LuAnn de Lesseps

The Countess discusses her relationship with her daughter, and describes the inspiration behind her new book!

on Apr 21, 20090

Victoria comes home most weekends, but it was the first time she was home after going away to school, so it was great. She has adjusted beautifully and has made great friends. It was so nice having her all to myself for the day. We really enjoyed ourselves!

Victoria is a lot like me. She is very respectful of me as a parent, just as I was with my mother. I'm very lucky. She is easy-going and fun to be around. She has a gift of making people feel comfortable.

We didn't really know anyone at Kelly's Halloween party. It was a strange group of people that none of us had ever seen before. We had many great parties to attend, but we went to Kelly's party to be there for her and she wasn't there. I couldn't believe that she would host a party and not be there to greet her guests! She never apologized to me personally.

It's amazing and so exciting to see my book on bookshelves! If someone told me 20 years ago that I would have a top selling book I would have said, "You're kidding." I've always wanted to write about my experiences as a young girl growing up in CT and moving to NY to model and making a life for myself in Europe. I'm so grateful to have the opportunity to share my life experiences.

157 comments
KMal
KMal

I am dying to know where you got that butterfly necklace you wore on last week's episode. It looked vintage but if its not, please share!

Viewer
Viewer

Hello Luann! I really enjoyed this season and look forward to the next. Thanks for reminding us all what CLASS really is! Sorry for your personal trials, but you are strong! Carry on!!! Peace and Love

Lisa_Talking
Lisa_Talking

LuAnn, I have really admired you this season because, for the most part, you refrained from criticizing the other women or gossiping or being catty. The one exception was when you talked about Kelly not showing up for her party, which was entirely justified, so I don't fault you for that comment. I also appreciate the way you dress-fashionable and attractive but not overly revealing. And you sat through that entire reunion show with perfect posture! You really come across as a lady. That said, I do think the other ladies had a point that you sometimes seem condescending with the advice and "Countess" stuff. I don't think you mean to be superior. I just don't think you're aware of how it comes over. The reason I say this is because I view you as a great role model and if you could just ever so slightly tone down those tiny things you would be absolutely perfect! Oh, and I totally understand keeping your marital trouble out of the show. For your children, absolutely the right call.

Viewer
Viewer

Countess: you are my favorite NY Housewife and you have more class in your little finger than Kelly does in her whole body. She is wrecking the show. I wish she was not on anymore. All the others are great, but not Kelly. Blessings to you and your children with the divorce. You deserve better. Sandy Gray

Viewer
Viewer

As a Dakota woman, I can't envision any indigenous person imagining that dressing like an "Indian" is an acceptable costume. It's sad, if not appalling. I hope connections to native people, to your ancestors become strong for you.

Kathy R
Kathy R

I just wanted to say that I think you are a smart, funny and gorgeous woman.I sit and watch you and the girls and think to myself, man, wish I had the class and grace that you do. You seem to be such a loving Wife and Mother as well as Friend. I am sure I am not the only one who can't wait to see the next season. Take care!

Teresa Q
Teresa Q

Luann: You are one of my favorites! Manners are a important part of social life. If olny tkid today would learn, (YOUR MANNERS ARE SHOWING)maybe they wouldnt be so mouthy and learn how to act in certian social settings! I dont think you are a snob or have a snobish ora.

Sue Mac
Sue Mac

LuAnn, Bought your book and enjoying it thoroughly. Yes, yes and yes. I agree with almost everything and where were you when my friends and mentors tried to put me through "corporate charm school". I'm very much like Bethanny and like who I am, but your tact, diplomacy, grace...I'm envious. Everyone should aspire to your standards.

Viewer from nj
Viewer from nj

I agree that your turquoise necklace is beautiful; is this an heirloom? I understand you are of American Indian heritage. My sister worked on an Indian Reservation in Washington state, and has increased our awareness of their culture.

Victoria
Victoria

I must have the turqoise necklace! Sure I can't afford it but where can I find one?

Valerie
Valerie

LuAnn, I have to laugh you pride yourself on class, manners, and etiquette, meanwhile you associate with Kelly who has absolutely no class at all!! She is fake and phony with no class OR manners. I would think you would want to surround yourself with a better circle of people than her. She is a joke and her attitude is disgraceful! The way she treated Bethenny is disgusting and her behavior at her own party was a vivid display of her lack of class..to show up late and a cash bar NO CLASS!! I may not have as much money as you people but I would never have a cash bar at any function I host! If you are going to keep the tight knit relationship with her, than you better be ready to come down a bit off your high horse "countess". Give me a break!

L. Shell
L. Shell

LuAnn - I think you are lovely, but do wonder why you want to expose your friends and family to Kelly. Kelly has no class. Late to your own party and a cash bar! And after stating at a charity meeting that "I don't put my name on anything-ever!" Kelly is tacky and that laugh! Sicky, girly sweet and phony, and she did trash Bethany and Bethany spoke frankly at the charity meeting and Kelly deserved all that was said to and about her. Bethany is so much cooler, but not as cool as you. Keep up the good work and good luck with your book! L. Shell

Remy
Remy

You seem like a nice woman - but I have to be honest, sometimes a little "full" of yourself. You must always remember where you came from. Anyhow, I think your daughter is sooo gorgeous and sweet and well mannered. You are so lucky to have a daughter like Victoria. There is such a sweetness - sadness?? in her eyes. Telll her how much you love her! I notice when she cam home from school she was telling you how much you missed her and you did not say it back - even though we all know how much you did. Also, please can anyone talk some sense - or manners into Kelly? what is wrong with this woman? I only hope that after the episodes with her and Bethenny have aired that her frineds and family will straighten her out!

Viewer
Viewer

I loved to see you and Victoria interact in this episode. It was just precious. Specifically I loved it when you asked Victoria to set the plans for the day and when she said she didn't know, you said, "Bad Answer, you should always know what you want." What an empowering message to give her!! Kudos!

Pat
Pat

I think the Countess is extremely snobbish, and is convinced that her being in a different "class" makes her better than others. That is sad because it's phony and it really shows that one has no class. However, her children are lovely.

Ana T.
Ana T.

Hi LuAnn! You are truly my favorite housewife! You carry yourself with such class and elegance that your book can't help but be a best seller. I wish you and yours the best.

B
B

Last season I only made one comment... about how a family with "class" allows their children to talk with their mouths full of food. Uncouth. This season Victoria and her eating habits became a subject during a lunch with her friends. How embarrassing for her. Tacky on your part. Telling the little girl in the "Smart Girls Club" that "losing weight is the easy part." Insensitive. Not sure why you are writing a book on class and etiquette.

Nancy
Nancy

I am a huge fan of the show and am looking forward to your book. While I admire all of the people on the show for being honest,and not hiding from the camera I must admit that you and Bethenny are my favorites. I love watching you interact with your children, your husband, your friends and the people that you do charity work with. I especially the dignity with which you treat your house keeper/nanny. I was delighted by the episode when she came home from vacation and you told her how amazing she looks (she lost so much weight good for her) and how much you missed and needed her! I can't wait for next season! Any plans for a book signing in Rhode Island? We are just down the coast.

Viewer
Viewer

Luann, you seem like a nice enough lady. Please give Kelly some one on one lessons on manners & etiquette! She doesn't just need the book, she needs hands on help! As for Ramona.... she's hopeless!!! Keep up the good work Luann. You're a classy lady!

Viewer
Viewer

Hi!! Really can't wait to read your book!! I hope all is going well for you--you are the type of gal I would love as a friend--and you have a big heart. Keep smilin' Luann!!!

SANDRA
SANDRA

Luann, I think you are a sweetheart. You are always looking for ways to help others less fortunate, that is great! But, you really should have paid for your own surfing lesson the day that you and Bethany took that lesson.....

Amanda
Amanda

well if this doesn't make it to the boards... I know that she will only allow the goodies and that would be ashame and so shallow. Luann, Ithink you are pretty grounded, I still got very turned off when you got bent out of shape when someone didn't call you a Countess..I mean come on, how pretincious! You married a Count you wern't born a Countess and let me tell you, there is a difference my dear. Your kids seem fine, and you seem to be a strong and pretty resilient women, sometimes you come across too confident which can be off putting, but I will happily take that over the silly cat fighting with the other cartoon characters. Just be yourself...kudos to you for the book, haven't read it but God knows our society and this generation in general desperately needs a good strong dose of values and manners!!

zippy
zippy

I only see East Coast appearances, will there be any on the West Coast? What was your idea on the cash bar, classy or trashy?

Viewer
Viewer

Inoki, you are one classless b*%#&.

LuAnne, I think you are a cool girl.

Why does anyone have such a big deal about you being a Countess. LuANNE De lessap was (or still is) a Countess, by marriage or not, she had (has) the title, and she is saying it as is. To me it's obvious that she probably had more chance to learn/experience/think about class and manners than the rest of us, so let her just do her thing. And obviously all those hateful bloggers know nothing about class to be so demeaning - they could all learn a thing or two.

BRAVO09
BRAVO09

lu ann is cool. i can tell shes a good person. i hate what her count did to her. his loss but isnt it always. she has style grace and is the mother of his 2 great kids when will they ever stop chasing what they already have at home.

Viewer
Viewer

I am sorry to say that I find you completely condescending and border-line rude to most people. To act as if you are better that most because you married into a "title" is ridiculous. The way that you talk to people is ridiculous, is that supposed to be the funny part of the show? Class is not defind by "title", rather class is defined by the person.

A book on etiquette? That's hysterical. Did you see the way those poor girls who were subjected to your rant on being a countess looked at you? Have you no contact with real people?

Any idea on how to be real?

Carolyn L.
Carolyn L.

Hello LuAnn, It didn't surprised me that Kelly was late to her own party. Like Bethenny stated to Ramona that Kelly has an issue with time. I hope you see now that Kelly is all about herself. And what parent trick or treats at 11pm????. If she's going to be late she could at least find some kind of way to call you. that's just no excuse for being constantly late ALL the time. And also love the shopping day with your daughter. your daughter seems to have a good head on her shoulders and that is so refreshing to see. So far Ally and your daughter seemed to be well mannered and respectful. And Ramona's daughter? Avery, if she talked to my mother the way she talked to hers? My mother will let her know in a heartbeat that you don't speak to her in that manner. Looking forward to the next episode.

Michelle
Michelle

How can you haggle with the street vendor over the price of those necklaces and then go into that clothing store and the price "doesn't matter"? Do you think maybe the street vendor may need the money more than a high end clothing store?

Viewer
Viewer

LuAnn I do like you over all but you seen a bit fake at times. Try following the standards you hold to others.

Viewer
Viewer

LuAnn, it was great to see Victoria come home during break. I hope what was viewed/edited was not all. Victoria struck me as being disenchanted with 'your' idea of shopping. I agree she has changed and for the good - she has realized all that you have is not as valuable or necessary. She shopped Goodwill, surprisingly, not knowing what a thrift store [is] and believe it or not 'bargained' shopped and seemed to have had a good time with her friend. Your exepression was disrespectful to those who don't have what you 'presently' have. Victoria has a giving/caring soul don't be surprised if she takes another more meaningful route in life. May not be to your liking but I will not be surprised to see Victoria very involved and chairing her own charit[ies]. Appreciate and learn from your daughter, you did a beautiful job raising her - let her fly! Victoria be yourself and do not be shamed or ashamed - you have a beautiful unselfish heart.

Susan
Susan

Dear Countess de Lesseps,

I encountered you late afternoon yesterday, April 25, 2009, on the streets of Manhattan. It was a blissful Spring day, and you looked as though you were in love! Just lovely!

I handed you a flyer. If you could, please find it in your heart to spread the word it would be a tremendous act of kindness.

Thank for your time and consideration.

Sincerely, Susan Pietri

Kandi
Kandi

Thank god you sent your daughter away to school, I bet she will get more class than what you say you have. I was impressed with her going to the thrift store good for her. I for one will not buy your book.

Viewer
Viewer

I really appreciate seeing you with your charity work. You actually work with the people! It's nice to see instead of just attending meetings. Your true class shines thru!

Viewer
Viewer

I have to agree with another comment regarding the reaction to your daughter shopping at the thrift store. I thought sure, you would have said something negative about that shopping spree but you totally surprised me. Either you were very conscious about how that would come across to the viewers, or you truly are that person. I was impressed.

RAH
RAH

I think the person that should read your book is KELLY, she is very mean spirited, how can you have a party and NOT be there to greet your guests???? Send her a signed copy, it would be a blessing to ALL of us....... Take care, you are a very warm and caring person who deserves nothing but the BEST!!!!

Viewer
Viewer

I am surprised that you yelled at Kelly during the reunion show. First of all you should be above that- don't you cover that in your book. And- you off all people shouldn't kick people when they are down.

Viewer
Viewer

Countess - your radiance shines through each and every episode. I guess a better word would be elegance. And you have fun no matter which party or group you're with. I like that best about you. On the serious side, I'm sorry to hear about your pending divorce. If you're ready to talk about it, I have a question - did you see it coming? You're a very intelligent woman so my guess is yes. And, will you and the kids have a life uninterrupted or is everything going to change (I hope not!). You deserve the best!

Hang in there and keep that high spirit!

giogio123
giogio123

I have a problem with women who take most of their identity from their husband, ergo "I'm the Countess!" Big whoop. LuAnn must certainly have other things to focus on for her identity - her Native American heritage for example. She is haughty and much too caught up with her social standing to make a really significant mark on the world. Now that she and the Count are separated, will she continue to self-identify as the Countess?

KathyP
KathyP

I think you are a gorgeous woman who is classy but you can be a tad overbearing. I chalk this up to the life you have led and lead and the company you keep.

I like that your daughter went to the Goodwill store and could see that she can aquire decent clothing at a fraction of the cost. I hope this showed to those more well-off that their donations are put to good use and quality is appreciated even by those who are in dire straits.

mmc
mmc

Countess, It was nice to see you with your daughter. Having three grown (and wonderful )sons, I would imagine the Mother -Daughter relationship is different.Victoria seems to be growing into a sweet young lady. I wish the best to you and your family at this difficult time in your life.In the end you will have the last laugh because you are still young and beautiful.

Viewer
Viewer

Your daughter is very beautiful and seems so down to earth and not pretentious like the young girls on the OC show. Your daughter does not need expensive clothes, make up, tans, bling, etc. She will be always be prettier with no make up and her own style of cute/funky clothes from the fun "thrift" stores, etc. that many kids are into these days. It's more original and gives back to society to see a girl like her be herself and not get into the expensive trends with the clothes, shoes, tans, purses, etc. like the OC kids.

Viewer
Viewer

I think it showed a lot how Victoria wasn't so interested in shopping and material things. She made you aware that you had a dress like the one you bought and even asked the price. You should be proud she is conservative about money.

Kimmitsa
Kimmitsa

Lu Ann-

I think you have a wonderful classy manner about yourself, I think you are an interesting woman...but, I understand that being a Countess is a great part of you. The only thing that grates on my nerves is that you seem to speak of your title morning, noon and night. I myself think that you, Lu Ann carries so much on just you being you. I feel that though being a Countess sounds so chic and WOW, the person that most of us can relate to is the one that is a great mother, great friend, very together woman, (with the help a cute little Rosie), and last but not least...can put together whatever you are wearing casual day with great accessories or an elegant almost effortless look that is priceless. Maybe cut using the title in half, "asun comminors coulds use that breaks".

Kimmitsa
Kimmitsa

Lu Ann-

I think you have a wonderful classy manner about yourself, I think you are an interesting woman...but, I understand that being a Countess is a great part of you. The only thing that grates on my nerves is that you seem to speak of your title morning, noon and night. I myself think that you, Lu Ann carries so much on just you being you. I feel that though being a Countess sounds so chic and WOW, the person that most of us can relate to is the one that is a great mother, great friend, very together woman, (with the help a cute little Rosie), and last but not least...can put together whatever you are wearing casual day with great accessories or an elegant almost effortless look that is priceless. Maybe cut using the title in half, "asun comminors coulds use that breaks".

Harts
Harts

LuAnn, you are a real Cinderella story! You may have not married the prince, almost the duke, but ended up with a count! I like your soft, sweet, personality. You did hurt Beth's feelings about the photo in the magazine. I think you did it unintentional since you being a model retouching must be a normal process to you. I think you were the one that introduce Kelly into the group and that was a mistake! Kelly has proven that she is very selfish and self centered! I hope your new book is awesome. I'll be looking out for it.

John SMith
John SMith

you really do have to start talking about your Indian tribe instead of trying to impress us all the time with being a Countess which is a title you got by marriage, not by birth. You were born Indian, you say. Talk about that. That's ROYAL too. Or are you ashamed of it?

Viewer
Viewer

LuAnn,

Your daughter is a class act. I am the mother of a 16 month old girl and I hope that my daughter and I will have the kind of relationship that you and Victoria appear to have. She truly is respectful and kind, and she seems to have a healthy view on life. I was raised around great wealth in North Jersey, and it was rare to see teenage children who were not completely spoiled brats. Keep up the good work and know that no matter what life throws at you, your kids will always be there for you to pull you through.

Hokulani
Hokulani

Countess, please do a public service for everyone: Teach Kelley some manners!

Viewer
Viewer

Honestly, all this sucking up to the "countess" is making me puke. Its like high school. Wannabees. Do you think she really cares? BTW you couldn't pay me to live in New York. Doesn't anyone notice the weather sucks? Go Cali!

TEAM BETHANY