View All PostsTamra Barney
Adult Meltdowns
Tamra talks surprises, book deals, bling and adult meltdowns.
April 14, 2009Happy Easter everyone! We celebrated at my Mom's house this year - so happy I didn't have to cook. As I was about to take my first bite of ham my Mom yells out, "If I die don't bury me, I want to be cremated." OK, do we really have to talk about that right now? Then we all started arguing about what to do with her ashes. Then my brother says, "I want to be mummified." His wife yells, "I don't want your dead ass hanging around the house haunting me." He yells at her, "NO dumb shit, you can bury me after I'm mummified. I want to look good when I'm dug up one day." So then I started thinking, 'Shit, I don't want to be put in a box and buried six feet under either.' It would be my shit luck I would wake up, I am claustrophobic as hell. I was reminded that it would be next to impossible since your embalmed before your buried. Yes, holidays bring out the craziness in my family! Then I turned on Bravo and watched the preview for New Jersey Housewives and I felt totally normal. It just goes to show you cannot take life seriously, nobody gets out alive, anyway.
This week show was all about surprises, book deals, bling and adult meltdowns.
They start out this week at Zarin Fabrics for a cocktail party. Mario starts up about the tennis game, AGAIN. Please Mario, just let it go! I kept my mouth shut last week about your attitude thinking you were just pissed off about waiting an hour and a half for Simon. So here I go...MARIO GET OVER YOUR BIG SELF, WE LIKED IT BETTER WHEN RAMONA WAS THE CRAZY ONE, THERE IS NO ROOM FOR TWO CRAZIES IN ONE FAMILY! I was happy to see Jill take the high road and let Mario think he was right and end it all. Unfortunately Mario goes after Simon, telling him he looked like he was dressed for 7th grade gym class. Mario you WON, can't you just be happy with that? Do you have to personally attack Simon to make yourself feel better? I actually felt sorry for Simon at that moment. Then I kept watching and changed my mind.
Love your blog. Why can't we see this person on the show? I usually see mean Tamra.
I love Bethenny so much Tamra, but when you said tu-lips in your blog I nearly fell off my chair laffing. Your crazy!! lol
OMG!!!! Holy crap!!!! I am not shittin ya ... my mom just told me the same thing...She wants to be cremated..your family ain't any crazier than mine!!!!! I think it 's fun
Tamra, you are soooo hilarious! Kelly's fake voice is so annoying...don't think I can take it if she says Max is "amazing" or "fun" one more time. The dumb stare she gives wrinkling her forehead with her mouth open says it all! You have me laughing out loud...you covered everything I was thinking. I always love your blogs and I can't wait to read your thoughts on the NJ Housewives...you're fabulous!
You are so spot on with your blog. omg omg. So hilarious! I absolutely love them. Picturing Kelly running down the middle of the street (hair down with those legs and running all slow - and the point would be?). Your "what the hell was that?!" comment summed it up. Thank you!
Tamara you are too funny! Housewife say whaaat?! I can't believe Kelly is supposed to be a New Yorker and claims never to have been in Brooklyn! Excuse me where Simon and Alex live is not the end of the earth, and there is life outside of Manhattan. I would take a triple level Brownstone in Cobble Hill, (probably valued at well over a million dollars) over a two by four hot box in Manhattan anyday. Please Kelly lives in Soho, literally a 5 minute cab ride over the bridge. Ramona, Bethenny and Jill all tawk loike they awre straight outta the outerboroughs, so fuggeddaboutit. Ladies Get Real.
Brooklyn/Queens girl signing out.
OK CALM DOWN Bethenny wanna be! can you get any more fake? first you suck up and try to act like vicky now Bethenny??? please......she will always be a zillion times more classy than you can ever be. so PLEASE stop already, your not funny Gretchen...oops I meant Tamra.
LMAO at "pop goes the weasel"!!!! I kept rewinding that part and watching it over and over that sh*t was hilarious!! I keep picturing Alex's face!!
Tamra, You can write...think about it. You should do a book deal!
You are so funny and real!
Have a great week!
Kim S. of NY
PS I like OC better than the NY wives
You are NOT the one writing the blog, someone is writing it for you! The blog sounds nothing like you. Fake, fake, fake.
Tamra, keep blogging! Can't wait to read your blogs on the Real Housewives of New Jersey. I can see cat fight city coming with those women.
Your sense of humor is genuine and you can spot a phony...Kelly lookin' to be road kill?
You and Bethenney keep the blog section a must read.
Tamra,
I am so Glad that we finally heard from Gretchen. I lover her because she is
funny, happy and most of all she is not bitter or cynical.
Enjoy your life.
"calm your shit down or we will never be invited to fashion week." HAHAHAHAHAHA i loveeee it.
I was wondering if it was legal to run in the middle of the streets in NYC too!!! That looked strange to me, but then again I live in Austin, Texas where there's plenty of beautiful parks to run in and running in the congested streets will get you a ticket.
Hilarious! Your description of Brad cracked me right up-so true! You are my favorite of the OC wives and reading your take on the NYC wives is great fun.
I really hated you on your show because I thought you were hateful and two-faced. However, I realized that the producers can make things look differently.
Your blogs rock!
You are someone I could hang with.
Tam-RA...I effin love you girl!!! Good stuff & can't wait til the new season of the OC!
I REALLY dis-liked you on the Real Housewives of Orange County(and still hold some grudges) but what you have to say via blogs? TOO FUNNY!
Hey Tamra - You are so freakin hilarious! Of all the books being written out there by a housewife, I wish you were one of them! You would write a HYSTERICAL book and I would read every single page of it! I don't like to read but I LOVE to read your blogs! You hit the nail on the head EVERY SINGLE time!!! So dang funny and I love love love you!!!!
I F*@KEN' LOVE YOU...ur blogs are always funny as hell...keep them comming
Hey Tamra
That was freakin' hilarious! I laughed out loud a few times. Keep it up, I"ll be back to read more.
still LOL!!!
Jo
Honestly, you are the only reason I read these blogs! This is the best by far... Keep it coming!
(crossing my fingers that my post will actually show up!)
Okay, never in my wildest dreams did I imagine liking anything about you, but I have to say "housewife says whaaat?!" was actually funny. As for your dinner table topics & potty mouth, please spare the readers. It has nothing to do w/ the show and, frankly, it makes you sound like a moron.
I also want to add that, as funny as you can be at times, it's still really hard to like you. The ugliness that the viewers saw from you last season was pretty bad and I think the backlash you received was well deserved. I hope you've made some changes and, if you come back next season, we'll all see a different Tamra. I'm crossing my fingers again.....
Love your blogs. Please keep them coming. You are an excellent judge of character... you saw Gretchen for what she was from the beginning.
Maybe you or Jill could use that car to run over Kelly?... not really but at least it would get her off the show... she has no entertainment value.
Tamra i just have to say your awesome! i like your views of the NYC cast..Seriously kelly looked like a friggn' crazy person with that smiled plastered ear to ear as everyone starred at her as she ran thru nyc streets. do they not have treadmills or bike paths in NYC? Keep on rocking tamra looking forward to the OC's season.
For the most part, watching these women makes me cringe!
I was raised in one of the MOST affluent areas of the NY area and NEVER saw such pretentious people! Jill is the ONLY one worth paying attention to, She seems genuine and honest. The rest of these women are disgusting social climbers whose sense of entitlement and TOTAL lack of social grace is embarrassing to watch. Such 'wannabes' and 'poseurs'. The late Mrs. Kennedy Onassis once advised that true manners and social grace were the result of conducting oneself so as to NEVER make another person uncomfortable. This sad and sorry crew of chippies would be well advised to take such counsel to heart!!!!
For the most part, watching these women makes me cringe!
I was raised in one of the MOST affluent areas of the NY area and NEVER saw such pretentious people! Jill is the ONLY one worth paying attention to, She seems genuine and honest. The rest of these women are disgusting social climbers whose sense of entitlement and TOTAL lack of social grace is embarrassing to watch. Such 'wannabes' and 'poseurs'. The late Mrs. Kennedy Onassis once advised that true manners and social grace were the result of conducting oneself so as to NEVER make another person uncomfortable. This sad and sorry crew of chippies would be well advised to take such counsel to heart!!!!
Seriously I'm thinking of not tuning in anymore to the 'Real Commercial of NYC" - If I want to watch people hawk their wares while pretending it's just part of their normal conversation I'll tune into an infomercial.
Yes, yes know all of you make jewelry, write books and cook - fantastic. Congratulations but that's not why I would watch the show. You're all rich enough ladies, get back to the charities and fun stuff.
I must say that Jill's new ride is SWEET! I've been looking to trade-in my 2007 Expedition, which was the most expensive and nicest Expedition made in 2007 for a MB ML or GL like Jill's, except for the I want the GL 320 CDI, which is the diesel version that is very fuel efficient, getting an avg 25-30 mpg.
They have so many option, features, and more. When I first went to test drive it, I turned on the cruise control instead of the turn signal... let's just say, I turned one block later. lol Every car takes time getting use to the features, unless your upgrading from an 08 to an 09 of the very same car.
This episode was everywhere. I must say that these ladies have done great things through their publicity on Bravo. The OC has also done well, however I would say that NY has done even better. Two have books, and one's working on another(if the Silexes ever makes the shelves), while Vicky is the only OC with a book.
LOVE your blog!! TRU/True posting at it's best! Please blog every week
OK you have redeemed yourself. I was a bit upset at your last season, even though I didn't believe Gretchen to be as sweet as she was portrayed and I did believe her to be a disingenuous golddigger as well. But, I do think you are down to earth and hope you have had your AH HA moment. Your blogs are spot on and I'm glad the Real Housewifes has you and Bethanny around. Without the two of you both shows wouldn't be worth watching. Keep the blogs going, they are entertaining and honest!
Tamara...I love your comments on the NYC housewives...I love them all...saw some photos of you and Ramona and you both look so sweet together...glad you had a nice Easter...its good you and your family had the after death talk...so many families forget/neglect to do that or wait until they read the will/trust...hope your doing well girlfriend!!
I always read your blog first. I can't wait to see what you are going to say. "Housewife What". Also, Kelly running in the middle of the street was totally staged. That chick is crazy!!!!
I love Tamra's blog but why so much cursing?
Tamra, you crack me up. Love the blog and also love you on the show. You tell it like it is, always. I apprecaite that!
I love,love,love, your blog. You say EVERYTHING I am thinking and make it even more funny! Thank you for calling a spade a spade! You are the best last season and now!
This is the funniest thing I have read on here!
You are great! Keep the blogs coming!
you rock. you and bethenny's blogs are the best.
Tamra, your blogs are hysterical! I can totally appreciate your sense of humor, and I just love reading what you have to say. Keep it up girlfrannn
Tamra,
Freakin Hysterical blog...laughing sooo hard...you hit the nail on the head...Kelly is crazy...Simon is sooo over the top...really,He should be the real housewife...Alex is kind of a bore...but seems nice enough..Jill is spoiled...but i love her...Bethenny is too funny..but the vase comment was a little hummm...Ramona thinks she knows it all..and is pretty rude about it...Luanne is going through some real life drama...so i will not comment on her...
You all need to bring it next season...love the OC...
Sooo! funny you say the things I think, who complains when they get a new car. Kelly's Hiii is awful she sounds so stupid, guy she is with, is that the one she beat up and got arrested for ? The countess is so full of herself, like when she is dicussing her name with publishers. Get a real life
Hey tamra...love your blog i live in nyc and people only jog in the street if they want to get hit by a car. I swear shes making that up or just did it for the camara. Or maybe shes sooo fabulous that she can jog in the street (kidding).
Tamera,
You are so right about everything! Bethenny is the best, but she does have her moments. Jill, something else,but funny, Ramona, what a flake, Alex, I feel sorry for, LuAnn, I think out of touch, wrapped up in her own world and Kelly, what a LOW LIFE. Now I don't know about the New Jersey bunch but, NYC can't wait for that to be over, Atlanta PPPLLLEEAAASSSEE don't ever bring them back. It should have just stayed OC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I say lets send Ramona and Mario over to the Housewives of New Jersey. They can be shark bait as that is about how long they would last. Maybe it would open their eyes that the NY Housewives aren't that bad after all and maybe they would learn they are not ALL THAT.
Tamra, this was a good one this week. However, I was hoping you would talk about the A-List awards. What are your thoughts on Slade and Gretchen?
Your blogs are freakin' hysterical. I get on here every week just to read what you have to say. You say half the things I am thinking when I am watching.
TU-LIPS was written like that for a reason...Shelly
Some people are so jealous that they will do anything to knock you down.
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