We needed to address a little Jill fallout. Let me explain exactly why. It was Thursday. Jen’s party (from last week’s episode, death, mean girl, high school, etc.) had taken place on Monday. Everything had happened in the space of four days, and we were all still reeling from it. It wasn’t as though we wanted to dredge up the past for fun; it was still the present and we hadn’t had a chance to sit down with Bethenny, who had just flown in from LA. So when the debriefing began, Kelly became really uncomfortable, and I understood that as she and Jill had become close. Again, no problem. It became weird when she started to narrate a different version of events. And then wouldn’t let us speak. And then said we were making lemonade out of lemons. Isn’t that what you’re supposed to do? I understand she was uncomfortable, but that’s when she should walk away and let us finish so she doesn’t have to hear it. Luckily, she did – she gave herself a timeout and came back to a better place. Temporarily.
Why did no one follow me to the fish? I think Ramona’s noodle was scaring them away. The only thing I was sorry about on the trip was that I didn’t have time to do a proper dive, but no one else was scuba certified and it was too much trouble. I did however swim several hundred yards alongside a beautiful stingray.
We had dinner, and Kelly brought us shots. I needed one while sitting between Kelly and Bethenny. Did Kelly really believe that a one-night-stand equals unprotected sex? In whose universe? I don’t recall Bethenny saying she slept with everyone in America. Somehow that’s what Kelly heard, and called her a ho-bag. Chef, author, ho-bag. Can you get business cards for that? Bethenny hightailed over to us and the Hooters Patrol, and I felt badly that we abandoned Sonja, though she got herself over quickly enough. Champ looked horrified that he’d allowed crazy people on his yacht, and after Ramona kissed him a few times and Sonja got her Hooters fix, we decided to call it a night. Almost. Not yet. It’s TURTLE TIME!!! Tune in next week for even more craziness…it only gets better.
Fast forwarding to this weekend, Simon and the chums and I had a great Mother’s Day weekend in Boston – a book signing, a Duck Tour and lots of fun. Check out www.mccordvankempen.com to see our next book tour dates – we’ll be up and down the east coast and in Chicago soon.