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Last week Simon and I met up with Bethenny at her book signing in LA. She is very entertaining and I'm thinking she could be a stand-up comedian. B was nice enough to send me her book Naturally Thin a few weeks a go and I have to say it is really good. Naturally Thin describes exactly how I have been eating for years. I eat every thing, but not at once. It's about balance and moderation. Try it!

LuAnn showed up at the event, looking very tall and gorgeous (she has legs all the way up to her ears.) I was a little scared that Luann was going to be a little offended by my weekly blog. To my surprise, she is nothing like she is portrayed on the show and she has a great sense of humor. She even admitted the whole "Countess" thing is a little over played. After the book signing we went to a fabulous restaurant in Beverly Hills and knocked down a few cocktails. Drunk Bethenny was even more fun the Sober Bethenny. And Luann started talking about herself as the COUNTESS. As we walked out I saw Stevie Wonder and his wife and I swear he was checking out my ass. OK, bad joke!

I hope most of you know that my blog is pure sarcastic humor and entertainment. If you are easily offended and you're looking for proper grammar and spelling, then don't read it. With that said, let's see who pissed me off this week!

I tried so hard to listen to her talk, but I couldn't stop staring at the life sized horse in her living room. How the heck did they get that horse in there and why?

Well, well, well - we finally got to see more of Kelly: The Good, The Bad and The Ugly. This week's show actually opens up with Kelly sitting in her dinning room with her assistant going over her "invitation overload." I tried so hard to listen to her talk, but I couldn't stop staring at the life sized horse in her living room. How the heck did they get that horse in there and why? Then my mind started to wander. Can you imagine the parties Kelly has and things people do to that horse when they are drunk? Oops. Focus, Tamra!

Comments

183 Comments
05/01/2009 - 12:02am
Lena

Have to say first time writting long time watching!
love your blog to funny!
Agree that we love B and some one send Kelly packing! she is just such a fake!

04/08/2009 - 7:09pm
Viewer

Tamra: You are hilarious! I love how you call everyone out for being fake. Seriously... I love it! You know what else I love... the fact that Gretchen is dating Shadey Slade. Wow... she must be so devastated from her loss that not even a YEAR later she has moved on and is photographed making out with Slade--- of all people!

04/02/2009 - 11:20am
Sherry

Tamra, Nene, & Bethenny are the AUTHENTIC three of the series. You are so genuwine! I just love you!

04/01/2009 - 6:25pm
Jennifer

Tamra, I think you are as real and honest as can be. I am from San Diego, live in San Fran area now (25 years old), and have always been able to relate to you and your life story. My parents divorced about 3 years ago, after 25 years of marriage and it is still very hard to accept and realize that I do not have a family anymore. When I watched your episode about visiting your dad, I cried with you. I think it is tougher to have your family split apart when you are older, what happens to all of the memories,vacations, inside jokes? There isnt a day that goes by that I dont miss the love we all had together, and how I can re-create that in my present life.
Anyway, I am proud of you for speaking about it.

04/01/2009 - 6:05pm
Leigh

You're awesome!!!! hehee You are by far my favorite housewife ever and I watch the shows because of you!!!!

04/01/2009 - 3:02pm
Karen

You are great! The best thing about you is that you will say anything. I am usually watching you with my mouth hanging open OR we are talking in unison! Keep saying what we are all thinking; at least us spicy girls.

04/01/2009 - 1:32pm
Viewer

Tamra,

You make me laugh out loud with this blog!!! Keep it up, your "insider" viewpoint is spot on girl!

04/01/2009 - 12:43pm
BB

Tamra,
I'm proud of you, you've made great progress in understanding Bethenny! See, she's just a gal, who's funny and you like her. I'm glad you went to her book signing, she's real and she proved it and didn't even know it! Funny - you stated you and Simon went and for a moment I was thinking what the heck did you go with Simon?? I forgot you had a Simon too, thank God!!!! I was scared for a moment! Keep up the great progress

04/01/2009 - 11:40am
Viewer

Wow..and "Meow"!! Last night's episode made the OC ladies look like kittens!! Can't wait until they get a load of the NJ Housewives!! I live in southern NJ and, by the looks of the NJ cast, they are all from North Jersey...which is.. very close to New York and "Soprano" country!! That should be a hoot!! That will give you LOTS to blog about!!

04/01/2009 - 10:50am
Lucy F

Tamra, I think you are awesome. I think you are right on the money with your commentary of the NYC housewives. I laughed out loud when you pointed out Simon and Alex tossing a beach ball in their above ground pool! Personally, Gretchen made my ears bleed with her stupid jokes and over-the-top laughter. It seemed pretty clear that something wasn't up with her. For example, her squeeling over the engagement ring when it came in the mail. I mean how depressing. I really can't speak for anyone, but to me, it came off that she loved Jeff more as a father figure and less so romantically. I applaude you for calling her out. You obviously has privileged information that the rest of the world didn't see.

04/01/2009 - 10:03am
Baroness Von Hartmanstine :)

Darling Tamra you have found your niche. I couldn't take all the NY squabbling without the balance of the beautiful settings, clothes, hair (Jill!).
Dimwitted Kelly just wilted around a person with a brain (B).
Ramona's husband is way too aware of the camera as well as Simon.
Last night got a better look at Jill's husband, and he is a dollbaby. I think he would look more handsome without those Liberace specs.
p.s. I hope Atlanta comes back strong, that is what got me hooked. I actually liked Sheree, yet still want to know why she didn't wear one of her own designs to her fashion no-show? She makes me laugh she is such a prima!

04/01/2009 - 8:39am
Viewer

*laughing* You know, Tamra, I have to admit... you weren't my favorite on the OC show... but you are NOW. I realize it's a 'reality' show but I don't think your 'character' has enough depth in the footage we've seen. If your blog is honest (and I'm assuming it is), there's so much to you we haven't seen.

You're a damned riot! Keep the entries coming!!!

04/01/2009 - 7:34am
Viewer

My, My My... Can't wait to hear your take on this week's meow fest.!!

04/01/2009 - 2:38am
Viewer

Question, Tamara why are you called "housewives" when all of you work? Does anyone have a MAN that actually keeps them home?

A real HOUSEWIFE

04/01/2009 - 2:08am
Kristen SD

Tamra- you are hysterical!! Loves it!

04/01/2009 - 1:07am
Melody

Hi Tamra...love you and your blog. I think Kelly should be done after this season! Nobody cares about her and her super fake lifestyle.

04/01/2009 - 12:38am
Lee Wilt

Tamra, Where the heck was ur blog today, I rushed home to watch the New York City Housewives and then to read your take as I do everyweek, and there was none.What happened. I will check back later this week, can't wait to read your thoughts on all the fighting this week

Lee

04/01/2009 - 12:30am
Viewer

Tamra, I was reading Bethenny's blog for this week and saw her link to yours. This is hilarious!! I have a brilliant idea and think that YOU should host the next Real Housewives of New York City reunion special. No offense to Andy of course, but that would be entertaining.

04/01/2009 - 12:02am
Monique

Tamara! You are awesome and I love your honesty! Keep doing you girl!

03/31/2009 - 11:52pm
Viewer

I love reading your blogs! On the Real Housewifes of Orange County, I really wasn't a big fan until the finale! You are the down to earth one

Jodi

03/31/2009 - 10:53pm
Wanda

Oh My God Tamra! You are freakin hilarious! I agree with you about Bethenny. She is quite entertaining.

03/31/2009 - 10:50pm
Janet

Usually when people mention don't look for correct spelling that is a clear way to say I can't spell...
The title of the blog was (Cut the BS
Tamara Barney talks fashion show throw downs and coming from a place of NO) what did you bring to this blog other than as usual blah blah blah.

03/31/2009 - 10:47pm
ak

Tamra, your blog actually just made my life. you are so so so funny!! Hateee Kelly love Bethenny. and Im sooo happy someone else noticed that weird ass horse in Kelly's house. So random and awkward! Cant wait to see what you have to say about Bethenny's "time out"!!

03/31/2009 - 10:35pm
Karen

ha, ha, you are right on tamara! It's fun to know you enjoy watching the show too.

03/31/2009 - 10:32pm
Viewer

I just finished watching Kelly lie so many times to so many different people. She does know this is being recorded, right? Does she not notice the camera?

03/31/2009 - 9:52pm
Viewer

why are there so many notwives on the housewives show?
I think one non housewife is enough, keep B and loose Kelly.

03/31/2009 - 9:41pm
Viewer

have you checked out the bravo store?? Kelly, who's been on the show for three seconds, has a billion items with her name on them for sale... Funny how she won't put her name on events for charity but she puts her name all over this crap.

03/31/2009 - 9:39pm
Viewer

You are so funny! Your blogs are so entertaining. I agree with you on the whole Kelly thing. Like for real, why is she on the show? I really think you should crash the NY show. You and Bethenny on the show would be hysterical!

03/31/2009 - 9:39pm
Viewer

"I tried so hard to listen to her talk, but I couldn't stop staring at the life sized horse in her living room. How the heck did they get that horse in there and why?"

- lol are you talking about Kelly? what horse are you talking about?

03/31/2009 - 9:34pm
Colleen

Way to go Tamra! Kelly is just plain awful. Love you though, hottest housewife!

03/31/2009 - 8:45pm
Lisa

I don't like Kelly, I am just going to be honest. She is fake and Bethany can see right through it. B is my girl and she is always right on the money with her comments. GO Team Bethany!

03/31/2009 - 7:30pm
Syd

This is SUCH a great blog! Team Bethenny!

03/31/2009 - 4:13pm
julie

When i see Housewives come on i am so entertained by how dumb and self-absorbed all these women are. It is so high school they way everyone lies and gossips about eachother. I feel much better about myself with every episode that airs...lol wow.

03/30/2009 - 6:22pm
Caroline

Tamra, right on. You are an excellent writer--consider a book when the show is done?

03/30/2009 - 4:05pm
Michelle

Tamara I love your Blog!!! Keep it REAL sista!

03/30/2009 - 3:11pm
erin

Tamara! im 16 years old and love this show ....your 100 percent right!

03/30/2009 - 11:40am
Viewer

Tamra, you are one funny lady!! You have nailed the wives perfectly and I thoroughly enjoy your recaps. Keep up the good work!!

03/30/2009 - 10:28am
ME

We love you, love you, love you and your comments!
Keep 'em comin"!!!

03/29/2009 - 7:25pm
Jena

TAMRA!!!!!!!!!! love your blog and i loved you on your show OBVIOUSLY!! You hit this past episode right on the head! I crack up when reading your blogs I love it!!! I was thinking the same things while watching this episode!! keep it up girl you are fabulous!!!!!!!!!!

03/29/2009 - 5:11pm
Catherine

Tamra - you are trying SO HARD to be best friends with Bethenny it's not even funny. You by far are the most shallow person ever. TRASHY all the way. Keep kissing Bethenny's ***... too bad she can't see through you.

03/29/2009 - 5:07pm
Viewer

i've made many comments here but it is never been posted. Anyway, Tamra has no business supporting Bethany with her book in Beverly Hills. Her main purpose is to get another publicity and to promote her husband's business. Yes, i've seen their recent pictures with the military that raised $75,000. Seriously, they are copycatting Atlanta and NYC doing charity work. I just hope that the O.C. show should be discontinued, i'm tired with these gold digger blond bimbos!!! Please Bravo i'm begging for Vicki, Lauri, Tamra to be banned for any show. These women are not good role models!!!!!

03/29/2009 - 2:42pm
Tamrafan

In the words of Gretchen: Taaaaaam-Ra! I love your blogs, you are hysterical. Your spin is the best ever!

03/29/2009 - 2:33pm
Viewer

Tamra, you had your own reality show. I see absolutely no reason as to why you feel the need to comment on this one! Talk about a camera-whore, maybe better put, you come across as a "blog whore". Maybe you don't like Simon because he's secure in how own skin. Your insecurities are showing, Tamra!!! And love the sucking-up to Bethenny and LuAnn (and Jill's designer). Could you not be more obvious? Your blog is the furthest thing from "funny". On the RHOC,you came across as shallow as Kelly and Ramona. Also as very unsympathetic, as well. We watch the show and we know the content, without having you regurgitate it back to viewers again. You're an idiot. Go away already.

03/29/2009 - 11:56am
Viewer

Tamra, Can I just say that if I ever make it to California one day, I'd be so happy to hangout with you, I just think you are hilarious and so real, I love that you take no BS and call people out on their crap!

Loving it in SC

Kelley

03/29/2009 - 10:40am
Viewer

Tamra, I have to say you were not my fave on the OC, but when you told your story about Gretchen on the last show, you started to redeem youself, and now your blog about NY is RIGHT ON, you rock!!!!! I have forgiven you girl...

03/28/2009 - 10:30pm
AZDoll

No wonder you "Blog" You are just as much of a fake climber as Ramona and the other ridiculous women on this show. The "O.C. women (OMG Vicki) LOL.. are not much better than this bunch.

03/28/2009 - 8:16pm
Autumn

I've gotta say Tamra...I don't care for you much on RHOC, but your blog is hilarious, it's the one I enjoy reading the most!

03/28/2009 - 7:36pm
tori

Why is tamra still here?

03/28/2009 - 7:12pm
Viewer

I like NYC housewives minus Kelly and Bethanny. Bethanny is on only to boost her career as she is not even a housewife. She's also a bit emotionally f'd up but I like her. Her cooking is nothing that I havent seen before, especially her skinny girl martinis....Same ingredients that has been around for years! I do appreciate the ladies from NYC as all of them seem to work and make their own money and or own their own family business unlike the OC housewives and then some!

03/28/2009 - 6:45pm
Native

To LoveTheNYC - The blog was sooo boring, and not funny that I did miss that. The point remains the same - trying to hold on to her 15 min. and be around the popular people. Go away Tamra. Love the NYC ladies.

03/28/2009 - 4:48pm
Jo Ann

I think you are all fake I will not watch o.c next season

03/28/2009 - 3:03pm
Val

You Are So Funny!! Keep up the great work. It is the best commentary!

03/28/2009 - 2:35pm
Real Housewife Wannabe

Girl you are so right about Jill - she was totally send a message with her "it's beeter with just the 5 of us" remark. And you know what, I AGREE. Keep the sarcasm comin' you sexy beatch!

03/28/2009 - 2:17pm
Viewer Susan

Tamra, loved your analysis of the show. I also wonder what Kelly is doing on the show? She adds about as much excitement as Lynn added to the RHOC. However, at least Lynn was a kind person. Kelly is selfish, not very bright or articulate and just not interesting. Get rid of her!

03/28/2009 - 1:39pm
Chasity

Ok Tamra, 2 thoughts...

(AND BTW--YOU ARE HILARIOUS!!)

1) WTF was Kelly wearing to the charity meeting?? UUmmm she never wears a bra (according to the ladies) and then shows up in one with a strapless dress?? EEWW! NOT CUTE!

2) I thought the Jill Stuart interview was ackward. Kelly was trying so hard to make herself seem like a celebrity (with all the "celebrities have friends crap" and when JS said you had to try to balance work & family Kelly is shaking her head in disbeief like she is so amazed. WTF WTF??? Is that anything new???

03/28/2009 - 11:23am
Viewer

Tamra, I really, really did not like you this past season on RHOOC. But, I have to admit, your comments in your blog are spot on! Kelly is just vacuous and insipid. I agree with everything you said about things just not adding up with her. Yes, she's a private person (and signs up for a reality show?). She's an ex-model (who hates trying on clothes but loves to be in the front row of the fashion show). AND she's a writer (who can't say anything more complicated that "he's great, you'd love him, I want you to meet him".) I've never read anything she's written- but her speech makes me seriously suspect the involvement of either a very good editor, or a ghostwriter.

03/28/2009 - 8:19am
Pink Panther

Who gave a contract to Kelly? She moved to NY, NY from Long Island JUST so she could be on the show. Bethany was a sort of Commonlaw wife when they started the show up for season 1. Bethanny is a nice, funny and talented woman. She wants to be a wife and mother. Do not be so harsh on Bethanny, I believe she has more morals and manners than any of them! Simon and Alex love eachother, treasure their boys and want a better life. Who doesn't? At least they admit they want a better life.

03/28/2009 - 12:11am
Viewer

Right on girlfriend. Kelly does not belong with this group and B knows the scoop on her. Can't wait for your new season. Hope gretchen is gone--you were right!!!!

03/27/2009 - 7:48pm
Viewer

Ok, you are really not funny so please don't try to be. Thanks.

03/27/2009 - 7:12pm
Viewer

I agree Tamra, why is Kelly on this show? She was a bad pick by the producers, that's for sure.

03/27/2009 - 5:27pm
Sofia Galvez

Love your blog. I agree with you about Kelly. Why would someone who is private be on a reality show.

03/27/2009 - 3:56pm
kimberly

you are so funny! my favorite part about real house wives of new york is your blog!! keep goin girl! and write a book and go buy that zang toi dress!

03/27/2009 - 3:48pm
Viewer

Love it Tamra - perfect summary!!

03/27/2009 - 2:19pm
Anita

Now Tamara, if you didn't just hit that damn nail right on its head. I agree with everything you wrote. Keep on Keeping on. With your insight I now can not wait for the RHOC.

03/27/2009 - 11:53am
Larua

Tamara I just love love your blog. I read it every week and laugh at how funny and right on you are. I liked you the most in the O.C. housewives and B and Jill are my favs. here too. Keep up you blogs they are great!

03/26/2009 - 11:57pm
K

Bethenny made a great political move by making friends with you while in the OC. You won't be dressing her down anytime soon (no pun intended).

03/26/2009 - 9:14pm
The Dutchess

You got me laughing, and you are right on about Kelly. It was funny watching her and "The Countess" bounce off of each other when they were trying on clothes. Kelly looked so jealous at one point, and TC looked as if she knew it. If looks could kill.

The show should have you move to Manhattan and mix things up.

03/26/2009 - 8:01pm
Celeste

Tamra, You are Hilarious! Please keep blogging. I Look forward to reading it and having a Great Laugh. Have you read the article Sharon wrote at Reality Tea? Was posted today and It is very interesting. Not Eye opening since I and Others already knew this. Wink wink

03/26/2009 - 6:29pm
Viewer

Tamra you are hilarious. The best house wife out there. You tell it like it is and your quote are great. Go team B!!!!

03/26/2009 - 2:05pm
Viewer

Tamra"
You crack me up.I just came from a funeral and was feeling sooooo sad. Until I read your blog.Thank-you for cheering me up.

03/26/2009 - 1:46pm
Andy

You are too much, Tamra! Thanks for the refreshing analysis!

03/26/2009 - 12:40pm
Megan

Tamra you hit the nail on the head with this one!! I wonder what Kelly thinks of herself as she looks back and sees how she acts in these last episodes - how embarassing!! Keep it coming Tamra!!

03/26/2009 - 12:13pm
Taylor

Tamara,your the best and funny as hell! I love the honesty and I have the same views you share. I love what they put in quotatins, wearing that little man around your neck, thats classic!!!!!

03/26/2009 - 12:02pm
Larissa

WOW!! I could not have said it any better!! Please keep blogging and giving your absolutely wonderful insight!!

03/26/2009 - 11:48am
SoCal Viewer

OMG... you are so right about that big as horse in Kelly's house lol

03/26/2009 - 11:44am
Viewer

Tamra, I love you keep blogging!

03/26/2009 - 11:43am
Viewer

This is exactly what I needed! Tears from laughing so hard...Tamara...you are one hysterical, honest woman and I appreciate that. Keep it up!

03/26/2009 - 10:31am
Amanda

Thank you for making me laugh so hard I almost peed myself. Work is boring but I have this to look forward to weekly. By the way the Housewives of the OC much better show and my husband says you all are way hotter.

03/26/2009 - 10:25am
Farah C

Tamra, I love your wit. And I agree with 90% of it. I just don't agree with the way Ramona reacted towards Simon. I agree It wasn't the right place or time to confront Her. But Ramona was horribly tacky and rude with her comments. I am all for NOT liking someone and having that right. But there was no need for Her to of said those rude things (there).And its not that I am a huge Silex fan. But I do admire their relationship. They both should of done things differently. Ramona just took it way Over Board.

03/26/2009 - 10:22am
Viewer

Tamra- you are a ROCK STAR!! Have been a fan of RHW since season 1, and has only become more of a favorite show since you and B have joined the cast. I am a total fan of telling it as it is and its about time people called out the fakes. I understand that its just a TV show....but some people (Kelly and Gretchen) just take it a little too far. There is fake...and then there is F.A.K.E.

Thanks for the entertainment!!

03/26/2009 - 9:57am
angie

i love tamra! you are hilarious and right on!! keep up the good work. can't wait for the OC to be back on.

03/26/2009 - 9:28am
jeanette

Tamra, i love your blogs. I totally agree with you when you said there's something not right about Kelly. She claims she's a private person but then she's on a reality show that allows cameras to enter her life and film. Oh and that giant horse. I couldn't stop staring at it either. Who does that?

03/26/2009 - 8:06am
Viewer

Your blog is funny. Don't listen to all of the Mean posters/comments on these and the other blogs. The vulgar terms/things they say are Much worse than what you have said in jest!! Any news on the next season of the OC? Will they finally get rid of "Golly Goll Gosh" Gretchen? Her story is sooo over. Hope they find a "real" woman/wife/mother/career woman to replace her. She was too young/shallow, and fake. Hopefully, they'll send her to the "Millionaire Matchmaker" show and Patti can "fix her up" with a new Sugar Daddy!! Although, maybe she belongs with Slade? They are both soo "Yesterday's News"..

03/26/2009 - 2:02am
Olivier, Hollywood

Tamra you are the best. You really saw clearly into Kelly's game. She is really full of BS. You rock, your comments are really good and cleaver and I am sure you could steal kelly's job as a journalist and do a better page Six than her (and maybe afford the black and red dress ;P). Keep writing your blog, I love reading it!!

03/25/2009 - 10:15pm
Mali

Amen Tamara! Oh my gosh, I love your blog girlfriend. You were right on about everything that went down on this episode...I just really want to know why Kelly even signed up if she is not going to let the cameras in? Next Season I predict we'll be one less housewife.

03/25/2009 - 10:13pm
Viewer

Love it, Tamra! Keep up the blogging!

03/25/2009 - 9:51pm
Gina

Tamra,
Girl,you are funny as hell! I've been reading your blog before bed and you always give me a good laugh. The Real Housewives of Orange County ROCK! I think Bethanny and Ramona would fit in with you ladies. Too bad they won't move to Orange County. Thanks for almost almost making me pee on myself!

03/25/2009 - 8:49pm
Nance

You are one of my favorite OC housewives. You're awesome!

03/25/2009 - 5:43pm
sharon

Tamra, you are my Favorite on the O.C. housewives but your blog is so funny. I am so glad your doing it instead of anyone else on the O.C. I am like you don't care at all for Kelly she better back off sweet Miss B.. but i think she can take her like you took Greathen..lol she was a joke and you was so good with your one liners.. I love you and i can't wait until it's back on.. I like you b/c you say what you think and straight Up. Like it or not you are doing a Great Job.. with udating us on the N.Y housewives..
love sharon Great Job............

03/25/2009 - 5:41pm
LoveTheNYC

Native -

Tamra did not go to NYC. If you can read, you would see that Bethenny went to Beverly Hills (that's in CA for the geographically challenged) to do publicity for her book.

I agree Tamra - I wish it really was the Bethenny show. We could throw in a little Jill Zarin as a supporting cast member. Would anyone really miss crazy-eyes Ramona or the superficial climbers or the American Indian Countess. Former model is not even worth mentioning by name.

Thanks, Tamra and GO BETHENNY.

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