Love the show. Just read and love your book. I currently work as an RN. Scrubs have become part of my everyday life. However, over the past four years my husband and I have become part of an international European/American golf association. Having had the opportunity to travel to all regions of Spain, France and Canada has been life changing. I am still working on refining my home to a more casual European style and my own clothing style (other than scrubs). Entertaining friends seems overwhelming at times. Any suggestions on how to chill (keep waiting on that final antique french buffet for my dining room before I invite friends over). Any advice.

Luanne,

Is Nicole on Bravo's Work of Art your niece?

Dear Countess,
I have followed the show since its debut and have really enjoyed it. I recall that you wrote a book on ettiquette. Did you think that Kelly's remarks to Ramona to "Zip It" while on vacationwere appropriate? Ramona was the hostess and I am curious to know what you think. Please remember what the viewers saw after editing. I am just curious because you seem to have a better grasp on manners than many others.

Thank you
Tracey

Please consider doing your own jewelry line....I LOVE all the pieces you wear and think you have fabulous taste!!! Jennifer :)

LuAnn,

Watching you on the show, I started to see the type of jewelry you have been wearing. To night (April 22) I noticed your ear rings.. you are a Native American, I looked into eyes and I saw the real you.

here do me a favor, wear your jewelry, and the ear rings
now , where a feather in your hair. look in the mirror, you will see what I saw

I am going out on a limb here, i see you as a Sioux...

Dear Countess,
Is it appropriate to congratulate someone on their engagement and then in the next second scold them about a past altercation? Shouldn't the engaged person be allowed to have a night of happiness without being scolded for a past action? In my opinion the scolding would have been better for another time.
Also, what do you think of a person who says one things but then turns around and does the exact opposite such as talking about others behind their back.
If you are curious who I am talking about I will give you a clue, go look in a mirror!

I find it so amusing that you take so much of your identity from a title which you share with multiple ex-wives. I once read a statement made by a truly sophisticated NY women who said that if you use the word class, you don't have any. Very difficult to distance yourself from that when you have it on the cover of a book! You would be much more interesting if you would become a person who bases their self worth on who you are rather than on what you have gained from your ex husband.

Can you share where you get all your fab jewelry -- love the big southwestern cocktail rings and necklaces!

Dear Countess-
I have an important etiquette question concerning people inviting themselves to parties. The situation occured when a friend made a comment to another friend on facebook about a party she was having that night. Another mutual friend, who was not invited, made a comment that she would be there. What we will end up doing is inviting her into the hosts home graciously, but what if there was a reason she wasn't invited? How do you address this?

Thank you.

Best Wishes
xoxo

My husband purchased an aston martin not to long ago. He is ready to sell it, rarely been driven and in beautiful condition. It is the Aston DBS(the exact same one in the James Bond movie) please go to www.parkplaceltd.com, and click on events, and scroll down to unveiling of Aston DBS, and auto spa, and you will be able to see the pics of when they handed us the keys. If your husband is interested, you can email me..thnx! PS. You honestly have the most amount of class and fashion sense compared to the other ladies on Housewives. All the best in the next season.

Hi countess, I am a HUGE fan, but i live in Australia & can not view season 1 which i missed ( i am pretty sure you have aired season 2) do you know how i can get a copy of "your lives"
i tell you it is so nice to watch you all, when you feel like your life is soooooo dull.

:O) Hope they keep on coming
Regards Tiarna

Dear Countess,

The love of my life died in 2006 from a massive heart attack. He was only 51 years young. Since then, I have sent birthday, anniversary, and holiday cards to his brother's family. It was a tradition that my husband and I started when we met in 1995.

I have not heard a peep from his brother's family. Part of me wants to continue the tradition of celebrating happy events because it was important to my husband, but the other half of me wonders if the cards are an annoyance.

What do you recommend?

Thank you for help and advice,

Martha

Dear Countess,
I want to start off by saying what a wonderful book.I enjoyed it from page to page. I, too, am a nurse, but I ofen feel stuck in those darn scrubs. For example, I love to be dressed in an elegant manner.I am a stickler for good skin care. You only have this one skin , so plese take care of it. I so love the Theater and museums and travel.The U.K and Egypt are my absolute places thus far. Now, here comes my problem- changing my husband, even if just for a short time from his "wicked way" and by that I mean his dress code. He is a farmer in his free time. I need a few helpful hints that won't make it seem like I am trying to give him an instant makeover-ALTHOUGH- that, my lady, would be wonderful.IS there hope?

Kindley,
Emily

Hello LuAnn,

Would you be able to share who cuts your hair? It's fabulous!

Thank you,

Dina DeLuca

Dear LuAnn,

After a very formal dinner party is it proper etiquette for the hostess to call all of her guests the next day to see if they enjoyed themselves? My friend hosts these lavish and wonderful formal sit down dinner parties and calls each and every guest the next day. Should it be the other way around?

Thank you!

Dear Countess,

First off, you are my favorite housewife on the show! Your poise and elegance are breathtaking! I only WISH I had your sophistication and grace. I am reading your book and have found it very helpful for me, especially in conversations. Thank you.

I read about the challenges you are facing, and I want to say that you are handling it with your usual confidence and class. In my opinion, your husband's infidelity and dishonesty is a sign of poor judgment, but I wish all the best for you and your lovely children.

Here's my question. I have been dating a man for two years. He has very controlling and opinionated parents. They have told him that they don't approve of our relationship because he is younger than me. They have never reached out to ask me to a family event, have lunch, or even meet. I gave them a Christmas present last year and it was returned to me unopened. I bought them tickets to "Hamlet" and they never showed up.

How can I reconcile this issue? If I marry this man, there will always be this between us. HELP!

Thank you so much.
Kerri Reed

Dear Countess,
You are one of my favourites on the show. Good manners is taught from childhood and shows throughout life. Not enough people have them, I think your cast-mates could learn a thing or two from you!
I do love your designer jewellery, and ask if you care to share the names of the designers of the fabulous huge ring you wore at the reunion? Thank you!

Hi Coutess Lu Ann

I love your style. How is one of your favorite designers for everyday wear? Also I think it was on epiosode March 17 you wore a stunning large turquiose necklace and i love big pieces like that. Can you tell me who it is made by and where you can buy it.

Stay strong I look forward to nex season with you,

CINDY

Here in Houston all the ladies get long acrylic nails, etc. I noticed none of the high society ladies sport these and are natural or short. Is it considered declasse' to get them in your circles?

Thanks and I love your book!

Becky

I was very taken back by your comment to the young girl at the self-esteem workshop who indicate she aspired to be a model...your response was something along the lines of "you have time to lose the weight." This coming from the self-proclaimed queen if class. I sincerely hope that you apologized to this young, impressionable girl.

Dear Countess de Lesseps,

I have one question regarding finger foods. In your book you listed six that are appropriate to eat using your fingers. Ribs were not on the list. I have always thought it was appropriate to eat ribs with your fingers, was I wrong? This is my only question, as you answered everything else in your book. Bravo! A wonderful read.

Best Wishes,

Alexandra

Luann,

In one of the past seasons you wore a fabulous sheath dress. I believe it was charcoal linen - I loved this dress - it was lovely and you looked wonderful in it. I am looking for something similar - not to copy - however, I can't forget it. Any suggestions.

Ls in Ohio

Hi Countess:

A few questions that I have encountered recently:

1. When party guests bring wine to dinner (white instead of red) that you don't drink , is it ok to serve them that wine with dinner or should you have both types in your collection ready to serve and keep the gift for later?

Well, I guess that's the only one I can think of for now...

kevin

Dear Countess,

I have an etiquette question and I desperately need your guidance.

The company for which I work is small and every week the entire staff has lunch together. It's a great way for everyone to catch up with each other and discover what the various departments are working on.

My question regards a coworker's table manners, or lackthereof. This young woman brings her face to her food, chews and chomps loudly, and slurps her beverage and food. It's rather disturbing. Do I ignore her or pull her aside and say something privately? I'm not the only one who has noticed this. She also chomps on gum loudly, even when she's on the phone with clients. I'm afraid that customers will view our company as classless and crude. Your help is appreciated.

Thank you, Countess.

Dear Countess De Lesseps,

I have to say I addore your fashion and idea's on dating. I'm a gay male in Florida and have some question's that I hope you can answer. I'm 29 but very old fashion in my thinking of a great date. The problem is that I can seem to find a guy how thinks the same. I enjoy dinner and dancing, long walks on the beach and so on. I try to appear at my best at all times you never know who your going to meet. I guess my question is how and what do you think I should do to get that great first date? I have decide that I want to fall in love the old fashion way, I don't believe in sleeping with someone until we explore all aspect's of getting to know each other which lead's me to still being single lol. I know there is a difference in how we as the gay society verse the straight society. I just feel at this point any thing you can tell me is worth trying. Thank you so much for your time and hope to hear from you soon.

sincerly,
Anthony
Palm beach Florida

Hi,

I was wondering what your advice would be in changing GP's that are in the same practice? I was given horrible care which ended up with me in the hospital. I no longer trust my GP and would like to switch to another partner in the practice.

What should I do?
Thank you for being a great asset to the show!

Dear Mrs. de Lesseps,

Recently, I was mistaken for being pregnant at a dinner. I have had children and my body is not yet "normal". Being someone with a sense of humor, my first reaction was a laugh, then I realized I did not want to embarrass the woman who made the comment. Her exact words were "It must be very difficult to find clothes in your stage of pregnancy." Instead of correcting the respected scientist and author's mistake, I laughed and replied "yes, yes it is very difficult". I was with my mother who didn't say a peep, but she later said she was very proud that I did not embarrass the guest, though I had the opportunity. Friends of my mother who were at the dinner and may have been surprised at news of me "expecting" would later find out the truth without the public embarrassment of the guest. I would likely never see the guest again, but realized in the unlikely chance that I would, I could just privately tell her that I wasn't pregnant, just overweight.

I want to know what you think because "Dear Abby" is on record with the recommendation to tell the truth that you are not pregnant in an effort to put the commenter "in their place." Countess, I was not raised that the objective of good etiquette is to "put people in their place". I was raised that having class meant being calm and knowing how to show respect and how to be the recipient of respectful gestures. This is why I like your brand of etiquette and I want to know what you think.

Kind regards,
Deanna

Mrs. De Lesseps, You are one of my favorites on this show. I am inquiring about fund-raising, my daughter has been accepted to the People to People Student Ambassador Program,(www.peopletopeople.com) and has an opportunity to travel to Japan this summer. We have gotten sponsorship from family and friends, but she still needs more to complete her goal. The show does a great deal of fundraising and I would appreciate any ideas at this point, as time is of the essence. At this point, I am operating on a mustard seed of faith in attempts to help her meet her goal.

Hi Countess,
I wore a red sweater with a black skirt to my aunt's funeral. Do you think the red sweater was in bad taste?

Love your show.

XOXO
Lolalina

Hey countess,

I just want to say I like you. You are pure class.

Total beauty and you act like you dont even know it.

You seem totally cool and fun to hang around with.

Rock on sista friend!!

Bonjour Countess de Lesseps,

you are truly an insirational women. The way you always act with class and true elagance is wonderful. you are a good rolemodel for young girls like myself unlike some young women in nyc these days who get drunk and wear skimpy clothes. you always wear gorgeous clothes, with confindent smile. i hope you read this and get a little support, also i think your son is seriously adorable. so cuttee! thanks for listening, i hope to meet you one day,

all my support,
lauren

Dear Mrs. De Lesseps,

While I appreciate and applaud all of your efforts of bringing class back into our very unethical, ill-mannered society, I would appreciate it if you could take it a step further and refrain from using slang terms such as: ya know-, and like. Poised and graciousness speaks volumes in our vocabulary. I have been taught though many, many generations, Class can not be bought or sold. Well mannerism and respect is taught from our elders. I agree with you in that their has been a tremendous break down of respect in our society due to the lack of our sir names being addressed. Especially by our children for their elders.

In closing, I admire your children as they have the utmost class. You have done an excellent job and should be commended for this as I expect nothing less from mine. Perhaps you should focus your efforts more towards parenting. I feel you have a lot to offer our society in how to raise children. Good luck.

Bonjour Countess deLesseps,

You are such a pleasure in today's TV world! I have an etiquette question which I feel sure you will have an answer for; it is important for me as it comes up every year. In the late summer, early fall I spend about six weeks in Bretagne with a couple I am friends with. My friend's husband is very moody, unpredictable and can, in many cases, be totally hateful and rude. (Believe it or not, this character is a Count!) As I cannot drive in France, and we are in a rather isolated area, how should I address these situations when they occur? I have ordered your book - thank you for finally giving us something past 1971 Amy Vanderbilt. Merci beaucoup pour votre temps.

Countess . . . you have class. You are a class act. Shine on! You're example sparkles, as do you.

Best Wishes

Dear Countess;
My recent college graduate and 23 year old daughter is getting married May 22nd. We are paying for the majority of the wedding and have been clear from the start that we expect the groom's parents to pay for the rehearsal dinner.
This week, a mere 7 1/2 weeks prior to the wedding, we were told that the groom's parents are appalled at the number of guests invited to the wedding rehearsal dinner(there are 12 aunts, uncles and cousins attending from out of state we would like included). His parents have stated they think the rehearsal dinner should only be for the wedding party and their immediate family and said they could not afford to pay for 32 guests (though they just built a house in Hawaii).
What is the proper response to this new development? Do I honor the wishes of the grooms parents and "uninvite" my family? If so, how do I handle that gracefully? I have offered to split the bill with them, but am afraid that may create tension. My daughter is in tears about this, and I am just livid. Please help me with this impossible situation.

Sincerely,
Regina T

LuAnn,

All of the women in my office love the show. I started watching it this season and you are my favorite on the show. I don't know you, but if the show is true to the person that you are off screen, then you appear to be a very well rounded, classy person. I have seen you around the neighborhood as I live a block away. I think you look much more beautiful in person. I would love to meet you in person and get your insight on how you stay so well rounded and handle life with such class. I see that some of the people on this blog have been very cruel with their comments. I think they should buy a copy of your book the moment it comes out. I guess my etiquette question is "How do you deal with the obnoxious people who judge you without knowing who you really are?"

Dear Countess de Lesseps,

I am fifteen years old and currently in high school. I have a problem with the bond I have with my mother. Do you have any tips or ways to form a special relationship with my mother that will last? I would very much appreciate it!

Sincerely,
Fathomed in Florida

Dear Countess de Lessups,
I have been invited to a reception and dinner at an Embassy in Washington DC. I have never attended an event such as this. What are the key things you would recommend for me?
Thank you,
Pema

We were just watching the episode where you had lunch with your daughters friends and were wondering if it is proper etiquette to cut up your salad. You had expressed that is is inappropriate to cut up all of your food on your plate.

Dear Countess,

I want to thank you for all the work you are doing to benefit cancer research. My father died of cancer ten years ago, and my husband's family has been touched by cancer as well.

My etiquette question actually concerns my husband's aunt, who had been suffering for years with brain cancer. She is in remission, but continues to deteriorate due to the harsh radiation treatments that she received. She is no longer able to leave home.

Here's the etiquette part: My husband's sister-in-law has birthday parties every year for her children. She sends Auntie an invitation, but she neglects to mail it until two days before the party! She has done this more than once and her excuse was that "Auntie can't attend anyway, but I just wanted her to know she was included." Well, that is not including her! Receiving an invite the day before the party is so rude! I think it just adds insult to injury to treat our Aunt with such disrespect! Its hard enough to mantain one's dignity when terminally ill, and then to be treated like that! We know that it hurt Auntie's feelings, my question is, should someone say something to my husband's sister-in-law? If so, who should be the one to approach her? I'm not sure that she will even understand since she sees nothing wrong with what she's done! What to do?
Thank you,
Dianne

Dear Countess,

What is the proper way to make introductions? Do you introduce the person you are with to the person you meet or the person you are meeting to the person you are with? How about if you are introducing someone to your boss, parent or relative?

Thank you,
DJ

Your constant reference to class makes it self
evident that it totaly eluded you.....if you must declare it on every occassion then....guess what....you don't have it....

Hello LuAnn,

What is Alexandre's profession or vocation? Is he a trained doctor or lawyer? Thanks!

Countess...first and foremost, you are, by far, my absolute favorite of the Real Housewives of NYC! Secondly, I have a beautiful picture that my nephew forwarded to me of the two of you! You kindly consented to have your photo taken with Kevin, who attends NY Maritime. He spotted you at a venue in Manhattan and you demonstrated such grace with his request! Bravo.

Thirdly, I am curious...how did you possibly refrain from dumping the romaine lettuce you were arranging (during the Cancer Society Benefit you were participating)on Ramona's head while she spewed the most insulting comments about your husband? Where did this woman come from? Is she out of her mind? In front of your child???

Fourthly, I must congratulate you on the incredible reserve and class that you demonstrated with the situation.

Fiftly, they are extremely fortunate to have you participate in this series!

Regards,
Jo

PS And, Betheny, you "should" assume the Countess comes along with elegance and class. After all, her very handsome husband did select her to become his wife! You really need to work on your class level!

I work at Company, here in the USA that is owned by a French gentlemen and the CEO is also French and lives here in the US. I find the whole Countess thing kind of funny. My Boss and his wife are also a Count and Countess, and I call my Boss and his wife by their first name. And the people in factory calls them by thier first names..

I've just seen two showes this year and I liked you better last year..hmmm maybe when you finish writing your "manners" book you will read it and then apply it to your own life!!

COUNTESS !!!! that cracks me up !! I didnt think we had countesses and counts in the US eeeek !!! ok choking from laughing to hard gotta go !!

Countess deLessups,

I work for LIM college right here in NYC. I wanted to have a dinner party/table etiquette program for my residents and was wondering if you interested in coming or even presenting? We want our students to have the poise and grace when out in the buisness/real world. At the moment we are putting together a program for networking and how to work a room, if you are also interested in that we would love your input.

Any help and or assistance would truly be appreciated.

Thank you.

Dear Countess,

First let me say that I LOVE the show! Now down to the nitty gritty. I have a dear friend (also my boss) that has SERIOUS bad breath. It has not always been bad. It's only been the last 6 months or so. She is well aware of it. Her sister, husband and myself have told her about the problem. I suggested that she call her doctor because it might be a medical problem going on since it's only been in the past 6 months that she's had it. She is an EXTREMELY sensitive woman and will cry at the drop of a hat. I've given up telling her because of how sensitive she is but every morning at work when she gets in she comes over to my cube to chit chat for a little bit before we start our work day. She doesn't even have to get close to me and I can smell it. I just don't know what else to do at this point. I do know that I can't even stand to chat with her because it's so bad. Another HORRIBLE habit is she chews with her mouth open and smacks her lips as she's chewing. I know that's a big pet peeve of yours from the show. Any advice you could give on both subjects would be greatly appreciated.
PLEASE HELP,
BLOWN OVER WITH BAD BREATH

Dear LuAnn,

The true measure of a lady or gentleman is to always be thoughtful of the feelings of other people; NOT knowing which fork to use. You really need to remember that one simple rule in the future if you truly would like to consider yourself a lady of manners. A fine example of your lack of consideration was when the young lady at your luncheon looked to you for help regarding the cutting of her meat during a meal, and instead of answering her kindly and simply, you ridiculed her for even asking the question. You made her feel very small and that is not good manners!

Jacqueline

Countess deLessups,
Please settle this contentious point between my husband and myself......REVOLVING DOORS. He maintains standard proceedure applies...women first. I insist he should go first to push the door.

Countess Luann de Lesepps,

I am very happy to see you as part of The Real Housewives of NYC series. I am a big fan and you are my favorite out of all of the housewives. I wish everyone could exude class, sophistication and elegance as well as you do. I know people are not very tactful in the comments they say about you being a Countess, but I can tell that being a Countess is fun but not an easy job. I know you do good in the world and I appreciate what you do for humanity and the world. Every day I strive to exude class, sophistication and elegance just like you do, when I know many people in the world do not. People have asked me if I think I am better than everyone because I act proper and I am well mannered and I say, "It is not about being better than someone, it is having better manners than the persons around me and that does not make me better than someone it makes me a better person."

Thank You for all that you do!
TRHONYC Fanatic