Simon van Kempen

Simon talks Labor Day drama, the formation of the "Dissing LuAnn Society," and more!

on Mar 12, 20100

 

So have you all recovered from Episode one’s verbal slugfest? It’s been interesting to read the cast’s respective blogs and see that some of them are dialing back their words under the guise of "It’s just good TV." That comment I certainly understand. But if you live by the sword (when you blog, comment and criticize those who appear on other Real Housewives’ shows) then surely you must also die by it too.

So after a quick recap of last weeks show, Bethenny and Jason await for the arrival of Ramona at the Pink Elephant. I know I am getting old, and yes, we’ve been to that club, but I just don’t get the attraction to sit around a crowded table at Midnight paying $200 for a bottle of Vodka (that costs $2 to make). Anyway another discussion ensues about the newly cut & coiffed Ramona, and I quote says Ramona, “I just thought my hair was like Samson & Delia.” Now, I don’t want to make a Mountain out of a Holemill but surely even if Ramona has forgotten the Old Testament, she is old enough to remember the Tom Jones's Delilah from 1968 and know about the second L?

Anyway, Bethenny and Ramona form the mutual ‘Dissing LuAnn Society’ and B tells Mario that his Count-less comment was an uncool thing to say. Hello Pot, my name is Kettle! Bethenny then compounds her error by using the made up word “attackive” as used by LuAnn during the Season 2 Reunion Specials. I sure hope she knew she was being ironic. Anyway it’s off to the dance floor and another of Ramona’s dances where she communicates with the techno gods.

The sun dawns and the new improved and less downtrodden Rosie appears in a scene that adds some human dimension to the recent divorce. It seems that no longer mopping up Aston’s pee and looking after ‘la famille de Lesseps’ has done wonders for her. In Rosie’s talking head interview we learn a more private side of LuAnn and that Rosie thinks she’s lonely and is worried for her. I will for the moment ignore LuAnn begging for a comment from Rosie on ‘how well she (LuAnn) looks’ as it as either a sign of a pretty fragile recent divorcee or a continuation of her self -centeredness.

149 comments
Kit-Kat
Kit-Kat

Simon, your blog makes me admire you more....your clever perception and your KNOWLEDGE in general is impressive. You & Alex certainly ARE the more mature of all the cast! Keep blogging....you're hilarious and they need to show more of that on the show!

PENNY
PENNY

sIMON YOU ARE THE MAN!!!!

JoElle1
JoElle1

Simon, I adore you and your lovely wife. You are the most mature of the group, most down to earth, fair, and objective. It doesn't take class to buy a $14k purse (Jill), or house in the Hamptons... but it takes class to act with dignity, elegance, and refrain from getting down in the mud with the children. Love you two!!! You are living my dream! bravo! (no pun intended)

Lenore
Lenore

The minutae of pettiness is a common theme for all of you I'd guess.

Viewer Dianne
Viewer Dianne

Simon, I enjoyed your blog this week. Luann does love all the sympathy she is receiving from Jill these days. Remarks about how good she's looking, elevates her spirits even more. Now, she waiting to be offered a spot on Playboys cover. Love how Alex handles these women, she just watches as they make fools of themselves, and doesn't take sides at all, which is refreshing! I'm enjoying watching, to see how this all plays out. Keep up the good job, as we're all enjoying your take on the girls.

Lucy's Apple
Lucy's Apple

I have to agree with Endie if anybody has the right to be pissed at the other cast members it's you and Alex. You guys have been raked through the coals by all the housewives yet you guys seem to be the most sane, always rising above the mess and showing class and respect. I agree Simon, what Jill did with having Ramona on speaker phone while LuAnn listened was very sneaky and all I could do while watching that scene was shake my head and say 'how high school'. While I will say that I didn't like you or Alex during season 1 (it seems as if you were putting on airs and way to concerned with climbing up the social ladder) you and your wife have more than redeemed yourself so I think the past needs to stay in the past and they should leave you and Alex alone. It was nice to see that you and Ramona can get along but be careful with that because right now there is a war brewing and people are taking sides, so basically they want you on thier team because you and Alex have managed to stay neutral through the whole thing, lets see if they are so willing to have you around if you get caught up in it or when it's all over and everybody makes up. I applaud your willingness to let go of all that was said about you and to move forward without holding any grudges, all you can do in a situation like that is exactly what you have been doing, sit back and chuckle at all the others who threw stones at you while thier glass house comes tumbling down.

Pask
Pask

Simon, I truly enjoy your take on the madness. Please keep it up!

Allyson in D.C.
Allyson in D.C.

Simon, I must say every now and then you have your moments that make me role my eyes and say, "realy?", but I'll give it to you and Alex, you are the down-to-earth ones of the show. You speak the truth, you're true to who you are and you're...dare I say this, a wise man. You and Alex are a bit quirky at times, but that adds character to who are you. Thank you for your honesty. It keeps you human to the rest of us and I appreciate that.

DTurner
DTurner

Simon,

In season one, I think someone must have told you and Alex to act "high society" and that's why you did it. In season 1 and 2 you're definitely more real and I love it! Oh and in season 2, I loved loved loved the halloween episode where you and Alex gave out candy to the kids from a Brooklyn city stoop. You two are refreshing. I also love reading your blogs so keep them coming. You're alright in my book.

blt
blt

Simon? Really? I was bored after the second paragraph. Your blog reads like a dissertation...keep it short and sweet.

Lana
Lana

Never thought I would find your blogs to be the most interesting and correct of the bunch....who knew? Please keep blogging...you really see the light

Cydney
Cydney

Simon, Author, Author! Your blogs are exciting, I relish them.

Endie
Endie

Simon, if anyone has the right to be upset about what someone has said or done to them it has to be you and Alex. You all have been dissed by everyone on the show at one time or another and you did nothing wrong. All of the other ladies talk too much, maybe get a little too full of themselves at times, or don't think before they speak; yet Alex and Simon are guilty of none of these things, but have had negative things said about them and are always willing to forgive. Simon and Alex are the class act of the show.

SF Viewer
SF Viewer

You are a great writer! I LOVE your blog.

Viewer Melanie/Michigan
Viewer Melanie/Michigan

Hi--I greatly enjoy your blogs. Intelligeance always helps! I'm still trying to figure out why you guys want to be part of all these "little girls" with issues. I do feel you are partnered with the most grounded one and wish you both well.

Becky of MS.
Becky of MS.

I've watched each season of HW of NY, and if anyone would have told me the 1st season I would be commenting on your blog I would have said they were crazy. But I think you and Alex are the most normal of the bunch. Keep the blogs coming!!

benevolentdogg
benevolentdogg

I like you more and more as I watch season 3 and read your blog entries.

It would seem that you are among the few to remain clear-headed as the rest of the cast descend in to their own self-centered delusional fantasy land.

donna g.
donna g.

Your's is the first blog I go to now. I really enjoy it, you give a great recap, plus it's interesting to get a male's opinion on all of this chick drama.

Mitya
Mitya

Simon, this season you & Alex seem to be the more centered and less "picked on"couple which is finally nice to see. I never understood why Ramona or any of the other cast members had such an issue with your lifestyle or parenting skills. You both come across as very true to who you are as people and I thought the most hypocritical thing all the other women said in past seasons was the social climbing attribute they tagged you for- HELLO, NYC is clearly one of the metropolitan cities where a certain echelon does desire to be photographed and socialize with their own ilk and to call you guys out for doing exactly what they all do was simply displaying jealousy and peeing on their territory like wild dogs. I love that you are both articulate, diplomatic and clearly love life.

farmerzdaughter
farmerzdaughter

Pay no attention to anyone's comments regarding you being long-winded! I look forward to your blog every week and you are hilarious with the recaps! I love the play by play because your comments add an perspective we don't have! So, keep it up!

NYC Viewer
NYC Viewer

Great blog! I am definitely going to continue reading yours first each week!

Sara S
Sara S

With this site and the Televisionwithoutpity one, I read comments from lots of folks doing armchair psychology each episode. How thick your skin must be!

I like what I see of you and your wife on my tv and have enjoyed your blogs.

CMR
CMR

Simon

I look for your blog first every week. You are a wonderful writer. Thanks for your insights and wit! You and Alex both display maturity and wisdom that the other housewives would do well to emulate.

kathleencruz
kathleencruz

I LOVE ALL THE DETAIL THAT U PUT IN UR BBLOG IT CAUGHT MY EYE AND WAS THE MOST INTESTING OF ALL!! UR WAY COOL!!!

Oregon Viewer
Oregon Viewer

A little too much detail in your blog. It is a bit long winded. Focus on comments rather than a play by play.

Wendy English
Wendy English

I hope we see lots more of you and Alex. I think you are the most likable and relatable of the group. I'd love to see more of how you and Alex handle careers, family, marriage ... Bethenny will have a better understanding of you and Alex when she has her own child and is trying to keep all the juggling balls in the air. (que the circus music) That said, I am impressed with Bethenny's success and I think that Alex and Bethenny should team up on a book - 'The Real Housewives Girlfriends Guide To Pregnancy, The First Year ... and so on'

JF
JF

I am so glad someone else caught the Playboy comment!!! Especially since "The Girls Next Door" did an episode looking for the 55th anniversary girl a year or so ago. Kelly really is stupid. She's too old to pull off the ditzy girl routine.

Susan12
Susan12

Haha - fun blog. It's funny how you two have wound up to be clearly the most normal, level-headed and honest people of the bunch. Keep writing!

rdsmommy
rdsmommy

You have really come into your own. Time to start an "Gossip Girl" style celebrity blog....PLEASE!

Alex seems so adorable, and you are so acerbic LOVE IT! Betheny is insecure and uses sarcasm, I think she and Alex could become close if Betheny gains some confidence Jill - ugh - what happened to her? She, LuAnne and Kelly remind me of the three witches in Hocus Pocus...

Hope we'll get to see you guys with the kids later, and I hope that you are still speaking french with them! so important

PLEASE keep blogging yours is hysterical.

you're hilarious!
you're hilarious!

Um, Simon...you're hilarious! I loved reading this blog and hope you continue to write after every single episode. I love, love, love your take on almost every scene. This is priceless!

Too much Reality
Too much Reality

Well written Blog. Smart, Clever. Don't like the play by play, but I'l buy the book. staying tuned...

jamie1295
jamie1295

Very sharp, Simon! I've got to say, now that you and Alex aren't trying to "move up" into "better" circles, you both come across as very likable and classy. I like the fact that you state what is true, and avoid backstabbing. The others have a lot to learn from you....

SharonCP
SharonCP

You and Alex are the only reason I continue to watch this show, go Silex!!

Mary H.
Mary H.

Best blog ever! I can't wait to keep reading what you write. while i love this show the woman have really taken it to a new and even lower level. HA - keep up the good work Simon!!

still surprised!
still surprised!

Your blog is funny and so true. Those women getting crazier only makes you and Alex look better and better. Keep it up!

jacq
jacq

I have to say I'm impressed with you and Alex. You are the only castmembers who watched yourselves on the first season, realized the flaws in your personalities, etc., and have actually grown and made changes that have shown true personal growth from season to season of your show.

The other housewives get worse and worse each year, growing less and less self-aware.

After Season One I never would have thought I'd proclaim this, but - TEAM ALEX ALL THE WAY!

China
China

Jill is making Alex take sides and that's so childish.

renemarie
renemarie

Simon, I just love you and I adore Alex!! I must say that at the beginning I wasn't quite as big a fan. Your loyalty and charm have won me over. You two are actually people that others would like to be friends with!! Love your clever blog.

Viewer24
Viewer24

Simon I am pleasantly surprised at your blogs - they are insightful, enjoyable and down-right funny! Keep it up! I hope Bravo let's you comment on all of the RH franchises. Also, I love how you and Alex address issues and move on.

rstar
rstar

You and Alex are quite educated people, very sophisticated, and a cut above the rest of the childish bunch at RHoNY.

carriej
carriej

I have to admit...I thought you were a little wierd the first season. Now, you are nothing but hilarious and MAKE the NYC housewives show!

shelly m
shelly m

Amazing how Simon reads these women perfectly.....keep it up Simon. Maybe, just maybe they might read and learn something about themselves!!!

Sue B
Sue B

Alex is a lucky girl! You're clever and have the ability to see a situation on different levels; it's a Jedi trait; "May the force be with you" LOL.

julie bernucciViewer
julie bernucciViewer

Simon you make a great greek chorus. i love your commentary. You and Alex have really grown on us. I think you are wonderful.

AliceB
AliceB

Simon, your blog posts are the absolute best! I love your wit and observations. The whole post was very funny but this line actually made me nearly fall out of my chair laughing: "Kelly advises them that she has been chosen to be the Playboy 40th Anniversary Cover model and have a 10-page story about her. Now, do me a favor and take that link. The link itself is safe for work but the scream you utter when you see it might not be." Please continue to blog every week!!

Viv
Viv

I enjoy reading your blog now and then. Don't you think B should have been in that show?

She's no lady coming from some background that shouldn't be on TV for any viewers, no class, no dignity, no integrity.

Bravo did not see it or stupid enough to put her there with the rest. B is a shameful one of humankind. Anyway, she's a divorcee but far from a lady to be on there !!!! Don't you agree?

Mona too. You can see where she's coming from, a broken-home/family. Not a good example to put out there for viewers. Best, Viv

Clara Ann
Clara Ann

You're my favorite on the show. Love your humor! Keep writing.

Best wishes this season!

PCL
PCL

You are right on with all of your comments about Labor Day. Everything you said I was thinking when it happened. I cannot believe how alliances have changed. You and your wife remain very classy.

Lori Harris
Lori Harris

Simon, I have to say that you crack me up. I love the fact that you tell it like it is. I find it quite amusing that the people that utterly disliked you and Alex for the last two seasons were begging you to stay at their cookout. It's funny how things change over the course of a year (t.v. year), isn't it?!? Can't wait for next week's blog!