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hello my names is joanna jimenez I am getting married on aug 21,2010 will like how can i do my wedding and elegant like the one you did that I saw in your ads?

Dear Countess de Lessaps,

It is so refreshing to see a positive role model on reality TV (RARE!). I was raised to believe that no matter what your station in life, manners DO matter! I can't wait to read your book!

Dear Countess,

I am confused. I was raised using American style table manners, and some of the practices of Continental dining contradict (two hands) what I always thought was proper.
Do you have any advice?

LuAnn,

Please rest assured, no one cares half as much as you do that you are a countess by marriage. It is a title, one you were not born with, and one that was entirely created by society. It is not a reflection of your humanity or your heart.

Also, there is a difference between charity and kindness, class and grace.

You are truly lacking in both the latter.

You can write your silly book, but your behavior as viewed by millions speaks of someone in no position to write about manners or etiquette.

Erin

What LuAnn fails to understand is that the greatest sign of class and proper ettiquette is kindness. She really has a long wat to go in this area.

I thought, as others did, that you were my favorite in Season 1. Wow, you have fallen from grace. A lady would have accepted Ramona's apology and went on with the dinner. But, noooo you would not drop it. You continued, even when your daughter sat there quietly listening to you bicker with Ramona. How horrible for Victoria to hear you hash and rehash Ramona's misfortunate words.

Dear Countess, I really enjoy watching you and i think you are wonderful keep doing what you are doing and keep your head up if they cannot respect you for who you are then the hell with them.

I relate to you the most of all the women. We are a lot alike. my husband is not a count but he does have position. So many of these women seem not to get that. A lot of women "marry up" including Princess Diana. We all have social expectations whoever and where ever we live it's the way of the world not just NY. Some people act as if they are only comfortable with belching and farting!

Countess and Housewives,

I viewed your show last evening and I have spent most of this day letting my close friends know how much I treasure the relationships that I have with them. Other than Bethenny, I would not want to friends with any of you! Like your group, we have "a lot going for us". We are attractive, successful and priveleged. We lead highly social lives and love high-end fashions. We are involved in charitable organizations. What we are not is backstabbing, malicious and self-absorbed. We would never speak about or to one another in the rude manner that you do (especially you, Countess Clueless, as you promote a book on etiquette, of all things!...btw, he IS a much older man and...you are infinitely ruder than Ramona!!).

I think you need to apologize to one another and seek an excellent group therapist.

Sincerely,
North Carolina housewife

Countess:
Each week I love the show more and more - you constantly make me laugh - I especially thought if your husband is older - so what - how lucky can one person be! Well, actually both of you got lucky with that match. RoMEANA, not so much. Just think about it - being envious, which I am sure you know so much about, wears so many faces, and Ro and Alex, they are pros! Just do what you know best - be yourself. You just keep getting better and better. Between you and Bethany, and, of course, Jill, the week is made so much better.

I think you are genuinely a nice person and if you became a Countess by marriage, than so be it, good for you. I think you and Jill have the most adorable and respectful children on the show. You are a great mom and they are lucky to have your house keeper as their 2nd mom when you are not able to be there.

I love the Countess and her family! She is fabulous! Her daughter is so pretty. She is a great role model who responds fantastically to high presssure social situations. She is someone we are lucky to be able to watch on television. Keep up the good work Countess, and I am waiting for your book!!!!!

I think you are wonderful. Not many people know much about true etiquette and have never been in the presence of Royalty. I find it refreshing to see class, and polite society from your stand point. I had to learn how to meet ambassadors when I was 21 traveling with my father through South America, and how to meet and address royalty. Granted it was 30 years ago, but it was an eye opening experience, and I've never suffered from learning how to conduct myself properly in a social situation. And it's respectful to address people properly. For me it's not about social position, it's about respect, not being below the salt. Treat people respectfully and they will return in kind.

Many people don't have manners, you do, many of your co-stars don't, I wouldn't be caught dead saying some of the things they say on TV. They sound like tacky spoiled rich brats. Makes me want to stay out of NYC.

You are a lovely classy lady, and when your book comes out, I'm buying it for my nieces. Now if I can get my 16 year old to dress better (but his grades are good, he's a polite kid, so we pick our battles).

Hugs,
Sticks

Coutess I think you pure out class. You handled Romana tacky behind very well. Thank you for being the classy women that you are. Your daughter is just gorgeous, would she like to model one day?

Dear Countess,

This is a tricky situation. My husband's brother and his wife are constantly neglecting to invited my husband and I to their family gatherings. By this point I would be inclined believe that it is intentional, but my husband's sister-in-law is of another culture, and in her family, when you invite one member of the family, they all show up! Their latest excuse for not inviting us was that they expected someone else in the family to invite us! I personally think that this is rude and don't feel comfortable accepting a second-hand invite. So I still have no idea if this is a cultural difference or if they are just really rude! Should I accept a second-hand invite from another member of the family, or should I not attend their functions until I get a proper invite?
Thanks so much,
Dianne

LuAnn,

My husband and I just relocated and we plan to stay in this community long term. My question is, how do you become acquainted with new people and begin making "connections" in a new town? Especially if you want to connect with people of a certain level of sophistication? I would just like to meet interesting people of the same or similar educational background as my husband and myself. How do you move up the social ladder in a brand new city? (Perhaps I should be asking Alex this question!)
Thanks so much,
Dianne

Dear Countess,
One should know, my dear, that it is not necessary to order a pizza using one's title-by-marriage. Also, my love, one should know that it is considered bad form to act as though one is better than anyone else, even if one likes to believe they are.

Go Countess....what is shown on TV is just a fraction (like less than 1%) of what truly goes on in a day...they cut out the real life stuff like kids being sick, doing homework, washing dishes (because that doesn't make for good tv). Let's cut the countess some slack.... I'm just happy they have opened up their daily lives to show us how real they truly are...and hysterical! I am CA girl, mom, business owner and wife who loves, loves, loves, loves Tuesday nights. The countess is enjoying herself just like the other ladies.....give her a break. If all of us had her life....we'd be doing the same thing! Keep up the great fashion and etiquette tips! You're my fav!

So when The Countess orders pizza delivery and has to make sure she's known as The Countess, when The Countess marches up to the microphone to tell everyone to shut up while The Countess was rudely chatting away herself, when The Countess cuts someone off to check her cell phone, when The Countess wants to constantly point out, ad nauseam she's "The Countess"...that's the example of good manners and proper etiquette? Sorry, I can't discount(ess) all the rude behavior. Money, and a title-by-marriage does not make one an etiquette expert, or nice person. So I'll pass on the book, and the advice. I'm happy living in my Countess-less world and hanging with the real people.

Just an observation: All of the "Countess's" clothing all look like they are from the 70's. All of the other women are very classy in their attire, and you look like you bought your clothing from A Montgomery Ward's store, going out of business sale from the 70's. JMHO

Dear Countess,

I think you're wonderful! I absolutely CANNOT wait until your etiquette book is available on the shelves (or, better yet, on Amazon!) When is it coming out?

On to my question. A very close friend of mine has beautiful manners and impeccable class, except for one not-insignificant detail: her "all-white" bichon-frise is stained coffee brown in that unmentionable place. It's unsightly and, well, somewhat stinky!
How do I mention this to her without coming off as a know-it-all? (I must mention that she thinks the world of you, too.) I can say with some degree of confidence that both you and the Count de Lesseps "wipe" your pets -- de facto family members, really -- with regularity and vigor.
But how do I impart that to her?

Respectfully,

JeanMarie Verfaille, your loyal Countess backer!

Really enjoy watching the show.
In an episode you mentioned never put your silverware back on the table once it has been used. What do you do with the knife (not used as a plank), after cutting what you need to cut, while in between mouth fulls (sometimes of other food on the plate, (vegetable, rice, etc... )?

I was one of your biggest supporters until you put Rosie right back to work when she returned from her trip... Thats a 24 hour trip- one way. Because you are above doing laundry, she didn't get a chance to rest. That was very bad. You lost me there.

Dear Countess Tracy: Me thinks thou art the most rightious
Countess of them all. Me thinks thou understands the true meaning of "etiquette." Forgive me sharp barb, when I shall sayest that Lowbrow Ann, doest be nothing more than a counterfeit countess at best. Nay, I shall not sayest howeverest that I would even equate a true countess with true etiquettess. That being saidest, how shalt I knowest, as I am just lowly peasant stock, and while I nary drink the beer, were I to do so, it might be out of the bottle.

I think you're raising two of the most wonderful kids of the show. Such substance to them as individuals... Romona is a fool. Too bad she hasn't realized it at such a late age.

Due to the recession, I have no money to spare on dining out, movies, or any sort of entertainment at all. I have recently become good friends with a woman who is very comfortable financially and she often invites me out to dinner, first class vacations and other events and always offers to pay. I am uncomfortable living beyond my means at anothers expense,even at her insistance. And frankly, I cannot afford the clothing it requires to attend many of these events. I have tried to explain to her in the past how awkward it makes me feel. How do I gently turn down her offers without offending her?

Countess,

Im going to agree that your actions Are normal. you earned your title go with it... You go girl.
Im sorry your fans are having a change of heart, i know you must act a certain way in certain places. We ALL CAN.
You are a classly person in every way you carry yourself.

When is the new etiquette book coming out?

Dear Countess, I have felt you were always very "classy" until this year. I feel you were rude to your daughter's friend, by laughing at here when she asked you a question. It was the when she asked should you cut your chicken up all at once or one bite at a time. Chuckling at a young women when you know it will be seen on tv, was not only rude but mean. She didn't deserve it. I am wondering if we are seeing the true "Countess" now. There has been other things you have said that is just rude. I hope you take the time to think and act as the lady we all thought you were. Thank you for listening.

Countess:

My fiance and I are getting married in Hawaii in September. It is the second marriage for both of us. We have not invited any family or friends, as we would like this to be a private experience. When we return from our trip, I would like to send out some announcements of the big event. Do you have any suggestions on how the announcement should be worded? I do not want people to think we are trolling for gifts, as we are not. Because we are not having a reception or any kind of party, I would just like to announce the nuptials without anyone thinking that we are asking for gifts. Do you have any suggestions?

Thank you so much.

Thank you so much for reminding me that money can not buy class.

Countess Lu Ann,

Why is it that people have become so lazy when it comes to thinking before they speak. I was too was shocked at Ramona's lack of manners in making the comment regarding age and your husband, especially in front of your daughter. What was she thinking (or not thinking)? I have always thought about my conversation before opening my mouth. First, is the topic appropriate and second will it hurt or offend. Just simple common sense. The essence of communication is intention. Sincerely, Brenda Allison, a native american living in the south

Dear Countess,
Is it proper or acceptable to ask the help at a social gathering for a crystal wine goblet to drink my Budweiser out of? Because Countess Tracy does not drink out of a bottle? Any advice would be appreciated.
Thank you,
Countess Tracy

Dear Countess,
I am wondering if it is proper or appropriate to introduce myself as Countess Tracy when ordering a pizza from the local Pizza Hut.Any help would be appreciated.
Thank You,
Countess Tracy

Dear Countless, Just because you married someone with a title doesnt give you class. You talk about that all the time and when are you going to act like you have alittle class? Youre at a fund raiser for cancer you get up on stage and tell everyone to be quiet and you go back to your table and proceed to talk, not classy at all. Can I ask you why you had children? It seems like you have no time for them. Did you have children just to say you have them? Your son is starving for love and your daughter looks dazed and confused. Your send her away to school and she does not want to go. Your away off to go somewhere and the children are left behind. Your husband is no where to be found- because of work so you should try harder to be with your kids. Your mom seems like a very cold person and so do you. Maybe thats why its so easy for you to just leave them behind or just ship them off to bording school. Ramona had it right when she told you how could you send your daughter to bording school - dont you want to be with her and get to know her? Shame on you COUNTLESS. You are so full of your self you dont have room for anyone else.

Dear Countess,
I apologize for being dense, but I have a follow=up question regarding your answer to Buffy. For convenience, she and her husband have been invited to her husband's boss's house and asked about a hostess gift.

You're saying that if someone likes wine then a bottle of wine might be a good gift idea?

Thank you for your patient consideration.

Dear Countess,
I am acquainted socially with a minor British royal who has requested I call her by her given name. I have obliged though it pains me to be unable to "show her off" as one might say.

I am an ardent believer in an orderly society and believe aristocracy helps maintain the quality of life I desire.

Would you be my friend?

puuuulease an etiquette book? Bethany is right, you do act "discountess". Bethany I love you!

Dear Countess,
Please help as I am in a bit of a pickle. My freind was hosting a charity event and I promised that my children would be there prior to help with filling gift bags. I totally fogot about it and have never appologized to my "freind" or acknoledged my mistake. What should I do?
Thank you,
Countess Tracy

Countess: You should REALLY practice what you preach! You are often rude to others, show narcissistic tendencies, and genuinley make it hard to believe you have any class whatsoever. "The Count" does look quite a bit older than you and even though Ramona needs a brain to mouth filter, why get SO upset unless it struck a nerve? I hope you take a good look at how you portray yourself as it needs much improvement.

Countess-

I think you are beautiful and gracious.

Countess haters--she can do whatever the hell she wants.

Hello Countess,
I applaude your decision to write a book on etiquette. Having been brought up in the South, many of us were sent to classes for ballroom dancing, proper 'tea' classes, and anything our Mothers believed to be extra re-inforcement...I was so pleased when you mentioned to the young ladies NOT to chew with their mouth open(I hope Ramona heard that)---please include the chewing of gum--especially the "smacking and popping" ! Is their anything more disgusting? I look forward reading your book, as well as, giving it to a chosen few.

Hello Countess:

First, I LOVE the show! You all are fabulous! It's a great distraction from my medical school studies.

My problem regards my friends with who I study. They recently started dating and cannot keep their hands off one another as we have a weekly study session at the local coffee shop. I am really getting annoyed by it and am unsure as to how to approach the matter to them. I really enjoy them as my friends and they make good study partners, but PDAing in a Starbucks to me is inappropriate.

Any help would be appreciated!

when is your book coming out and the name of it. I would love to read it

Iagree with all the other respondents. The only qualification that "the Countess" has to publish an etiquette book is that she is on TV - it certainly isn't in the everyday (or even formal) manners she has displayed since day 1. Please notice her children. By their facial impressions, even they know better!

"Being born and raised among the British Elite I can tell you that no one with a title would EVER push it down everyone's throat. So she married an older guy and got a title which are ten a penny among Europeans, why cant Americans see that she is just a wannabee who will never be classy?"

Cricket, TRUST me when I say that most of us do realize this Lu' woman is nothing more than a joke. Many of us also know that those British titles are also bought and meaningless. This Lu' woman is nothing more than a wannabe.
As for people posting here for etiquette advice? I'm guessing she's behind them... probably forcing her friends to help push her book. Personally I wouldn't want anyone to see me reading that waste of paper, let alone BUYING it!!!
Anyone who is really interested in etiquette knows to turn to a REAL expert such as Emily Post, Peggy Post, Amy Vanderbilt, Judith Martin, Nancy Tuckerman, the list goes on but note - it does NOT include this Lu' clown.
By the way, she broke so many rules of etiquette at her kid's "lessons in etiquette" dinner that I stopped counting and stopped watching. I bet the waiter even got tired of watching her constantly throwing her arm across the table pointing her large finger at the poor girls opposite of her. So Cricket, don't worry, most of us are smart enough to spot a classless countless count.

Dear Countess,

You were one of my favorite Housewifes in the previous season. I even shared my admiration for you with a colleague of mine. However, this season you have shown a different side to your personality that is not so pleasant. I thought you were an elite aristocrat that was able to stay very grounded. This season you have shown a self-centered, pompous, pretentious woman that talks etiquette without being etiquette.

I don't know why some people get so uptight about LuAnn. So she likes being a Countess...Big deal! It's not like she's being mean about it and there are many more moments on the show where she's not taking herself so seriously. I'm just glad that LuAnn married the Count & not that pretentious wannabe, Alex. (Gag!)

It's unfortunate that the cameras caught her talking for a few seconds at the Cancer Society event (gasp!). She's writing a book on etiquette so, naturally, the editors at Bravo are going to want to show every etiquette faux pas they can find on her. It makes for good TV.

No one's perfect &, on the whole, LuAnn comes across as being warm & genuine (unlike Alex & her conjoined husband, Simon).

I don't know why some people get so uptight about LuAnn. So she likes being a Countess...Big deal! It's not like she's being mean about it and there are many more moments on the show where she's not taking herself so seriously. I'm just glad that LuAnn married the Count & not that pretentious wannabe, Alex. (Gag!)

It's unfortunate that the cameras caught her talking for a few seconds at the Cancer Society event (gasp!). She's writing a book on etiquette so, naturally, the editors at Bravo are going to want to show every etiquette faux pas they can find on her. It makes for good TV.

No one's perfect &, on the whole, LuAnn comes across as being warm & genuine (unlike Alex & her conjoined husband, Simon).

Dear Countess,

Since etiquette's purpose is to make people feel comfortable and at ease, do you think it's rude to tell my daughter in front of her friends how often she chews with her mouth open? Thank you for your help!

Darling

I agree with you cricket! she does seem to be a wanna be that has absolutely no class! Her teaching adequate is a JOKE I think she needs to take a class herself!

Luann,
How do I reconcile the fact that I insist on being introduced to people in the service industry (and children) as "Mrs. Bossmare" and make it a point to correct others when not introduced as such but do not extend the same rule of etiquette when introducing my friends? I noticed that you committed the same faux paux when you introduced your friend to the waiter at Pierre's as "Jill" then "Jill Zarin"?
I have been accused of not practicing what I preach which I'm sure you can relate to!

Luanne,

I have to agree with other people you are soo rude! why do you think you are better than everyone and that you think you know everything about everything. You really are the most annoying and by the way who gives a crap that you are a countess, its only because you married a count! Grow up and stop treating people like you own them. If i was Rosie i would quit and never talk to you again.

Dear LooAnn,

How should I handle it when a cheapskate psuedo-royal friend of mine keep sticking me with the bill for her half of our joint surfing lessons?

I noted that Bethany was corrected to introduce you to Clever as at least Mrs. D., however, when you introduced yourself to the woman at Habit for Humanity, you said Luann. How do you decide which is appropriate?

Let's have a show about real, truly real housewives and not the narcissist's featured here who contribute "zip" to the social world they hold so precious. Not good television.

Being born and raised among the British Elite I can tell you that no one with a title would EVER push it down everyone's throat. So she married an older guy and got a title which are ten a penny among Europeans, why cant Americans see that she is just a wannabee who will never be classy?

Hi OUNTESS, i HOPE YOU CAN HELP ME I have A 17 YEAR OLD AUSTIC SON AT HOME AND HE WAS PLACED FOR 8 YEARS AND WAS PUT THROUGH MORE ABUSE THEN I THINK I WOULD BE ABLE TO HANDLE.i dont want to place him again . I have tried every thing to keep him home. I was praying that you could throw a charity event for him so i could build on to my house and then have staff come and and help me. I am a single parent and work all the time but i cant afford to keep going i am behind in all my bills Andy is a nice boy he cant talk but i am taking him to dr bock and he seems to think we can help him. I am not asking for a hand out. I know you help people i was hoping Andy would be one of them. Kathy Cady Andys mom.

Countess, I would have considered you worthy of writing an etiquette blog until I saw the episode where you rec'd recognition from American Cancer Society. Although I do not doubt you are deserving of the reward, your behavior at the event was uncalled for. To be critical of the people "chatting" through the introductions, then to plow onto the stage admonish the audience for not paying attention, then to sit back down and appear to chit chat at your table until they called you up was very unfortunate. You had a perfect opportunity to set an example and rise above the situation. Instead you joined in.

We are blessed to have a large fun and loyal group of friends/family in our social circle. Currently, however, I'm prepping for the Law School Admissions Test around the clock. How do I successfully decline invitations to lunch, dinner out, volunteering, babysitting someone's irritating little 4 lbs Pomeranian...?

I would love if my friends could understand my career aspirations without my having to go into the novella about why I am doing what I'm doing and how important my time is right now. (Many scoff because they believe that my husband being a dentist should be fulfilling enough for me.)

If you were in my proverbial Christian Louboutin's, how would you respond to this wholeheartedly caring group of friends/family when they seem to think I'm shunning them as opposed to devoting my time to a personally worthwhile endeavor?

With Sincerest Thanks,

Ivy - Proudly, the Dentist's Wife

I'm having a baby shower soon and I don't want other women to bring their babies to the shower because I want this shower to be about welcoming my child. I also don’t want to take away from my day with friends and family as a first time expectant mother. How could I convey that on paper or in person?

-Khloe G.

Hello Countess,

First of all, let's start with a fact. Fact: You need your own show about etiquette. It's not that the other girls necessarily need a lesson, but you, you have it stamped, sealed, and delivered anytime a question comes up. You make it look easy. You're a beautiful woman, no really, you're my favorite housewife of all the housewives. (And I love my Orange County ones!)

Anyway, here's my question. I come from poor, rural, southern America. Often, I find myself in the company of those with better education, manners, and pedigree. Is there any hope for a red blooded Southern American white boy in today's society? We are often the brunt of jokes, but to make fun of others seems racist. So, I don't do that. The jokes usually fly about my accent, but I wear it well, and by the end of it... usually, the ivy league kids love me. I find them painfully disoriented when they visit the kinds of places that I have grown up in. Often, I find myself instructing them not to be nervous. Yes, they are afraid of the "locals". (mostly farmers, hunters, and people who otherwise wear overalls) Though, they don't know, how refreshing it is to meet someone from the other side of the tracks who is "down to earth". If only they knew that, all their devices of charm... and they can have you eating out of their hands... all that would go away. I feel that it is at times false. Also, if there is some conflict, I'm expected to "handle it". As if, nobody else there wants to bloody their knuckles. Imagine their surprise when I suggest that nobody get hurt and that we all just leave and go somewhere else. I think they expect Ponyboy Curtis with a switchblade against the other "socs". I'm no Ponyboy Curtis.... What advice do you have for me, a red blooded American boy, who socializes with kids who attend ivy league universities?

I feel a bit out of place,

D.B.

Dear Luanne,
Why are you so rude? Why do you insist on everyone calling you the Countess and scream it at people? Why do you scream it at the pizza delivery guy? Do you think the Queen of England screams at people "Call me Queen"?

What is wrong with you? Why were you talking the WHOLE time at the awards ceremony?

Bethenny has way better etiquette than you do! Actually, I think all the housewives do (except for Jill). SO who crowned you the etiquette expert?

Ridiculous.

Dear Countess,

We occasionally have dinner with my husband's friend from college and his wife. Despite the fact that she knows I am a devout Catholic, she inevitably makes derogatory comments or uninformed criticisms of the Catholic church and Catholics in general. Should I ignore these or respond? My calm, informative responses in the past have done nother to deter her.

Victoria

What makes this woman an expert on manners/etiquette? Just becasue she married a man from a foreign land with a title? She was rude to many on the shows and has yet to explain why she didn't apologize/explain to Jill why her kids did not show up for the charity fundraiser to help with the gift bags, nor, why she went to the mike and yelled at people for not listening at the Cancer charity, then, she proceeded to "talk" over the speaker for quite a while.. not to mention her constant correcting of everyone who does Not refer to her as the "Countess"... She is an American born and raised woman. Maybe if she lived in the country where her husband is a Count could she demand this...but, not in the USA where we are all equal women... We have no "cast"/class system here. She is NIT above the rest...Why do all of you think she knows more about manners than any other woman?

Dear Countess,

I've been grappling with conflict, regarding two opposing groups of friends. Essentially, one "crowd" is comprised of my college friends, and another of my new homestead-- and they have begun to "merge." While I am happy that everyone can get along, the more that the old and new pursue friendships with each other, the less included I feel. Is there a polite way I can confront any of my friends to express this discomfort?

Thanks,
Distressed!

Countess,

I am hosting a second shower for my niece, which will actually be a
'Sprinkle" shower. This type of shower is usually given when there is quite a few years between children (six years in this instance).

Deborah

Dear Countess,
I was recently invited to a bridal shower for my future sister-in-law. We do not have the best of relations. Her shower was a weekend I was working so I sent in the RSVP promptly declining the invite and made her a stunning basket that I put a lot of thought into. In return her fiance called me and reamed me out for not coming and said they no longer want anything to do with me. I didn't attend our grandfather's 80th birthday due to conflicting work schedules either because I have to take off for the wedding already. Did I do something wrong?
Sincerely,
Katie

Let us not forget these important points of good manners:

1. One does not refer to oneself as "The Countess" while addressing one's e-mail correspondent by her first name.

2. The proper term is "my husband," not "The Count."

3. It is rude and ungracious to announce to one's guests (through a microphone, no less) that one disapproves of their behavior, ESPECIALLY when those guests are attending a party given in one's own honor.

4. People with whom one does business, such as the pizza deliverer, need only be told that their customer's name is, say, "de Lesseps," not "Countess." It could be taken as pretentious and insecure in a country that does use such titles. Worse, it could come across as condescending and insulting to assume that the pizza deliverer does not know how to address a customer.

5. Assuming that others would prefer to trade their lives for yours-- and telling them so-- is shockingly bad manners.

Actually, the answer to the first shower question is, one does not throw a shower for a member of one's own family. So let the other two bridesmaids (friends, not sisters, I presume) hold the shower at the American Legion Hall and attend cheerfully.

Dear Countess,
My husband and I are throwing a party this weekend. We have a friend that we barely speak to, but the last time we had a party we included her on the guest list. This time around, we didn't include her, since the last time we spoke was the last party.
This afternoon one of our party guests bumped into this person and asked them if they would be at our party! What to do? Should we apologize ( which might be a little awkward), invite her, ignore that it happened? I'd appreciate your advice. I thought of you when I heard what had happened. Thanks for your help!
Laura