Kelly Killoren Bensimon

Kelly talks about what she's looking for in a man and shares her reaction to Jill's email.

on Apr 1, 20100

I was flattered to be at the Brooklyn Fashion Week meeting. I started ELLE Accessories and judged the work of students graduating from the PARSONS School of Design many times with Tim Gunn. I admire young designers for their creativity and confidence to do what they love. Bethenny brought up the Daily News article. None of us wanted to give it oxygen, because Bethenny is infamous for putting herself in the press and giving slanderous articles to gossip reporters. I had to endure her press smackdown all last year, and it seriously affected my reputation and my children. I will never forgive or forget what she did to defame my reputation or hurt my children. Gossip is ugly. I needed to clear up the "I'm up here" statement I made last year for the viewers, because it was clearly misinterpreted. A lot of times when I am around Bethenny I feel like Crystal Carrington. She needs drama to stay alive on the show, starts fires, and then becomes the victim. I like to foster and hone creative ideas, not start fires or placate victims. The drama bores me.

When I got Jill's email, I was disappointed. I have been trying to make an effort with all of these women. I understand that Bethenny and Jill are both upset about their friendship, but it's their friendship. I am not known for being an intermeddler. I will continue to be polite to Bethenny until she proves me wrong. And I will continue to be friends Jill until she proves me wrong. Life is too short. We are all so lucky. Stay real, and tweet me anytime @kikilet. I prefer your impressions to mine.

150 comments
Sammyplus4
Sammyplus4

Kelly, you make no sense quite often. "You're down here and I'm up here" comment, that whole scene in the bar and Jill's condo last year prove the point. You kept telling Bethenny "you just need to stop" you were going after her!!! At Jill's it was "Stop Bethenny! Stop!" in your high whine when all she was trying to do was clear the air and get past it. You made NO sense!!! I think Bethenny makes you feel insecure. You're too much alike...she's your rival.She's the only one you act like this with. Oh and you don't talk about anyone? LuAnn and you sitting at the bar with Sonja talking about Ramona. On another note, You have right to gripe about Ramona. She said you have no brain and she can't talk to you. Seriously?!?!?!? She over steps the bounds at every turn and everyone allows her!!! That's not a friend. IF the 2 of you did talk about your breast work before she had NO RIGHT to bring that up on TV!!!! That is Private!! You let Jill get away with that email!! Does she own you??! It's your life if you want calm. She says such things to you and behind your back. Wear what you want!! Jill and LuAnn have been very controlling and not nice to you. LuAnn kept shoving Maxx in your face and that Sonja slept with him. That was So Classless!!! They really do enjoy stabbing you! You're an easy target to them because you NEVER call them, Ramona also, on it. Do they run NY?They truly are the mean girls and you take they crap just to be able to stand by them. They let you in because they're against Bethenny. I think you'd be Cool with Bethenny and Alex and Simon. They are alot like you!!! They would always have your back. If it comes down to it scrape them all off and stay away from them all. Watch out for the ones you call your friends.

cassandrasammi
cassandrasammi

Hi Kelly, Last year, I thought you were a bit of an air head and rude, but now I see you are really a good person, who would make a great friend because you never gossip and make fun of people. Also, you are intelligent, and just misunderstood. As Bethany, need to calm down and quite telling people off. I enjoy watching your TV show, and all of you are classy ladies.

Ladyg
Ladyg

I dont like writing negative things on these blogs but I must say- you blog the way you speak--nothing ever really making any real sense. Usually when a person attempts to clear something up that theyv'e said, its cleared up in some way. I still dont get how it was misinterpreted. You didnt mean to say it but its how you feel and see yourself nevertheless. You come across as really shallow sometimes-- to be honest everyone on this show does sometimes--but I do admire how youve taken your financial success into your own hands and handle your business.

Frederick Rothe III
Frederick Rothe III

YOU GO!!!! And my advice to you;YOU DON'T NEED A MAN TO VALIDATE YOURSELF!!! Yes,dating is hard,but if find it a chore,DON'T DO IT!!! Love yourself and your beautiful,wise beyond their years children of yours. Then you can start looking for a man;don't do so before that. Who knows;you might be better off without one!!

Doone
Doone

Kelly,

You're funny, sweet, smart, gorgeous. Your photos in Playboy are amazing. Keep it fun and sexy.

KY Mommy
KY Mommy

Kelly, you always provide some laughs, albeit unintentional ones but nonetheless, they are appreciated. Like your "running" video short last season and also I didn't know Playboy was known for its articles, that is a new one. But please please leave your fur vests at home... they do not look good on you, or anyone for that matter.

Erica J.K.
Erica J.K.

You are shy??? you were all over that poor journalist as soon as you saw him....I wouldn't call that being shy sweetie..

MD-FAN
MD-FAN

Are you for real? its amazing how blind you are!! You are very "all about you" and still have yet to show qualities of someone that can be a "friend". You challenged Bethenny and she put you in your place. Your demeanor is very childlike which you are not... Grow up already!

TaraK
TaraK

Kelly, honestly I really didnt care for you the first season. But you seem much more likable this season. I really do hope that you and Bethenny can get along. It is much better when you two get along. And I would say be careful of Jill!!! Jill is so controlling of her friends. And if you notice...it's okay when Jill does, but it's not okay when others do the same thing.

Hello, anyone home?
Hello, anyone home?

I feel as though you mean to be a good person, but because of your intelligence level it doesn't come across. You need to get over yourself and realize that you could make a few improvements to better your amazing life-go to school.

CrackerPlease
CrackerPlease

Oh I would just love to hear more about how the "I'm up here" comment was so misinterpreted. Seriously? Now THAT'S funny. I hate to be mean, but I have to be honest here. Last season, you took a show I loved and made me not want to watch it this season. You just came off as "dumb". I have watched this season, in spite of your reappearance but it's painful still sometimes. Every once in a while I catch myself thinking "maybe she'll say something smart. And then I wake up.

queenmaud11
queenmaud11

Kelly, I'll be honest, last season, I was really not a fan of yours at all. But this season, I think your true self is finally starting to come across. While I think you can be a little ditzy and maybe make some poor choices (which we all do, right?), I do believe you have good intentions. Despite Jill's catty email to you, you seem to be trying to rise above the drama. I've gotta say, I'm a little relieved to see the other side of you and pleasantly surprised. Keep it up, girl. Mandy

Claire (from Argentina)
Claire (from Argentina)

Kelly,don´t mind what these mean, jealous and negative people say to you or about you. You are a great woman; you are accomplished and positive person who spreads the will to enjoy life as it is. You've worked and keep working hard and everything you have you've earnned and deserve. You really are an inspiration to me to follow my dreams, work hard and enjoy life...as it is..an organic experience! that´s perfect phrasing!! GOOD KARMA!! love ya!!

New Orleans
New Orleans

It was so cute watching you and the interviewer flirt with one another; you turned into a high school girl.....so sweet!:o)

tiffany2000523
tiffany2000523

I like you better this season but you really do need to stay out of other peoples business you will get father that way

bmf
bmf

Kelly, I was told by my mother if you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all. So, I quess I have nothing to say.

AMS
AMS

Kelly, I hope you watch these episodes and realize that your are just like the others. You put on a front like your "above" what they do and how they act. You are one of them. At least the others own up to what they are. Someone should have kicked you off your high horse along time ago. You aren't that great!

ginababe777
ginababe777

Hi Kelly, I like you and I don't care what everyone else says or thinks about you. You might say some things that are silly but who doesn't? You mean no ill will towards anyone, you are not manipulative and certainly (from what I can tell) you are not a publicity whore. I think you live your life according to your own standards and I think that is very admirable and one of the things that makes you very likable. If I had to chose, I'd say you were my favorite housewife!

Gina

Fantasia
Fantasia

Jill's e-mail. I did not read that email as a threat. I read it as more as a warning to beware of Bethany, and that Jill might of just been a little sad that she no longer has a friendship with Bethany. Just wanted to throw that out there. I thought you went a little overboard in your reaction to the email.

Bev m.
Bev m.

kelly,you were my fav. last season.just one thing you and alex better watch your back. you 2 are always stuck in the middle.bethenny will have her new show soon.you and alex are to good for the show.you both should get out now before you get another neg.e-mail.jill was wrong.bevy!

SMW
SMW

It just goes to show what kind of person you really are. Not that we didn't get a glimpse: "I'm up here, you're down here". Grow up, Kelly. You're not the great one you think you are.

Just another Viewer
Just another Viewer

Hi Kelly,

just one comment: the writer from Playboy was cute indeed, but that's it. If you are looking for a serious relationship - he is not your guy. Seriously. Besides, he was very (!) unprofessional at the interview. So, he is cute, but an idiot. Not good dating material.

Other than that, you seem to be a nice woman. Perhaps a bit too naive, but at least you are not mean or aggressive. And I love your apartment. You have great taste.

AnnetteG
AnnetteG

If you don't like to mix business with pleasure, why flirt with the writer in the first place? What happened to "can you seal the deal". That is why you confuse me. You say one thing, but do another. I don't get it. You liked him. He liked you. If you were not planning on ever dating, why flirt in the first place? Ugh!!

And, if you are not an intermeddler why the make the comment that Bethenny "invented the margarita"? You contradict yourself, always trying to put yourself in the best light.

Say what you mean, and mean what you say. I would really like to believe you are smarter than you seem.

Elayna
Elayna

Kelly, I agree with you that Jill's email was awkward. I well imagine she remains understandably insecure from all of Bethenny's ill-meaning behaviors this season. Just remember how damaging Bethenny has been to you and your girls, too. It was wrong of Jill to assume you should not see Bethenny (why you would want to baffles me....), but coming from her point of view, I would give her a pass on why she over-reacted.

HarryAleo
HarryAleo

I like you Kelly because you are a nice person. I like that you're unpredictable and have a unique perspective on many of the situations. I like that you are not mean, I like that you're not perfect and that you're real. So what if you want to marry an accomplished guy? You probably should since you have so much. If it wasn't for you and Alex, the show would be unwatchable.

Kristy1
Kristy1

Kelly, just remember looks are fleeting and friends can be forever, if you are honest and good. I'm just not sure about you. I think you are beautiful outwardly but not real sure about your heart. You lie a lot! You need to get that in check, trust is the number one thing in a relationship with anyone including your kids.

Di
Di

Kelly, I can't believe it but I think I was wrong about you. I think I finally understand your "I'm up here" comment. My mother always told me in conflict to "rise above it" -- in other words, do not stoop to the level of the person attacking you. I think that might be what you were trying to say. You are definitely growing on me. You have a beautiful family!!

NYC Viewer
NYC Viewer

Jill is right about you, you are confused.

gad
gad

Kelly, you are still one of my favorites. I just don't get why you felt the need to apologize to Bethenny. For what? She owes you a few major apologies! I would stay away from her if I were you.

Anyway, you ROCK!

Viewer #21
Viewer #21

I'm really impressed with you this season. Last year, wow, either you were having a very hard time and were nervous about starting the show or the producers really cut up your story. I *think* I'm starting to understand you more this season. And I think I have a better idea now of what you meant when you said you wanted to show a different type of New York lady; someone who certainly is out in society but maintains a distinct separation between her social/business life and her person one. Are you as fast or witty as Jill or Bethany? Heck no. But you aren't completely vapid, which is how you came across last year. I applaud you for, at least up to this point, making an effort to stay out of the other ladies' drama and confronting your own without being particularly aggressive (i.e. not lashing out at people aggressively in public places without warning). I particularly like seeing you with your children. I like how you interact with them, fun, open, casual, yet you still seem to maintain control of the situation. Kudos. I also like how they are not on the show a bunch. Kudos on that one too. I have a hard time believing that Bethany constructed a media slam against you, but who knows. Viewers loved to hate you last season, and it's certainly possible that a smart media was just building off of that. I hope this season continues to change my view of you and I wish the best for your girls.

Catharine
Catharine

Are you reading your own words? First you say, "I will never forgive or forget what she did to defame my reputation or hurt my children. Gossip is ugly." And then in the next paragraph you say, "I will continue to be polite to Bethenny until she proves me wrong."

Um, seems to me she's already proven you wrong. Now, to forgive and attempt to start anew is a nice thing. But you don't seem to know what is going on. Maybe you do, and you just have an unusual way of communicating that. I dunno. You seem like a nice person. But...I get confused trying to listen to you...

Mrsis
Mrsis

I agree with sowatcher333. Your assessment of how Bethenny hurt you in the press last season is flawed at best. Yes, she was brash with her Madonna comment, but its only because your "I don't put my name on anything, like, ever" comment made you sound incredibly stuck up. Someone had to help you get over yourself. Enter Bethenny. When you invited her to that pointless sit down you made yourself look ridiculous when you had nothing real (or coherent) to say to her. Your time would've best been used asking her where she was coming from and if the 2 of you could find common ground. Those words came out of your mouth. Take responsibility for how you were perceived. You have no one to blame but yourself!

One thing I do appreciate about you this season is that you've held Ramona's feet to the fire and did not let her get away with making her obnoxious comments.

debsdebs
debsdebs

Hey Kelly, whats up with wearing all the fur this season? Is that your way of throwing digs at Bethanny in your "kellyworld" way...because she was asked to represent PETA and your were not? Not subtle at all and pretty horrific for the poor animals as well. Can hardly be considered playing nice as you seem to be trying very hard to do this season. NOT FOOLIN ANYONE!!!

Finally
Finally

Finally you are looking like a regular person who just happes to be in the public eye. Keep it up. Oh, and nix Jill. I mean really... You cant be that desparate for friends.

MySay
MySay

Jill's email was childish. I don't trust her. I really think she has really made an effort with you because she wants to hurt Bethany. Don't be a pawn in her stupid game.

Karen W
Karen W

I have to say that I have been astounded by just how much of a lady you truly are, and how you keep your discourse with other people at such a high level. I would be proud to introduce you to my daughter, and think that you should consider becoming a part of a program for young women and girls, to help them learn that old fashioned values regarding appropriate decorum, have not gone out of style.

I have enjoyed you this season, and hope to continue to see you remain above the fray!

By the way, in your own way you explained Alex McCord's questioning whether or not Betheny planted the gossip item in the newspaper! Nice to know that Betheny is not as squeaking clean as she wants people to believe she is.

LaLise
LaLise

1 question. Is "intermeddler" an actual word?

K-
K-

You brought up the old Up here/Down there issue at Alex's Brooklyn Fashion meeting. Then, when Bethany asked if you wanted to rehash that issue, you said yes. Don't criticize Bethany when you invited the discussion. When you bury the hatchet, it should stay buried. Perhaps you should review the old episodes so you can keep track of your comments.

Rob_B
Rob_B

Kelly,

I recently started watching this series and have to say, enjoyed the group dynamics as it shows how personalities relate and interact with one another. I found it refreshing to see the sincerity and how much more balanced/grounded you are than most. This coming from an enviroment that is perceived as models being self centered. I do not see that in you at all and thank God that you must have wonderful parents as role models. I hope you do find the right man that will treat you with respect, dignity, and love you deserve as well as your daughters. The comment about your father...I hope my daughter can say that about me someday...but not now..she's only eleven so no dating for her for 10 more years..lol ;) God bless! Rob

BostonWife
BostonWife

Kelly,

It was very nice of you to offer an olive branch to Ms. B. However, originally she WAS very rude to you and talked smack about you every chance she got. Therefore, she could be on bended knee to ask for YOUR forgiveness, instead of acting all "holier-than-thou". In the scheme of things, she's just a non cooking, imaginary chef who mistakens Tequila for a health drink.

You have some quirky mannerisms and speech patterns: (constantly twirling your hair and the staccato speeck while gritting your teeth) that make you seem a immature. Maybe you could read something more adult than the girls' reading material. It might open your mind to enable you to have adult conversations in the future. Just a suggestion...

latrell
latrell

First let me say I like you more this year than last season, I really couldn't stand you last season. I think you came in with defenses up and that gave me a bad impression of you. This year you seem to be a little more open and less defensive so I am warming up to you.

About the date you eventually decided to decline. If it had of been lets say a staff member from the TV show, some one you were going to be working with a lot, then maybe it would be an bad idea. This guy was doing a one time story on you, he wouldn't be crossing your professional path every day, every week or monthly. Take down those defenses and go for it. You don't know when or how you will meet Mr. Right, so even though you don't want to mix business with pleasure, remember there are some gray areas where business isn't a long term deal, you never know the relationship could have been. I was a lot like you and didn't put myself out there emotionally until I was starting my life all over and decided to go to college. I needed a math tutor ( to many years between high school and college means math tutor for algebra). I was blown away to realize that math tutor was my future husband and soul mate. Just saying be open to the unexpected!

BiLynda
BiLynda

You are so right about this being between Jill & Bethenny. Not everyday needs to be grade school!

Viewershirley
Viewershirley

Kelly,I really didn't care for you last season,but you seem to be nicer this season.On Thursday's show,you shouldn't have even brought anything up to Bethany about what happened last season,it's in the past,so let it GO.And you need to think about your so-call friend Jill,she is very child-like putting her phone on SPEAKERwhen Bethenny called,who's to say she doesn't do that when you call her.She really needs to GROW UP.So please watch your Back with her,she is a VERY JEALOUS and Back-Stabbing Person.At least if Bethenny has something to say to someone she says it to they;re FACE,believe me,Jill has said plenty about you.Bethenny is more Real than Jill will ever be.And the e-mail Jill sent you was so inmature,come on,she wants you to take sides.

Pooh for you
Pooh for you

Wow! Kelly I am beginning to like you more compared to last season...However... I'm sitting here watching one of this seasons repeat programs. Where you tell the camera, You will try to have a better relationship with Bethany, and that you like her and think she is nice, but "you will never trust her"????? HUH??? You do this quite often, I think you need to put a bit more thought in what you say, because most of the time you say things that totally go against what you said pryor. Sometimes within the same sentance!

Amazed
Amazed

Kelly,

I have to say one thing - I like you - I think you are a little out there on some things but basically like you, but, you have been hard on Bethany since the first show. You and Bethany will probably never be BFF's but she is the one person who has sided with you regarding the Playboy shoot. LuAnn and Jill both have made comments about how it is going to be bad for your kids - Bethany was the one that posted that your children will be fine - she basically said that you have raised them well and that they are young enough not to make it a big deal.

Way to go
Way to go

I'm proud of you making up with Bethanny. Don't let Jill pull you down.

Barbara in NY
Barbara in NY

Hi Kelly,

Good luck with your intentions to try to be nice to/ get long with/ everybody. That may not be possible.

I've been watching each of the Housewives shows. I've decided that they emphasize a common theme, which is; Everybody doesn't like something about everyone else.

Readers of the blogs continue to refer to Jill as mean. I believe that they're mistaken, that instead Jill's behavior reflects that she is deeply hurt. Anyone of us who have had cancer in the family knows how much we need the support of family and friends. Bethenny has not found it within herself to apologize sincerely for her outright neglect of the entire Zarin family when they needed her friendship. During the phone call with Jill, Bethenny compounded the problem, by accusing Jill of "running around last summer when Bobby was supposedly so ill." That just means that Bethenny continues to be insulting, even over such a serious matter as thyroid cancer, and that she still doesn't "get it." Perhaps she never will comprehend how much she hurt Jill.

Kelly, you may be the one of the first HWofNYC who perceived the mean/abrasive streak in Bethenny. You decided not to be a doormat; you stood up to her. That bar scene was misunderstood. But now that we see Bethenny in all her mean and caustic ways, we're better able to understsand why you responded as you did then.

So far as Romana Singer is concerned, everyone needs to wear body armor. Her remarks to you about whether you'd had breast surgery was beyond rude at Jill's dinner party. Walk away from her as you would the plague. The only thing I'll say for Ramona and Mario is that they have an absolutely lovely daughter. Ramona is missing out in life now because she never learned any social graces.

Best wishes to you Kelly and to your daughters. So far, you seem to be the only Housewife of New York City who is not trying to earn a fortune off of the show.

sharona
sharona

Kelly, pleeeease. This is how you decide to look for a man to love? You are already deciding that he should be as famous or powerful as your ex husband? I mean it is your ex husband right? Something didn't work right. Why don't you just be open minded. You should go out with the reporter from Playboy! He obviously got your attention because you couldn't wait to tell everyone about him and then you decide you won't go?