Kelly Killoren Bensimon

Kelly discusses her relationship with Max and her showdown with Bethenny.

on Apr 28, 20090


The truth is that I am very a sensitive person. I hate confrontation, and I am annoyed by the soap opera/mafia sit-downs. I am a very easygoing person, and I don't ever come across these types of moments in my every day life, so I honestly don't have experience handling confrontation. I just want to enjoy the life I am so lucky and grateful to have.

I tried to be nice to Bethenny at the Jill Stuart fashion show. She chose to fight with the new girl, and was rewarded with press and airtime. She did what she set out to do, and honestly, what is wrong with that? It's a TV show!

We speak two different languages. I don't need to get to the bottom of why we had an argument, nor do I like to be policed on a constant basis. What's in the past is in the past, and we are working together, so let's move on.

I am always nice to everyone. But, as I always tell my children, not everyone is expected to be friends. You always have to make the effort to be polite. Bethenny and I don't travel in the same circles, and we have some mutual friends, but I rarely see the cast outside of the show. That isn't good or bad - it's just different.

If Bethenny wants my attention I'd rather do something with her that is fun and productive, rather than indulge her negative behavior. I just wanted the conversation to be over so we could focus on the real reason I was there. Jill invited me over to help with the charity meeting, and I wanted to get started.

577 comments
Mrs. Rios
Mrs. Rios

Seriously..Kelly you were off the charts on this one! I sense some kind of jelousy with Bethany and jelousy is a desease.. and by the way..I LOVE YOU BETHANY!

free keylogger
free keylogger

good share, great article, very usefull for us...thank you

Sympathetic Viewer
Sympathetic Viewer

This comment is being made to the one and only "therapist" who commented on this blog about Kelly. I don't think that you are a therapist based on what you said and how you said it. And if you are one then maybe it is time to think of resigning or retiring because you could do more harm than good in Kelly's regard. I know the lingo and am familiar in a rudimentary way with the multiple approaches of therapists, since my career choice was somewhat related to that of therapy. I was a BEHAVIORIST for young people and not a therapist. And to tell you quite frankly therapists don't talk as you did, even when addressing what seems to be a meltdown in someone. Usually that is all the more reason to proceed with caution. A therapist does not fan the flames as the other bloggers and you did. They stay POLITELY ASSERTIVE and speak straight from the heart but in a way that calms the angry person down. That way the person engaging in the angry tirade or meltdown is better able to listen to reason after that. I'd like to think that you were just human and got carried away while leading with your emotions and not your head monentarily. Bethenny, Alex, and Sonia (sorry Sonia about the spelling of your name) all acted as good therapists would which meant "DIFUSING" the situation as they did.And even Bethenny said that she is not an expert in the field of therapy. So my hat is off to them. And I know that you can do the same no matter how outrageous another's behavior may seem to you.

Sympathetic Viewer
Sympathetic Viewer

Kelly, you're misunderstood because you have a hard time being articulate when in tense situations. I'm the same way when face to face with someone. My brain freezes up, my listening skills become impaired, and I over-react, which makes me look bad despite my goodness. I'm a very smart introvert with a high I.Q. and proud of being an introvert. It brings many gifts to a world that is prejudiced towards it. And people react negatively to someone who is not SILVER TONGUED. As a possible introvert yourself you might want to read the book: "THE INTROVERT ADVANTAGE, HOW TO THRIVE IN AN EXTROVERT WORLD" by Marti Olsen Laney, Psy.D. It gives practical ideas to introverts on how to effectively navigate their lives.Then rewatch the taped videos and review honestly how you reacted to Bethany and what might be a better alternative for the next time. You'll get a much better response from the other housewives then. They'll see what a cool person you truly are.

Nicole305
Nicole305

Watching a marathon and I agree with Jordan! B is officially my favorite housewife.

Jordan
Jordan

alright, I wasn't sure before but now I know...Bethany is my favorite housewive. I think it's awesome that she speaks her mind but doesn't go CRAZY if someone doesn't agree with what she has to say. And how could Kelly "forget" her "talk" with Bethany?? I was actually laughing at how Kelly was acting. If they keep her it's to add some comedy to the show.. =]

Viewer
Viewer

Sadly, I watched this episode with my children. I don't think I have ever more embarassed as a mother and as a woman of another woman and mother. I found Kelly to be rather laid back and easy going up until that point. I was enjoying the equestrian portions of the show. However watching her berate and belittle was a side I never thought I would see. For someone who seems to pride herself on all that she has accomplished - what has she accomplished? Bethenny has something to show for her life.

Frankel Fan
Frankel Fan

I hope your daughters don't come across someone in their lives that say to them, "You're down here... and I'm up here..."

Who says THAT? How does somebody respond to such a mean comment?

Viewer
Viewer

I record this show only because I can't stand this Kelly women, and when she comes on, I just fast forward. I swear I would really apreciate it if they would just take her off the show. I love all the other ladies and Alex's husband. But, seriously I can't stand this smug, biotch!! Do use all a favor and let her go, BRAVO.

Donna
Donna

Kelly,,,,I liked your dresses and loved that wide belt you wore....really cute. Where did you get it?

D

Robin
Robin

Kelly, I think your great! I'm glad to see you on the show. I hope you stay. I understood what you were trying to tell Bethanny. It was over her head as many things seem to be. You did not say you were better then her as a person. You said in that situation she was acting like she was still in high school. I think she acts like a no class witch all the time on the show. At 1st I thought she was talking from her nose. I hate her voice. But after the last show I am sure she is talking from her behind. Your a better person she will loose sleep over it you wont. Go on with the life you have worked so hard to build and be happy.

Viewer
Viewer

Wow. I think you really need to go back and take a good look at that sitution with Bethany. Put all the emotions aside and just watch as a person out of the circle. I believe it's important for you to do that.

When you were talking about men with Lu Ann and group, you said Max just "happened" to walk in?

I don't appreciate you thinking we are ignorant people.

I'll sign off with

I am here. You are there.

How hurtful tHat was.

kelly's number one fan
kelly's number one fan

kelly, I want to know if you read the feedback from the viewers. I'd like them to take you off the show. You are so boring. You don't listen to others when they talk. You should really practice your listening skills. You keep on acting like you are bethany's mother. You keep on talking about indulging her. Can you just shut up and listen. I love how you tell her to shut up and you don't know how to shut up. I love how all the housewives have called you out, but it's so sad that you don't get it. You need to get over yourself...can you please quit the show..please...I hate watching you and I fast fowarded all scenes with you.please quit..please..shut up and quit..

Carlos
Carlos

Whatever they say..without Kelly in the show..This seasons would be just boring... She is pretty..a bitch...but pretty..Love you Kelly

Kelly
Kelly

Kelly, You should have never come on this show. I feel sorry for you and almost laugh whenever there is a scene with you in it. I love Bethenny and the fact that she didn't take your $hit or get worked up over anything to do with you is awesome! Get a life.

Viewer
Viewer

Kelly...Wow...it amazes me how you really do live in "Kelly World". I don't think you get the point that Bethanny DOES NOT CARE to be your friend. She doesn't WANT your attention....she is making a point that, YOU, KELLY act like you are BETTER than her...but you are not..She is not begging to be your friend...it's the point that she is trying to make...I think you are very pretty but the person you are on the inside makes you an ugly person....As you can see in all the viewer's comment...you are the least like in the show...Get over yourself! You are so immature...

Viewer
Viewer

Kelly, why didn't you let Bethenny get a word in? you kept saying "no stop, just stop" what is your problem? remember you aren't perfect though you may think so.

Viewer
Viewer

Bethanny may have a big mouth but she speaks her mind, unlike others that prefer to stay quiet

Viewer
Viewer

BETHANNY FOR THE WIN!

Viewer
Viewer

Bethenny has got a big mouth.

The Truth about Kelly
The Truth about Kelly

If you could never figure out how a Columbia grad and author/editor could be so immature, incoherent and, frankly, stupid, this will explain it:

Kelly has completely misrepresented herself on this show. She never went to Columbia, much less earned a degree from that Ivy League college - she went to the Extension school for a couple of courses. She got her "writing" assignments at magazines with her husband-at-the-time's connections. And she was never a famous model; that's why 90% of you never saw her before this show. (she was in a couple of make-up print ads, she never did runway or Vogue shoots, etc.)

She never intended to reveal any details about her Real life, as the other Housewives have (and isn't that the point of the show?). We never heard about her real boyfriend of two years (who she was arrested for assaulting). Instead she prances an acquaintance, Max, before the camera to imply that she's dating a hot young guy, who was just happy to get on TV. They have never dated.

Poor Kelly. She gambled on this show bringing her fame and recognition. Instead, it revealed her to be a mean, shallow woman with no thought for others. She has no real girlfriends, and now you know why.

(also, read the comment on 5/4/09 from "Have met Kelly" - how true, how true)

Viewer
Viewer

Kelly is just being true to herself. She is more classy than some of the other housewives. Bethanny is a LOUD MOUTH. She cn't keep her mouth shut.

Viewer
Viewer

Kelly, It is amazing to me that you do not see how absolutely bizarre your social skills are in speaking with other adults. Kelly, You are not in fact "up here" while Bethenny is "down here."

In terms of your chronic tardiness and disrespect to other busy adults, I too, am a single mother of two children. I do not, however, choose to keep other adults waiting in order to attend to my own important world. I do, in fact, notice that others have equally busy and important lives, and do not want or need to be kept waiting so I can attend to my business while they waste time waiting for me like my ladies in waiting.

Kelly, I'm a therapist, and I can only say, GET HELP. You really need some insight into your outrageous and inappropriate behavior. I don't care that your father is a lawyer. So is my husband. This doesn't = a license to "know everything" or to pretend to be important for the sake of my own fragile ego. I hope you watch the show and notice that you need to gain some respect for yourself and for your fellow humans. A former model who is rude and treats others with complete disdain. This isn't new, it isn't cute, and it isn't funny. And, by the way, I am up here, and you are most definitely, down there.

Becca
Becca

Hi Kelly! i just wanted to let you know that i was so excited to see you on the new season, i was expecting to love you and i really wanted to because your ex husband is soooo cool. When i first saw you and you introduced the term "Kelly Time" i knew i was going to love you. As soon as i saw you at the charity meeting with Bethenny who i adore, i starting questioning your personality. When you went to see Bethenny and told her that she was below you, i could not believe it. When your kids grow up and are old enough to understand that their mommy was on tv, they're going to want to watch the seasons. How could you POSSIBLY allow yourself as a mother and an adult to speak to someone in that way?! You children are going to be embarrassed to have a mother that acts that way. I know i was thinking to myself if my mother EVER did that i would probably have a sit down with her and ask her to read a book like Luanne had written, which you should also buy a copy of. Please just watch how you talk to people, and maybe you wont have to put yourself in those situations anymore because people will like you.

ps. don't invite men that you aren't in a serious relationship with to girls nights out with your friend and her neices. its EXTREMELY rude.

Claire
Claire

Kelly, I think I need to write the book(s) And I know you ladies get a ton of criticism but I figure you're all willingly doing a reality show, have this blog and accept comments and so ...if the criticism could be constructive, that'd be great. I'm a little older than you and believe me, life has shown me that some two people just don't gel. But you two just don't seem to accept that. You're both guilty to some degree. The meeting you initiated with Betheny sounded like something I would have done a few years ago: have the final word, put them in their place, have it all on "my" terms. But I've grown since then. What you did was in essence squash her as if she were an insect on a New York curb. She didn't have to show up. You cut her down without any emotion on your face whatsoever. Not very flattering. The incident at Jill's house should have been received in a positive light but again, you went for full control, unable to acknowledge her in any way at all. She's worthy to at least be heard. Betheny does go on and on but it is frustrating when someone tries to muzzle a grown woman.

A viewer would have to be brain dead not to see you take every opportunity to put Betheny down. Had someone likened me to Madonna, I'd express that it's not acceptable, shrug it off and say "hey thanks!" yes, it was an insult but could have been worked out without the drama of your demeaning her in a public place, one hand higher than the other.

I'm sorry just that for someone who hates confrontation, that struck me as a little phony.

Viewer
Viewer

kelly, you are a narcissist!! you act like a butterfly fluttering around from party to party make your "appearances" as if your some famous celebrity and people should be so grateful you showed up. you have no respect for anyone's time, you arrive late to everything, way beyond what would be considered fashionable, your just plain rude! you treat people as though they are beneath you. you don't practice what you preach, your childish, obviously insecure and threatened by bethany. she didn't attack you, you acted like a self righteous pig, at the charity meeting, with that stupid comment about not wanting to put your name on the charity. you have a over inflated sense of your own importance. your a washed up model, who was married to a frence photographer, BIG DEAL. he is no millionaire and who are you anyway?? never heard of you before this show. your boy toy max, looks gay and uninterested in you simply your showpiece, grow up!!

bored
bored

OK, I MIGHT BE WRONG BUT I HAVE A STRONG FEELING THAT WHO EVER WROTE THOSE FIRST AND ONLY FEW LOVE DECLARATION BLOGS TO KELLY AND HOW AMAZING SHE IS MIGHT JUST BE KELLY HERSELF. THE STYLE OF WRITTING AND WORDS SEEM TO BE THE SAME AS IN HER BLOG. bUT HEY I MIGHT BE WRONG AND WHO KNOWS....

JackieClare
JackieClare

Kelly

I have two question. Why are you saying that you have dated some amazing men and Max is one of them...and then in the Harpers Bazaar article, you say - anyone we would see you with on the show, you would never date in real life???? Are you lying here or in Harpers Bazaar??

viewer
viewer

Kelly, Sweetheart, you need to realize that the world doesn't revolve around you. I think that you think you are above Bethany and the other housewives. However, you need to step down from your high horse. Bethany was completely innocent in the entire situation and you acted like a crazy woman and didn't even make any sense. I really hope you leave the show soon. I think you are just a mean,cocky, mouthy person and try to fit in way tooo hard.

Erin
Erin

Kelly - I think you are awful. You are a truly self-absorbed, self-deceived person. You are a great big HEAD GAME. I hope you can learn something from life that will help you be less shallow.

Viewer in VA
Viewer in VA

I too was completely shocked at Kelly's behavior on several occasions. Each time I would just sit there staring at the television with my mouth wide open wondering "Is she insane?!" I can't believe that she "confronted" Bethenney in the restaurant the way she did (which was completely childish by the way). And when Bethenney tried to talk to her at Jill's house, Kelly wouldn't even let her say what she had to say! It was ridiculous. What was even more ridiculous is how Kelly seemed to forget the things that she'd said to Bethenney at the restaurant. She tries to act as though she's the bigger person, but she just ends up making herself look crazy. Does she suffer from amnesia or something?

Viewer
Viewer

Bethenny has shown herself to be very insecure - every action by everyone else is a "personal affront" to her. The 1st thing she was upset about was the fact that she was w/ her boyfriend at your house - he knew you, she didn't, & he spoke to you w/o introducing her. For all you knew, she could have been his assistant, since he was a photog. If there is a fault to find, it would be his - not yours. And that formed the entire basis for her venom towards you. And, if I'm correct, she isn't even still going out w/ him, but still mad about it. So she was harboring that & rude to you @ the fashion show where you were VERY cordial. And then she searched for ways to be rude to you in front of others, b/c others do like you.(remember how she questioned ramona?) She sees you as encroaching on her space - the other pretty single girl. Your words to her @ the bar was a response to her animosity - it was badly delivered, I'll admit, but you do seem like you don't handle confrontation well - which is where Bethenny lives. & she constantly insults "your" world, while waiting for scraps from the same table. She is de-classe.

Jill
Jill

Kelly, You are a very beautiful woman on the outside, but unfortunately, after your talk with Bethenny at Jill's house, your inner beauty was sorely lacking. You appeared so arrogant and condescending, it was a complete turn-off. It wasn't the first time. A woman as beautiful as you becomes far less appealing to men, and people in general, when they behave that way. Bethanny was just trying to make ammends with you. How awful!

Viewer
Viewer

Bethanny is way better than Kelly enough said! :)

Renee
Renee

Kelly,Kelly,Kelly...,sshhh (hush)! Now is that any way to speak to another adult? It seemed as if you were mocking Bethenny when she was simply trying to state how she felt about your very rude comments. When sane adults have disagreeable conversations 1 adult speaks her point(while the other listens) and then vice versa. This way both feel their points were heard and afterwards they come to a unified conclussion(sometimes not an agreeable 1). Everyone doesn't have to be friends but should be civilized and respectful of one another's feelings. Perhaps this blog wouldn't be saturated with negativity had you stood behind your words instead of scamper away from them and mis-direct that conversation with Bethenny. She's been herself (spitfire,blunt) since the beginning which is why many love her. She stands behind her words-even with Jill/Ramona.You should take a que from Bethenny and stand behind what you say(or at least admit when you're wrong). BTW-a little ginseng in your diet may help with your failing memory since you totally denied your hateful words towards Bethenny.

twojays09
twojays09

Kelly --- i think that you are one of the bright lights on this show. Beth anny is always up for the 'comic' relief --- but has no sense of timing or comedy... she is just odd... seemingly always wanting an apology from SOMEONE/ANYONE... they sure blew the 'fight' into the world of ya gotta be kidding me... you will always be the fun spot on the show with so much more talent and class than the "b' girl... sure do not know why bonnie hunt latched onto her -- trash talking women always want to be heard? and easy to get? hopefully she will mature beyond middle school sometime in her life?

team...not kelly
team...not kelly

Kelly,

I really wanted to like you...I did! But I was so turned off by your attitude. I think that you need to re-watch some of the episodes and see how you interact with people. You told Betheny that you were "above" her. How sad! People are just different. No bette, no worse, just different. Really...I am so disappointed that you are modeling that behavior for your children to see. We are all people, we are all different, we all deserve respect. You are no better than anyone....now, I just think you are more ignorant.

Mary J. Smith
Mary J. Smith

Kelly, I like you, you're the only one with any class on this show. Don't let people like Bethenny drag you down to the gutter. Seriously. The poor thing has not worked out her childhood issues yet, and this is how it manifests, with petty, childish behavior. And if she feels threatened, as she clearly does by you, then you can expect the absolute worst displays from her! Her mouth is beyond "acerbic" and her mere presence on the show makes me cringe! It was PAINFUL to see her on her date with that French photographer. He had WAY too much class for her. She needs to stick with men who are rough around the edges, like herself. Too bad that bald man who gave her lingerie was married. He's more her pace.

Stay strong, stay classy!

nyc
nyc

kelly you are so awesome!!! keep going to those hampton parties and let the rest of those botches chill in brooklyn!! you are awesome and i LOVE LOVE LOVE you- finally someone who keeps it REAL and calls out people who are acting fake and lame . . . L.O.V.E. YOU!!

Viewer
Viewer

Kelly, I saw that show when you 'confronted' Bethenny and I thought it was in very poor taste. In fact, you came across as very self-righteous and it reflected very badly on you. You're right in that not everyone needs to like each other but they do need to respect one another as people and I would hope that you have apologized to her for your very hateful words. In fact, I think all of the housewives say the most hateful things about each other when they are interviewed alone and it reflects very poorly on all of you. You should be ashamed for the way you treat one another behind your backs.

Nicole
Nicole

Maybe it is the editing or perhaps it's real life? I was absolutely shocked at Kellys behavior on the show, not a couple of time, but more than several times. In the restaurant cat fight Bethany really did own that argument even though it was you that arranged that little meeting. It was painful to see how you fell apart at the end and grobbled for words, stumbled, and when finally realized you were not going to rattle Bethany, you left like a scared dog with your tail between your legs.

I believe that little bit of film is something I think you will regret for a very long time, it shows a whole different side of you, very classless. Maybe you could covince Lu Ann for help in the manners department. She really has it together and knows how to rescue a situation gone wrong.

You are an attractive woman, but not the quality I hear referenced to on the show. And beauty does not bring you happiness nor does it bring you class.

The second converstion just ruined it for you. Wow. Guess the first time was not a learning experience.

I do feel badly writing all negative issues here, but you do have some great ideas that can really be applied to life. I.e. - Ramona speaking about Simon and just not liking him. You asked - does he bother your husband, does he intrude in your life daily does he hurt you? (something to that extend). Romana had to answer no to all those questions. As you said, at the end of the day, he's not that important and do not spend a lot of time with him.

PLEASE, PLEASE APPLY some of your own advice to yourself, you will only come across as a winner.

Best to you.

Debbie DC
Debbie DC

Kelli, Evidently, you don't remember who starts what.....Bethanny was joking around with you at the first charity meeting when she called you Madonna and you have to act all high and mighty and offended....Take a chill pill...We aren't impressed!

Lizbeth
Lizbeth

Kelly,

I just want to politely say that your not a very nice person.

Kelly
Kelly

Kelly, you are georgeous, as you already know, but your personality is not. You always make it known that you have so many other places you have to be each night and act as though all should feel special you make an appearance. You are probably a good person, but you give off an arrogance that is way beyond healthy confidence. You need to get over yourself and show your inner personality, because you seem so ingenuine and shallow. just an observation............

SassySuzi
SassySuzi

I watched the show and I have to say that both Kelly and Bethany both made some mistakes, as we all do. I think Bethany is more opinated and is freer with her opinions than Kelly. Kelly seems to me to be more down to earth and seems to get what life is all about. As to who I like more, that would be Kelly. To me she seems more real than any of the otheers on the show. The one that I cannot stand is Ramona. She is so insercure with herself that she has to find faults with others and then be nasty about it. Grow up Ramona!

Kelly
Kelly

You really need to check yourself on how you say your a nice person and an easy going person because its very apparent that your not. First you make yourself out to be better then Bethanny and its obvious that you think your better then the rest of your cast members considering the fact that you refused to put your name on Jill's charity event that was for HER daughter but you will put your name on other charity events that you've done or so you say but as long as its not your cast members you'll do anything. Second the whole so called childish fight with Bethanny was all on you, you have put yourself on this pedestal making yourself out to be better then every one else and saying that your "UP" her and she's "DOWN" here is completely pathetic. Your not better then anyone you are worse then anyone on the show your a thief who steals other peoples designs and probably other peoples stories and your an abuser who beats men for what reason who knows and then you have absolutely no emotion at all when you talk about it at the reunion your a horrible and nasty person and I don't know you and I'm glad I don't because you would be on my crap list and I hope and cross my fingers that you DO NOT come back next season

erika
erika

Kelly, I love you!!! You are beautiful, smart, and have a lot of class... I think Bethenny just doesn't like you and is really just jealous. The fact you said you were here and b there, i think meant the level of sophistication with manners--not class; i think most viewers are failing to understand this..either way, i think that you are great, b just had an issue before with you and tried to drag it...

I love that you are great with your kids, you are a strong woman, and great example...i will support everything you do and i know so will my friends and boyfriend who absolutely loves you.. :)

Beta
Beta

Kelly,

To start, you are one true beautiful woman. Sophisticated simplicity. You probably heard that sooooo many times so, moving on...! About Bethenny, to me she comes out as a needy child who needs attention an validation. And I am not saying that as criticism, but an observation. I see in her eyes that she is struggling to make you see the real her. It's like deep down, she's just a frightened child struggling to make friends. On that note Kelly, please, give her a chance!! No need for heated arguments. Spend the day with her at the pool, have lunch, whatever. My sister's behavior is exactly like that of Bethenny. In the end, they just want to be loved. Best wishes, Beta

Rosanne
Rosanne

Kelly, I am one of the few who also thinks Bethenny is nasty and just plain thinks she is so important! Always needs the attention and who ever knows when they are going to offend her. I can see she makes you feel very unconfortable. It's like she studies you and then goes in for the kill. It was not her place to say a word to you at the first fundraiser meeting. It was Jill's meeting. Bethenny used Jill and her daughter as an excuse to go after you. You are more of a lady then she, she is stuck in high school. Maybe it's because she is the only one without children. Who knows she has a lot of growing up to do. Now as far as the Holloween Party is concerned, you let Jill know that you were going to be late so why didn't she tell everyone? Why did they leave? Since B. does not like you she should of been happy you weren't there. Actually I think your much to nice for that group. They are always competing with one another. You don't seem to be interested in that. That's good. I hope you stay on the show. I think your life is very interesting and you are very secure vs Miss B. who seems to need constant praise in order to function for the day.Good Luck!