How did you react when they arrived? You didn't specify who "they" were. Family, friends. acquaintances? That is a very important question. If they were people who you were close to, I would not take offense at all, but rather embrace them and encourage them to pitch in and help. If they were new acquaintances, I would not take issue, but refrain from inviting them again until they reciprocated. Don't get overloaded with minor mistakes. Life is too short. Better early than late! That is a dinner no-no!
I absolutely love your advice! That is why I thought I would take a chance and ask you you advice on how a 49-year old shiksa can find true love. I don't look 49, actually no one believes I'm 49, and I take very good care of myself. I have been divorced for over 25 years and have no children. I have dated, but just can't seem to find a good man. I have a good career in advertising and live in the suburbs of D.C. If you have any words of wisdom on how to meet a decent, caring, funny, God-fearing man, please let me know. If you don't...I still love your down-to-earth Motherly advice.
I wish I had a genie in a bottle, but I don't. I do know that sitting home is not the answer. Try taking up golf or tennis. Try one of the internet matchmaking companies. Over the years I am sure you have had opportunities to meet men and have dated. Unfortunately, the "right" one has not appeared. Keep trying. You never know. I wish you luck.
I've never had a serious boyfriend and I'm 21 years old. I have been upset lately that maybe I will be single forever since I haven't been in a meaningful relationship yet. Do you think I have reasons to worry that I'll never find someone?
You are so young to be worried about your future. Life is stretched out before you : romance, career, travel, and all that the world has to offer. Don't worry! Just enjoy life and expand your horizons. School, sports, travel, all have a place in your exciting life. Believe in yourself!
Happy (almost) Passover! I am a huge fan of yours and after the words of wisdom you gave Bethenny on the show I am thrilled to have the chance to ask you for some of your advice. I am a single Jewish gal (I actually grew up in Woodmere, NY like your lovely girls) and I never had a grandma around to have those special conversations I am sure you have with Ally and all of your grandchildren. Which is why I wanted to see if I could borrow some advice from you now, when I am at a sort of crossroads in my life. I am 22 and my mother has been hinting at my getting married. I have been away at college for four years and have never had a boyfriend. I have great friends, I live with six of the sweetest girls and all their boyfriends adore me like a sister, I have many guy friends but for some reason I never seem to be able to open myself to a man and let him know me like I let my friends know me. I am guarded and for so long I thought it was simply something I would grow out of but I am at a crucial time of my life and do not know how to take down this wall of mine and let myself love and be loved. I truly am ready, I just don't know how to go about letting myself be 'out there.'
Thank you for listening, Gloria.
Thank you for writing. You obviously have created a "wall" to protect yourself from getting hurt. Counseling is definitely in order asap. I don't have the answers you need to go to the next step. After counseling, if you feel you need someone to talk to, please write me again. This is not a cop out but a plea for you to get some help.
Wishing you well,
Dear Gloria, I have no question to ask, just a statement if you please. I wish you were my mother-in-law! lol My Mother died of breast cancer in 1981, when I was only 18. I am married to a wonderful man whose parents live only miles away from us, but my mother-in-law is as cold as ice. Actually both of my parents are dead, my Dad died a few years after my Mother. I just thought I would be accepted and my husbands parents and I would be close.... Just the opposite. I have been married to my husband for 15 years and now his parents are at the ages where they need us more than ever, he's 93, she's 88. I have bent like a willow to try and please them before now. They are wealthy, my parents were not as wealthy as them, and I feel like they may have thought I wansn't good enough, or was after the family fortune! They are really sharp in the mind! LOL, nothing could be farther from the truth. When I go over to help them and feel how weak and fragile they are my heart melts, my Father-in-Law is so nice, but my mother-in-law is NOT, not even to the people whom have worked for them for years. I know they are old and they hurt, but MY feelings hurt. I so wanted her to love me like I was her own and treat me as my own Mom would've treated me. But after 15 years, there is NO HOPE. I would love to know why she never liked me, but I know it is too late for all of that. Any way, it felt good talking to you. I'm not Jewish, that doesn't matter does it? LOL I think you are an amazing woman and you and your hubby have raised two remarkable women...They are so fortunate to have you both! Sorry for this to be so long! Thank You for listening!
Dear Gloria, First off I just want to say I always love it when you are on with your daughter Jill. You can tell her things that no one else would ever get away with! Jill is one of my favorites on "Housewives". Ok here's my question, I've been married twice, 18 years the first time and 10 years the second time they both ended badly. Do you think there are people who just weren't meant to be married? I really like being a wife, like knowing the man is obligated to be there in the morning when we wake up! Am I crazy or better off by myself? Thank you for your opinion in advance. Sincerely Yuksel
I met the man of my dreams 4 months ago! He is 49 and Jewish; I am 42 and Christian. The religious difference means little to me because we have deep respect for one another's beliefs. I tell you only so that you have a good background. This man is everything I never dared to dream of in a man and he makes me happier than I ever thought possible. I know that I want to be with him for the rest of my life. My children are grown; he has a young daughter, who I am sure that I will adore but it seems that we are not moving any closer to taking things the next level. I'm all for protecting his daughter and not involving her until he is 100% sure of his intentions. However, when we cannot spend more than one evening per week together due to busy schedules, how are we to move at all? I want to ask him if we can see each other more and become more significant in each other's lives but I am terrified to ruin what we have or to scare him away. Do you have any advice?
With a grateful heart, Hoping Against Hope
I need your advise on a friendship I use to have. I was friends with someone for over 15 yrs. He son and my son met in pre school when they were 4yrs. From thay time on we like sisters. Our families were very close not to mention our boys. We did every vacation together and holidays. It's been 4 yrs now that we don't talk. She ended our friendship. To this day I still don't know why. When this all happened I wrote her an e-mail and was honest and told her how I felt. Since that day we have never said a word to each in over 4 yrs.It has always bothered me.. My question is..My son and her son are still the best of friends and are now 21 yrs old. She lives a few street away from us. I see her alot in stores and when we go out to dinner. She's everywhere!It makes me crazy... People in my life feel I should reach out and try to talk to her and see what happens. They bug me about this so much that it's depressing! I go back and forth with it...Can you help me?
Dear Gloria, I have this problem, I went to meet a guy that I'm interested in and we hit it off really well and were pratically inseparable. Well after 4 wks I went to another state to go visit someone. I called him over the phone and was joking around and asked how much did he miss me a little or a lot. He got mad and said that my insecurity turned him off, and he has been really distant. How can I fix this situation and show him that I'm not insecure he is a really good man.
Dearest Gloria, I am sure you receive tons of e-mails but I do hope you might take the time to read mine. I have been dating a man for the last seven years!! I figure by now, I have a degree in him, ha ha. The issue is, he has never told me he loves me. He is unwilling to take it to the next level and I am at a point where I need to move on. I have two children ages 14 and 11. I would never live with him as I want my daughter to see that marriage should be the next step, not shacking up. I know I must be crazy to have lasted this long but I truly love him and we have had a wonderful relationship. He says he has closed that part of his heart and cannot bring himself to say the words. I think those words are important. I tell the people I love how I feel every day. I am an ex model and take good care of myself. He is not the end of the road or the universe. I am sure there are many great men out there but the thought of starting over again and "dating" is exhausting. What's the matter with me? How could I stay in a relationship with someone who does not absolutely cherish me? How could I stay with a man who will not say I love you? I live 2 hours outside of the city(NYC) there are NO available men here to date! I am not a bar stool kind of girl and most of my friends are happily married with no single friends. So, after all that dysfunction, my question to you is, if you had been with a man you loved deeply for many years but it is going no where, do you simply break it off and try to move on? Do I now start adopting cats and dogs? OR do I surrender to the fact that he will never marry me, tell me he loves me and continue to stay with him. I sound like a nut when I read this back to myself but I assure you I am not. If I was one of your daughters, what would your advice be? Thank you Gloria for any wise words you may send my way. xo Diana
Dear Gloria, I need your advice. I been married for past 14 years.Me and my Husband never kiss for past 12 years. The reason he said for not kissing,is that i need to reduce my weight. We have one kid. what shall I do ?...Leave or stay together just for my kid sake. Thanks
This is to Lynn S, My friend went through the same thing. Only the friendship was for a few years. But they did everything together, just like you..vacations, kids, and more. Then one day the friend turned away without any explanation. My friend tried everything to find out why...letters, calls etc. She even came close to stalking. My friend was really obsessed with this and I tried to help her figure out why this friend left and wouldn't discuss it. The only thing I could come up with was that it had to be something that the friend didn't want to admit to, either to avoid hurting her or because it was a petty, embarrassing reason. When it came to my friend, I came to the conclusion that her friend walked away because my friend probably made her feel bad about herself, inadvertently, of course (this was based upon many things my friend told me about her and, of course, knowing my friend, she had a lot going for her). 10 years later and it's still the same, so I think you may just want to chalk it up to the fact that this ex-friend of yours was the one who had the problem...not you. You seem like a nice person who really cares about people.
Dear Gloria I need your advice. I have been with my husband for 7 years, we have two kids and two careers. We suffer the same financial troubles as most middle class families, all of our own making. I don't feel like we struggle to get by, but we definately need to manage our spending better. Lately my husband has taken a very brash and abrasive reaction to our spending and our life style. He blames me when he spends money thinking that we have excess, then a bill is automatically deducted and we're left with slim cash flow until our next check. He also is very critical of how I care the house and kids. He seems very unhappy, when I beg the question he says everything is fine he's happy, and that maybe I am the one who is unhappy. He's just shifted overnight it seems. I feel like everything I do makes him mad or upset, he seems to take this out on me and my four year old daughter, but is over joyed around our infant son. Where is this coming from? Where are we headed?
Hi Gloria, I have a question that could use some solid advice. My neighbor and I have lived next door to each other for 17 years. In the past year this neighbor has opened up an auto repair business from his home. My home being right next to his as the only two homes in the back land of our agricultural/residential area. I have spoken to him about the noise because there are no hours of operation, he works 7 days a week until sometimes 1:00 am. The noise late in the evening keeps me up and the traffic ruins the road and leaves me no privacy. They parked all over my property until I put up no trespassing signs I knew that he didn't have the zoning to run the business but I found out that he has no license or insurance. He has also been dumping the waste in my woods. After putting signs up the neighbor is spreading lies to anyone who will listen. Do I ignore the bad names I am being called and just ignore the lies being told to the neighbors or do you think I should take further action? Thanks in advance.
I have been watching season 3 of the NY Housewives every Thrusday night! This cast is my favorite by far. This season has been such a shock. Especially since Jill and Bethanny are no longer friends. I was wondering if Jill ever came to you for advice on her relationship with Bethanny. I always considered Jill to be logical and fair. This season I feel she has changed. What advice would you give to her on her relationship with Bethanny and the way in which she acted. I still don't understand why she would run her mouth to everyone except for the one person she had the issue with. I feel like she acted childish and very immature. Every season she is always picking fights with someone, this season it happened to be Bethany.
I would love to hear your thoughts!!
Gloria, I think you are terrific. But instead of farming out advice for others, you really need to sit your daughter down and advise her. Her behavior this season has been awful. As a one time fan of hers, I am disgusted by her and her mean girl antics.
I have a terrible time talking to my boyfriend. He never wants to talk about anything, good or bad. It tears me apart because I want so much to share things with him but he always says that he isn't in the mood to talk. I'm afraid that this will drive a wedge in our relationship because I want so desperately for me and him to discuss everyday things as well as the serious stuff. Please help! I don't want to lose him but I do have expectations for our relationship as well as wants and needs and I want him to know what the heck is going on!!!
Dear Gloria, After watching the first few episodes of this seasons "RHONY" what advice would you give to Jill and Bethenny regaurding their fallin out and also of their behavoir thus far? What did you think of Jill and Luanne and the Speakerphone call and Jill's Email to Kelly?
hello, Gloris i have been married to my high school sweetheart for 41 yrs, we have had some wonderful yrs and some yrs that tryed our love and patince's my husband and i watch the show with such saddness this yr! please talk to not just your daughter but also to Bethanny as you know Friendship is one of the greatest gift one can have, seeing Bethanny cry broke our hearts, stop the maddest and be a peacemaker, i know that is one of your gifts!!! if any Mother can do it You can! Sincerely katherine
Gloria, can you comment on jill's behavior towards Bethanny? Bethanny should leave jill alone why does she want jill's friendship anyway - not worth it the way jill treats her. In this department, jill definately should grow up! what do you think?
Dear Gloria - I'm in a quandary. Been married for 20 years to a wonderful, kind, generous man who is a great provider and workaholic. Problem is - there has been no "umpf" in our marriage for quite some time. Recently, I met a professional man, who I must see on a regular basis. On our first meeting, I was swept away. I felt something in me that I haven't felt for years. I am so physically attracted to this man, and he is also very attentive to me. I know I don't get that at home and have had numerous talks with my husband about his lack thereof. I feel I could become out of control around this man and do something I shouldn't. I am NOT looking for a relationship - just the passion I once received. How terrible is one indiscretion? It's getting harder to control myself! Thank you. Tracece
While you are a strong woman with a solid sense of self, I wonder how Jill ended up so incredibly insecure, unlike you and her sister? Why does she still define herself, her relationships and her life by, and in, public venuues instead of that of a healthy, stong and atractive woman? How did that happen???
Pls try to make jill come to her senses she needs to forgive bettheny and she needs to b the person that she was in season 1 and 2 I don't know who she is anymore has money got to her and status or maybe stress from family health issues whatever it is I know you showed love for bettheny what happened to jill and bettheny beautiful friendship.....angel
Gloria, Please stop giving advice to strangers if you cannot advise your daughter about the lessons of forgiveness.
I have in-laws that meddle. And my husband thinks they are just being helpful. I have told him I wasn't was enamored or felt as obligated as he was with them. He doesn't want to hear this. How do you suggest I handle well-menaing,but unwelcome advise or comments from in-laws?
We love you! Your wisdom, beauty and spirituality are apparent in each episode you touch.
But please, Gloria, the behavior Jill displayed towards B. was not appropriate or kind or a reflection of the person daughter raised in your and Saul's love.
Of course, you are fiercely protective of Jill, and that will color your view but when someone comes to you, apologizing, crying, you must accept the apology. B was sincere, that much was very clear and Jill was hurt, that too is clear, but to walk away from the conversation to take a car ride with LuAnn was devastating to watch.
Perhaps, they can never even be friends again but Jill should have at least acknowledged the olive branch and accepted the apology.
I am very intersted to hear your opinion on this matter especially given your book coming out next week and the fact that you deal with these problems in your book.
Thank you for your time and look forward to your response.
Gloria, Please sit down and have a heart to heart with your daughter about her shameful behavior with Bethenny. I know she must have been filled with anxiety about Bobby, but she is holding a petty grudge and it is making her look ridiculous. I guess she really did need a hobby. Please stop fawning over LuAnn. The countess bit is ridiculous. My aunt grew up in Italy and she always reminds me that titles are a dime-a-dozen. LuAnn appears to be sophisticated, but she is indeed classless most of the time. I used to be such a huge fan of Jill and her seemingly big heart and down-to-earthness. Now I find her shallow, insipid, insecure, immature, and downright cruel. It's time to have a chat and set her straight! Just read her blog comments and see how many people agree!
Dear Gloria, What a thoughtful, wise, and emotionally balanced person I see when I read your responses.
Perhaps you could help Jill learn how not to see things in black and white and not to interpret situations she doesn't like as "against" her. She deserves to be happier and I fear without your guidance she will continue to burn her way through her relationships.
Sincere Truly, Pam
Gloria tell ur daughter to grow up and tell Luann to mind her business!!!!!!!!! Misery loves company!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Do you think that you could help your own daughter and stop her from being such a mean and spoiled brat?
Gloria, why didn't you tell LuAnn, to butt out, mind her own bee's wax, I love that, anyway, you should have told your daughter, to stop listening to LuAnn's jealous, advice, that relationship doesn't sound right. LuAnn's panic, was showing, and her manner's were not. LuAnn is not your daughter's friend, she's going to turn on her, watch. That's all I want to say for now. Take care, Grandma from S.L.C.
Gloria, Why don't you sit down and talk to Jill about forgivness. To have a friend is to be a friend. The way she acted at the photo shoot with you and her sister was gross to watch. I know add the sister to the show and dump Jill. Her mouth is too much this season. Adding up all the things she has done for a friend is a joke.
Hey Gloria - if you're suppose to be such an expert, are you going to comment on your daughter's obnoxious behavior or are you going to "hide" like Jill.
Do me a favor, tell her enough with the book promotion. She needs to apologize for her horrendous behavior.
I won't buy your book. How glaringly opportunisitic of you to write an advice book and have an advice blog when your grown daughter is such an emotionally immature nightmare. You should spend more time helping Jill to get over her need to hold on to grudges and slights. Your daughter talked to everyone but Bethenny about their issues. Is that the way you raised her? How can you let her continue to be such a jevenile? How sad for you that your daughter has shown the world how you failed as a mother.
Gloria, Don't you think it's time to talk to your own daughter before giving advice to others. I thought you were loving, kind beings. Now it doesn't look like it at all. What a self righteous, self centered, and (I'm sad to say)very shallow daughter you have. What was with all the eye rolling and "Moma's not happy" at the photo shoot? Jill has to be the star of the show when the three of you are together? I didn't realize what an ego problem she has until recently. Time to intervene if you can Dear. Someone has to put her on the right path if it's even possible.
Hello Gloria, I agree with the previous writer. Is there anything you can do to help Jill put people/relationships first as a priority in life? It is so difficult to believe she is your daughter. You present yourself as caring and giving and Jill is so... opposite. God bless you!
Isn't it funny how we give great advice to others but not so much to those closest to us. Advise Jill please.
Do you think you can teach your daughter some of the things that she obviously didn't read in your book? You must be so upset that she has reallly hurt the sale of your book. Nobody I know will buy it now. Too bad.
Hi Gloria I'm having a lot of trouble with my future mother in law! I know it may seem like a typical problem for most women, but my circumstances seem to be worse than normal. I do bite my tongue and show respect because of the fact that it is his Mother, but I am only human and I feel like my pride and dignity have been walked all over time and time again. My fiance has tried to address the problem several times, but she flips out and tells her entire family that we attacked her, and makes us look and seem like the bad guys! I am already at my breaking point and we have only been together for two years. The reason we do stay in contact with her is because we just had our first baby and it is her first grandchild. How would you handle this situation? I don't feel like I can continue to bite my tongue anymore.
Wow...You've raised a spoiled rotten BRAT that needs a time out or even better a spanking because she acting like a two year old!She is so mean this season. Being a mother myself I'd be embarrassed beyond words?
Glo - have you listened to your daughter this season? Her words: "Ambushed", "Attacked", "Sabotage", et al... She's obviously feeling defensive, insecure, and building walls around herself in a form of protection. I think Bobby's illness scared the daylights out of her - what would happen to her without him? Not uncommon behavior in human nature when one feels their stability, their safety, the essence of their whole world threatened. But, and this is a big but, left unchecked and unrealized Jill is victimizing herself through her perceived fear and destroying relationships. Please help her, Glo, you're the only one who can!
Hi Gloria, I've read the comments, and agree that Jill has been shown in a bad light, but having had a husband who died of cancer, I know what she went through. But she is so rigid and so angry. She really needs her Mom right now, and so does Bethenny, and last year you did "adopt" her, can't you do something to help them mend the bridges?
I'm in a real pinch. My grown daughter has the emotional maturity of a third grader. She's petty, spiteful and self-absorbed. What's more...
Oh, wait, I was channelling you. Sorry...
I lost 3 family members all with 1 year of each other..including a twin sister. I also wondered why several close friends were not calling. But then I realized we all have problems at one time or another at different levels. One friend was having problems at her job..sure not as bad as losing a family member..but it was something big in her life at the time..possibly losing an income. Aother friend was having marital problems..kept it private. Year later they divorced. So Jill needs to get over that Bethany did not call her. Jill is a poor excuse of a human being. I am so sorry she is your daughter. I would be ashamed of her. Its always all about Jill...poor me syndrome. Why isn't everybody's attention on me!....Tell your daughter to get over herself.
Gloria, my advice to you but be to resign immediately from writing this column and devote yourself 24/7 to your own daughter. I assure you she needs your help far more than anyone on this board does!
Your advise is pretty well taken but, I think that it would you need to apply this to Jill and leave it at that! How much are you being paid for giving advice, or are you looking to be discovered like Columbus?
Gloria...God bless you. You'r daughter is a card! Without you two on the show, it would be dull.
Get 'em Glo!
Hello Mrs. Gloria! As a mother, I have to say that the comments here are a bit harsh. I have two children that I have absolutely no control of when I am not with them. I can only influence them toward the path of righteousness and pray that they model the behavior that I have displayed in front of them. For anyone to say that you need to do something about your grown daughter, who is a mother herself, is just crazy! If you needed to do anything about your daughter, the time is long past. AND...who is anyone (especially a mother) to judge someone's child (grown or not)? You know the old saying, "You reap what you sow?" I refuse to sow that seed!
Wow, there are some classless remarks down there telling you how to raise your daughter. It makes me wonder about *their* mothers.
You've done a great job with Jill! The hardest thing in the world to be is vulnerable and she's shown her vulnerable side this season. I love her AND you!