Well, the hardest part of this episode was watching me talk to my good friend Joanie about my father. I have to tell you, I cried and shook all over again. Our conversation was so emotional and struck such a deep chord in me. I am not a perfect person, but I am trying. We are all a product of our environment. It was really difficult for me to share my past with Joanie and everyone else, even now. I have always been so ashamed and have tried to block out those ugly memories I witnessed between my mom and dad.
Even as I am writing this I am crying, crying for the love I never got from my father, crying for the way my mom was abused by my father, crying for the lost childhood I never had because of my father. Unless you lived through this, no one can begin to imagine what it's like. I thank God every day my loving husband Mario convinced me to have my father at our home over Christmas. I needed closure. It would have been even more devastating if he had died and we never made peace with each other. I encourage everyone to make peace with estranged loved ones. By spending time with my father and forgiving him, it freed me of a weight that was always so heavy upon me. I never realized what a heavy burden it was until his passing. Since his death I have been looking at everything differently. I have a calmness to me I never had before. I am trying to think before I speak, though I still have a hard time with it. I find myself constantly saying to people, "I would like to share some thoughts with you, and I do not mean to offend you," or "I hope I don't come across rude, if I did I am sorry" etc. I still have a long way to go, as you will see in future episodes. All I can say is that I am trying and I am aware.
The most important thing is that I never say anything intending to be mean-spirited or vicious, and the people who are my close friends know this about me.
Omg! You were just so real tonight. My opinion of you has change since last year. From the first episode this season, I feel like we are seeing the real Ramona. What a terrible ordeal you went thru as a child. I think you have been misrepresented and I'm glad I'm seeing the real you now. Your a gem.
Bless Mario for encouraging you. I'm SO happy for you that you were able to finish that chapter of your life on your own terms.
I think your anger about your father influences how insensitive you are about other cast member's feelings. You say really hurtful things sometimes and it might be because your father said hurtful things to you.
It was embarrassing the way you treated your husband in that meeting. That's another thing you need to work on.
I'm glad you are trying to be a better person and feel for what you went through with your father.
I can not even express my sadness for you and what you went through. I also lost my childhood and have grieved for the relationship I will never have with my father. It sounds like time for closure was very helpful.
You have stated that you are starting anew this season or year...that is wonderful. You have also said that you do not want to take sides or be put in the middle. Sweetie~ your a very bright woman and surely you realize that you can not have your cake and eat it too??? Right?? You want to hear both sides of the story with everything and you want to voice your feelings about what happened but you do not want to be in the middle or even involved at all...which is such a huge step in growth for you by the way... if you truly are different now, it doesnt mean you will be perfect, but there has to be action to follow that statement. It would be so nice to see you not get nasty with someone in just one episode this season. Just because you have an opinion does not mean it has to be voiced...true??? It truly seems as though you were sincere with your desire to handle yourself different. I really hope you can show some of these other women that seem to thrive on chaos, especially when it is someone elses chaos, how to be a real lady without the gossip, putdowns, backstabbing and drama. I wish you the best in setting the bar for the rest of your cast mates.
Ramona luv the fact that you are being the lady of the season your luv courtsey and compassion speaks volums you can rich poor but to be nice and open to it will bring ao much to you let the ones that are true evil stay the way you are be the example to your luvly daughter..I also like the fact that you are open to Simon and Alex because they are and have been nice real people lie the new you.Phony hostle people stink I can smell luv and kindness miles away and the carma and reward are endless.Peoeple that want to be asses phony like they are beter then everyone will be lonely people and can alwaays walk away from them be the better person I feel your lose sweety really luv the new you let that old person go
Your sharing about your father was the most touching thing not only in this episode, but in the season so far. It has been the one shining moment of humanity in the whole season up to this point.
I understand now the woundedness that you have had all these years and I am so happy that you have released it. I understand your random, "out-of-the-blue" comments. We know you are trying to be more sensitive and understand the mistakes you might make.
Our hearts go out to you. Thank you for being so vulnerable before the whole country on this matter. So many people can relate to this.
Ramona, so many times a loved one can be really mean during their life. At the time they know they are leaving us, they want to make amends. Your father was lucky to get to be with you for the brief moments you spent with him, and for the earlier part of your life, it was HIS loss. I feel your grief. Janet
I am so proud of the journey that you are taking to change your life for the better. I believe that as individuals we are our own worst critics. I know for myself this is true. This as you stated is a learning process and it is. Don't get "bogged down" with all of the petty things, keep your focus and don't let LuAnn "bait you" or Jill drag you down. I truly believe that Jill is jealous of you, your success and your independence.
You are truly blessed with a wonderful husband, a beautiful, intelligent daughter and a wonderful friend - Joanni.
Good for you Ramona. Admitting there is a problem is the first step. I don't doubt your intentions are good. Your struggle will be in not voicing your opinion at times, and keeping them inside. I know. I was the same, until I realised I was alienating people. Good luck.
Ramona: You had me in tears watching the episode and reading this posting. I can only imagine how hard it was to open up with so many people watching but I am sure you gave hope to people who had gone or are going thru painfull relationships with those they love...hope that nothing last forever and that they can reinvent themselves despite their past. Hold on to the memory of your last Xmas and continue to put your energy in the family you now have. Your daugther is a delight to watch. I love your facial expressions and love, love the dress and how you looked on the pictures of Bethenny's wedding!!
I liked the fact that you defended Jill on today's episode but I most say that Jill did not deserve it this time but never the less, it was nice to hear it...not sure she would had done the same thing for you :)
BTW: your pieces in HSN are BEAUTIFUL!!
Ramona - That was touching.... am enjoying you more than ever this season. You and Bet make the show worth watching. Peace... Jace_
Romona, you are awesome! I was crying with you during your scene with Jodi... I think you are the most "real" out of all the housewives. You are my fav!
Ramona I think you are on a path of personal growth and sometimes that means reliving and revealing painful things in one's life. You are trying to do something positive for yourself and that is a good thing. Change can be a good thing. It is good to see you trying to be more positive and sharing more about who you really are
Ramona, I just want to say thank you. You said something on the show tonight that has helped me more than you can even imagine. I have stop working, and I am home all the time now..I feel sometimes that there isn't much point in anything. You said tonight that there are always new beginnings. I have been praying every night for God to help me. I think you are an angel, because your right, My life may be different from what it was, but its not over. I can start a new life and thats just what I am going to do..thanks, ramona..
Thank you so much for being so open, Ramona! I am a young twenty-something desperately trying to become independent from a toxic relationship with an abusive mother and absent father. You have given me hope that I can be both successful and happy, despite my upbringing - but also, you have helped me learn that it's important to keep everything in perspective and maybe it's not best to completely cut ties and burn bridges with my mom... at least not forever.
Thanks again for the inspiration! Stay *tru* to you and I will do the same!
I had the same type of childhood. I wept when he died but it took many many years of work on myself to truly forgive him. He was a product of his environment and I am not sure he could help himself as he was very insecure. It is very true that when you truly deep inside forgive and his actions or things he said no longer have power over you there is a weight lifted. You really do feel lighter. Happy you shared that!!!
WOW!!!! Ramona...I so felt for you this episode!(4-1-2010) Your testimonial of your life growing up was so touching!
I totally get who you are and why you say it like it is now in your adult life! No one did it when you were growing up...they just lived a fake face!
"Kudos" to you girl! You stopped the cycle of disfunction! You set a good example! AND...I don't care who does not agree with me! I think you are doing a great job of personal growth! Keep it up girl...you will be the person you strive to be in the end!!!!!
How can you insist you never say anything intended to be mean-spirited when the teaser for next week's episode shows you telling Bethany her relationship with Jason probably won't last? That's certainly a mean-spirited remark, and I can't believe you didn't intended it to come across that way.
Ramona, You put it in perspective for me tonight. I have been with my husband since 1998 after one failed marriage, yet I am only 34 years old. From late 1998-2000 I was beaten in my home like a man. I was given fist punches, bruised hand marks around my throat, my head was put into the edge of a window with a knot yet ten years later and remember crawling around on the floor being pulled by my hair. After it would happen, he would cry and say how truly sorry he was. The funny part is that I really do think he was sorry about what he had done. Anyway, to make this very long story short. His father, when he was younger, treated his mother in this very same way. The grandfather treated the grandmother the same way and she somehow died at 26 years of age. Everyone "knows" but doesn't know if you know what I mean. Anyway, his father got throat cancer, grew older to be sixty something and a much gentler soul. His cancer went away then returned so he choked to death on a steak n cheese sub on his mother's deck one summer evening in 2000. Literally from that day, the anger left my husband and he has never placed he hands on me again. No classes, no therapy. It took the death of his father and I had never heard of that until you spoke of losing that anger tonight after your father passed. Thank you for talking about it as it has helped me bring some closure and explanation as to what my husband was experiencing as an abused child and a child that watched his mother go through this and treated his soon to be wife the same way. Yet, it took his passing for the anger to literally just lift and now he has experienced two strokes at the age of 36 and he is just so thankful to be alive. We struggle daily as I work as a reservationist for a five star five diamond inn that is world renowned and see women like yourself each night and wish I could be financially stable and take care of my family the way you all do. Yet, we have so many things in common. I wish we could talk for hours. I am so happy you have found some peace.
I want to say I'm sorry for the life you experienced growing up! One can never know how hard it is until they've experienced themselves. I pray that only good comes your way especially now that you are renewing all aspects of your life. p.s. The dress you wore for Bethenny's wedding was absolutely stunning! And you looked wonderful in it!
Ramona- If I had to choose my favorite housewife you would definetly be in the running. I think it's was extremely strong of you to express your feelings about your fathers death on tv. You have inspired me to forgive people in my family because even though my family crisis is not as extreme as what you had it is still tramatizing. You really made me realize I want to make sure at some point I can bond with them and forgive them. Also I think you are the best housewife because you don't let anyone push you around and you don't take BS. Maybe I have no reason but I'm Always on your side! Ramona you just rock! -Shelby
I think your a true and honest person, I personally find you fun and refreshing! I know how it is to have a strong parent in the family, for I grewup with a very strick and ironhanded german father....boy, im almost 50 and my father still makes me feel like im 6 years old and im finally understanding him after all these years. Stay stong and God's blessing on you and your family, and please don't change yourself for other people, be yourself because your wonderfully crazy, loving and fun!!!
Ramona I'm glad your tring to do better. I don't think most of the things you say you do it to be mean. I think most the things you say are funny. I don't fhink that Jill and LuAnn are really your friends.I feel sorry for you sometimes when they get on you.Stick with Alex and Bethenny I think there better friends to you. Good luck with your life change
Ramona, I grew up with an abusive father. It was horrible the way he treated mymom and us kids. My dad ended up getting in a head on collision 8 years ago and under went several brain surgeries. As all of us kids were standing around his bed after his 1st surgery he apologized to us for everything. I immediatelt forgave him. I have felt so free ever since then. I love the new you. I see how hard you are trying. P.S. You looked AMAZING in the dress you wore to Bethanny's wedding.
Ramona what you talked about was very brave and i applaud you for it i also came from a home where my father was abusive and i know how hard it is to tell people about it. As i got older i forgave him as well and we truly had a great relationship in his last years i lost my father in 2006 and i still miss him to this day so i'm glad you made up with him before he passed. By the way you so remind me of myself i always say what's on my mind without thinking but 9 times out of 10 its the truth but some people can't handle the truth so i applaud you !!
Hi Ramona. I just wanted to tell you that I was very affected by the conversation you had with your friend on last night's episode. I think you're an amazing person because you have obviously been in survival mode for a long time, which has served you well in stopping the cycle of abuse in your own life and that of your daughter, for that you must be very proud, but now you are ready to open your life to even better things! I want you to know that the comments you made about life going on and always having an opportunity to make it better will stay with me forever. You should be very proud of the lessons you've passed on to your daughter, which you and so many other women have had to learn the hard way! Happy Easter to you and your family!
Hey Ramona! Funny girl you! Even when your timing is a little off - I usually crack up when you call it like you see it with the fake fronts. You are looking great and I'm happy you made peace w/your Dad. The weight off of your shoulders SHOWS. Go ahead and cry all you need to, seems like these are tears of relief and release instead of anger and turmoil that you held for so long. I also loved it when you hugged Simon last night! Alex and Simon have taken a lot from you and are still willing to let it all go. I hope you stick to it and don't turn on them. And maybe quit insulting their Brooklyn. I know nothing about NY, but I'm sure there are a lot of people that live there that you are insulting that don't deserve it. It makes you seem like you think you are "up here and they are down there". Know what I mean? Just a thought. I know there is no telling you what to say or not say! (that's a compliment!). Hey - maybe you figured it out yourself during your emotional time w/your friend. It isn't Brooklyn you hate, it is just a place you had some traumatic times growing up... Anyway - Have fun and HB!
Ramona, You were rude to Mario at the meeting to sell your jewelry.You kept interrupting him and made what he had to say seem unimportant.I think you owe him an apology.He seems like a good husband and father.Count your blessings.Though you didn't have the best childhood, put it in the past now.You had closure with your Father and that was a really good thing.So many of us don't have perfect childhoods but we learn what not to do and we go on and make a better life for our children.Kiss Mario and hug Avery.You're a lucky lady!
Ramona I am sooooo proud of you, May god always be with you and your family. I relate very very much to what you went thru and how as adults we still suffer the pain and memories. But its time to let go and move forward. Your a Hoot but with good intentions just remember once words come out of your mouth you cant take them back. Think then speak..
Ramona, Congratulations on your epiphany. As you will discover by making your public revelation many people will relate to deep, early injuries that create the baggage we carry around.
Coming to grips with the damage those traumas create & not taking it out on everyone else is part of being an adult.
Ramona , You made me cry last night, Thank You for sharing your story,I'am happy that you were able to make peace with your father and move on. You're wonderful, and may you find happiness always.
This may or may not help, but I hope it does. As the youngest of seven kids in a very abusive household, my mouth was my only defense. After years of therapy I came to see that it wasn't necessary to use my mouth as my only weapon. It is a learned behavior to protect yourself and it was time for me to learn I didn't have to protect myself in that manner in my adult life. Don't know if this fits you, but I sure see my old self in your behavior. We are never done working on yourselves. Good luck. Your doing great.
Bravo to you Ramona. Been where you were at, although my father is still alive at 85 years of age. He now has Alzhiemers and we have had some of the most sincere exchanges during his lucid moments. He has calmed down, and has quite a cheerful way at looking at the world. This is far from how he saw the world as a father of four, and seemingly to me, in sporadic states of rage. Hang in there, and don't try to be perfect. I do yoga, and it's a practice. So keep practising and don't beat yourself up for "slip-ups." You are human, by trying to "self-improve" too much, you may be pushing yourself into a box that is unattainable. Just be yourself, and say OK to any blemishes and move on. You'll be OK.
Ramona: I too grew up in a household like the one you describe. However, it made me MORE sensitive to other's feelings. I would never say the mean and hurtful things you do and I don't let anything come out of my mouth unchecked. I know how badly words can hurt, so I make sure mine don't.
Ramona, in the past I could not stand you. This is the first season that I have been able to tolerate you. Watching you share your story with your friend last night really made me connect with you. I went through the same thing growing up with my father and mother. I was determined growing up that I would pursue higher education and never have to feel trapped in a relationship with a man to support me. I have pursued higher education and I do have a successful career. I also have a wonderful supportive husband and daughter. My father and I have finally been able to make peace with each other. I just want to thank you so much for sharing your story. It speaks volumes about you and you are one of my favorites now! PS-I love your haircut and jewelry.
If you need to preface things with...."I would like to share some thoughts with you, and I do not mean to offend you," or "I hope I don't come across rude".... They are probably things you should not be saying in the first place. One need not say everything that passes through one's mind;}
Ramona, I can only imagine how difficult it was to go through a childhood of emptiness, and abuse. I think you have mentioned the path of personal growth and how you are attempting to be more reflective but then I am shocked by all the innappropriate comments you continue to make. I thinnk when you grow up in a household where words are used to demonstrate anger, and hurt it is difficult to make the transition to communicate in open manner. I am happy to hear that is your intention but hearing your comments make me wonder. Good luck.
Ramona, take a good look at yourself in these shows. You constantly state you aren't being mean spirited yet we see you displaying that often. Your comment about Jill's relationship with Saks was below the belt as are many of your comments. Your insecurity needs addressed and I think deep down you know this. Please take a moment and consider doing the right thing. Stop waiting to speak and start really listening to people.
I'm sorry you had to endure that painful past. I'm so sorry that you had to carry that weight for over 50 years! I agree with you to mend fractured relationships before it's too late. Obviously, you're a still work in progress in the area of quelling the unedited voices in your mind. Good luck with taming your inner beast.
Getting the back story of your sad, traumatic upbringing, really explains why you're so unstable. It's a pity that you endured years of shame as well as fear of your father. Mario seems like a Prince to show you the way out of your dark past! It's good to hear that you're trying to heal your wounds. Best of luck with that!
I have a new respect for you. You have come to grips with your demons and put them behind you. You are learning and growing, and turning into a true lady. Keep it up, because it is truly a breath of fresh air to see!
Ive had a similiar childhood, completely understand. And when having a troubling childhood I guess it makes us rough around the edges to the point that we tend to be blunt and maybe too honest for a normal person. Your adjusting well, your one of my favorites this season,no more bitter ramona, a new amazingly renewed ramona. :)
I was very fortunate to have a very loving father. He was the best. I was his favorite of 3 kids. Therefore, you're right that not experiencing abuse from a parent, I can't possibly know what it's like. However, I did have an abusive situation with one of my siblings. From adolescence, I was beaten and yelled at on a daily basis. Once we all moved out, I vowed to never be in his company again. For many, many years, we didn't speak (because I feared his wrath). I decided that change would have to come from him before a relationsip could be repaired. Until a sign from him, I steered clear. Eventually, he saw the light and went through changes. He became mellow and calmer. When I reached 50, it was magically clear skies. We talked things out and I decided to forgive him. Years have passed and things are settled and surprisingly fine. Unfortunately, our parents didn't live to see us getting along. I've decided that I can't regret what I can't change.
Romana: I cried right with you last night. I too have been trying to 'renew' myself after many years of shame, guilt, and emotional stress. I am so proud of you and your honesty to disclose those private issues related to your father. I think it helped a lot of people. You are so spunky, quirky, and REFRESHING compared to a few of the other ladies. Please don't change that about yourself. You are one of the reasons why I love the NYC Housewives. (can't tolerate the OC)
Ramona I watched the episode where you were talking about your life and your father. You had commented that you were ashamed of your life. That your father had beat your mother and you wished that you had the perfect family. Trust me honey, there is no such thing as the "Perfect Family" Some people would like you to think that but trust me there is no such thing. My mother and father gave me up to my grandparents. My mom & dad loved each other to a point. But, my fahter was a pedifile to us children. My mom only thought of just herself. Later in life she cheated on my father with my husband. Trust me I could write a book. but you have to buck it up and go on with your life and just try to make your life beter. Learn by their mistakes and pray you don't make the same. I've made mistakes in my life but have two wonderful sons and beautiful grandchildren. I've also found the man I've been looking for,it took me years but he was worth waiting for.so honey never be ashamed of your life. your life makes you the person that you are and hopefully that is a good person.