Dear Countess,

I have recently moved to Florida with my husband of 13 years so we can be closer to his children and grandchildren, unfortunately that also means we are close to his ex-wife and her husband. We all get along really well but she thinks she and her husband should always be invited to our house for parties when we invite the kids..I usually do but sometimes I would like to have gatherings just for us and the kids like she sometimes does with them without inviting us. How do I handle telling her that we want some private parties with the kids? Mrs S

Countess, You are my very favorite Housewife. The reason I feel that was is becasue I an old quote my grandmother shared with me," that in times of trouble, you must hold yourself with the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child." Luann, you remind to always be gracefully and dignified. Right now, I am feeling very childish. I was just inviting on a luxury vacation to Anguilla for a Sales Awards trip by a guy I known for a while, but he wasn't nothing serious from me. I have celebrate his wild success and the fact tha his company just went Public and I have out of work looking for a software job since Dec. I jealousis I his success when I am barely keeping my head above water. I this trip on know I keen to ever so pleasant and happy, and I can't let me personal aignst show. I can I come out of this tropical dream vacation looking like a graceful women and really happy for and not show what really going one. I think I'm also a little sad know that once the trip end, so does he atention. I'll take any advice please. Thank you very.

Dear Countess,
I am hosting a beach party and a friend asked if another couple( who have not seen or spoke with in nine years) could attend. I think that I am going to have to let her know that "another time" would be better. I love the more the merrier, but this would take me away from other guests by playing "catch-up". What are your thoughts?

Countess,

When at dinner,banquet,or luncheon and you are served iced tea without a teaspoon at the table setting what do you use to stir your tea if you want to add sugar. What if the waite staff is not able to provide you with a spoon.

Dear Countess, I am looking forward to your book and feel it too will be a best seller. You have great presence and poise. Dont let the other women drag you down, stay tall and with your personal style and beliefs. I think it best not to have mentioned the email from your husband. Its personal -of course your angry- but it was not your usual -post of honor, privacy and grace to discuss your personal life on National television. I would keep as much distance as possible from all of the women- they are all terribly two faced and Romoaia is just plain frightening- she openly states she gets even with people. Very unhealthly.Take care and remember , do not let them bring you down to their level. diana

Dear Countess,

My husband has a group of close friends he has known for over 30 years. One of the friends recently sent "the group" an e-vite to celebrate his recent and prestigious accomplishment. The event is to be held at a local catering/banquet hall. OK, so here is the issue..... The invitation starts out by explaining since the host cannot afford to do a party any other way he must ask that each guest pay a portion of the cost. Further down in the invitation it becomes clear the party is not a private party for "the Group" but rather a high school reunion party that is absolutely unrelated to the host or anyone in "the Group". Since the reunion party had a low response to attend, our host thought it would be a good idea to combine both parties (guest and funds) to cover the expenses.....My husband is unsure what to do. Overlook the tackiness and go to the party, or decline the party, but offer to take him to dinner. What would you do? Thank for your help. Best Regards, Lhana

hi luanne,
Ithink you are the vaery best housewife you have class manners etiguette, and you are not a phony or bacstabber.
I WOULD LOVE TO MEET YOU IF YOU ARE EVR IN THE NASSUA area please post it.YOU are beatiful and gracious.as for the other nyc.housewives they need heavy meds and lots of therapy. ha ha

stay beautiful

dear countess,
my 6 year old son went to one of his classmate birthday party. Instead of buying a gift I put a $20.00 in the card. do you think it was appropriate. please let me know.

PS: I love you in the show

TO NOT A COUNTESS BUT-

Thanks for replying. I don't think she really understood my question, but you did. I did end up using the cards for everyone whom I thought needed to be thanked, so hopefully I made the right judgement.

Countess,
I watch your show every week and one of the episodes I heard you make reference to the fact that you are American Indian. I was wondering from what tribe and if you were raised in your Native Community. I logged on and seen that a fellow Native asked you what tribe that you were from so that answered part of question. I am still wondering if you were raised in your Native Community. I have to say that as I watched tonight’s episode I was shocked that for a Halloween party you had dressed up in what appeared to me to be some sort of a stereotypical "Indian" costume. By watching that episode it appears that you are very disconnected from your Native Ancestry.
Sincerely,
Disappointed Viewer

I had the pleasure of meeting and spending time with Princess Diana several times, before her untimely death.

As you can imagine, she was always the picture of decorum and graciousness. Always friendly and warm. The first time we met, she introduced herself simply as "Diana". She never stood on ceremony and certainly did not allow anyone to call her Princess or Lady. Which were her rightful titles at the time.

You're an American (of Native American decent as you like to point out), reared in a country that was founded on the LACK of aristocracy, class devision and royalty. And yet you insist people refer to you as Countess and correct anyone with a pulse.

Two things.

How is an archaic European title pushed on unwitting and uncaring Americans considered gracious and well mannered?

And what gives with the obsession?

Anne, I'm sorry for your loss and what I think you were asking is, who is it appropriate to thank with a card, as opposed to the gratitude I'm sure you expressed to many of them in person. Our family talked about this when my dad passed away and we wanted to thank, with a card (with all apologies to funeral homes we didn't use their cards but found really lovely blank cards at Ross and another discount store in town and used those) everyone who sent flowers, sent or dropped off food, the hospice workers, the women who arranged the funeral dinner-- when in doubt, we sent a personal, hand-written card. I don't know that anyone except those who sent plants or flowers expected to be thanked, but many, many of them mentioned later how much they appreciated it. Where the heck were YOU raised, Countess? "So sorry to hear." and what a lame attempt at sarcasm with someone who has suffered a loss. "Why not use them to say thank you." Uggggh.

Countess,

For the most part I love you, but I have to tell you as a person who has struggled with their weight since childhood I found it sad and disheartening for you to make the comment to that beautiful girl about her weight. Maybe she will grow up to be the first plus sized S-U-P-E-R model. She might already have self image and self esteem issues. It was not nice.

Everyone loves to hate this show and the Countess is one of the reasons people tune in. Its akin to people watching Ex. President Bushes speeches in anticipation of the next idiotic moment. Her book shouldn't be class with the countess it should be EGO with the countess. Classless people think they are better than others and try to remind you of it in ways they think are subtle. Countess its like watching you club people over the head with your vanity and lack of couth and it keeps me in stitches. I just wish you didn't inflict it on unsuspecting young girls; however hilarious their incredulous looks were. Take a deep breath and realize you took the place of a speaker that might have had something to say; like a doctor, lawyer or writer. Those are the titles that matter and your posturing, however amusing, sickens me and I wish they would kick you off the show.

Well we know what your answere is to me. But your conduct
on this show has not show me that you know anything about manners, The things you say to people and your behavior.

You may fool a lot of people who are afraid they will make a mistake because of something that has happened to them, but you are the last person I would ask. Just sit back and look at yourself, especially the way you take things, you are a taker, and think other people owe you something. You walked off and left Bethanny to pay for your surfing lessons, you were the last person who should have call for quite at the affair
where you were being honored, Your talk about weight was
misguided.
Helen

Countess LuAnn,
I am a big fan and a supporter of your cancer society charity work. My father died of cancer when I was very young and I volunteered for the American Cancer Society in college. I am a graphic and layout ad designer and I think that high end stores could use a really cute donation ornament that you sponsor. I think boutiques in NYC and the Hamptons could ask customers when they check out if the would like to donate $10 to the cancer society and for their donation the store would put their name on a cute board w/ their name pinned up or I could design a cute beach bag/green grocery bag that their signature would be put on in a very high-fashion mod way.

I have some ideas, let me know what your feedback might be...If you have time.

Sincerely,
Sarah DeMartino
a big fan of your style and absolutely love your living room in your townhouse.
(31 from Saint Louis, MO.)

I am planning a college graduation party for my daughter. Is it proper to include the party invitation with the graduation announcement? The invitations were professionally printed, but are a little bit larger than the announcement. If both can be sent together, would it be acceptable to use the larger envelope from the party invitation as the outside envelope?

Thanks for your advice!

LOl @ the plate-stacking thing- although I wouldn't do it at a person's home I DO stack plates at restaurants if they do not take them away quickly enough when I am done- it bugs me to have dirty plates w/ soiled silverware etc in front of me so I stack them out of the way to rid my place setting of them.I'm very glad my table foibles never caused a rift among family... I guess we all need a little help now & then with our manners :-). Also very sorry to hear about your divorce- I hope there is a chance you & the Count can find commom ground & work things out. Love ya Mrs Luann De Leseppes!

Luann, I know you were not mean at all when you told that girl to lose weight.It was said in a very matter of fact way and was not unkind at all.I wish you and your children good luck in going through your divorce. Noone deserves to be told via E mail.I hope you will reach out to friends and family if you need help in any way. We all need moral support from time to time.

Hi Luann,

I would really love if you were to do a beauty book. You are STUNNING! Your makeup is always consistently fantastic (the other wives are hit and miss). I love your complextion - it's so radiant! Please divulge what your beauty regimen is!

LuAnn,

I have to telly, I am a 37 year old straight white male who is semi embarassed to say I watch, but I do. You are actually the only "Real Housewife" who gets it. Your charm, sophistication, wittiness and class certainly swing you past youe suborrdiates any day. I enjoy your work and since the recent "news" I wanted to let you know, Im 6'1, 195 lbs. Im an executive in the hotel business. I would love to show you the time of your life one evening or afternoon. We would have a great time...lunch outdoor in NYC, the possibilities!! Continue the good work young lady.

Bob D.

LuAnn

I think people are quick to judge you by saying that you are pretending to be well-mannered and educated because you married a count. Whatever happened to being well-mannered off your own accord?

I like that you are proud of your heritage and are not afraid to carry yourself with dignity despite it.

Countess,

Thank you so much for noting the "don't" of stacking plates at the table. Why do people always insist on doing that? It is a huge peeve of mine and was the cause of a rift between my mother in law and me at Easter brunch this past Sunday.

Cheers!

I have to laugh at the numerous spelling of the word"ettiquette" in everyone blogs..lol I quess no has spell check.

LuAnn- I do really like you. I think the whole book thing has gotten to your head. It's all you talk about every episode.
I think it is very nice you want to help people but stay away from impressionable children,the fat comment was humiliating and very unnecessary, i am sure the little girl knew she was overweight.
stick to helping overpriveledged brats who dont appreciate everything they have they could probably use your ettiquette book.

LuAnn,
Why would any children want you to come to their school?
Your countess title means everything to you only...
What would you have to offer if you were not a countess.
Not one thing!

Hi LuAnn. I saw your trip to the self-esteem meeting for young girls. While your efforts were laudable, your altruism is not entirely masking some of the rude remarks you make. For example, the girl who you said was very pretty and "had the basics" probably would have been happy with that. Yet you continued with a comment about how she "could lose weight anytime" or something along those lines. DID YOU REALLY SAY THAT AT A SELF-ESTEEM MEETING? Maybe you should have devoted more time to instilling confidence in those young ladies rather than telling them to lose weight.

RE: your visit to S.M.A.R.T. in Brooklyn - did you HAVE to mention that sweet young lady's weight? did you HAVE to go there? being someone who has battled weight my entire life I almost KNEW was was coming . . . I was cringing/praying the second the young lady said she wanted to be a model . . . i was PRAYING you wouldn't do it . . . but you did. not only did you undoubtedly embarrass her in front of her peers but who KNOWS how many people saw the show and heard your weight remark. what chapter would one look to in your new book on HOW TO REPLY TO AN IGNORANT REMARK ABOUT YOUR WEIGHT? outstanding job, luann, really. job well done. (do those kids a favor and DO NOT GO BACK).

Countess,

Your visit with the young ladies was a gracious act. Everyone benefits from positive motivation and regardless of one’s station in life, kind words and actions are always appreciated.

to the countess,
To me you are just like Camila, just because you marry royalty, it doesn't give the right to pretend to be well educated. I met more people that are not rich that have better manners than you.

I think Trish is right one,I thought you were there to bring those girls up not down!!I can't believe you would say that to that poor girl about her weight what is wrong with you maybe you should think about what you say to KIDS,and ettiquet I think you should watch yourself and how you are with people before you every try teaching anyone ettiquet!!You are so fake they should find someone to take your place that don't act so fake and enjoys spending time with children that can bring them up in life and not brake their spirt and enjoys being there with or without the camras!!

Last year I thought you were a little more "real" don't know if the whole "ettiquet" thing went to your head, but when you told that 9 year old that "losing weight was the easy part" I litteraly choked on my drink. Anorexia and Bulemia are to very serious consequences to our society in which thin equates beauty and success.

Despite all of this I do like you...you have moments when your not trying to be "the countess" that you seem real, get over the fact your on camera and just be you, I think you'll be appreciated by many more people.

Lastly, sorry to hear about the split...this show is dumb in comparrison to your life, and I wish you all the best with your kids and your future.

I was very upset when you went to the school to talk to those girls. You have absolutly nothing incommon with them. What were you trying to achieve?? If you look at the girls faces, they don't give a heck what you are saying. That whole espisode was a joke. You looked like and idiot. Your comment to the girl who wants to be a model, please you were soooo fake. What makes you such a pro about ettiquet? You are no different than me, all because you married a Count???? Please....

I really think your funny! You are not even trying to be are you?