Ask Gloria

Jill Zarin's mother, Gloria, answers your questions.

Jul 21, 2009

My mother has a mental  disorder that the doctors have explained to me and they say she is capable of  getting help and acting better towards my kids and me but she refuses to  accept this is her issue to solve. She "kicked" us out of her life a few  months ago, like the fifth time she has done this, but this time I didn't go  back. I felt I needed to protect my kids from her abuse since I am fully aware  of how bad it can get. My question is this, she is old and her health isn't  good but she is still as abusive with her actions and words as ever. Society  says I need to suck it up and put up with this till she dies, but I feel there  just has to come a time in life when I can say enough is enough and I am going  to live my life and protect my kids. What is your thought on this

Hi, Thank you for writing. I would continue to see Mom but without the children. You understand the problem, but they cannot, nor should they. You can keep the visits at a minimum. The reason I say you should consider seeing your mother is when she passes you will not feel at all guilty that you haven't been a "good child." Hope my advice will help you.