No Depth?

Simon addresses his run-in with Ramona at Fashion Week.

One major housekeeping issue from last week. Although I addressed this scene in my 1st Bravo blog in last week’s episode when I was incorrectly introduced, it took an eagle eyed viewer to email me (and I thank you again) and point out a ‘little’ inconsistency in the subtitling. If you had watched that episode in closed captions you could see that I do make an attempt at a correction when I am introduced as holding a position at Hotel Chandler that I do not. (Happily, thanks to viewers, the inconsistency was rectified). I am the first to admit that I can’t recall verbatim everything I say some seven or eight months later, however at the introduction I did state “Don’t believe her," and later had the conversation that I described last week. Now, for those whose feelings for me border on hatred I know that you’ll not be satisfied with this minor correction but.I.don’!

With that done...The episode opens with the previous week’s recap and it’s straight into a scene with Kelly, her assistant Taryn & her horse! They’re going through the mountains of Fashion Week invites and deciding which she’ll go to support her friends and others to write about so she “can synthesize the week in an unusual way." I know I didn’t go to Columbia, so could someone who did translate that for me?

Cut to Jill preparing for her little lunch with Zang Toi and the question arises who had the “Team Toi/Jill” t-shirts first? Despite what some of you might think to the contrary, I must say that I am glad that Jill was wearing the shorter skirt! So Jill gets to try on a ton of clothes and luckily (good prep Zang & staff) they just happen to fit her where she keeps on telling us she has trouble fitting in. I am the first to admit that Jill’s looking fabulous too!

Cue strings so it must be time for Silex – and we’re out visiting one of Alex’s favorite new designers Christopher Deane at their Williamsburg studio. We first met Christopher (Crawford) & Angela (Deane) when their designs were featured at one of our favorite local boutiques Epaulet, owned by our friends Mike Kuhle & Adele Berne. Alex had bought some of Angela & Christopher’s dresses and when wearing the out had been photographed in them (and this time not just from the back lol) and said photos had garnered quite a bit of press. Funnily enough it seems I provided all the voice over/interviews for this scene, but trust me, Alex loved them all too! Lastly, wrapping up this scene you hear -- perhaps tmi -- that as I had ‘made myself surgically incapable’ (well, actually our urologist had) that we wouldn’t be having anymore children. We realized after the birth of Johan that two children would do for us, and although my father was named Francois Johan Walter van Kempen, we had decided that if we had a 3rd boy we weren’t going add a ‘Walter’ into the mix!

Next it’s the meeting with Christina De Simone from People Reaching Out to organize the Creaky Joints Charity Benefit which might be seen later in the season. Bethenny & Ramona are there to assist (although Bethenny rightly says that sometimes these meetings can create more hot air than definite plans.) However, plans seem pretty well afoot when the meeting ends.

Finally we get to see in all its glory, the scene previewed all week on Bravo, Russell Simmons’s NYFW launch of his Argyle Culture, and we learn while watching the episode that Kelly has arranged for us all to be invited! In the VIP section pre-party Ramona & Luann make up after their Hope Lodge tiff, (well sort of, although hadn’t they discussed it at Bethenny’s magazine cover party already?) and then you see us arriving. I was going down to join the line with everyone else but Alex saw the correct place for us enter, and as I do oh so well, I followed her in. Next Ramona is going on about how she heads to the other side of the room when ‘we’ walk in and immediately they cut to a very warm "Hey Honey" greeting from Ramona to Alex. Caught like a deer in the headlights (sorry, but I couldn’t resist that analogy) I decided as the fashion show was still a long time from starting and that I may as well have a little discussion about what her problem with me was. You hear me ask several questions, none of which was “why doesn’t she like me” as Ramona suggested in the follow up interview, and back to live action I finally get out of her that I have "no depth" and am "a shallow person." (Thanks Ramona, but I didn’t need an explanation of what ‘no depth' meant) My retort that she has a ‘man problem’ is refuted and next I am accused of being "feminine (maybe)." Anyway, you see Alex come and get me (not that I am sure that was contiguous) and we take our seats. We are heard making some small/camera talk about our seats and point out how, unlike the scene we filmed at NYFW in Season 1, I am actually sitting next her and not behind her. By the way, somehow I have a feeling this confrontation with Ramona is unfinished business…we’ll see. Finally, with a quick glimpse of the runway you get to see some of Russell’s new designs.

Kelly (supported by her loooong legs) walks in to the Malo store to greet LuAnn and invite her to their fashion show. So far this episode, we’ve had Jill and then Alex and now it’s LuAnn’s turn to try on various clothes and then LuAnn successfully persuades Kelly to join the fray. LuAnn asks Kelly about the upcoming charity meeting, and then at the Malo show Kelly talks about the altercation Ramona and I had the previous night. When Kelly mentions that there must be a back story, LuAnn mentions last year’s Girls Night Out fiasco. One day, when I can, I’ll gladly tell you how that night came about. ;-) Finally LuAnn tells Kelly that Ramona can be a little abrupt and warns her that she hasn’t seen that yet. She then proceeds to fill Kelly in on everyone else. Kelly’s showing hesitation to attend the charity meeting and maybe, just maybe, she was forgetting about this new gig she’d signed up for. Kelly?

It’s time for the Zang Toi fashion luncheon and in Jill’s own words, "Of course Brad is there." Today he’s presumably moved from smacking spackle on her apartment’s walls to having a gentler hand and being her make up artist for the day (something, from memory, he did professionally for many years, I might add).

It’s back to Kelly interviewing designer Jill Stuart (who she knows on a ‘more intimate level’) and Kelly admits that in her line of writing she wouldn’t write anything about anyone else that she wouldn’t want written about herself.

Bethenny & Jill are dining at Le Cirque and we get the first hint that there’s trouble between Bethenny and Kelly. In Bethenny’s words, and before she’d made a name for herself, she felt that Kelly had just blanked her. In Jill’s great style she talks about half a boob hanging out of Kelly’s dress one night and from memory that’s a night that although was filmed didn’t make this series (although might have as b-roll once).

Yes, Kelly, we know that you get invited to a lot of shows, guess what so do we now, but today she tells us that it’s 99% of them. Bethenny’s invited by Jill Stuart’s publicist and ends up sitting next to Kelly and the stage is set for this long brewing hoo-ha. Bethenny says they’ve met 75 times and Kelly says twice – they have what some might call a conversation but is more like a monologue as Bethenny may have well been talking to a wall. Didn’t know women have pissing competitions too – thought that was a man’s game!

It’s another meeting for the Creaky Joints event and Kelly is seen joining them all (due to her then work constraints Alex got there even later than Kelly) and Kelly (again forgetting what brought her to the meeting) declines to be a co-chair and not have her name on the invitation. Bethenny says her piece, Kelly says hers and then it’s the previews for next week’s arguments and does Jill get out her boxing gloves!

Lastly, I am so sad that you didn’t get to see Malan Breton'sfabulous Spring collection held in the tent’s last September. Alex & I had a lot of fun catching up with him both before and after his show.

To be continued…

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