In August 2009, I was released from my job. It really wasn't a surprise, but what happened aftward was. I worked at a peer support center. After I was released, the Executive Director, hired three of the members of the peer support center. One of these new employees was a friend of mine. Ever since that time, this 'friend' has announced to everyone she meets, that she "got my job. If she knew what she was getting in to, she would have refused." I don't hold it against the her for 'getting my job,' what I don't like is, it hurts me when she says that. Also, the members can't understand why I haven't been back much to visit with them. Once I've been hurt by some one or had a bad experience at a certain place, I don't feel like I can go running back to visit. Is it me? Should I not feel this way? I've tried to explain this to some of the poeple there, but most times I'm made to feel like it's all my fault. Is it? Thanks.

Luann,
I must tell you how much of a lady you were, and how much I respected you with all the hard times you were going through, you carried yourself well and can be proud of
your behavior..carole

Hello LuAnn,

I hope you do not take offence at my addressing you as an old friend, but after watching your life week end and out I really feel as though I know you and like you very much. So much so that I'm getting ready to go ito uncharted waters for you. The Count is rarely available for the day to day family matters and I wouldn't say this if I weren't concerned...but...there is a movie star who is quite famous and has been married to a couple of extremely handsome leading men...her current husband who by the way is extremely handsome and popular must travel to shoots all over the world with beautiful weomen, well guess who goes too??? Right, this beautiful leading actress goes with her husband and sits right on the set as he is working (you know torrid love sceens etc..) Historically this marriage should have ended years ago, but I really believe this one will last forever becuase of the cleaver, smart, beautiful and loving wife this woman is. Its not insecurity, its brillance, we as wemon know how swayed and manipulated men are when it comes to being flattered all men believe every word a woman tells them.

I only wish wives would not see this as a weakness within themselves but a super strength and that empowers them in thier marriages.

I think your a very real person with a great family.

Oh well just a note from someone who really wants to see you continually succeed in your life.

Why do you mispronounce "de Lesseps"? You say "della SEPS," but, as we say in French, my darling, it's "de leSEP."

Countess
I think your great! You Jill and Bethany are my favorite. Your funny your careing your down to earth which is not something I would have really expected. Sure you live in a world a lot different from mine but I think ya'll are great! Watching you I realize that just because you have money does not mean you don't have troubles and you aren't nice and down to earth people.
God Bless You
Holly

Countess de Lesseps

My mother raised her daughters and sons with copies of etiquette books by Emily Post, Letitia Baldridge, Nancy Tuckerman, etc., so I understand the importance of knowing proper etiquette. My mother always says that she taught us proper etiquette so that we would not feel awkward or embarrassed if we were in a social situation that we had never been in before. She wanted to make sure that if we were ever invited to dine at the White House, or if we were ever introduced to a Countess, we would feel comfortable and confident. She also teaches etiquette to young adults, and tells them the exact same thing.
That being said, this is perhaps the number one reason that I would never add your etiquette book to my collection. Whenever you say you are “teaching” someone proper etiquette, the other person always seems to be put on the spot, or made to feel embarrassed. If your heart is to truly teach people the proper way to behave, you should be able to do it without being condescending, arrogant, or just plain insulting. You don’t need to order pizza and stress that the delivery is to “The Countess” – not appropriate. You shouldn’t have chastised Bethenny for not introducing you properly to the limo driver. If she didn’t know that was the proper thing to do, you could explain it to her without being arrogant, or showing how “shocked” you were. You made a point to interrupt the women speaking at the event in the Hamptons so that you could tell the audience to stop talking over them, meanwhile you sat down and began talking (oh and had been talking so much before that you didn’t hear them say “Countess” and were offended). If you didn’t like Ramona’s advice on dating, that’s fine. But making the comment that it wouldn’t fly “in my world” was very arrogant. Which "world" is this?
You seem to lack the grace that’s required to be able to instruct others in proper manners and etiquette. My mother may not be a Countess, but I’d prefer to have her represent our country over you in any social circumstance.

Oh dear Luann,

Have you ever heard of Dale Carnegie's, "How To Make Friends and Influence People?" Probably not, or you wouldn't be having so many arguments with your friends.
Read it. This is America, not Europe. Being a Countess doesn't mean anything here unless you are Countess Drakula. And then it only means something on October 31.
We are not taught Countess 101 in high school.
Also, on one show you talked about how much the de Lesseps
have done for our country. The only thing was a speech from Ferdinand de Lesseps at the presentation of the Statue of Liberty. Later he was tried and would have gone to prison in France except he had become senile. Another de Lesseps was also tried and did go to prison in France.

So exactly what have they done for America, I must have missed it.

I dont undertand why you are so obessed with being called the countess. We are in the United States of America, not in Europe. I dont think most americans even know what a countess is or does. I think you need to get off your high horse and get back into reality, Luanne.

Dear Countess,
I have a situation I am hoping you can address. I said something to a friend of mine and she said it hurt her feelings. It made me uncomfortable to hear this. But it was not my intent for the comment to bother her. Do I really need to apologize or just let her get over it. It was not my fault that she took it the "wrong" way.
Sincerely Not Sorry

How could I possibly buy a book written by a person who doesn't "practice what they preach".

On a different note, what Tamra said in her blog about Native Americans is insulting and I hope you confront her about that.

LuAnn-

Practice what you preach.

Dear Countess

I am on your side my husband is 13 years older than I. We have a good strong marriage and no age has never been an issue with us. Jill was totally off base and should learn to keep her opinions to herself.

Dear Countess,

A few times a month beginning a couple of months ago, a regular group of women have gotten together to play bridge. Some of us are good friends, and some acquaintences. One woman has a family event coming up, for which invitations were sent out. I had no expectation of being invited as I do not know this woman as well as the others do, however, the event has been mentioned in my presence at these gatherings. I feel it is discourteous and tactless for this subject to be broached. Do I say something or do I sit there politely, and do my best to ignore it? I think we will be meeting several more times before this celebration takes place.

Thank you,

Etiquette2

I am not sure how your behavior toward Ramona displayed "good manners". Ramona apologized several times, yet you continued your tirade. This isn't appropriate and I don't think anyone writing guidelines for etiquette would approve. Etiquette and "class" mean making people feel comfortable during any situation. If one's feelings are hurt, and the one hurting them apologizes, it is incumbent on the person who feels hurt to accept an aplogy. Ramonas apology was heart-felt and sincere, yet you continued with your outburst. Practice what you preach. Judith Martin, Amy Vanderbilt, or Emily Post would disagree with your behavior.

I agree with all the posts that say you are overly concerned about your title. I too, like watching you on the show but roll my eyes each time you mention the word "countess". We got it...you're a countess! Move on!

Dear Countess,
Bravo for doing the charities for cancer. I have a three
year old grandson, Geddy, (a twin) who has Lukemia. Yes, you are so correct when you said all of us has been touched by the disease. It is people like you that are
so important to the families of cancer patients, your
kindness, funding and just caring makes them feel not so
alone!!!
Shari

Dear Countess,

I just wanted to stop by and say I absolutely admire you for all you do in life. Thanks for being such a role model and a inspiration to my life.

I really enjoy your contribution to the show. I agree that manners say so much about who you are. May not be where you come from because anyone can learn manners if they want to. I believe that manners is a way of showing respect for others. I also believe that basic manners would be of help in the inner city. The gangs have their own code of conduct but it is manners that also helps in selfworth and one's part in society. Personnaly, I would like it if a man would open a door once in a while or stand up when a woman enters the room or hold my chair - heck anything. These are respectful gestures not showing any weakness in anyone's part. Also, today our young girls think that manners is just that - weakness. You show that you can be a strong woman and have expectations as well. Fantastic. Please keep showing how it's done. Thank you so much.

Love you! Cant wait for your book & for YOU to have more airtime! I would love for you to write a How To book for us Poor to Middle Class women on how to look as lovely & put together as you are but on as little to no money as possible! I can only dream of what it would be like to have descent clothes,manicures,pedicures,personal cooks,& trainers. Perhaps you can help direct us on how!! Thanks for listening.

Countess,

My father has recently taken ill due to cancer, and I wanted to get your thoughts on something that has been occuring pretty frequently as of late. Three distant relatiives continually call over and over again. I understand they are concerned, but their has to be a point where I need some space. I've tried to tell them this, but they continue to persist. What can I do?

Thanks :)

Dear, Countess De Lesseps
I hope you will forgive the weak computer skills,first I want to say how much i enjoy the show i have never been the kind to blog,so please bare with me.I have read these comments and may i just say most are taking it far too serious It is entertainment after all On that note i love that you remind everyone that good manners,conduct etc.are still alive and well I was a very sucsessful hairstylist in Houston for a number of years and exposed to many cultures and social situations that were so exciting and educational as well as character building so please keep entertaining us as well as educating us.Oh by the way here in Texas all the Gay Men Love all of the ladies with the exception of Ramaona Please keep on doing
what you do it is refreshing to have a night of culture refinement fashion and laughter Thank you all so much..

Please forgive my computer skills.Sincerely William G Mueller

Dear Countess,

When I order take-out and the order taker doesn't acknowledge or even know of my title, is it appropriate for me to correct him or her? This happens to me a lot and given your grace and tact, I would appreciate your input.

Best regards,

A Viewer

I appreciate the efforts but you seem way off course with the first bit of advice. Could it be that this person is uncomfortable because she is merging two different styles of people?? It may have nothing to do with being jealous. Obviously this column is more focused about your own concerns and issues. I'm pretty sure true members of "royalty" would not embarrass their families by being on a show such as Real Housewives. And, since you are probably thinking it..no jealousy here. I live the good life and know how to enjoy it without announcing my status daily.

Dear Countess,
I know you are writing a book, you being a friend of Beth's.I couldn't help watching an episode of yall learning to surf and you left without paying for your lesson. I thought that was rather rude and on another episode when you told Jill you would have your girls pack the give away bags for the party, you never brought them back to help her in any way and that was rather rude also, so I will be very curious to see what explanation that you give on dumping on your own friends. Here in Texas we take people at their word and it really means something! Maybe in the next book you write, you can write about what not to do to be so rude with your own friends.I just thank God that I do have good friends and we all pitch in to help one another, that's what real friends do!

Countess de Lesseps, I as well think you are a great person, but I do think that you go extremely overboard to make it known that you are the Countess. It's a wonderfuul title and you should be proud, but alot of people, myself included, could really careless. I watch the show because I am interested in your personality, seeing how you interact with people, and also seeing what the so called "high society" lifestyle is like in N.Y. I am from Baltimore, MD and I love the show anyway!!!!Thanks to Bravo for a great cast, with lots of Drama!!!!

wow i think you are a great person but you need to think abuot other people for a change

"Countess" I have to say in the one episode I saw last night you were so selfish I'm not surprised that your daughter is excited to go to a bording school! Your "party" for her was ALL about you. I could not believe your complaining about the housework that you had to do while your maid was away and ASKING her what she brought back for you!!! ALL of the women on this show are a poor representation of Long Island,N.Y. You just love to show off in front of the camera even your charity works don't mean a lot because of ALL the whining and kevetching you all do to each other.