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Season 2
Season 1
Wow it’s already week four - at this stage in the first season, it was already more than half way over but in this, the third season we are not even third of the way in.
After the quick third episode recap we catch up with Bethenny as Jason gets home from work to find her lounging in her own branded SG bathrobe, after the obligatory baby/baby/baby exchange B discovers one of the best things about living with someone. There’s always someone to vent at; and baby did she vent! She recaps the Jill Stuart fashion show run in with Jill and LuAnn and once that’s done Jason decides that now is the perfect time to resolve their separate living arrangements with a cryptic “but before we can do that a commitment will be made. “ It’s sort of a pre-proposal proposal with a property lease attached.
Pamella Roland makes her second RHONY appearance (Alex, Bethenny and I went in Season One) as LuAnn and Kelly arrive. Kelly needs a pointer on how she should introduce LuAnn and after a couple of suggestions we learn that Kelly’s definition for ‘Countess’ is ‘charitable’ and ‘lovely.’ I am sure Kelly has her very own copy of the ‘Dictionary of Iconic and Superlative Adjectives’ as it seems she uses at least one in every sentence. While LuAnn thanks her for the compliment she decides that yes, she should be called Countess as “it is her name.” LuAnn, it’s not your name. That would be LuAnn de Lesseps or originally LuAnn Nadeau but ‘Countess’ is just an honorary title, to be used in lieu of Miss, Ms or Mrs, that you received when you were the wife of a Count.
Bethenny arrives and LuAnn suddenly has full color in her face as clearly her blood pressure is increasing. Bethenny decides to give her a run for her money but at least as far as we saw, the dig that B accuses L of making seemed pretty innocuous to me. After a quick set of photos with Lisa Rinna (AKA Mrs Harry Hamlin) Bethenny decides another fashion show altercation is called for. After LuAnn states how she and Jill are ‘very good friends” Bethenny tells her the types of things Jill’s been saying about LuAnn for sometime. B goes on to call her a snake (LuAnn not Jill) and LuAnn for once actually holds her own. They sit down to watch the fashion show (although the seats behind them are still pretty deserted) and just after Kelly states how embarrassed she is to see them argue. LuAnn’s conscious gets the better of her and she states to Bethenny that she is not a skank. Now last I checked my dictionary a snake is a limbless reptile and a skank is a promiscuous female. However could LuAnn have gotten confused? Arguments done, we get a quick 15 second clip of Pamella’s clothes – I wonder if Ms Roland will consent to filming in future seasons.
Simon:
I adore you and Alex! Smart, witty and a great team. I'm glad you and Alex have such a close relationship and support each other fiercly. With women like the other wives around, it's obvious that the 'buddy system' is key to survival. (They kinda remind me of hyenas. LMAO) You two would definately win Amazing Race!!!
I love your blog. Don't ever let the 'wives' scare you from your honest viewpoint for fear of retribution. I've Got Your Back! After Momma Lion Alex. (Grin)
Mikyla
hilarious blog! and on a serious note. You and Alex are a great couple who have weathered some particularly vile and below the belt comments from the get go and emerged stronger, braver and with your dignity, humor and REAL new york style intact. kudos to you both. and Jill should know - Don't mess with mama bear!
I think you are a gifted funny writer. I look forward to your blogs. The sarcasm drips off my computer screen.
K now you get mixed reviews on your blogs, but let me weigh in and say that I love them, keep doing what you are doing. pay closer attention to your spelling, usage and grammar though. Love you and Alex !
Simon, I love your wit and humor, it seems unfortunate that you and your lovely wife have to face the constant criticisms and speculations from the other housewives on themes ranging from your children to your cherry red pants. It really does make the other women look rather cruel, and I am glad to see you and Alex both hold your own. Good Luck!
Hi Simon, You and Bobby are my favorite hubby's. Love your style and how you love your wife and children. Many blessing to u and your family always.
ALl I can say Simon is......YOU and your WIFE....ARE THE BEST EVER. You two are amazing in everyway. The Housewives need to take examples from you and Alex and your relationship, you guys have it together.
Awesome in everyway
Simon, Simon, Simon, You are so funny man. Now I know why Alex married to you. You are different than OCHW's Simon, and I appliciate your brog otherwise It is so crazy to watch it!
Simon,
You are very acertive! Your blog makes everything make sense. You and Alex are the most authentic, down to earth, mature people that makes this show worth to be seen. Keep the blogs comming! You nailed it! Your kids are adorable!
Carmen
I appreciate your very detailed recounts of every episode. I have been living in Switzerland for almost a year and have not been able to watch the shows online from my location. If it wasn't for your blog, I do not think that I would understand what's going on, who's fighting, and who cares. So, keep them coming!
BTW, I also think that Jill and the other wives (with the exception of Kelly) pick on your family too much. I hope Alex comes prepared to rip them on the Reunion Special.
Kadooze Simon! Accurate recap, as I am loathing Jill this season. I don't know the details of her and Bethenny's failing out, but Jill attitude towards everyone is despicable.
I think Simon and Alex are the most normal couple. Simon truly loves his wife, has respect for her and loves that she is a very good mom! It's nice to see a couple that shares parenting as well as they do...
Simon: Love your blog, it's funny and usually right on. I can't help but point out how big a fan of Jill's you and Alex both were when she was introducing you two to people who could get your son into the Clermont school in season 1. That being said, I say go Alex don't let anyone put your kids down.
I can't stand to watch Jill anymore, so I look forward to your blog. You and Alex have been my favorites since the very beginning. I love you both, and I think you are fabulous parents. Tell Alex I think she is a wonderful mommy, and tell her that Jill can't respect her daughter enough to atleast try to be quiet while she is studying.
Simon! Friday's are my favorite day for a whole new reason these days...your recap!! I know we women tell you men that size doesn't matter, but in your case it does! I love to settle in for a few pages of Simon. Keep them coming and the longer the better. I laugh out loud every Friday morning with your rapier recaps. I also have to say that you and Alex have always been my faves on the show. I wish the producers would show more of your lovely wife. Not only is she a style icon, but she is the true etiquette queen. True class and decorum. And you are sassy, stylish, sophisticated and fun! After this show runs its course, I would like to go on record right now and suggest that you and Alex have your own show.
Simon -- I think you and Alex are perfect for each other and I mean that sincerely. Everyone is entitled to living their life the way they want and bringing up their children the way they want. There's no guarantee what we turn out like later on in life, but then if we were all exactly the same wouldn't that be boring?
Just a thought ... be careful with your words, especially in your blogs ... it does sometimes come across as "catty" and if you're trying not to be like the other housewives, that's what will happen. Appreciate that you and Alex are relatively drama-free in your own lives, and try to stay out of it on the show, but let's face it .. that's what the producers want ... don't give it to them.
My goodness, Simon, you surely provided an accurate and vivid rendition of what occurred on the show. I love the way you write. Fabulous and witty!! I think I enjoyed reading your blog than actually watching the show. Keep your blogs coming.
Simon, Great recap and your observations are right-on. You didn't mention Ramona's comment about "Jill being on her like white rice" when, in fact, the comment should have been "Jill will be on me like white on rice" it was so funny. It truly doesn't seem like there are a lot of sharp tools in the shed. Love you and Alex - and your kids are adorable.
Priceless Quote
'"Now last I checked my dictionary a snake is a limbless reptile and a skank is a promiscuous female. However could LuAnn have gotten confused?"
Simon van Kempen
Simon I adore you and Alex and your boys, and I've been a fan since season 1. However, I'm finding this season so difficult and stressful to watch. It's just one argument after another! One of the charms of RHNYC is watching to all live elements of your life that may be unattainable to others - for example, watching you and Alex renovate your charming Cobble Hill home, or watching Luann go shopping on the UES with her daughter. I realize drama is part of the makes the show fun, but too much is just too much. Please tell the producers to bring back some of the fun stuff!
Simon, I so wish my husband took an interest in fashion like you. I've spent a lot on couture gowns for yearly events, and think Alex can definitely wear that gorgeous tiger print/yellow flowing one again in a few years. Just stagger the gowns, even if you're going to see the same people. (They do forget!) Don't be sad Alex teared up when speaking about your children with Jill. Jill was knocked down a few pegs and might even learn from the discussion. Love your comment about Mario/countless too ~ very funny and appropriate. You know you and Alex were invited to LuAnn's so Ramona's just got to mind her own beeswax.
Love to you Alex and the chums. I think the chums are adorable and pretty typical kids. Wish you guys would get your own show. Now that I would watch!
Please stop blogging. I want to see the ladies talk as it is about the housewives. NOT THE HUSBANDS. Bravo ... please stop them
Simon,
You are truly growing on me - both you and Alex to be honest. I wasn't a huge fan of either of you the last 2 seasons, but I think you're true colors are really starting to show. At the end of the day, you're both very polite and kind and take other people's feelings into account. The rest of the cast is just turning out to be a little too toxic for me to handle. Nuf said!
Your recaps are awesome and your points made are right on. Both you and Alex write extremely good blogs and make great points. You are both great parents and its getting a little old watching Jill slam your parenting skills. Good luck with the rest of the season.
As a wife and mother I can appreciate how you and your wife feel. I cannot understand why the other housewives choose to use children for fodder. Like I have said before it seems that you all have found your niche, are comfortable, while others are still searching for class maybe?
I love your blog, Simon. Don't change a thing. That said, Ann Landers is dead, but I can forgive the error because you actually used the word 'internecine' in your post this week. Beautiful! Unlike Bravo, you are not pandering to the lowest common denominator. I love you for that. (They will no doubt censor this comment now.)
simon...you are hilarious. i really enjoyed reading your blog and look forward to more. when is the book coming out...im definitely going to get it!
lmtlsao@the preproposal proposal and yes the property lein
daaaaayum you are a hoot.
What happens when emotions choose your actions? The awesomeness of entertaining 'dramas'. Lovin everyone of the housewives for just that!!
In real life we learn how to deal with our emotions separate from choosing actions but not these gals....but of course that IS what these shows use to draw everyone in time and again and including me. I LOVE IT!!
Name calling and responding to name calling ~ priceless ~ more drama for us to see.
I was kinda hoping that you would address how it is that the previous scene where it WAS Luann who claimed to see the 'chums' crawling up Big People's legs suddenly became that JILL had said she saw that. See I have no doubts Jill has chastised about your children and parenting but I also wish the storylines and who said what could be kept a little straighter. It kinda helps the flow of the loose storylines of the housewives series when the actors can keep the lines clear between who said what when and where and to whom. lmtlsao
Now I for one am having a really hard time who to choose as the villian this season on RHONY.
I just LOVE LOVE LOVE how your presepctive is so clear. I for one look forward to your blog posts each and every week. Thnx for keeping up with the posts here Simon. YOU rock!
I do enjoy you on the show and your blog is great! You bring a breath of fresh air to the show, along with your wife Alex and the boys!! Keep it up and thanks!!
Oh my great goodness! You do make me laugh out loud. Marvelous "recaps". No, LuAnn is not, and never was, to the title born. And now, not to the title wed. In the vernacular of today, you rock!
I like you and Alex more and more...you each have more common sense then the rest all put together.
Yes, there have been alot of cheap shots taken at your kids and parenting....as a parent I know how hurtful it is to be judged by others. I think the Countless Countess is the worst offender and the MOST condescending. Funny thing about life , it does tend to humble us and I suspect Luann is getting hers about now...
Hello Simon, I barely glance over the other Husband's blog.. just not to interesting to me. Well, my boy you have a knack. I loved , simply love your blog. Very informative and interesting. You and Alex are awesome, keep the fire alive. I love you and wish only the best for you and your family. And let me tell you... you're kids are out of this world.. I have two boys and the saying " boys will be boys'... is the truest statement ever. Teach them to be good,loving and respectful and that is all you can do. I dont know you or Alex, but it seems you two are doing an amazing job!!!!! KUDOS!
SIMON, HERE YOU ARE PICKING ON JILL FOR MAKING A COMMENT ABOUT SOMEONE OR SOMETHING, AND YOU DO THE VERY SAME THING BY PUTTING IN YOUR 2 CENTS ABOUT SOMETHING YOU HAVE NO KNOWLEDGE ABOUT !!! WHY WHY WHY IS EVERYONE ON THE SHOW SO OBSESSED ABOUT WHAT TITLE OR NAME LUANN USES???? IF YOU ARE SO OFFEDED BY HER LAST NAME , JUST CALL HER LUANN!!! WHY DOES YOUR OWN WIFE GO BY A DIFFERENT LAST NAME??? JUST WONDERING????
LOVE. YOU. SIMON! You and Alex are the best. I'm sorry that she cried, I cried too. Mothers DO NOT like anyone saying negative things about their children and some of those housewives have said things in the past that I didn't like.
Best regards,
Sharona
Simon, As usual, your blog is fantastic. I enjoy reading this more each week than those stupid live tweet sessions or talk bubble, whatever they are called. They are so annoying. We are watching real people not actors in a scripted show. No fair how all of the tearing apart of people that goes on. Its not like back in the days when we all got together to watch Dynasty (I know i'm old) with our friends over a bottle of wine and dish. Anyway, thanks to you and Alex for keeping it real. One question, you stated that you are only 1/3 through this season. Does that mean 12 episodes? I thought (could be wrong) that there were usually only 8. Keeping fingers crossed for 12.
Simon.......... Brilliant.. Keep doing what your doing! Love the commentry! U and Alex are great to watch. Your kids are wonderful... I love how u and Alex are so true to yourselves and your family.
Great job!!
I think I love and respect you and Alex even more for not attending Perez Hilton's event. I absolutely adore you both and your darling little tikes.





Neva a dull moment with newyork housewives...
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