Ask the Countess

LuAnn de Lesseps answers your etiquette questions!

Mar 17, 2009

Dear Countess,
A few times a month beginning a couple of months ago, a regular group of women have gotten together to play bridge. Some of us are good friends, and some acquaintances. One woman has a family event coming up, for which invitations were sent out. I had no expectation of being invited as I do not know this woman as well as the others do, however, the event has been mentioned in my presence at these gatherings. I feel it is discourteous and tactless for this subject to be broached. Do I say something or do I sit there politely, and do my best to ignore it? I think we will be meeting several more times before this celebration takes place. Thank you!

I think it's very rude for a person to keep bringing up a party for which you have not been invited. I would ignore it. It sounds like a family affair in any case.

My father has recently taken ill due to cancer, and I wanted to get your thoughts on something that has been occurring pretty frequently as of late. Three distant relatives continually call over and over again. I understand they are concerned, but their has to be a point where I need some space. I've tried to tell them this, but they continue to persist. What can I do?

Politely state that you will call them if there is any change with your father's status or don't pick up the phone. Do you have caller ID?

Dear Countess,
Do you think it's inappropriate to attend a destination wedding without giving the couple a gift? I would love to get them something, but after paying for the hotel and airfare, I'm already way over my budget!

It's inappropriate to not give a gift if your attending thier wedding..I would send a gift soon after the wedding that you might afford. It doesn't have to be expensive, just heartfelt.

If you could only stress one etiquette rule, what would it be? Thanks Countess!

Never complain or explain! They are both a waste of time.


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