Happy Easter everyone! We celebrated at my Mom's house this year - so happy I didn't have to cook. As I was about to take my first bite of ham my Mom yells out, "If I die don't bury me, I want to be cremated." OK, do we really have to talk about that right now? Then we all started arguing about what to do with her ashes. Then my brother says, "I want to be mummified." His wife yells, "I don't want your dead ass hanging around the house haunting me." He yells at her, "NO dumb shit, you can bury me after I'm mummified. I want to look good when I'm dug up one day." So then I started thinking, 'Shit, I don't want to be put in a box and buried six feet under either.' It would be my shit luck I would wake up, I am claustrophobic as hell. I was reminded that it would be next to impossible since your embalmed before your buried. Yes, holidays bring out the craziness in my family! Then I turned on Bravo and watched the preview for New Jersey Housewives and I felt totally normal. It just goes to show you cannot take life seriously, nobody gets out alive, anyway.
This week show was all about surprises, book deals, bling and adult meltdowns.
They start out this week at Zarin Fabrics for a cocktail party. Mario starts up about the tennis game, AGAIN. Please Mario, just let it go! I kept my mouth shut last week about your attitude thinking you were just pissed off about waiting an hour and a half for Simon. So here I go...MARIO GET OVER YOUR BIG SELF, WE LIKED IT BETTER WHEN RAMONA WAS THE CRAZY ONE, THERE IS NO ROOM FOR TWO CRAZIES IN ONE FAMILY! I was happy to see Jill take the high road and let Mario think he was right and end it all. Unfortunately Mario goes after Simon, telling him he looked like he was dressed for 7th grade gym class. Mario you WON, can't you just be happy with that? Do you have to personally attack Simon to make yourself feel better? I actually felt sorry for Simon at that moment. Then I kept watching and changed my mind.
Tamra you are hilarious! That shot of Kelly running in the street with traffic was priceless. I think the producers/editors are successfully trying to make her look bad. I totally agree that Jill is way too spoiled. I was so disgusted with her ungrateful attitude and excessive spending. Grow up! As for the rest, Bethanny still rocks! Luanne- poor thing; Ramona's still crazy and Alex and Simon- I'm still LMAO!
Tamra, I am still laughing. LOVE your blog. I was thinking almost everything your wrote. Keep up the wit.
Hey Tamra, Have you notice this show is turning into one big commercial. Every housewife has a store, jewelry line, book or skincare they are selling. Jill did sound like an immature, spoiled brat. The car, the handbag, it was nauseating and a waste of money. This was the worst episode.
I so agree with the whole Kelly running in the middle of the street thing! Who the hell does that? That cab driver was probably like "Get the F@C* out of the way so ridic
Between "tu-lip" and "housewife says whaaaaat?" I was laughing out loud. I admit I was getting sick of you pouting about Gretchen last season but your blogs have brought me back to Team Tamra. You're awesome... just don't let other people bring you down again!!
Okay, this is super funny... you're totally wackadoodle & I love it.
For the record, I don't know what people said about the $420 dress, but Lord knows probably spend that much on eyelash extensions every month... we don't expect you to go to Ross & pick up a juniors dress off the clearance rack. Buy/borrow what you want with no apologies - just promise that I don't have to pay for it later via the Obama Stimulus Package, k?
Oh hon... another bad week of medical visits, and the week has just begun.. your blog though always makes me laugh and is a nice get away (forget Calgon). Couldnt wait after today's disaster to get home watch Housewives and read YOUR blog! I just knew you would have some dead on humdingers about the vase and Simon's tirade.... When someone is facing real problems that are life threatening... humour really is the best medicine.. thanks Tamra, YOUR blog filled with wit is my best medicine! Love ya girl.. Housewife say whaaat? lol ~ Mary K.
Tamra, That Alpha Female moniker for Bethanny hit the nail right on the head! How anyone could even term Bethanny an "underdog" is beyond me! And no, nobody runs in the middle of the street in New York City, unless the marathon is taking place. Anything for Kelly to get attention. Yes, Jill acted like a spoiled brat. $16,000 on ugly pocketbooks? She should be totally ashamed by that show last night -- with so many unemployed families, to even show that type of frivolous spending was disgraceful - at least in my opinion.
Tamra, If you have any pull with the producers of RHNYC, can you suggest to them to pay for outings to spas, shopping trips and the track, like they do for the OC wives. These women are very busy with their own ventures. I guess it's hard for them to all be in the same room together.
Can't........stop.......Laughing....Tamra YOU are the best!!! I'd be happy with a Bethanny and Tamra show!!
OK, I feel like I'm being punk'd. This show was one big commercial. Just weird... And, I agree. In NYC, someone running down the middle of the street might as well have a target on their back. Where were the crazy cabbies honking their horns??
Tamra, I cannot wait to see you in Season 5 of Housewives of OC. Your blogs are outrageous and very true. I feel the same way about almost everything you say about the NYC Show. OC and NYC are both great. I think the show has become like a promo for the housewives of NYC to get their products out there. This episode was not that great because they kept trying to sell themselves. SIMON was ridiculous in the car. I think Alex should have said, "Calm down because you are ruining my Birthday with your screaming and cursing" I felt you were harsh towards Gretchen during this season, but then in the reunion episode I LOVED your honesty about those strange phone calls to Gretchen from her ex-boyfriend. I LOVE your blogs and think you are definitely one of my favorites of all the housewives' shows!!
Tamra: You have me rolling in laughter! I have loved you on the OC-the best, in my opinion of the Housewives shows, but you should now take up writing! You crack me up and are usually spot on with your comments, these girls are setting themselves up for commentary and I can almost see your facial expressions as I am reading! Can't wait to see the OC girls again!
Tamra - Love your insights on this show. Mainly because you and the other OC ladies (Vicki & Jeana mainly) seem the most normal, so it's good to get a "normal" person's view from the inside of this little franchise! Your NYC blog keeps getting better each week!!
Funny! I just posted that people in NYC do NOT run in middle of Fifth Avenue with a cab right behind you! I thought that scene was hysterical! Yes, we do sometimes job on the side of the road by the sidewalk but not right in the middle, but then Kelly is not a true New Yorker. I take great pride in saying that based on her behavior the last few episodes.
I will say it every week in response to your blog: WRITE A BOOK! I PROMISE it will be a best seller!!! PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE!! You are hilarious!
You nailed every bit of it on the head!!! But what the heck was Jill thinking when she was talking about people in hard economic times, then bought a purse for $16,000.00? That made me sick and embarrassed for her.
Tamra your blogs are always hilarious! I think I would rather have spent an hour listening to Kim Zolciak try to sing in Hotlanta than watch this hot mess of an episode! Let me sum it up:
Jill = still ungrateful Bethenny = still funny/becoming big-headed Kelly = still strange/awkward Silex = still boring Marona = still hypocrites LuAnn = still delusional/disCountess
You're a riot. Your family sounds a lot like mine. I wonder if Kelly will have another fart fest soon. Her body is present, but no one is home upstairs...cute!
Tamra, you are so hilarious. Bethenny is definitely the alpha dog. F Ramona. I cracked up when you said "Simon, do you see that black box that is staring us in the face? That is what they call a camera, calm your shit down or we will never be invited to fashion week."
Tamra, I love your blog. It's always a great read. Simon posted on his about the meltdown and told and iteresting detail. Apparently the crew and not his driver caused that problem after repeatedly being told which way to go. I guess the limo was following them instead of the other way around. In any case it shed some interesting light on the situation.
Can you PLEASE either a) write a book or b) have your own talk show????? You are hilarious! I would buy, read, and watch it all. Can't wait for the OC Season to come back.
Tamra you crack me the hell up! I agree with about everything you say on your blog, but am I the only person who DOESN'T think Max is hot?? In fact, I think your Simon is way hotter than him. Anyway keep up the good work...always look forward to the blog. You are the best!
So, I am pretty sure you were misunderstood on your season, with the gretchen fiasco! You are one funny gal...love it
Tamra, you are wonderful, wonderful, wonderful spot on! Please keep writing blogs when the TRHONJersey come on and everyone else that follows. Cannot wait to see you on your next season. Have fun with those beautiful children and Simon. Also $420 for a dress reasonable for red carpet, loaned even better! xo
OK, I was upset with you on how you treated Gretchen and Tammi last season and I really want you to be normal to people in the future and not act like Vicki, BUT I have really enjoyed your blogs. This was great. I can't wait to read yours about the NJ wives.
Tamara, you're a hoot! I like you much better here than on "Orange County." And, SERIOUSLY, $16,000 for a purse?! I don't begrudge people spending their money, but wasting money like that IS. A. SIN.
I never cared for you during the OC season however after reading your NYC blogs ... you are a hoot. Why are you so "yuck" while on camera and so funny and normal when writing? In still can not stand Kelly. She laughs when she thinks she should but not because she gets it.
Ohhhhh Tamra!!!! You are my favorite Housewife...of all of them. Love you on the show AND your blogs!
Keep up the great work!!! Looking forward to Season 5!
You are hilarious and you say exactly what's on my mind! I can't believe no one else mention Kelly's running in the middle of the street! I was gagging! You are the best!
Tamra--as usual, you are right on the mark.
PLEASE give us your take on the Jersey housewives --before one of them ends up in jail or something--what a bunch! The Bravo film crew is probably going to need chicken wire around that set before the end of the seaosn.
Okay so your calling Jill out on a $16,000 purse when you and your husband had to flaunt your $40,000 watch he gave you for your bday?! Hypocrite housewife says....what?! Stop embarrassing yourself with your oh so "intelligent" take on the other shows.
Quote from first page "Do you have to personnally attack Simon just to make you feel better?" Tamara, "Did you have to personnally attack Gretchen just to make you feel better"? Goes both ways.
I agree with the others. You are much too funny to be unkind to your castmates as you were with some last season. Stick to funny- it works much better for you and the viewers. :)
Tamra you made me laugh out loud. Everything was SO true. "Pop goes the weasel"...hahaha. That was so bizarre! Keep blogging! It's nice to be able to hear from you during the off time of RHOC, you're funny as hell.
1st off - You and Simon rock! You guys make matrimony hot!!! I wish Bravo would do a show on the two of you.
Just started reading your blog...great read!
What the hell are you apologizing for!?!? $420 is reasonable for a dress. Even more so if it's an every day dress...more wear for your money! I missed that blog. Now I gotta' go back and read to see what these folks are/were b*tchin' about. Nothing worse than whiney viewers.