There is so much I want to say but I could never come out with the right words. Am I sad watching the show? Yes. Do I wish I knew what others were saying behind my back at the time? Yes. Would it have changed how I reacted to what I saw? Maybe. It was a difficult time for me and Bethenny. I had NO IDEA what was going in her life. It had been four months since I had last spoken or seen her. Ramona and Alex did not tell me anything. I guess I should have picked up better "cues" from the ladies, but with cameras in your face you can imagine the distraction. I was absorbed in my own world of "stuff" and just needed time to think. No one would give it to me. Everything you see happened within a matter of a few weeks. Not months. Everyone keeps ambushing me. It was awful. If I could have just talked to Bethenny without cameras in my face I think we would have made up. It was just too much pressure for me. I was very wounded and needed some time to think. Remember, this was all happening very, very quickly.
I loved Bethenny like a sister and hope one day when the cameras are all gone we can reconnect. My mother, sister, and I talk about friendship a lot in our book, www.secretsofajewishmother.com. It was written during the summer. I talk about my relationships with everyone and how we feel about friends.
Our Golden Rules of Friendship are:
1. Be There
2. Apologize when wrong
3. Forgive. Let it go.