Simon van Kempen

Simon recaps Bethenny's pregnancy news leak, Jill's need for "GAWWSSSSIPPPPP," and Alex's message.

on May 3, 20100

 

So we’re at Episode 9 and a weekend when Alex, the chums and I are taking a well earned rest from book signings for Little Kids Big City . That has meant that I haven’t had any time sitting on a plane where I could at least start this blog as I’ve done the last two weeks. So I apologize for it being a couple of days late. We do have further signings later this week in Connecticut and Massachusetts so please check out http://www.McCordvanKempen.com for a full list of times and places when we might be in your city. Also we are getting very close to Mother’s Day and whether you might one day have kids, still have or yours are long grown up, our book makes a marvelous present for Mother’s Day as it’s filled with anecdotes of the last seven years of Alex’s and my life both before and having had children.

Shameless plug over. Now into this week’s episode.

And we open with Perezgnancygate; another instance where information has popped up in either the gossip pages or gossip websites about one of the cast. This is just an awful scene and while I would have expected Julie to have appeared more shocked that she didn’t know, I have to say that first Bethenny’s and then later Jason’s reactions seemed absolutely honest.

I love Burberry and have a couple of their jackets that have gotten me a lot of flack, but the coat LuAnn was wearing when she arrived at Sonja’s was just a bit too brazen, even for me. Having lining in their signature fabric is one thing, but her coat just seemed like a giant billboard. Anyway, she arrives at Sonja’s to be welcomed by her staffless hostess who had had to get her coffee today "from outside." Evidently Folgers and a boiled kettle doesn’t cut it on the UES. And just what is it about dog doo doo this season? I am getting afraid it might be some subliminal metaphor foisted on us by the producers. At least Sonja didn’t accuse the Countess of wearing plastic boots; although in this instance Wellingtons might have made more sense. And I will leave it for you to decide why walking in shit made LuAnn break into French; surely, t’was not a metaphor for her ex?

Jill’s call briefly takes their minds off excrement although the way Jill dissed the evite that LuAnn had already sent her was pretty shitty. In Jill’s words “whatever." (I must give Sonja a big shout out for announcing herself on speakerphone - Jill and LuAnn please take note of her phone etiquette.) Next, what Jill says is quite interesting. First she says she’s just received a text (message) but then she says she received a Google Alert. Now despite what others have suggested she probably didn’t have one on Bethenny’s name but merely a pretty generic one on Real Housewives of NYC which usually flags any news articles about any of the cast. However initially I just couldn’t follow why she mentioned that she’d gotten a text until I hunted round and found you can have Google Alerts sent as an SMS message. Well who’da thunk that Jill is as tech-savvy as that! But I do have to laugh at LuAnn and Sonja’s reaction. After Jill says it’s all over the internet, Sonja advises us that she never has time to look on the internet whereas LuAnn complains that no one had sent her the Google Alert. LuAnn you have to subscribe and Mr. Google or rather Messrs Brinn and Page will send it to you. Remember we discussed this earlier last year when rumors where first surfacing that you were getting a divorce and I called you up after I got the Google Alert that it was being mentioned on a certain parenting blog? Funnily enough, although Jill had just been sent this text and she’s since been on the phone with LuAnn and Sonja apparently she’s already had people asking her about Bethenny’s pregnancy. And at last we get to the crux of the call. Jill called seeking GOSSIP; she needs GAWWSSSSIPPPPP. Really, just who does that and why? Anyway as the conversation gets back on to LuAnn’s charity event, Jill works hard to ensure that Bethenny’s not invited. So clearly Jill just wants the gossip and does not care to actually see whom she’s gossiping about.

 

317 comments
sheilaiewer
sheilaiewer

Simon you are delightfull and person of class and taste. You either have it or you dont. That being said, I had allways admired Alex for the way she handled herself and did not sink to the level of B or R in any situation. This season however as much as it may look she is standing up for herself, she was doing just beautifully before without comming of looking tart and cheap like the rest. Hope she will take a step back and realize how much people admired her as she was. I was also very glad to see how Ramona has reacted to both of you the season as her past behaviour was appalling. Still think Jill and Bobby were much much better freinds to both of you.

maryolus
maryolus

You two are the best! You are the ones with a class, not the nurse that married well! You are so refreshing and real. Don't change!

julie-ann
julie-ann

simon, you and your beautiful wife have far too much class to be sharing the same space as these wealthy wacko's. money can buy lot's of wonderful things but NOT class.

little countess
little countess

Sorry Simon,

I have to disagree. I loved The Countess'es Burberry Coat. I wish I could afford it.

Love your sense of style and humour.

I don't like Bethanny using Alex for her vendetta against Jill.

Hope we see more of you next season.

Susie
Susie

I normally do not come to this site, but really liked Ramona's hair cut and wanted to print a pic to bring to my stylist for the same cut. Shockingly enough never would I have thought of blogging on Simon's site, however Simon seems the only rationale person on the show this season (well LuAnn also at the final episodes)! I have decided enough is enough for me and will not be watching anymore of Housewives! Life is way too short for so much anger along with all the yelling and lieing, etc, and that is not who I am! Felt it necessary to first thank Simon for allowing us to get to know who you are, and not who we were told you were, by the other housewives last season. I will be honest and respected Alex last season, how she mingled within that group in a very dignified manner - well I guess I could say as a true friend! But Alex has changed and now is "One of them"! She even looks devilish and mean by her facial expressions and her cold glaring eyes! Simon you need an intervention and get your wife back now before it's too late and she is sucked all the way in! I guess LuAnn has taken that role on now, since she has changed so much towards the final episodes by remaining true to herself and by all means taking a few steps back from the group. She always has a great smile and is very happy now where she is in her life. She is very classy and handles herself well! Unfortunately, she lost her mind for a slight moment, when the housewives sucked her right in there evil, vicious and mean circle! I can't understand why anyone would want that stress of arguing, yelling and name-calling right in your face, while others at these events see and/or hear it also? Hopefully, all the attacking Jill is getting will cease, since no one and I say no one of these women are innocent! Actually, I saw and heard much worse from others! Sorry, but when Ramona attacked Bethany over some media issues, and then to proceed to tell her that no one likes her, except Jason, which she was making it clear that he would also see right through her and not be around long - that was hateful and unforgiveable to me! I would rather Jill say I got a hobby now, and it's not you! This is not a score sheet of who should be forgiven or not, but if everyone would think back or sit and watch all episodes - clearly no one really is a true friend at all, but for tv purposes only, the smiles come on the face! There is no one who can say that mistakes were made and once only - I can name many - but to forgive all and continue the attacking on Jill makes no sense to me. How hypocritical is that? She definitely has made her mistakes also, and at the reunion owned up to alot of wrong doings, and several times repeatedly explained that she was not happy in her behavior, which I truly felt that she was sincere and did apologize from her heart! How many other housewives stepped up and admitted the same, and were truly sorry? I only saw finger pointing and constant attacking over one person and that was Jill. Alex if you feel that Jill's intentions were for her own purposes, then fine that's your opinion! Jill said move on - we are not friends! But you Alex are a mean girl too - watch the show - the new Alex and the renewed Ramona! Wow, all the money in the world could not buy me to even associate with most of you - since my happiness is priceless! Jill if Ramona was a true friend to you (15 yrs) there is not an explanation in my heart that could forgive her actions when you were asked to leave and her new found friendship for Alex and Betheny were more important (well for now) I would say to you what a blessing to rid all this negative energy surrounding you and to be free from her evil betrayal acquaintenance, since surely that was not a friendship.

BEACHGAL HOTTIE
BEACHGAL HOTTIE

SIMON YOU ARE A BLAST! I ENJOY YOU AND ALEX VERY MUCH AND YOUR CHILDREN ARE BEAUTIFUL. THE LOVE YOUR FAMILY SHARES IS REFRESHING. I FELT THE FIRST SEASON THE CRITICISM WAS UNJUSTIFIED AND SPRUNG FROM JEALOUSY. ALSO SOME OF THEM MIGHT HAVE FELT BROOKLYN WAS INFERIOR TO NEW YORK, WHATEVER!!!! ALEX IS TRULY A GENUINE PERSON AND A LOVING WIFE AND MOTHER. YOU ARE BOTH FORTUNATE TO HAVE EACH OTHER. I WILL BE PURCHASING YOUR BOOK. I LEFT A QUICK BUT THOUGHTFUL BLOG FOR ALEX YESTERDAY! HAVE A GREAT SUMMER.............. :)

IndplsViewer
IndplsViewer

You're blog has always been my favorite. Please, please, please blog. I miss your unique perspective. Nobody does it better.

DittoBravo
DittoBravo

Simon, I have come to enjoy you and Alex this season I have watched most episodes and think you and Alex have been infairly judged. As Jill, Kelly and LuAnn's true colors are revealed it is obvious that they have no right judging anyone! At least with you, your wife and Bethany what you see is what you get. I would rather "know" when someone has issue with me. Good luck with your book and next season. BTW Thanks for revealing your side about the events etc. Too bad Jill can't get a life so she has to attack everyone else's.

bette, boston
bette, boston

Simon,As you know Alex was not mean when she delivered that mmssg. to Jill.She started the mssg. with few people around,then the group got larger and she had no recourse but to go forward.So for all you not so well meaning morons out there,try and get the pictureYes her delivery wasn't smooth,but people were yakking and she couldn't get it in.Kudos to ALEX and thumbs down to Jill,Luann and Ramona.Alex this season was refreshing and downright spirited,and thank you both for that.Next time Simon watch your wifes back and don't cozy up to the mean spirited jill.Stay in touch with BETHENNY,JASON AND BRYN.

Brownie2Squeaks
Brownie2Squeaks

Simon I didn't miss you this year at all. You act as if you are some one of class and upstanding. I have yet to hear exactly what you do. The only reference made about you is you own a hotel. that certainly doesn't make you better than everyone else. You and your Family really need to packup and move far away.

Ohio Viewer
Ohio Viewer

Hi Simon!

Although I was not sure about you when you first appeared on the show and actually thought I would not like you, I really do think you're a cool and interesting guy! Your wife on the other hand, not so much. I thought you were a good sport in the tennis game and you are always polite and try to make the best of most situations, not to mention a great father. I look forward to seeing you in future episodes and think your wife should take a page from your book. Good luck in all endeavors!

FancyFlutter
FancyFlutter

Simon, your wife said you had gained weight from quitting smoking, but honestly, I was thinking that you actually look healthier in your weight this year. I knew there was a good change, but didn't pick up on any gained weight. One thing I wish to say, if it means you gain 15 lbs., work out, get healthy, but never go back to smoking. My sister passed away of lung cancer in Feb., and she was a longtime smoker. She was just one of the people in this world that was affected by tobacco, and it is such a loss. Hopefully you will be more visible next season, we missed you.

BACK UP
BACK UP

simon please please always have alex back.mostly when it comes to jill.....that jill is very cruel to Alex.stay by your womens side.

you two are the only ones that are not all about money

love you both

JILL MEAN GIRL
JILL MEAN GIRL

SIMON AND ALEX JUST LOVE THE BOTH OF YOU!!!!YOU TELL ALEX TO KEEP HER HEAD UP.JILL IS CLEARLY NEVER WAS A GOOD FRIEND TO BOTH OF YOU.I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND WHERE ALEX COMES FROM WHEN SHE FIRST CON-FRONTED JILL.I USED TO BE THAT WAY UNTILL I BLEW UP ON A FRIEND I THOUGH WAS A FRIEND.I NOW SPEAK UP.ALEX YOU DO THE SAME DON'T HOLD ANYTHING BACK.JUST MAKE SURE YOU DON'T SOUND LIKE KELLY...LOL

shalietoohot
shalietoohot

Simon you are very funny. Keep up been real and not fake as Jill.

Dee Pittsburgh
Dee Pittsburgh

Simon, you are the biggest gossip on the show! Seems like you are trying to get a spin-off show for you and Alex. Your show would surely be better than Bethenny's. All she has to offer is her fowl mouth and the fact that she trapped some guy into marrying her. A tad boring. You and ALex are much funnier and entertaining. Get it right Bravo.

wake forest, nc
wake forest, nc

Simon I wish you would blog on the last few episodes, you haven't in over a month! It's a great read!

Margaret.Col
Margaret.Col

Alex, I adore you! You are so funny, sardonic and insightful!!! You are your wife are fantastic foils to those ninny women on RHONY and your well articulated, clever descriptions and observations are endlessly entertaining. I wish you and your family great happiness and success. And power to the Cobble Hill'ers - the best neighborhood in Brooklyn.

Susanoh
Susanoh

Just love you, Simon. Period. End of Story. And Alex and the boys, as well.

SeaBrook
SeaBrook

Only one criticism, think about being more supportive of your wife. It is obvious that you love her, but there were times when you seemed to be on Team Jill, or at least want to be. I'm not saying picking sides is mature, but Jill was very mean to Alex in many ways, and that is the woman you love. I'm glad you are into fashion, you seem really cool, but how about trying chivalry as well, it doesn't have to be a lost art.

The Realist
The Realist

YOu got style man im not to sure about the skin tight red pants from last season but i like some of your army coasts

ViewerCarolena
ViewerCarolena

Simon, you showed a lot of class on two of the shows when you went up to hug Jill and Alex stood in the back with her mouth hanging open. What Alex said to Jill was not so bad; the way that she announced it in the middle of a party in front of everyone was so tacky; so tasteless; so mean girls from high school. And she was proud of herself? I have a business partner from Australia and the Aussie bloke's I've met would not put up with that drama for anything. Jill went out on a limb, barely knowing you two, to get you an audience with the head of a school you wanted your boys to go to. She has tried to befriend Alex. What Alex did was wrong. Period!

Kate from NY
Kate from NY

Simon- I actually really like you although I don't appreciate your hating on Long Island. "GAWWSSSSIPPPPP" seems like a hit to Jill and her LI accent. I grew up on Long Island and it's a really wonderful place - don't hate!

LfromBAMA
LfromBAMA

DUDE?????? Where,s your blog? By the By loved your dress at the renewal ceremony yours was way better than Kelly's

tcj
tcj

simon,

i think its great that you back your wife but keep in mind jill is not the only housewive with issues... they ALL have them including ALEX. none of them are completely right in their handling of eachother and they all have carried gossip against other cast mates.

i just hate to beleive this is how the wealthy live and how they treat eachother... this goes for ALL of you.

Mona
Mona

You and Alex are annoying as hell..

jjune
jjune

Simon, Please take note, the name of the show is "HOUSEWIVES.."!We got bored watching Mario's shtick on the show and his Blogging and you too have reached your saturation point on the show...maybe a new job to keep yourself busy...or watch replays with Alex and explain to her that she has become the true MEAN GIRL with her new found voice!

Spooky
Spooky

Wow you have allot of posts! I have to say I appreciate the way you back Alex! In prior years I was not a fan of you and Alex, bit this year something changed with you two or the others just finally showed their true colors (which I think is the case and you two were real from the beginning). Hold your head high and keep up your beliefs. Your clothes are about out there..but you can pull it off. That in itself is a gift

Angela M
Angela M

Are you a housewife now? We all know Bethany and her one liners. I don't think she was being mean when she called Alex a wind up doll. I think you are trying to cause even more drama. Why are you even blogging? You're not a housewife.

Viewer12154
Viewer12154

Simon I miss your blogs !!! please blog...

Santa Fe Stephanie
Santa Fe Stephanie

Hey Simon, so witty and perceptive, I was seriously LOL. Thank you for your blog. I appreciate Alex coming forward and for not getting down on herself for things not coming out perfect. She is very classy to accept herself, by staying with her truth, and getting the hurt and anger of Jill off her chest. Too bad it was unnoticed and uncared about by the receiver, but that's not our problem. Hugs to you two and the boys.

tinkerbell
tinkerbell

hi Simon Ilove you. please blog because I've always looked forward in getting your opinion on things! pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeze blog! I REALLY wanted to get your opinion on the mean girls including Alex. WHAT HAPPENED TO HER!!! love you Simon

MY WING MAN
MY WING MAN

LOVE YOU SIMON KEEP KEEPING IT REAL AND ALEX IS A DARLING

Viewer, Ca
Viewer, Ca

Simon, what happened to your wife? Alex used to be so cool. I hope she's only acting like that for the show because directors want her to spice up her character, because she is annoying as hell this season.

I mean I am glad that she's finally standing up to people and giving them a piece of her mind, but her timing is always so off. Haha.

But anyway, please help her.

You're awesome! Never change! You the man!

LadyMaria
LadyMaria

Happy Anniversary Simon! Can't wait to get you back with us!

SayCheese
SayCheese

Simonizer,

I read somewhere that you pitched a hissy fit for more money. Now that tells me you think you are one of the girls and want to be treated as such. IF you held firm, but your bluff didn't work, you can always take Alex and pop over to Bethenny's new show. You two can be the modern day Fred and Ethel Mertz. Oooops - they had talent and delivered their lines flawlessly. Maybe, you could just be a cameo in her new show (as you've been this season on RHONYC). OR, you could blog your nasty bits on Perez Hilton's website. I know you'd find it difficult to leave the limelight.

diane b
diane b

Simon Love you and Alex, You are both real.... You are always true to yourselves and always kind to others.

Apple
Apple

Simon! You're hilarious and I can't wait until you blog again!

Nebat
Nebat

Simon - you're one cool dude to keep up with all these crazy women - except your wife and Bethany of course! You have a great and honest perspective. I don't blame Jason for being upset - anyone would be! Keep on doing things your way and ignore the rest!

Katie Beeper
Katie Beeper

Whew!! Did we all get that?? lol You go Simon, your the man!! I love you and Alex and the boys. I can't wait to get your book and read.

Angelique
Angelique

Hi Simon, You are sort of laying low. Super busy at work? You look like you don't feel good on the latest shows. Feel better soon and come back swinging.

Carolt
Carolt

Simon come back to blogging! Pleasssssssse you and Mario are the only ones that make sense.

jp
jp

How do you stand all the insanity? Don't you just wanna give a group slap? You rock!!

LadyMaria
LadyMaria

Simon! How could you?? I have been checking every day for your blog about Kelly's breakdown episode and NOTHING! We need you! Come back Simon, Come back!!

+Penny
+Penny

I just love the way Alex and Simon recaps the show.

SD
SD

Simon...where are you??????????? Get to blogging! ;-)

Jeanne19
Jeanne19

Simon,

I am surprised at you-you were one of my favorites from the past seasons, now all you do is act like the "mean girl" you say you love to hate and your wife has become!