Hang in there!!!

Countess, can you give us your top Do's and Don't for being a Party Guest? We would like to share it with our readers at http://partybluprintsblog.blogspot.com/ .

Thanks! Dawn Sandomeno Partybluprints.com

Luann, Props on putting your $ where your mouth is and being Proactive with your Volunteering on camera. Unlike the other Meshugenneh Narcisists on the show, you make a difference.

Dear Countess, I hope this message finds you well. I wanted to drop a quick note to say how thrilled I was to see you visiting the Boys and Girls club on the latest episode of RHNYC. You are a lovely role model for us all! All the best to you! Keep doing the wonderful things that you do! Paisley

My comments never make it on to any of the Blogs.. But, I will try again... LuAnn.. Why would you go to boys and girls club to talk about self esteem and things you like about yourself to the girls then make a comment about losing weight to the young lady that said she aspired to be a model.. 10 years old.. HMMM, we wonder why young ladies have issues with their bodies.. Sometimes I wonder who you really are.

Oh good God...would you get over the fact you're a freakin countess! Honestly...no one cares. Thank God Bethany and Jill are on the show because you make me not want to watch it!!

Lu,

You don't mind if I call you Lu do you? Doesn't matter.

I thought that when you went to the Boys & Girls Club it would be something that would lift their spirits but you had to make a very rude comment {about her weight} to the girl who wanted to be a model. I was shocked at you said that & it was very insensitive of you! You are writing a book on etiquette? Maybe you should read one before you counsel others on manners!

I can understand that you are proud of your title and your husbands title but... get off the "I'm a countess" high horse, WE GET IT ALREADY! Everybody knows {and most of the viewers don't care} so you can shut-up about it NOW!!! When you deem to talk to us commoners do try and remember your manners by practicing what you preach!

African American women have to contend with a beauty myth the utterly negates us as desireable women. It all starts when someone looks at a little girl the way you did when that precious child told you she want to be a model. Even before you impliedly called her fat, the look of confusion on your face when she said she wants to be a model said it all. Not very countess-like at all.

Luann, I agree that you are a wonderful role model because of the fact that you are self confident and you are never mean. I think your advice is always sound.

Dear Countess (LuAnn) I don't like to see viewers knocking you down for being proud of what you are and what you do. I am quite sure that whomever is watching the show would gladly take on the title of Countess if they had the opportunity to do so. Also, taking the time to go over to the Boys and Girls Club was a nice gesture. They are young and very impressionable and I feel that you are a great role model for them. Ok, the little girl that mentioned about being a model, I know that was a little hairy regarding her weight, but once being said, I feel you handled it fine. Keep up with what you are doing. I would like to meet all of you some day. Take care, Deb from Connecticut

To sit at a table of underprivledged girls and tell them that your husband's family built the Suez Canal...woman, get a grip. I could see their eyes glaze over thinking "what the eff is a suez canal".

My husband and I have been married 9 years and have 2 different residences in two states because of our kids from our first marriages. We have been traveling back and forth for the last 9 years spending maybe a week together every 3 weeks. I recently went to his state for a few days' visit, then when it was time for me to come back to my state, I was in the airport gate when I got served with divorce papers after a weekend of us being together and him making love to me that weekend, with no warning, no conversation over the whole weekend of any problems. He knew he had filed for divorce but never said a word all weekend! Am I wrong to be angry, confused, wanting some kind of closure? He never let on that weekend that anything was wrong. He never said a word to me. He had sex with me! Yet he knew that he was going to have me served at the airport when I left that weekend! I do now have an attorney...I'm just wondering if I'm being unreasonable by being angry at him and the way he handled all of this!? Please give me some of your classy advice.

Ok I am watching the episode where you went to the boys and girls club to talk about confidence to young girls. You were talking with a young lady who wanted to be a model and the last thing you said to her was at least you can always loose weight. I thought that was very tacky and the total opposite for the reason you were there. If you left it at your have a gorgeous face and your nice tall it would have been sooo much better.

I cannot believe that you told a sweet, young child to lose weight! I just watched the latest RHNY and saw your lecture on self-esteem. What you did to that little girl was heart-breaking. Shame on you. Just because you have money does not mean that you have class.

I'm a little confused. I thought you were supposed to answer people's questions in this blog. It doesn't look like you answered Renee's question at all. I think you just like to hear(in this case read) yourself talk.

If you want to establish credibilty ..... try talking less about how much you know or the status you believe you've obtained. People of substance and wealth rarely talk about their own substance and wealth. Those people have historically been known to be humble and demure exuding quiet confidence.

Dear Countess,

I am beyond peeved when people trash you. You are the epitome of restraint and grace. I am also certain that, at times, the editing the producers do of this show works to make you look less than graceful. I actually do hope you consider not appearing on the show should they do future seasons, as it is absolutely clear that you are fulfilled by the charity work that you do--you are the ONLY one who has shown various charitable activities, putting your money and title where your mouth is.

There is something to be said for words coupled with action. I wish you the absolute best: fulfillment, peace, and renewal.

Yours,

A fan

Luann, I think you owe that little girl an appology. You embarassed her in front of her friends and the entire world for that matter. You should also offer some kind of explanation to those that have looked up to you. Please show that you have class and are willing to right a wrong as that comment was clearly uncalled for.

Dear Countess,

I wish you the very best as you navigate through new waters in your life. You are fiercely strong with a very sweet spirit. I know you authentically live out your convictions with grace and poise. Some misunderstand your desire to teach others to conduct themselves more civilly with fellow human beings as conceit. You have a genuine desire to bring back simple kindness and respect for one another in a mad, mad world. All the more sad that you and your children should be treated so disrespectfully by your husband. I "Count" him a common philanderer, not worthy of a gentlewoman such as yourself.

A fellow Native American sister

Hi LuAnn,

You are a sweetheart and so is Jill. I would love to see a rematch with the two of you as partners. It's great that you are trying to be a mentor to these young girls. Best of luck.

Where's the etiquette in calling a little girl fat?

Wouldn't your son be a Viscount and your daughter a Contessa?

I'm an African American woman and I saw the episode at the Boys and Girls club and I feel your comment was right on target. Part of teaching self-esteem is teaching self-care and self-respect. Young girls need to learn early to take care of themselves because there are life-long, health issues that can result if you don't. The girl said she want to be a model, but she was morbidly obese at 10! I felt you were kind and frank and if she wants to model, she will do the work to get there which includes losing weight. We live in the real world and even plus-size models need to be fit. Self-esteem isn't all about feeling good. It's also about taking responsibility for who you are. Love you, LuAnn! Keep doing what you're doing.

Luann, Of all the NY Housewives you have always been my favorite. Most classy. I just learned about your split from hubby. I know you will get through this and come out even better. Stay strong. From a former New Yorker

Countess as you so like to be called.Way to go telling a ten year old little girl she needs to lose weight.I felt so bad for that child.Newsflash Countess you're not as classy as you think.

Good Lord ! I just cant stand when people think hey are so much better than everyone else, and have nothing really to back it up Get over it Too late for you to come down to earth though

To "Tracy" who said Luann owes that girl an apology - you are a MORON Tracy. Luann did the right thing - she would have been a liar if she ignored the white elephant in the room - the fact that that little girl was obese and nowhere near model material. And Luann DID dignify her by calling her pretty or beautiful.

It's that little girl needed a dose of reality. It's great to dream and think big, but you have to have an ounce of realism. I respect Luann so much for not lying yet being tactful.

You really want her to tell a 250 lb kid that she would make a great model? I would hate to have you as friend.

I applaud the countess' work with young urban girls. However, I am concerned about a comment made to one of the girls who stated that she wanted to be a model. The countess said something to the effect of "...you have time to grow. You have a beautiful face and it's easy to lose weight." Whether or not the young lady needed to lose weight, was it really necessary for you to say this when this girl was just stating her aspirations? As the mother of a teen daughter who has recently been diagnosed with an eating disorder, I often wonder if it was this type of flip, offhand remark that could have been the catalyst for this demon that we are now fighting. Countess, please continue to do your good work, but I urge you to filter what you say - it is the graceful thing to do.

Luann.. you seem like a nice person so get over the fact that your a Countess.. who cares? its not the title that makes the woman but the person.. whenever you freak out over the whole title thing you seem very pretenious and deep down I don't think you are.. so let go and loosen up a little woman!

Luann, I can't believe what you said to the girl at the Boys and Girls Club about being a model. There was no need to address her weight whatsoever, you could have left it at complimenting her face and her height. As if young girls aren't self-conscious enough about their weights, you had to go and make a comment about her weight on national television! I would be mortified if I were her. Wasn't the whole point of you going there to help their self-esteem? For someone who claims to have so much tact, you failed on that occasion.

Countess,

I love the fact that you spend time encouraging the "less fortunate". I was a bit appauld at your arrogrance at the meeting with the young inner city girls. I am wondering if the young girl who wanted to be a model or the one who said she wanted to be a babbtsitter were encouraged by your comments and giggles.

Countess, I just love you and I think it is very appropriate for you to be writing a book on manners. With each generation it seems manners dissipate because no one is educated on how to act or interact with other people. It's sad that some people don't even know how to set a table properly, let alone know how to be gracious to others in social settings. Manners say a lot about a person and the great thing about manners is that you don't need to have money... doesn't cost a cent! It's all about education. All a person need do is educate themselves and they can get along with anyone in the world. Everyone says they want their children to be successful but that's near impossible if that child doesn't learn good manners.

Countess, You are a class act, very generous and real. I don't know if it's in your DNA, but you should give up on Kelly sooner rather than later. My take...you want to help her grow as a person and it will never happen. You would make a great ambassador. I'm a fan of our new president and you would be an asset to him. What, when and where? I don't know...I just know I'm right about you. That's my two cents.

Countess, Out of all of the cast I would have to say you're the only one I would say I admire, with your class and tenacity. I'm sorry to hear about your recent happening and know you will come out a better person through it all. I wish more people would look to you for more advise to bring some class back into the younger society. All my best- Bill

Luann, I watched you at the Girls and Boys club and was disgusted with your condescending attitude toward those girls. As an African American woman and mother, I would NEVER let you speak to my child about self esteem. What you said to that little girl was a disgrace. You should have stopped when you told her she had a beautiful face. Maybe you couldn't see past your title and money that those girls were not relating to you. Stick to writing your little etiquette book. Leave the self-esteem building activities to people who look beyond the physical, money, and material things. I have lost all respect for you. You get no props from me, Countess.

Luann, I don't understand why you continue to dwell on the fact that you're a Countess? Who cares? You married into that title. You weren't born with it. I agree with Bethenny. If you were Luann Lipschitz, you wouldn't be talking half the crap you're talking now. Get over it already.

Countess LuAnn,

Every week (yes, unfortunately EVERY week) you have me scratching my head in wonder as to your credentials for writing your "to be published" book on etiquette.

Every week you show folks what NOT to do. Off the top of my head: 1. You do NOT talk about a little girls weight as you did and plant a seed for a future of anorexia (or bullimia for that matter. 2. You do NOT call attention and rant on and on over your assertion of someone elses rudeness ( A classy lady would never answer rudeness with rudeness - EVER) It was quite clear that Ramona misspoke, she realized that and was clearly apologetic. Your behavior was over the top, you embarrassed your own daughter further. You answered a faux pas with rudeness and unladylike behavior. 3. Bethany is not a 16 year old girl going out on her first date, nor an old maid who genuinely needs and ASKED for dating advice(the operative word here - ASKED. Finally, etiquette calls for graciousness in the face of everything. Now, I could certainly be called out myself for calling attention to your impertinence, but, since you are on television for the world to see (and perhaps your book hasn't gone to print just yet) we may be able to salvage the book, and possibly your standing as a classy lady before the season is over.

You may not believe me, Luann, uh, excuse me, Countess, but, I like you on the show, and I do not believe your missteps are intentional, I do believe you mean well, and a good majority of the time, you are quite well-behaved. But, an etiquette author need be on top of her game ALL the time - in your case in particular, because the world is watching. Regards, Babs

Countess, I honestly think you mean well when you go out to help those "less privilaged" then yourself. I just think you ought to research the people and the are's in wich they live and how you can actualy be of some help? I think sometimes your words of encouragment are not very encouraging. I am sorry I still like ya though

LuAnn,

You are one of my favorites on the show, next to Jill. But as you can see from my salutation it doesn't matter to anyone that you are a Countessa. You married into it but even if you where born into it, it really has no baring most of all in the US. Now Queen that is another subject...LOL...

You are an overall good person without a title; please don't feel that the title is necessary to be that person. There is nothing wrong with being proud of it, just not necessary to use on a daily basis.

As for the etiquette book, I think you need to practice what you preach before advising others, Meaning, you need to learn to be silent when others are speaking as in the award ceremony when you got up and chastised everyone for talking and then sat down and talk through the whole thing. Etiquette, shmed-etiquette, you where being down right rude, very un-Countessa like, heck very unlady like, Ms., Miss or Mrs. like.

Hi Countess, I'd first like to state that you are my favorite housewife. I think you carry yourself with such style, grace, and dignity. What a role model you are not only for your children but for many others. Though you may be experiencing some personal hardships, know that many viewers think you are just terriffic. Thank you for showing America some much needed manners!Take care!

To Tracy and a Fan Obviously, there are more people who agree with you. Ignore those critics who blindly follow a person becasue they are rich and have a title. And Ellen even called Tracy a moron. Class act!

Luann, you are a lovely lady. Love you on the show!

I think YOU'RE THE BEST! Of all the "housewives", you seem the most real. If I was asked about Jill's new home interior, I would have said something similar to what you said. (By the way, I am an Interior Decorator and I like your home the best!) Am I crazy, or are you the only one who is never rude to anyone? I love that you ignore negative comments and criticisms, and concentrate on the positive. I'm not entertained, but am embarrassed see people speak rudely to each other and about each other.

None of us are perfect and I don't expect you to be. You seem like a nice person, a good friend, wonderful mother, etc. I AM NOT WATCHING THE SHOW FOR TRASHING AND BASHING. I enjoy having a glimpse into your (mostly) glamorous lives. I will be buying your book. Thank you.

To me, the majority of comments here are from White women who have no clue of what goes on in urban America. An estimated 70% of kids in the Black community are obese, while diabetes and high blood pressure run rampant. You all consider anorexia and bulimia the only eating disorders, but poor eating habits and lack of exercise are the indulgences of the Black community plagued by poor education, lack of nutrition awareness and poverty! OBESITY IS AN EATING DISORDER, DUH! Stop blasting women like LuAnn who tactfully tell it like it is while others turn a blind eye to this travesty. Self-esteem is about self-respect and responsibility and I'd rather a women give my daughter a dose of reality and the real world than lie to her and encourage an unhealthy lifestyle.

Also, I noticed many of those girls were looking up at the ceiling, rolling their eyes and simply not interested. The same types I grew up with who ended up nowhere -- fast!

How do you get the nerve to purport to tell ANYone how to behave when you are part of one of the most classless groups of people I have ever witnessed in my 60 years on earth? Anyone who would agree to be on a program like "Real Housewives" cannot have even a remote understanding of the true meaning of "class." (I've never heard the word "class" used SO much by so many classless people as I have on that program!) Do you realize that the show makes fun of you and your friends by exposing you as the pitiful wannabes that your are? In the episode where you chastised Bethenny for introducing you to her driver by your first name, you showed exactly how lacking in human decency you really are. You compared him to a child and in essence told her she should treat him as one. That sort of arrogance denotes a complete absence of empathy - not exactly classy. And YOU want to teach US about etiquette? Perhaps you don't understand that etiquette is nothing more than rules of politeness -- not some anachronistic (look it up) rituals that harken back to the days in another country where the title of "countess" actually meant something. How sad that your lives are so empty. How very sad it is that you and your friends choose to show the world exactly how empty your lives are by being on a reality TV show. Please don't make your image even sadder by assuming you have ANYthing to teach ANYbody about ANYthing!

Ellen To "Tracy" who said Luann owes that girl an apology - you are a MORON Tracy. Luann did the right thing - she would have been a liar if she ignored the white elephant in the room - the fact that that little girl was obese and nowhere near model material. And Luann DID dignify her by calling her pretty or beautiful.

It's that little girl needed a dose of reality. It's great to dream and think big, but you have to have an ounce of realism. I respect Luann so much for not lying yet being tactful.

You really want her to tell a 250 lb kid that she would make a great model? I would hate to have you as friend.

I'd rather have her "lie" or just not say anything. What if that girl develops an eating disorder? Classy...not.

Dear Countess, Your my favorite on the show! I just wanted to add my opinion to the title issue. I have worked hard for my title (Doctor) and I love to be addressed as such. Its a matter of respect. Please do not live down to the standards that others choose to wallow in!

I would like to ask the Countess a question, My son is getting married in 2010. The wedding will be in the South of France. My question is, I know many people will not be able to attend because of the distance and of course it is expensive. Should I send them an invatation anyway? My sister said "when you invite people to go that far you should be ready to pay for the plane and accomadations. I will pay for the accomadations however not the plane except for my sister who is single. What do you think? I don't want it to look like he is looking for a gift. The young people don't think like that, but the older ones do. We plan on having a reception for them in the fall of 2010 for my friends and family who can't attend. I need you thoughts, Thank you, Rosanne Fisher

Good Afternoon Countess.... I have a question.........Co-worker is getting married and everyone in the office got an invitation, but me. I really do not care that I did not receive one because she does not like me or my husband. But should I still get her a gift? Thank you so much for your advice and I just love you.

Dear LuAnn,

I would like to know is it rude to put lipstick on at the table? I thought that is what you said.

I think that you are wonderful and very classy and look great all the time have you ever thought about your own fashion line I loved your long red jacket you wore with your brothers daughter. Who made that. Or is that rude to ask someone? I hope to get answers cant wait for your BOOK!!!!!

Susie