Teresa Giudice

Teresa Giudice breaks down the final island episode and defends the use of the word "ho-bag."

on May 28, 2010

 

I wasn’t sure this week’s episode could top last week’s 
record-breaking, vampire-and-gummy bear, crazy-face-meltdown one … and 
unfortunately, it didn’t. I was totally disturbed by last week’s episode — it
 was way too much crazy, and as I said last week, I know crazy. But to go from that to this week’s calm, sweet, episode was kind of extreme. It felt like watching one of the earlier
 episodes … all talk, talk, talk, gossip, gossip, gossip. I know the ladies
 deserved some relaxation, but I didn’t need to watch the pedicures. It almost
 put me to sleep (from nightmares last week to falling asleep this week … what a
 ride!).

Jill’s arrival on the island was pretty awkward. I don’t 
think she had a chance to figure anything out. She felt the tension, sort of 
smelled it in the air, like an animal smells a predator, and she ran. Did you 
see Alex’s face? She looked like she was going to explode. And the shaking? 
Scary! I was afraid poor Alex was going to have a nervous breakdown. Reality TV is hard. You put yourself out 
there and you have no control over which parts they show (and don’t show). And you are shooting sometimes 15 hour-days for months and months. It’s exhausting – physically and mentally. I feel
 for all of them: pregnant and stressed Bethenny, trembling and shell-shocked
 Alex, trying-to-please-everyone Ramona, overwhelmed-and-unaware Kelly, and
 elephant-in-the-room Jill. Oh, and can’t-sing-to-save-her-life LuAnn. Only Sonja came out
 without any battle wounds, but she’s new. Let’s check back with her next
 season….

Speaking of new girls, what about Jennifer Gilbert? I met her at The Real Houswives of NJ premiere party at the
 Brownstone and she’s really lovely (and if you’ve never met Alex in person, she 
was there too and she is supermodel pretty. I know it sounds like an insult, and I hear the same thing all the time too: “You’re so much prettier in
 person!” but for Alex, it’s true. Maybe the TV lighting makes her look too
 angular or something, but in person, she glows.) Anyway, I know Jennifer is a 
mom of young kids like me and Jacqueline, and I’d
 love to see more of her story. Her son was a cutie, but I didn’t even catch his 
name.

I did catch quite a bit of potty mouth and body parts talking 
though. Ha! See, we aren’t the only ones out in Jersey talking about sex and
 our chuckies. Even the classy Manhattan girls talk about penis size, handcuffs,
 big ears??? And for the record, LuAnn, I say “hobag." It’s a great word, 
especially when you know someone who is. What do you recommend we say instead?: “Someone
 who indiscreetly engages in sexual transgressions with the entire Metro area”?

I thought Bobby was very sweet and loyal, as always. He’s a
 great guy. The toilet paper bridal dresses on Ramona and Bethenny was very
 cute. Nice to see some actual friendship. Ramona said “love love love love”!
(she added an extra one) and was so super sweet to everyone. (You know it’s a
 calm episode when Ramona is nothing but nice to everyone.) The only things I didn’t want to see was Sonja’s dress falling off and the the thought of her 
giving the Heimlich to a poodle….