill Zarin was hoping to cash in on Bethenny's popularity. Why haven't we seen more about your book on the show? You haven't had nearly as much publicity or exposure. Jill got it all- doesn't seem fair to you and Simon. Good luck with the book!
Alex...LOVE your blog. You say it with alot of class! You and Simon have been some of my favorites since day one!