"I was verbally raped by them." - Ramona

"You look like a young Cameron Diaz." - Simon

"Well, I might consider doing Playboy. I was married to a European, so being topless is not that big of a deal." - LuAnn

"Ramona becomes All About Eve meets Cruella de Vil when she's having a party. It becomes psycho Nazi warfare." - Bethenny

"She forgot to take the Ramona pill." - LuAnn

"Are there any straight men that came here on their own who didn't want to sleep with me?" - Bethenny

"Being photographed for Playboy is ultimate sex symbol. It's not like you're posing nude, it's like you're posing nude for the most infamous book in the world." - Kelly

"Well I do have a chapter in the book called, 'Don't Listen to the Well-Meaning Moron.'" - Alex

"I really made a deposit in that friendship bank, and I feel like [Bethenny] took the money and ran. I feel like she cleaned out our bank account." - Jill

"That screech has to be Ramona." - Jill

"PETA isn't saying don't wear fur, they're saying don't abuse animals. And so I'm not abusing animals. I'm just wearing fur." - Kelly

"I can understand why Jill is scared of [Bethenny], because she is like a mad dog." - LuAnn

"Kelly believes that life is about cartwheels and roses and lollipops." - Bethenny

"I thought that a fashion show was where everyone bullshits with each other until the fashions come out, you talk about it, pretend like you have any idea what's going on, and then the fashion show ends." - Bethenny

"This moment makes me realize that the Prozac and the margaritas was so smart." - Bethenny

"I don't think Kelly's a moron. I don't think she's quick. I don't think she knows the temperature of the room." - Bethenny

"Jill's dress that night reminded me of her apartment. It was too much metallic going on." - Ramona

"When she gets going on her Pinot Grigio she gets into that frisky, Ramona mode." - LuAnn

"Everyone makes fun of Kelly's breasts because they're off center." - Ramona

"Jill's grubby little fingerprints are all over this one." - Bethenny

"A lot of people I think are very curious as to what I look like without my clothes on." - Kelly

"I don’t think I got the 'Ramona and Simon Sittin' In A Tree' memo." - Bethenny

"If it looks like a Jill and it walks like a Jill, then it probably is a Jill." - Bethenny

"Diarrhea of the mouth is not a real ailment." - Bethenny

"At least I have friends, you have no friends, who are your friends?" - Ramona

"This is like the Ramona-coaster, where one second she's psychotic and psycho, like Freddy Crouger, and then the next minute this is a photo opt." - Bethenny

"I was married to one of the most famous photographers in the universe, and no I don't know how to use a camera." - Kelly

"Now we're doing the poor man's America's Next Top Model. And I'm the last person who should be judging this contest. I wouldn't know a model if it fell on me. But you can only hope." - Bethenny

"Try to stay calm ... don't be like a cat." - Ramona

"There's nothing wrong with having a little nip and tuck here and there." - Sonja

"I don't know what happened. It looked like [Alex] was channeling the devil. She was so serious and mean." - Jill

"When Ramona walked out she looked like an alien invaded her body." - Jill

"Sex is very important to me." - Sonja

"I'm still the straw that stirs the drink." - Sonja

"Holy shitballs, I'm pregnant." - Bethenny

"I know Ramona twenty years. If you think she's crazy now, you shoulda met her then." - Somja

"I was irritated with Kelly and I think I even told her to shut up. You know what? Get over it." - Ramona

"I think I go very well with men." - Sonja

"The Italians were the best. They're great as lovers, but not to marry." - LuAnn

"Will you still be my friend if I'm on adderall?" - Sonja

"This was the party evidently that we were all told to wear a square of toilet paper and make an outfit out of it. ... I didn't have a top on, Kelly vagina was hanging out." - Bethenny

"I can barely hold it together to not bitch slap her." - Jill

"I never got the Google alert, nobody sent me the Google alert." - LuAnn

"That's the European way, you get pregnant then you get married." - Sonja

"I'm not as driven as Ramona. I don't do anything a lot." - Sonja

"I will never forgive [Alex] for that. I might forget though. 'Cause I forget everything." - Jill

"Well, Alex broke out in two ways. She broke out verbally and she broke out in hives on her chest." - Ramona

"I tend to have bigger balls than Alex. So I think she kinda borrowed my balls for a night." - Bethenny

"Whoever LuAnn's date is? He's got bad hair and he's gay!" - Jennifer

"Jill turns her attention to me, and is suddenly very kissy, kissy, fake, fake, phony, phony." - Alex

"You are in high school, you are a mean girl, and you are in high school. And while you are in high school, I am in Brooklyn." - Alex

"What would you like me to do? Throw myself out the f*cking window?" - Jill

"I feel like James Brown." - LuAnn

"Elegance is leeeaaaaarrrrrrrrreeeeeaaaaannnned." - LuAnn

"You guys are making lemons to lemonade...You're making something into something bigger." - Kelly

"If you can't feel, then you're dead Kelly." - Ramona

"Kelly came out of the gate like coo-ca-doodle-doo. She went a little bit off the rails at the table and then wanted to make her grand exit and nearly smashed her face in the glass window." - Bethenny

"Did you go to Columbia the county? Because there's no f'ing way that broad went to college. She didn't go to Mickey Mouse University." - Bethenny

"You're not a chef. You're a cook. It's creepy." - Kelly

"Who wants to die tomorrow and say 'I haven't had a one night stand?' Seriously?" - Sonja

"After my incident with Kelly, I wanna suck the buzz out of Ramona's veins. I want a contact high. Honestly. I want to vampire her ass and get some of that pinot grigio in my system." - Bethenny