Ask Gloria

Jill Zarin's mother, Gloria, answers your questions.

Jul 21, 20090

I am Allie, 28 and have been in a  long distance relationship for about 2 years. A few months ago we decided to  work things out, move to be in the same city and make strides to have a  lasting relationship. Upon this decision, he recently revealed to me that  within the first few months we were together he slept with an ex-girlfriend.  After my wanting to know more, he told me he also was with another girl (no  sex) on two occasions during a weekend, who is still a friend of his group of  friends, who I have also met on several occasions. Her and a friend of his had  a child together and he is now the Godfather. He is very remorseful, but I am  disgusted. So my question is do you believe the saying "once a cheater,  always a cheater"?

Hi, I cannot make a judgment about all men, but I can about this loser. The best thing that he has going for him is you. I do not think you can build a relationship with someone who has cheated time and again on you. You must regain some respect for yourself. I would leave him and start a new life. Rent an apartment and find a new job and regain your self respect. If needed, seek counseling. Whatever you do, do not waste any more time on this relationship.  Good luck.

Gloria

12 comments
View 11
View 11

I really like you and the things you said last year on the show. How to see you this season to helps the girls stop acting like little children.

Dear Gloria,

What is the best advice you have when it comes to dealing with the teenage years. On the Real Housewives of OC, Lynn and her daugher Alexa are having problems. I have a 15 yr old girl and I can really relate to Lynn and her issues. Any advice??

You are the best!!

Concerned mom from NJ

Karen Denise Cooper
Karen Denise Cooper

November 20, 20, 2009

Dear Sweet Patient and Wise Ms. Gloria,

I only wish I had a loving, understand mother, like the mother you "seem" to be!! My mom is alive and around, unfornuately for me..., she is toxic..., I had to cut her loose. But, it is still very, very painful for me! I just wanted to let you know that, for someone like me! It means soooo much, to see that real "mothers",do and can love their daughters!

I divorced my first husband, because he really did not love me, this I judged from his "actions". My mother told me to go into the bathroom and cry. But to continue the marriage for marriage sake.

I re-married and now am going to celebrate my 15th year wedding anniversary this December 15, 2009. I am very happily married and my husband is very good to me and my family. But, she is not happy and mailed me a very ugly post card. Not even a private letter, a post card that any person handling it could read. Very insulting!

Any who, I just wanted to tell you and let you know! Watching how you talk and interact with people, that you are very "sweet" and insightful, a little judge judyish, but I love the truth. But you do not "pull" anyone's leg for the sake of being nice, truth is truth! My mom does not deal with truth too well, well..., not at all!

Any way, I am trying to winding this up, I love you as a person, and respect you as a mother, and experience "Humanbeing" a "Child of God"! Watching you, helps me not feel, so lost!

Love you, KCooper

Pam
Pam

Gloria, I hope you can give me some advice on how to deal with going on with your life after the death of a child. My son was diagnosed with cancer at age 10. Brain Cancer. He went through 3yrs of treatment and we thought he had it beat. It came back 12yrs. later and it was so advanced there was no treatment. I took care of him and watched him die a little everyday. He died at age 23. My kids have always been my life and when I lost him. I lost myself. How do you go on. Any advice you can give I would appreciate.

Viewer LORRY
Viewer LORRY

HI GLORIA, YOUR WEBSITE IS GREAT. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK. LUV YA! L

Robin
Robin

Hi Gloria,

Just wondering...what did you think of Kelly's exchanges with Bethany last season on RHNY? I LOVE your daughter she is so 'real'!

All the best, Robin

jason palm beach
jason palm beach

your awsome.I lost my mother at 39 she was 66,19 days in the hospital.MY BEST FRIEND,LOVE OF MY LIFE.i miss her everyday,you will make Bethanny a great adopted daughter,I wish i were that lucky.THANK GOD i still have my dad,i live w/him.Im a 40 yr young gay white man in south florida.and i treasure my family.without them i would have died when i lost my mom.Jill is a lucky girl to have you.

susan
susan

Hey! Just love you and the show!

I have two grandchildren. My daughter and there father have been divorced since the children were two and four. My daughters husband has adopted the children. He is so strict on them. His sixteen year old daughter is here for a month, and he bends the rules for her and not as strict, and babies her. It makes me furious! It just does not seem fair to me. Any advice? My grandchildren are six and eight.

All the best! Susan

Mary
Mary

You need to take control. Only you are in control of your own happiness and destiny. If this situation is getting you down, then you need to lay down the law. Have a serious talk with these guys and tell them how you feel; don't just assume that they know you're unhappy. Set guidelines, such as you need to pick up after yourselves and get a job for starters. Don't be a victim and allow people to walk all over you. Only you can own your advice; what they do with it is up to them and if they continue to thumb their noses at you, then maybe it's time for them to leave so you can regain your self respect. Take care of yourself first.

ISThisIt?
ISThisIt?

Gloria after being married for 35 years I realize that we are both unhappy over the fact our children are grown and leaving little for us to be involved with. My husband has decided that he needs to work even more than he did when we were younger, and has announced he cannot ever retire. My work life was interupted by an unexpected problem with my ankle, so I am not contributing financially, but I never did that much while raising the kids anyway. What kind of advice could you give about how to get our marriage on track so that we can enjoy our lives in old age? Why do people get so unhappy with one another?

Jill Zarin
Jill Zarin

Dear Mommy,

I am so happy you have truly found your calling. I never truly appreciated your advice throughout my life and just assumed everyone had a mommy like me. As I grew up I realized how special you are and how lucky I am. Thank you for sharing your gift with the world. Love, Jill

DIANE
DIANE

I have been married to this man for 28 years. I have 2 daughters, (neither one is his) 4 grandchildren and 2 great grandchildren. One of my daughters and one of my granddaughters and both of my great grandchildren live with my husband and me. They do not work. They are messy and sloppy and just a pain in the neck. We are spending money on them we dont have. My husband does nothing but complain day and night day and night. I dont blame him in a way. I hear him the first time her really doesnt need to keep it up day and night. That's all I ever hear from him anymore is him complaining. I'm getting so depressed and down I just want everyone to leave. Do you have any advise?