Before I jump into this week’s episode, here’s a taste of what’s going on in our lives right now. We just updated our family website with new content and are out and about on our book tour for Little Kids Big City -- we hope that if you’re thinking about what to buy a mom for Mother’s Day, you’ll get her a book that’s not preachy, that’s lighthearted and fun…ours!
Now, the episode! Oh, what an interesting one. Not my smoothest hour, but it can’t be undone, it’s on film and I’m not sorry it happened. Let’s explore how I got there.
Over the years, I’ve become more and more frustrated by Jill’s behavior, to me specifically and to others in general. Her manner of jumping in and taking over nearly every situation she is in really grates on you after a while. I experienced a build up of annoyance with her constant comments, first about me, my husband and children, but then also about Bethenny, Bethenny and Jason, Bethenny and work, Bethenny and whether or not she might be engaged or pregnant or in LA or on Mars. If Jill wanted to know what was going on with Bethenny, she should have picked up the phone and called Bethenny. Not me, not the girls, just her.
At any rate, when Bethenny called to tell me that the rumors were true, it was after we’d texted back and forth about the Perez nonsense. In between, Jill called me, not even to say “hello” but purely pumping me for information. It was obnoxious, and I told her I didn’t know anything.
You know, when you tell people you’re pregnant, you want them to jump up and down and scream and hug you. You don’t particularly want a lecture. Nor do you want an estranged former pal calling up the press and making statements on your behalf. Last I checked, Jill Zarin is not Bethenny’s publicist. How about, “Congratulations, I’m happy for you!” or “Mazel tov!” or something positive? The reality of life is that when you get pregnant, particularly if you’re a size 0, other women who have had babies are going to figure it out pretty quickly since they know what the signs are. At the Gotham party, B was busty and glowing, and some people asked if she was expecting. Although I told myself at the time it was because of the engagement, it was probably only a matter of time before people started guessing. My question is, how did that make it OK for Jill to speak to the press on Bethenny’s behalf without even talking to her about it first?
Alex: Right on!!! Loved that you stood up and confronted Jill. You've generally maintained a respectful demeanor but some times it's totally appropriate to call a spade a spade. I respect you out of all the NY housewives. You're intelligent, classy and a decent human being. So glad you follow your heart.
You go girl! I absolutely love you! I too have a long fuse and it takes a lot for me to react but when I do, they will hear the unfiltered truth. If there is a gay version of the show for OC, I am your "girl"...I mean guy!
You treat people the way they treat you. Poo Poo to those who call you mean because people like Jill, LuAnn and Kelly should learn to be take what they dish out. Life is nothing but a big cycle. People channeling bad energy are bound to receive bad energy.
PS. Kudos on the fashion show. You looked hot! Smooches.
I thought you did perfect with your message to Jill. You looked absolutely stunning on the show with Andy!
Everyone knew what was happening between J and B. Everyone knew about the terrible way J had been treating B, so who cares if everyone heard that B was done with J. And to that I say good!
Alex, you are the best!! Jill deserved to be humbled. I was still chuckling the next day after I saw the show.
Go Alex-Go Alex-Go Alex. You had the balls and you did it. Was it wrong timing, probably. Was it immature, yep. Was it incredibly fabulous to watch---DEFINITELY. I agree totally with everything that you say. Things buildup then we explode. You are a true friend and you have come into your own on the show. I really like you alot. I'm on board---long fuse, but once you light it , it's gonna BLOW.
Alex...YOU DID THE RIGHT THING. Jill can dish it out, but she cannot take it. She is a "mean girl!" Good for you!
Actually I found your commnents on connecting when Jill was helping you look at the children's school to be revealing. Are you and your husband so intent on keeping up with the Joneses that you can no longer differentiate between 'friend' and 'connection'. Laughable, no actually quite sad that you admit to go going the opera... to make connections. I thought it was about appreciating art... Aspiring social climbers come to mind...
Read Bethenny's blog regarding her intent to you about delivering any message.
You were just looking for an excuse to unload on Jill in the most open, embarrassing manner available. Please don't point to others' conduct in order to justify bad conduct on your part.
Good for you.Finally putting Jill in the place She deserve.I guess the final point for you was to hear Her negative comments againg your kids(Soooo wrong).You totally did the right thing embarrasing Her in front of Her girlfriends was the best.
Alex- what were you thinking. You acted proud to deliver the "Message" It was like you were trying to get all the attention from everyone around you. You talk about Jill being a bully, but you acted much worse than she has. Why would you want to put yourself in the middle of the Bethenny and Jill drama anyway's? To me you were the one acting like you are the one in highschool. I was so dissaponted that you allowed yourslef to be brought down to such a childish level.
I understand where you came from Alex - if I had to do seasons of a show with Jill I probably would have been ready to explode too. It was obvious you were uncomfortable being "mean" and not enjoying it - like Jill/Luann/Kelly do.
Alex, I am reading the comments of others,and, I have to say,you deserve no criticism for your behavior toward Jill. You, above anyone else, have been exemplary in your behavior,not only this season,but all seasons. People need to cut you some slack-Jill got what she deserved-so I say-in Ramona's voice-"who cares,who cares!"
Alex, It is funny to me that you behaved exactly like those you condemn. Wake up! Just as Jill and Luanne and Kelly sometimes say inappropriate things and butt their noses in other's business, you are just as guilty. It was not your message to deliver.In fact, you were visibly excited at the prospect of saying something hurtful to Jill.All I can say is, WOW. Not good!!
Jill has said such ugly thngs about your family and children over the past few years and I never heard you say one bad thing about her daughter or husband. The meanest thing you can do to a mother is say hurtful thngs about her children. This is what I believe you were really upset about and you were probably upset with yourself for not standing up for them like you should have over the past three years. I think this situation with Bethany gave you the opportunity to "get Jill back". To get to tell her that someone who she was really close to and loved doesn't want to have anything to do with her. Bethany is a grown woman who didn't need you to take up for her. I just wish we would have seen this side of you the first time anyone said anything about your family and it never would have happened again. Next time stand up for your children the way you did Bethany.
Alex I like your style, you are in my opinion a very classy lady.(Are you listening Luann) It makes me happy to see you hold it together. I think you think before you react and that is a blessing in itself. I hope you and Bethenney can develop a real friendship and let the past stay there. As far as the Jill thing, she deserves it. I used to really like her but she doesn't shut up long enough to hear herself speak. She just babbles on and on. Maybe it is because when she is rambling on she doesn't have to think of what she has become since RHofNYC. Best wishes for you and your family.
Alex you are not a mean girl but a good fried Good for you. I have grown quite fond of you this seasonn, you are one of my farvorites, if not my no.1 favorite. Good for you defending you family and friends,
When I first started watching RHNYC,I didn't care much for you or Simon, but as the shows have progressed, I found a softer, gentler side that I quite enjoyed. I do believe that you two would be better served to quit the nonsense of this crazy group of women and concentrate on your family, your careers, and the things that you both love and enjoy. It is sad to watch you fall into the madness that surrounds this group. Rise above...and move on...
I'm pretty sure B didn't ask you to be the messenger but even so I was happy you stood up to Jill finally even if was for a friend. I didn't like when LuAnn got involved for Jill and feel the same regarding this. Next time hopefully you will stand up for yourself b/c Jill has been pretty insulting to you from the very beginning!
Nice 2-page rationalization. I'm not buying it. There was absolutely no reason for you deliver any message for anyone one else, particularly as it pertained to a situation in which you were not personally involved. The fact that you chose to do so in such a very public way told me all that I needed to know about your motives. Someone named Alex just wasn't getting enough time in the spotlight it seems. And you call Jill a mean girl! If you have an issue with Jill, put on your big girl panties and deal with it one on one. Let Jill and B work out their own issues. I have completely lost all respect for you. So, congrats, if your goal was to come across as a compassion-challenged fifth grade girl, you have succeeded beyond all measure.
Alex, You were being yourself and sticking up for your husband( who is awesome, i really like his involvement in the show) and your children and yourself. I felt you were also being a friend to Betheny as well. B will need friends right now, you know Ramona told B she had none so I am glad u2 can be friends. Jill really needs to know the truth, her husband cann't tell her, she won't stop talking to allow him to tell her she lost a great friendship, apoligize and make amends.Poor guy, he is to afraid of losing his wife to share his feelings. That must be horrible.
Well, it definitely wasn't the setting for 'delivering' a message like this but it's over. I don't think you'll make that mistake again.
HOORAY FOR YOU ALEX!!! SO GLAD YOU FINALLY SAID WHAT YOU'VE BEEN STORING UP FOR 3 SEASONS. HOW YOU COULD DO THAT FOR SO LONG, EVERY WEEK I WOULD YELL AT THE TV ALEX PLEASE TELL JILL WHERE TO GET OFF. YOUR MY HERO I GREW UP KNOWING PEOPLE LIKE JILL, LUANN, SONIA, & GOOD LORD COULD WACKED OUT RAMONA PICK A SIDE OR SHUT UP & KEEP HER STUPID RUDE COMMENTS TO HER SELF! YOU ARE A GOOD PERSON ALEX AND BETHANY IS LUCKY TO HAVE YOU AS A FRIEND. KNITTER
Love, love you. But you were wrong and it was very passive agressive. Let Bethany fight her own battles. You put yourself in as the bearer of the news. You were honest, at least, which is refreshing with Bethany about your ulterior reasons, your anger. But Jill has been no worse to you than Ramona, who treated you awful for seasons. You are latching on to Bethany's issues with Jill and making your issues with her bigger than they are. Move on. You owe Jill an apology. Though, I am not a big fan of Jill this season towards Bethany, she didn't deserve what you did. I still love you though. You rock.
Alex, i think you said it best, when you spoke up to Jillain, and told her that she is so good at pretending to be nice.. To me she is a Gossiping, troublemaker, who takes pleasure in viewing other peoples lives as a game. I am very glad you stood up for not only yourself, but for your family as well.. You go girl...
While I thought what you did was out of line, the difference between you and Jill is that this behavior has not been a PATTERN for you. This leads me to think it was just a culmination of pent up anger rather than a mean characteristic of yours like it is with Jill, where she repeatedly belittles everything and everyone. Still a fan!
Alex- You go girl!! Jill had that coming to her & a WHOLE lot more in my book..She loves to play the "poor me" card she loves to crack on others but when the truth smacks her in the face she can't handle it....She "CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH" So Goooooooooooooooo ALEX !!!!
Well said Alex. Your a wonderful role model for young women, please continue to be authentic. I know sometimes it hurts but you've got to admit it ALWAYS leads to happiness.
You go !!!! We are all behind you because we wish we could tell Jill the way we feel- but you are doing it for us. Thank you.
Alex, I understand the long fuse part (because I have one too) and I'm glad you finally LET JILL HAVE IT! I hope Bravo puts together a package of clips (for the reunion show or something) that shows ALL (ok maybe just some since there are so many) THE NASTY DIGS that Jill has made towards you, your husband, and your children! That would help the viewers see why you laid into her! I can't wait for next week! YOU GO, GIRL!
Alex: You made me proud! You gave Jill one of the best verbal ass-kickings I've seen in a while. I now dub you an "Honorable Texan" for your courage! You go, GF! You have more class in your little finger than Jill will ever have.
Alex, I would want you to be my friend for sure! Betheny is Lucky to have you on her side. You and her are the only muture ones in the group. It's like watching teenage girls gossiping about people they call friends. As they say "With friends like that, who needs enemies" I hope to see you and Simon as part of Betheny's new show also. I love watching Housewives of NY, keep up the good work. You and Betheny are my favorites. Pat Molloy
Alex - You and Simon have been my favorites from the beginning. You two have endured much abuse from all of the housewives and you've always handled it with class. Jill deserved every bit of what you gave her. (Although I would have done it privately, but sometimes in the heat of the moment things happen that you don't expect.) Jill has told the world that she is "done" with Bethenny, so I don't see why Bethenny's declaration of the same toward Jill is such a violation, based on Jill's rules of the game. All the best to you, Simon, and your adorable boys.
So I just want to say you ALEX YOU ARE my new female HERO and have become the voice of reason, grace and class with your CONSTANT ABILITY to be generous, thoughtful and enthusiastically accepting of others! You are NOW my FAVORITE HOUSEWIFE of ALL the Franchise! And I'm sure you will be winning the hearts of millions, in fact I would LOVE to see a SPIN OFF of your family in the same format as Tori & Dean's reality show. You could show us how you navigate through life in NY as a mom and devoted wife and friend!
Alex is pretty and her husband adores her, and he is his own man, interesting and unashamed of being real person, not unlike their gay friends that I find so warm and entertaining. The network could make the show about Weekends with Alex, and show other moms how to integrate work, motherhood and a ongoing sincere romance with their husband as it appears she has, the Martha Stewart of the current day. You know us Mom's could use a tip or two on how to keep their marriages ALIVE and EXCITING while still being a down to earth, real mom who loves her kids even if they "crawl up someone’s legs" it just goes to show you they don't emotionally beat their kids into submission, their kids are loving and trusting and act like kids, not dolls to dress up in this seasons fashions and parade so that everyone will think well of me!!
It would be interesting to see how they go about researching the paper or what ever resources they uses to plan things for entertainment and/or educate their family on weekends, or when ever it is they gather as a family and bond - and ALEX would be the ONE to SHOW all of us reality show watcher Gals how to be a "Feminine 21st Century Woman". Alex really appears to have Class and Poise when dealing with others along with a Truly Generous Sprit for others as she has shown in her relationship with Bethenny. Along with the How To's of being able to keep the attention, admiration, fun and romance going with her husband!!
I like the children and the down to earth aspect of Alex’s family, I think allot of people could relate to them not to mention the entertainment factor, they are not so predictable in their every day life and don’t appear to be trying to please everyone, I think ALEX would be great !!!
I still like you. I get your frustration, but let Jill be the nasty one. She's better at it naturally.
Bravo Alex...I think you zone in on what exactly these ladies are about. You have a kind heart and have become my favorite housewife. You are who you are.
Alex I had respect for you until last evening first I don't get why you felt the need to showcase yourself in front of everyone and deliver a message for Bethany Second why are you even getting involved it is none of your business I could understand if it had to do with you and your family but Bethany just used you to do her dirty work I know you have your own ill feelings toward Jill but that is all you should stay focused on you are going to be the one in the end that gets hurt because you are a good person don't let these ladies change the Alex I have grown to love on the show I was like NO.....she isn't falling into their behaviors.
Alex I was cheering you on, and it was more than long over due. You are such a good friend to Bethany and it has been so nice to see the two of you bonding over this season. You both are my favorites!
Alex, I did not like you too much in the past but this season you have been alot more caring and down to earth and I can appreciate it. I don't blame you for defending your kids and your family in regards to Jill's comments. Now, being the sender of Bethanny's message was not a good idea that is something Bethanny should have done on her own and not have put you in the middle of that. I can understand there are things you wanted to confront Jill on and that's what you should've done. Hopefully, it's a lesson learned. :-)
YOU GO GIRL! Jill, LuAnn and Kelly are "The 3 Stooges". Proud of you for sticking up for you, your family and Bethenny.
Smooth or not, you never fail to be genuine. I've loved watching you and your family relax into your roles on the show & let us see more of your real life & less of the hype. You set a great example of addressing things directly rather than roundabout or behind the back & I am hopeful that your renewed rapport with Bethenny will carry over to her new show - I'd really love to see you as a part of that as well.
You go!!!!!! It is about time for someone to light Jill up. She never has anything nice to say... constantly slamming people at their events and being just down right mean. At least when she is wimpering and licking her wounds she is not being ugly. Even Ramona admitted that you did something everyone else is terrified to do. Whatever you do, dont apologize for it- Jill never "really" aplogizes- she just moves her lips, so dont think she deserves an apology.
ALL OF YOU CONGRATULATING ALEX ARE ABSOLUTELY INSANE. What she did was totally inappropriate, and I think she even acknowledges that in her blog post. Please do not encourage this juvenile behavior. Alex, I enjoy watching you, and I know everyone makes mistakes. If in a future episode you do not apologize to Jill for embarrassing her like that, I will definitely lose respect for you.
As far as your zeal in delivering that message, Bethenney clearly didn't mean for you to do it the way you did. I think you are a good friend to her, but don't convince yourself that your message was any part of that. That was you being petty and ridiculous, and using Bethenney as an excuse to get across your own anger. Please grow up and apologize to both Jill and Bethenney. Bethenney does not deserve any flack from your poor behavior.