Gloria, I could use some advice. My youngest daughter and I always had a great relationship until about a year ago. She started dating her current boyfriend who is 32 and she is 21. He has never been married and has no children. He tells her he would marry her today but has never preposed or set up how he is going to provide for her. He has been a waiter for 15 years (his only job) and doesnt have plans to get another job. He has no money saved and has lots of bills. We are not people of money so I dont know how they are gong to to make a life together. I told her he isnt the one for her, he has nothing to offer her. This has brought a huge wedge between us. I told her I would be disappointed in her if she marries him. She said if I dont except him I will not be in her families life. This killed me and I dont know what to do. Help
Hi, Thanks for writing. You are facing a very common and frustrating problem. The more you are negative, the more she feels anger. Try not to let her know how you feel. When she discusses her situation with you, listen, and say nothing. She will say,"Mom say something" and you will reply, "Whatever you do, I am sure it will be the right thing". She will get very upset, but she can't have an argument when you are playing the neutral game. She will get the message eventually without confrontations, and she will realize that he is not for her in due time. I know this will be very hard for you to do, but it is the only way to avoid conflict. Good luck and persevere!
Oh Gloria, great advice to the empty-nesters (2nd letter). I've been married 16 yrs now, and my mom always gave us the advice to make time for each other - because eventually the kids would leave and we needed to have maintained the "couple" relationship and not just become parents in this family. Of course, I also think it was her way of making sure she got alone time with the grandkids while we took mini-vacations without them! I guess that was a win-win thoug for everyone.
First of all....You should be a housewife!
I'm wanting a new tattoo and I'm afraid of my stupid parents. My Dad and my sister are just kind of strict. My sister more than my father. My mother passed when I was 8 so she kind of took over. I'm 24 years old but I'm worried about what they'll think. Still concerned about their approval. Is it time to grow up, grab my balls and just do it? Or is the "respect" I have for them supposed to follow me indefinatley?
joey in el paso.
Gloria - you need your own show! I love you on RH-NY - you're a doll... Did you manage to marry off Bethanny yet??
Gloria-You Rock! My 24 year old son is moving home in a couple of weeks. Because he is working full time and going to school, he just cannot afford living on his own and paying for school. We discussed the ground rules prior to him moving in. He knows I love him very much, but I am done taking care of him. We have been empty nesters for a few years now. I am sure a few feathers will be ruffled, but it takes knowing you must smooth them out each day. My husband is his step- father, and we discussed everything before hand also. No wonder that ladies husband is complaining night and day...I would be complaining too! My son is going to be paying a small amount to live here.I will of course put that money away and give it to him when he graduates. (shhh, he doesnt know that part). I might be writing back soon to ask advice on how to deal with it..but I think we have laid good ground work. Keep up the good advice.
Gloria, You are the mother that every woman wishes they had. Your advice is sensible, practical, and relevant. You "tell it like it is," with compassion and care. I hope you will be on next season's show.
Hey Gloria! I could certainly use some advice! I'm 18 years old and have been chasing the same guy for over a year. We're always happy together, have everything in common, and I'm completely in love with him.... the only problem is, he's 31 years old. He says that he can't be with me because he's so much older but that he is in love with me. I can't move on when I'm still in love with him. So, the question is, how do I convince him that age has nothing to do with love, or.... how do I get over him? And which should I be trying to do? He's amazing, and perfect, and only looking out for me. But I'm not afraid of what people say or think. I'm only afraid that the norms of society will get in the way of my happiness. Let me know what you think. -Brownie.
hi there i'm so excited about having the opportunity to ask your advice.
if i were your daughter , at age 44 with a wonderful 10 year old boy, how would you advise me to look for and meet a good partner( husband ) we live in los angeles and unfortunately its hard to find a good man who wants anyone over 22 and model beautiful :(
take good care