Dear Countess,

I opened my mail last night delighted to see an invite to a bridal shower of a woman I went to high school with.
I was then slightly insulted when I saw that it was a "kitchen and recipe" shower. I had heard a rumor it would be a Pampered Chef party but didn't think it was true. I find it tacky and insulting that the party would involve PC I for one do not want the other woman to know how much I spend on a gift for her. I have a feeling a bit of guilt will be placed upon her guests to order a PC item so gets the kick-backs. What ever happend to "gifts from the heart" or "it's the thought that counts." Aside from that... I don't even like PC. My mother has advised me to go, not say anything or buy anything and just be polite. I agree but mostly... do you think it's tacky to have a bridal shower/sales show?
Thanks!
BEL

hello my names is joanna jimenez I am getting married on aug 21,2010 will like how can i do my wedding and elegant like the one you did that I saw in your ads?

Dear Countess de Lessaps,

It is so refreshing to see a positive role model on reality TV (RARE!). I was raised to believe that no matter what your station in life, manners DO matter! I can't wait to read your book!

Dear Countess,

I am confused. I was raised using American style table manners, and some of the practices of Continental dining contradict (two hands) what I always thought was proper.
Do you have any advice?

LuAnn,

Please rest assured, no one cares half as much as you do that you are a countess by marriage. It is a title, one you were not born with, and one that was entirely created by society. It is not a reflection of your humanity or your heart.

Also, there is a difference between charity and kindness, class and grace.

You are truly lacking in both the latter.

You can write your silly book, but your behavior as viewed by millions speaks of someone in no position to write about manners or etiquette.

Erin

What LuAnn fails to understand is that the greatest sign of class and proper ettiquette is kindness. She really has a long wat to go in this area.

I thought, as others did, that you were my favorite in Season 1. Wow, you have fallen from grace. A lady would have accepted Ramona's apology and went on with the dinner. But, noooo you would not drop it. You continued, even when your daughter sat there quietly listening to you bicker with Ramona. How horrible for Victoria to hear you hash and rehash Ramona's misfortunate words.

Dear Countess, I really enjoy watching you and i think you are wonderful keep doing what you are doing and keep your head up if they cannot respect you for who you are then the hell with them.

I relate to you the most of all the women. We are a lot alike. my husband is not a count but he does have position. So many of these women seem not to get that. A lot of women "marry up" including Princess Diana. We all have social expectations whoever and where ever we live it's the way of the world not just NY. Some people act as if they are only comfortable with belching and farting!

Countess and Housewives,

I viewed your show last evening and I have spent most of this day letting my close friends know how much I treasure the relationships that I have with them. Other than Bethenny, I would not want to friends with any of you! Like your group, we have "a lot going for us". We are attractive, successful and priveleged. We lead highly social lives and love high-end fashions. We are involved in charitable organizations. What we are not is backstabbing, malicious and self-absorbed. We would never speak about or to one another in the rude manner that you do (especially you, Countess Clueless, as you promote a book on etiquette, of all things!...btw, he IS a much older man and...you are infinitely ruder than Ramona!!).

I think you need to apologize to one another and seek an excellent group therapist.

Sincerely,
North Carolina housewife

Countess:
Each week I love the show more and more - you constantly make me laugh - I especially thought if your husband is older - so what - how lucky can one person be! Well, actually both of you got lucky with that match. RoMEANA, not so much. Just think about it - being envious, which I am sure you know so much about, wears so many faces, and Ro and Alex, they are pros! Just do what you know best - be yourself. You just keep getting better and better. Between you and Bethany, and, of course, Jill, the week is made so much better.

I think you are genuinely a nice person and if you became a Countess by marriage, than so be it, good for you. I think you and Jill have the most adorable and respectful children on the show. You are a great mom and they are lucky to have your house keeper as their 2nd mom when you are not able to be there.

I love the Countess and her family! She is fabulous! Her daughter is so pretty. She is a great role model who responds fantastically to high presssure social situations. She is someone we are lucky to be able to watch on television. Keep up the good work Countess, and I am waiting for your book!!!!!

I think you are wonderful. Not many people know much about true etiquette and have never been in the presence of Royalty. I find it refreshing to see class, and polite society from your stand point. I had to learn how to meet ambassadors when I was 21 traveling with my father through South America, and how to meet and address royalty. Granted it was 30 years ago, but it was an eye opening experience, and I've never suffered from learning how to conduct myself properly in a social situation. And it's respectful to address people properly. For me it's not about social position, it's about respect, not being below the salt. Treat people respectfully and they will return in kind.

Many people don't have manners, you do, many of your co-stars don't, I wouldn't be caught dead saying some of the things they say on TV. They sound like tacky spoiled rich brats. Makes me want to stay out of NYC.

You are a lovely classy lady, and when your book comes out, I'm buying it for my nieces. Now if I can get my 16 year old to dress better (but his grades are good, he's a polite kid, so we pick our battles).

Hugs,
Sticks

Coutess I think you pure out class. You handled Romana tacky behind very well. Thank you for being the classy women that you are. Your daughter is just gorgeous, would she like to model one day?

Dear Countess,

This is a tricky situation. My husband's brother and his wife are constantly neglecting to invited my husband and I to their family gatherings. By this point I would be inclined believe that it is intentional, but my husband's sister-in-law is of another culture, and in her family, when you invite one member of the family, they all show up! Their latest excuse for not inviting us was that they expected someone else in the family to invite us! I personally think that this is rude and don't feel comfortable accepting a second-hand invite. So I still have no idea if this is a cultural difference or if they are just really rude! Should I accept a second-hand invite from another member of the family, or should I not attend their functions until I get a proper invite?
Thanks so much,
Dianne

LuAnn,

My husband and I just relocated and we plan to stay in this community long term. My question is, how do you become acquainted with new people and begin making "connections" in a new town? Especially if you want to connect with people of a certain level of sophistication? I would just like to meet interesting people of the same or similar educational background as my husband and myself. How do you move up the social ladder in a brand new city? (Perhaps I should be asking Alex this question!)
Thanks so much,
Dianne

Dear Countess,
One should know, my dear, that it is not necessary to order a pizza using one's title-by-marriage. Also, my love, one should know that it is considered bad form to act as though one is better than anyone else, even if one likes to believe they are.

Go Countess....what is shown on TV is just a fraction (like less than 1%) of what truly goes on in a day...they cut out the real life stuff like kids being sick, doing homework, washing dishes (because that doesn't make for good tv). Let's cut the countess some slack.... I'm just happy they have opened up their daily lives to show us how real they truly are...and hysterical! I am CA girl, mom, business owner and wife who loves, loves, loves, loves Tuesday nights. The countess is enjoying herself just like the other ladies.....give her a break. If all of us had her life....we'd be doing the same thing! Keep up the great fashion and etiquette tips! You're my fav!

So when The Countess orders pizza delivery and has to make sure she's known as The Countess, when The Countess marches up to the microphone to tell everyone to shut up while The Countess was rudely chatting away herself, when The Countess cuts someone off to check her cell phone, when The Countess wants to constantly point out, ad nauseam she's "The Countess"...that's the example of good manners and proper etiquette? Sorry, I can't discount(ess) all the rude behavior. Money, and a title-by-marriage does not make one an etiquette expert, or nice person. So I'll pass on the book, and the advice. I'm happy living in my Countess-less world and hanging with the real people.

Just an observation: All of the "Countess's" clothing all look like they are from the 70's. All of the other women are very classy in their attire, and you look like you bought your clothing from A Montgomery Ward's store, going out of business sale from the 70's. JMHO

Dear Countess,

I think you're wonderful! I absolutely CANNOT wait until your etiquette book is available on the shelves (or, better yet, on Amazon!) When is it coming out?

On to my question. A very close friend of mine has beautiful manners and impeccable class, except for one not-insignificant detail: her "all-white" bichon-frise is stained coffee brown in that unmentionable place. It's unsightly and, well, somewhat stinky!
How do I mention this to her without coming off as a know-it-all? (I must mention that she thinks the world of you, too.) I can say with some degree of confidence that both you and the Count de Lesseps "wipe" your pets -- de facto family members, really -- with regularity and vigor.
But how do I impart that to her?

Respectfully,

JeanMarie Verfaille, your loyal Countess backer!

Really enjoy watching the show.
In an episode you mentioned never put your silverware back on the table once it has been used. What do you do with the knife (not used as a plank), after cutting what you need to cut, while in between mouth fulls (sometimes of other food on the plate, (vegetable, rice, etc... )?

I was one of your biggest supporters until you put Rosie right back to work when she returned from her trip... Thats a 24 hour trip- one way. Because you are above doing laundry, she didn't get a chance to rest. That was very bad. You lost me there.

Dear Countess Tracy: Me thinks thou art the most rightious
Countess of them all. Me thinks thou understands the true meaning of "etiquette." Forgive me sharp barb, when I shall sayest that Lowbrow Ann, doest be nothing more than a counterfeit countess at best. Nay, I shall not sayest howeverest that I would even equate a true countess with true etiquettess. That being saidest, how shalt I knowest, as I am just lowly peasant stock, and while I nary drink the beer, were I to do so, it might be out of the bottle.

I think you're raising two of the most wonderful kids of the show. Such substance to them as individuals... Romona is a fool. Too bad she hasn't realized it at such a late age.

Due to the recession, I have no money to spare on dining out, movies, or any sort of entertainment at all. I have recently become good friends with a woman who is very comfortable financially and she often invites me out to dinner, first class vacations and other events and always offers to pay. I am uncomfortable living beyond my means at anothers expense,even at her insistance. And frankly, I cannot afford the clothing it requires to attend many of these events. I have tried to explain to her in the past how awkward it makes me feel. How do I gently turn down her offers without offending her?

Countess,

Im going to agree that your actions Are normal. you earned your title go with it... You go girl.
Im sorry your fans are having a change of heart, i know you must act a certain way in certain places. We ALL CAN.
You are a classly person in every way you carry yourself.

When is the new etiquette book coming out?

Dear Countess, I have felt you were always very "classy" until this year. I feel you were rude to your daughter's friend, by laughing at here when she asked you a question. It was the when she asked should you cut your chicken up all at once or one bite at a time. Chuckling at a young women when you know it will be seen on tv, was not only rude but mean. She didn't deserve it. I am wondering if we are seeing the true "Countess" now. There has been other things you have said that is just rude. I hope you take the time to think and act as the lady we all thought you were. Thank you for listening.

Countess:

My fiance and I are getting married in Hawaii in September. It is the second marriage for both of us. We have not invited any family or friends, as we would like this to be a private experience. When we return from our trip, I would like to send out some announcements of the big event. Do you have any suggestions on how the announcement should be worded? I do not want people to think we are trolling for gifts, as we are not. Because we are not having a reception or any kind of party, I would just like to announce the nuptials without anyone thinking that we are asking for gifts. Do you have any suggestions?

Thank you so much.

Thank you so much for reminding me that money can not buy class.

Countess Lu Ann,

Why is it that people have become so lazy when it comes to thinking before they speak. I was too was shocked at Ramona's lack of manners in making the comment regarding age and your husband, especially in front of your daughter. What was she thinking (or not thinking)? I have always thought about my conversation before opening my mouth. First, is the topic appropriate and second will it hurt or offend. Just simple common sense. The essence of communication is intention. Sincerely, Brenda Allison, a native american living in the south

Dear Countess,
Is it proper or acceptable to ask the help at a social gathering for a crystal wine goblet to drink my Budweiser out of? Because Countess Tracy does not drink out of a bottle? Any advice would be appreciated.
Thank you,
Countess Tracy

Dear Countess,
I am wondering if it is proper or appropriate to introduce myself as Countess Tracy when ordering a pizza from the local Pizza Hut.Any help would be appreciated.
Thank You,
Countess Tracy

Dear Countless, Just because you married someone with a title doesnt give you class. You talk about that all the time and when are you going to act like you have alittle class? Youre at a fund raiser for cancer you get up on stage and tell everyone to be quiet and you go back to your table and proceed to talk, not classy at all. Can I ask you why you had children? It seems like you have no time for them. Did you have children just to say you have them? Your son is starving for love and your daughter looks dazed and confused. Your send her away to school and she does not want to go. Your away off to go somewhere and the children are left behind. Your husband is no where to be found- because of work so you should try harder to be with your kids. Your mom seems like a very cold person and so do you. Maybe thats why its so easy for you to just leave them behind or just ship them off to bording school. Ramona had it right when she told you how could you send your daughter to bording school - dont you want to be with her and get to know her? Shame on you COUNTLESS. You are so full of your self you dont have room for anyone else.

Dear Countess,
I apologize for being dense, but I have a follow=up question regarding your answer to Buffy. For convenience, she and her husband have been invited to her husband's boss's house and asked about a hostess gift.

You're saying that if someone likes wine then a bottle of wine might be a good gift idea?

Thank you for your patient consideration.

Dear Countess,
I am acquainted socially with a minor British royal who has requested I call her by her given name. I have obliged though it pains me to be unable to "show her off" as one might say.

I am an ardent believer in an orderly society and believe aristocracy helps maintain the quality of life I desire.

Would you be my friend?

puuuulease an etiquette book? Bethany is right, you do act "discountess". Bethany I love you!

Dear Countess,
Please help as I am in a bit of a pickle. My freind was hosting a charity event and I promised that my children would be there prior to help with filling gift bags. I totally fogot about it and have never appologized to my "freind" or acknoledged my mistake. What should I do?
Thank you,
Countess Tracy

Countess: You should REALLY practice what you preach! You are often rude to others, show narcissistic tendencies, and genuinley make it hard to believe you have any class whatsoever. "The Count" does look quite a bit older than you and even though Ramona needs a brain to mouth filter, why get SO upset unless it struck a nerve? I hope you take a good look at how you portray yourself as it needs much improvement.

Countess-

I think you are beautiful and gracious.

Countess haters--she can do whatever the hell she wants.

Hello Countess,
I applaude your decision to write a book on etiquette. Having been brought up in the South, many of us were sent to classes for ballroom dancing, proper 'tea' classes, and anything our Mothers believed to be extra re-inforcement...I was so pleased when you mentioned to the young ladies NOT to chew with their mouth open(I hope Ramona heard that)---please include the chewing of gum--especially the "smacking and popping" ! Is their anything more disgusting? I look forward reading your book, as well as, giving it to a chosen few.

Hello Countess:

First, I LOVE the show! You all are fabulous! It's a great distraction from my medical school studies.

My problem regards my friends with who I study. They recently started dating and cannot keep their hands off one another as we have a weekly study session at the local coffee shop. I am really getting annoyed by it and am unsure as to how to approach the matter to them. I really enjoy them as my friends and they make good study partners, but PDAing in a Starbucks to me is inappropriate.

Any help would be appreciated!

when is your book coming out and the name of it. I would love to read it

Iagree with all the other respondents. The only qualification that "the Countess" has to publish an etiquette book is that she is on TV - it certainly isn't in the everyday (or even formal) manners she has displayed since day 1. Please notice her children. By their facial impressions, even they know better!

"Being born and raised among the British Elite I can tell you that no one with a title would EVER push it down everyone's throat. So she married an older guy and got a title which are ten a penny among Europeans, why cant Americans see that she is just a wannabee who will never be classy?"

Cricket, TRUST me when I say that most of us do realize this Lu' woman is nothing more than a joke. Many of us also know that those British titles are also bought and meaningless. This Lu' woman is nothing more than a wannabe.
As for people posting here for etiquette advice? I'm guessing she's behind them... probably forcing her friends to help push her book. Personally I wouldn't want anyone to see me reading that waste of paper, let alone BUYING it!!!
Anyone who is really interested in etiquette knows to turn to a REAL expert such as Emily Post, Peggy Post, Amy Vanderbilt, Judith Martin, Nancy Tuckerman, the list goes on but note - it does NOT include this Lu' clown.
By the way, she broke so many rules of etiquette at her kid's "lessons in etiquette" dinner that I stopped counting and stopped watching. I bet the waiter even got tired of watching her constantly throwing her arm across the table pointing her large finger at the poor girls opposite of her. So Cricket, don't worry, most of us are smart enough to spot a classless countless count.

Dear Countess,

You were one of my favorite Housewifes in the previous season. I even shared my admiration for you with a colleague of mine. However, this season you have shown a different side to your personality that is not so pleasant. I thought you were an elite aristocrat that was able to stay very grounded. This season you have shown a self-centered, pompous, pretentious woman that talks etiquette without being etiquette.

I don't know why some people get so uptight about LuAnn. So she likes being a Countess...Big deal! It's not like she's being mean about it and there are many more moments on the show where she's not taking herself so seriously. I'm just glad that LuAnn married the Count & not that pretentious wannabe, Alex. (Gag!)

It's unfortunate that the cameras caught her talking for a few seconds at the Cancer Society event (gasp!). She's writing a book on etiquette so, naturally, the editors at Bravo are going to want to show every etiquette faux pas they can find on her. It makes for good TV.

No one's perfect &, on the whole, LuAnn comes across as being warm & genuine (unlike Alex & her conjoined husband, Simon).

I don't know why some people get so uptight about LuAnn. So she likes being a Countess...Big deal! It's not like she's being mean about it and there are many more moments on the show where she's not taking herself so seriously. I'm just glad that LuAnn married the Count & not that pretentious wannabe, Alex. (Gag!)

It's unfortunate that the cameras caught her talking for a few seconds at the Cancer Society event (gasp!). She's writing a book on etiquette so, naturally, the editors at Bravo are going to want to show every etiquette faux pas they can find on her. It makes for good TV.

No one's perfect &, on the whole, LuAnn comes across as being warm & genuine (unlike Alex & her conjoined husband, Simon).