Ask the Countess: Weddings and Showers

The Countess explains appropriate etiquette at bridal and baby showers!

I have a tough one... my younger sister is getting married and as one of her bridesmaids, I am working with my other bridesmaids (2 other women, one being my older sister) to organize the bridal shower. I'm a little out numbered on where we should have the party. If I leave it up to them it will be at the American Legion hall with a 6-foot hero. How do you tell people that their choices are tacky without saying "your choices are tacky"? I've offered to pay for the entire party, but they insist on making such questionable decisions on the other things. If there are paper streamers and heart shaped frames as favors, I might lose it! Help!

Darling Laura,
I feel for you, but you never want to be hurt someone's feelings about their choices. I find suggestions work best like: "Wouldn't it be more personal if we had the shower at one of our homes?" (Offer your home if you can.) Or "Don't you think she (the bride) would prefer we go here?" These situations can be delicate and should be treated that way.
The Countess

What is your take on repeat baby showers for 2nd and 3rd children? I have a friend who is having her 2nd child (in just one year) and expects the full momma-to-be treatment. It seems a bit greedy to me - and unnecessary. Your thoughts? Is registering more than once inappropriate?
Susan Moore

Darling Susan,
The point of the shower is to shower gifts on someone who's doing something for the first time, like having a baby or getting married. I think its inappropriate to call it a shower. Call it something else and then we aren't breaking any rules.
The Countess

Hello Countess! We've been invited to a dinner party hosted by my husband's boss. What is a good "hostess" gift to bring in this type of situation? We want to make a good impression. Thanks. I love watching you on the show and think you are a terrific role model!

Darling Bunny,
It's important to make a good impression, especially with your husband's boss. The better you know him the more personal you can be when you select the perfect gift. If he's sportive you might choose something related to the sport he likes, if he loves wine bring a fine wine, he might like to cook so gourmet treats are a good choice. When in doubt give him the first season of The Real Housewives of NYC on DVD.
The Countess


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