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Too Bad For Them

Alex talks about Kelly's Playboy shoot, her own controversial pics, and her run in with Jill and LuAnn.

By Alex McCord

 

How to Watch

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Ohhh, I watched this episode and got angry all over again. Where do I begin? The Ungaro party was the perfect example of a slow burn. I laughed through most of it but as I reflected on the evening, got really annoyed. By the time I told Simon about it on pizza night, I was fuming.

At Ungaro, Simon and I were out of breath as we’d made a mad dash up Madison Avenue to get there, including commandeering a friend’s car and driver. For those outside NY, it was Fashion’s Night Out, a one-day event where most clothing stores in Manhattan host events and stay open basically all night. Imagine Madison Avenue overrun like Bourbon Street at Mardi Gras, and that’s just the beginning. Celebrities, fashionistas, drag queens on roller skates, you name it. Simon and I were both on a natural high and wearing head-to-toe purple as we’d just come from The Purple Event, where I walked in a fashion show to raise money for epilepsy and Ramona came out in support of me and the foundation.

We walked into the party with my (our) GBFF Derek Warburton and while Jill ribbed him good-humouredly in person, she got pretty judgmental afterwards. What’s wrong with a stylist dressing to make a splash during fashion week? I was disappointed that Jill said she was afraid of him – he’s not scary and in fact does quite a lot of charity work including an event next week for Housing Works. I’ve seen many people, including Jill’s former gay husband Brad, in much crazier getups. Wonder whatever happened to him?

 

That evening Kelly said some really, truly lovely things about the time we’d spent together by the pool in the Hamptons, neither of which made the cut. Our sons really took to her and François nicknamed her “Tiger” which is how he refers to her even today. Maybe Jill and LuAnn didn’t like it that Kelly complimented the boys, or maybe it was unconscious, but either way their reaction to Kelly saying something positive about our boys was to stomp all over that compliment by saying something negative. Something that, once I got to the bottom of it, wasn’t the mortal sin they made it out to be. At Ungaro, I didn’t know what they were talking about. Turns out, on the dock Labor Day weekend, Simon and the boys picked me up after the outing with Ramona. Simon introduced them to a guy we knew, who high-fived them and roughhoused with them. He wasn’t wearing a tux, we weren’t in church – it was a holiday weekend and everyone was in beachwear and sandals. If I were 5 ½ years old, after giving a new grownup a high-five and seeing it reciprocated with interest, I would have reacted the same as François. He grabbed the guy’s hands, walked up his legs and did a flip. Maybe Jill and LuAnn wouldn’t have when they were little. Too bad for them.

Moving on to Kelly’s announcement, or rather Jill’s announcement of Kelly’s big news. I’m glad that she realized it wasn’t the 40th anniversary and owned that. Hey, if she wants to pose for a men’s magazine, more power to her. I do have a big, raging problem with the fact that I was crucified in season one by the others because pictures I had taken for myself and my husband, leaked out where they shouldn’t have. LuAnn called them “weird.” I call her judgmental behavior and hypocrisy “weird.” The end. Wait – not the end. I’ll make one editorial comment – I was sorry that the photos of Kelly with the bunny ears didn’t make it into the mag. I would have liked to have seen something more Helmut Newton’ish, more Ellen von Unwerth, more artistic and playful, which I thought the bunny ears could have been. Regardless, she did look beautiful. Props.

I was glad to see Bobby receive a clean bill of health. In the end if you don’t have your health, you don’t have much of a life. Sometimes watching the show and reading the news I feel like I’m playing catch up, because we’d seen the Zarins a few times over the summer and nothing had really been said about cancer until after it was all over. I do remember an unrelated health scare prior to that which we knew all about. Regardless, and despite all the drama, I’m happy Bobby is healthy and hope he stays that way.

 

What else? Bethenny and Jason were cute at the birthday party; glad to see Jason nail Bethenny about making fun of people and her owning it. Also, you finally got to see us use our kitchen on pizza night! Usually we don’t shoo the boys away while we talk, but they didn’t need to hear us discussing the Ungaro drama. We make pizza once a week at home and the kids love to help us make it and eat it. If you want the recipe, please hop over to our new-and-improved family website and make it at your place! Until next week….

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