For the rest of my life (or at least a long time) I may find myself waking up in the middle of the night hearing Ramona whisper “Turtle Tiiiiiiiime” in my ear. For a shorter amount of time – this week, that is, I found myself wondering exactly how wide Courte can open his eyes and his mouth. All at the same time!
LuAnn is hard at work on her single, and as I always say, good on each and every housewife for attempting to branch out. That said, I’m not really sure she sounds like a female Barry White. The Pet Shop Boys, maybe ... but we’ll see.
By the time we went away to St. Thomas and St. John, we knew that neither LuAnn nor Jill would be coming. Ramona called them the buzzkills, and I have to say that I was really looking forward to a drama-free few days when we didn’t have anyone trying to constantly be the center of attention. It was the first time EVER that I went away from Simon and the boys when it wasn’t a business trip, and we all put ourselves in Ramona’s hands. My parents had a house on St. Thomas, and I sort of hoped to stop by. My Mom had given me a list of 30 friends to call, but there was no time for that. But there was Turtle Time.
No sooner had we arrived then the rumblings started. All was not well in Kelly-land. At first it seemed like normal Kelly non-sequiturs. No pretzels, she doesn’t eat processed food, but she does eat gummy bears …WTF? All that sugar and carnauba wax can make a girl manic. Anyway, we arrived at the pier and the Olga, a truly spectacular yacht. We gleefully ran around the place, and Ramona unpacked her bags in the living room to show us all her bikinis. We all stripped down and got ready for lunch, well, everyone except Kelly, who didn’t feel comfortable eating in a bikini. OK, no problem with that – go get a cover-up. She came back when Ramona was demanding wine, and somehow didn’t understand Bethenny’s offer to go stomp on some grapes? Hmm.