Ask Gloria

Jill Zarin's mother, Gloria, responds to reader comments and questions.

Mar 29, 2010

IHi Emily,
How did you react when they arrived? You didn't specify who "they" were. Family, friends. acquaintances? That is a very important question. If they were people who you were close to, I would not take offense at all, but rather embrace them and encourage them to pitch in and help. If they were new acquaintances, I would not take issue, but refrain from inviting them again until they reciprocated. Don't get overloaded with minor mistakes. Life is too short. Better early than late! That is a dinner no-no!

Dear Gloria,
I absolutely love your advice! That is why I thought I would take a chance and ask you you advice on how a 49-year old shiksa can find true love. I don't look 49, actually no one believes I'm 49, and I take very good care of myself. I have been divorced for over 25 years and have no children. I have dated, but just can't seem to find a good man. I have a good career in advertising and live in the suburbs of D.C. If you have any words of wisdom on how to meet a decent, caring, funny, God-fearing man, please let me know. If you don't...I still love your down-to-earth Motherly advice.

Dear Zenoba,
I wish I had a genie in a bottle, but I don't. I do know that sitting home is not the answer. Try taking up golf or tennis. Try one of the internet matchmaking companies. Over the years I am sure you have had opportunities to meet men and have dated. Unfortunately, the "right" one has not appeared. Keep trying. You never know. I wish you luck.

I've never had a serious boyfriend and I'm 21 years old. I have been upset lately that maybe I will be single forever since I haven't been in a meaningful relationship yet. Do you think I have reasons to worry that I'll never find someone?

You are so young to be worried about your future. Life is stretched out before you : romance, career, travel, and all that the world has to offer. Don't worry! Just enjoy life and expand your horizons. School, sports, travel, all have a place in your exciting life. Believe in yourself!
Good luck,

Happy (almost) Passover! I am a huge fan of yours and after the words of wisdom you gave Bethenny on the show I am thrilled to have the chance to ask you for some of your advice. I am a single Jewish gal (I actually grew up in Woodmere, NY like your lovely girls) and I never had a grandma around to have those special conversations I am sure you have with Ally and all of your grandchildren. Which is why I wanted to see if I could borrow some advice from you now, when I am at a sort of crossroads in my life. I am 22 and my mother has been hinting at my getting married. I have been away at college for four years and have never had a boyfriend. I have great friends, I live with six of the sweetest girls and all their boyfriends adore me like a sister, I have many guy friends but for some reason I never seem to be able to open myself to a man and let him know me like I let my friends know me. I am guarded and for so long I thought it was simply something I would grow out of but I am at a crucial time of my life and do not know how to take down this wall of mine and let myself love and be loved. I truly am ready, I just don't know how to go about letting myself be 'out there.'
Thank you for listening, Gloria.

Dear Elizabeth,
Thank you for writing. You obviously have created a "wall" to protect yourself from getting hurt. Counseling is definitely in order asap. I don't have the answers you need to go to the next step. After counseling, if you feel you need someone to talk to, please write me again. This is not a cop out but a plea for you to get some help.
Wishing you well,