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Good Morning, I would like to comment to "just dee" on 5/17/2009. I practice etiquette and manners daily; I have many books in these areas, recently, "Class with The Countess" which is an excellent book; It is never too late and thank you, Demi

Dear Countess,

Love the show and you’re my favorite..Think you have a lot of experience with class and etiquette and also think some of the ppl on this blog. should pay closer attention to what you say.. see the problem with this society is all of the ghetto ness and ppl of no class running around thinking it’s ok to be rude or crass..

Think your doing a great job and only hope some of these unfortunate readers/viewers take a little of your advice and place it into practice for their own lives...

You’re absolutely fabulous!!

Alex C.

Unlike other viewers comments, I will maintain my class and integrity as ladies should at all times. I am not jealous of you, however, I do admit to a bit of envy. My envy is based soley on your ability to project self-confidence and strong values, irregardless of some of your "teammates" failed attempts to bring you down. I often wonder if it is too late to obtain a smidgen of the self-confidence and poise you possess (I'm 41). I'll promise to keep trying! I wish you and all your family only the best, Countess.

Hi Countess,
We recently arrived to a party 10 minutes before the 7 pm arrival. There was only 3 cars in driveway,This was a party where 85 we re invited.

It was very quiet inside until a good hour passed then people started to slowly come in, and even more 2hours and later, it seemed so rude to us that they would arrive late to the party, What is the proper time to arrive "on time"
andalso what is the proper hostess gift to bring, or is it necessary , whether it is covered dish, cocktails, or dinner.

Wow! I can't beleive how many people watch the show and HATE the women who appear on the show. CHILL OUT PEOPLE. None of you even know these women.
How can you make such negative comments on someone's charatcer based on a reality show. Everyone makes mistakes. I think we all have done and said things we wish that we could change (or at least forget).
RHWofNYC is pure drama, and it's edited to reflect only the most juicy bits.
I think the Countess is the most real of all the women on the show, and definately the nicest.

LuAnn,
You are beautiful, charming, & elegant--& my favorite "Housewife"! Wish you & Kelly would get more air time, rather than obnoxious, less-than-humorous Bethenny & tweeked out wannabe Ramona!
Although the other "wives" consider themselves overflowing with class (when, in fact, most are quite without!), they definitely could use some etiquette mentoring from you!
Love ya, Countess!

i cannot believe that you were believed to be a good role model for these kids, and brought there TO BUILD their self esteem AND YOU HAD THE NERVE TO CALL ONE OF THEM FAT when she was telling you her dream was to become a model???...way to go lady!...next time just send a check.

for somebody who talks so much about manners you tend to be offensive and little delusional thinking that people who don't know you loooove you and are dying to hear your stories(about yourself nonetheless).

Dear Luann (Countess)

I have watched the show since the begginning. I have to say that with all drama you are the one who can most get under my skin. For someone that is wordly and is involved in a life that demands good manners and wants to dictate them to everyone, you quite often open your mouth without thought. You make inappropriate comments and tell stories that only you are interested in. Most of your experiences are irrelevant. I felt so bad for the girls you spent time with at the boys and girls club. First of all you are a terrible public speaker. You spoke to these girls without a clue of their everyday lives or what they have to endure. Do you really think the story of you getting lucky and marrying the count interests them? You need to experience their lives first hand. You need to understand the ramifications of poverty or worrying about getting shot at on the way home from school, or any of the other one hundred daily struggles they encounter.I hope you really take this comment into consideration. I will leave you with some advice of my own . NOTHING IS OPENED BY MISTAKE AS OFTEN AS ONES MOUTH.

Sincerely yours,

A REAL PERSON OF NYC

Should I take the microphone away from the emcee at a charity event, at which I'm being honored, to quiet the chatty audience...only to sit and have a conversation while that same emcee is still speaking?

Should I lecture an acquaintance, who foolishly sticks her foot in her mouth, but begs for my forgiveness...whilst preparing a meal to benefit a charity?

When I say something hurtful to a friend-implying her photos should be retouched-and she confronts me, should I negate her feelings and refer to her as a 'dog with a bone'???

True ettiquette and class is evident by the way you treat people, it is not automatically granted when you marry well.

I have a suggestion for your book.

Never hold a wine glass at the stem because you need to warm it up with your hands.
Some people will hold a glass of wine by the goblet until it reaches 95 degrees but I like it around 90 for a white and about 92 to 95 for a red or a blush.
If at a party someone offers me a glass of red wine or a white zinfandel in the 50s I place the glass in a microwave for 12 to 15 seconds.
If I arrive at the party early I get take the box of wine out of the fridge and let it warm up but you should never microwave it, as I learned the hard way, because of the aluminum liner.
If no microwave is available for the glass I simply rub the base of the glass with both hands until the wine reaches the ideal temperature.

Also, people often ask me which fork to use? I tell them a fork is a fork is a fork.

Hope this helps.
Sincerely,
Rhonj

Two things that irritate me:

-Talking on your cell phone in the library. I can't even begin to tell you how much this irritates me, especially when people are trying to study.

-Smacking bubble gum. I HATE this! It grossly reminds me of a cow chewing it's cud.

Countess of what you are a selfish empty ridiculos person with a high level of insecurity I cant belive that people watch this show its stuped and empty .

Dear Countess, I am a fan of the show and I feel I should comment about the episode when you spoke to the young ladies at the community center. I would like to say I commend you for reaching out to make a difference, however I must say I felt your comment about losing weight being the least of her concerns, to the young lady that expressed an interest in modeling very innapropriate. May I suggest in the future to make them feel more relatable to you. Share that you are of american indian descent and how you may have been discriminated against in the past and overcame it. I think it would also have been helpful to tell her she has many more oppotunities availible behind the camera as well. Production, photography, being a fashion stylist and etc. Give them suggestions, options, career guidance and advice that is practical and possible. Thank you

I dont understand why you think that you are better than anyone else? Are you better because you married into money? That must be why you think you can talk to people terrible, but try to say it in a nice voice. You are just like Kelly you are both Bitches!!!!!!!!!

I don't believe that Luann answered these questions. She said "congratulations" to a female about to be married--that is a faux pas. She should have said "best wishes" or something like that. You should only congratulate the groom-to-be.

Hi LuAnn,
I have a huge issue with table manners. Ecspecailly with men, even when I'm dining with my women friends I get embarassed. I was taught at a very young age the European style of table manners even eating a peach with knife and fork I basically knife and fork everything. In one episode it shows you drinking from a glass of wine holding the wine glass goblet. I was raised to hold the glass by the stem.
Were my parents insane for teaching us these things? Does it matter in the real world? Does anyone else notice tables manners?
Should I chill out?
L

Louanne,
In the episode when you were having lunch with Brittany while in the Hamptons you we telling her about the book idea (which was the first we all heard of it) you were drinking a glass of wine holding the glass by the goblet the propper way to hold a glass of wine is by the stem.
I'm suprised you weren't aware of this!
The snob!!!

Dear Countess, When going to a first university visit, what is the proper attire for a young man (14)? He has been invited with the juniors to go see Ball State and Northwestern but everyone I ask just says for him to wear jeans. Is this correct dress code?

Your aloof comment about insisting guys pay really Irks me and is telling about your persona.

I might consider taking you to McDs, then again, only if we go Dutch...

Seriously, Luann can call herself anything she damn well wants. "Countess" is now her "Brand". She started RHNY with the title and that's how she's known. Talk to Bethenny about branding. Luann-You go!

What is your take on cell phone privacy..Do you think it is acceptable to look in your significant others cell phone if you are suspicious? I am trying to get over some trust issues with my on and off boyfriend of 5 years, and he hates it when I "snoop" in his phone but every time I feel suspicious and look in his phone, my suspicions are usually confirmed. Is it rude and out of line for me to look? Or am I within my rights?

Countess,
I would have to agree. I am freshly out of college, and found that when I went to the corporate world how much texting could affect my spelling. I often find myself making words shorter and using words that mean nothing in the business world. Also I find myself talking on the phone when i should keep the conversation to a min. in public. I would have to agree with everything you are saying.

I would love to be made up and made over by the countess. i would love to be taken under her wing for a whole week if possible and experience how the elite and well mannered live.please if you get to read this LuAnn, make me over and bring me into your world. I have a degree in fashion merchandising but still having a hard time breaking in, but most important i would love to be made over and mentored, critiqued by you.

All excellent answers indeed. I think you're the 21st Century's Emily Post.

Dear Countess,

I have a few questions....

Is it good manners to talk about yourself constantly?

If someone includes you in an activity, such as surfing for example, shouldn't you pay your share?

If a friend gives you some great news, such as getting the front cover of a magazine, should you tell them how much touching up they need?

I know you ARE the expert, so I anxiously await your reply.

Hello Countess! I just wanted to comment on your visit with your daughter. She is so polite and well-mannered! You have done a really good job with her.

OK, again...LuAnn ends her letters by signing off the "The Countess?" Seriously????